AUTOBIOGRAPHY
Of
GNANI PURUSH DADASHRI
&
THE LIFE OF
AMBALAL M. PATEL
Click Here For A Print Version Of This
Book
Gnani Purush Dadashri
and
His Life
November 7, 1908 --- January 2, 1988
[1] How and When Did This Supreme
Knowledge Manifest?
How Akram Science Manifested Within Me
Questioner:
The Gnan that manifested within you, how did you acquire
it?
Dadashri:
I did not acquire it, it happened naturally. It arose
spontaneously.
Questioner: Did it occur
naturally?
Dadashri:
Yes, this is but natural.
Questioner:
The phenomenon that occurred to you at Surat railway station
does not occur to everyone.
Did it occur because of your past spiritual endeavors in the
kramic path? (Kramic path to self-realization is an arduous path
requiring severe discipline and austerities).
Dadashri:
Yes, everything I did was only in the Kramic path but the fruit
it bore was that of Akram (step-less path of Self-Realization –
requiring no rituals or austerities). However I failed at the level
of Keval Gnan (Absolute Omniscience) and that is why this science of
Akram arose within me.
The Difference
between a Comma And A full Stop
Questioner: First of all, I want to know about Akram
Vignan?
Dadashri: The ‘full stop’ of the ego, is
Akram Vignan. The ‘comma’ of the ego is the Kramik Gnan path.
Akram Vignan is the internal science, which takes you to your
eternal bliss. This is also therefore known as the Science of the
Self. The other is the science of the external, the non-Self. It is
gives transient and temporary happiness. The external science
perishes ultimately, whereas the internal science is eternal and
leads to the Eternal.
Karmas Destroyed In the Fire Of
Gnan
Questioner:
What is this process, which makes a person absolutely worry free
within an hour? Is it some kind of a miracle? Is it some kind of a
ritual?
Dadashri:
Lord Krishna has said that a Gnani Purush can destroy all one’s
bad deeds in the fire of knowledge. That is what I do and that makes
one worry free.
There is No Difference in the Light of
Knowledge
Questioner: Do you believe
in the theory of the Bhagwad Gita?
Dadashri:
I believe in all the theories. Why would I not? Is there not
only one main spiritual theory? There cannot be any difference in
this theory or that theory. There is no difference in the light of
the Self. The difference is only in the method by which the Self is
realized. The light of the Knowledge (Gnan), whether it is of this
path or another, is the same. This method is of mine is
extraordinary and new. Here a person becomes Self-realized and worry
free within an hour.
All Efforts To Know The Self Only
Questioner:
Did you perform rituals of penance, and sessions of meditation
in the past?
Dadashri:
I did all kinds of rituals but I did not do them to acquire any
material things, because I did not need anything. I had no desire for worldly
things. There was no need for such rituals. My spiritiual efforts
were only for the eternal (the Soul), not for anything
temporary. I never
performed any other sadhanas.
Deep Introspection Before Gnan
Questioner: You must have
done a lot of instrospection and deep thinking before your
enlightenment.
Dadashri:
There is nothing in this world that I have not thought about.
That is why this Gnan manifested. By the time you speak two words, a
whole poem is analysed by me. With five thousand revolutions of
thought processes per minute going on within me, I can extract the
essence of any scripture, within two minutes. The scriptures are not
complete. Only a Gnani has the complete knowledge. The scriptures
only show the direction.
Did Not Meet Or Make Any Guru in This
Life
Questioner: Who is your
Guru?
Dadashri:
A guru is only a Guru if you meet him directly, face to face in
this life. I did not meet any such a person in this life. I met all
kinds of saints, but none worthy of making a guru. I had a lot of
spiritual discussions with them and had served them but none were
worthy of becoming my guru. I did read about all the human beings
who became Gnanis, but did not meet them.
Shrimad Rajchandra cannot be considered a Guru for me
because I did not meet
Him personally. I had taken support of his writings along with some
others, but his writings were the greatest support for
me.
I used to read books of Shrimad Rajchandra, Lord
Mahavir, the Gita message of Lord Krishna, volumes of Vedantas,
works of Lord Swaminarayan and also of the Moslem religion. I discovered what they all
are having within, trying to say, and covey. They are all are
correct, but from their own perspective. Within their own degrees of
spiritual vision, they are all correct. The total perspective is of
three hundred and sixty degrees. Some are at fifty, some at hundred,
some at a hundred and fifty. They are all correct. But no one has
three hundred and sixty degree vision. Lord Mahavir had three
hundred and sixty degree vision.
Questioner: From where did
you acquire all this?
Dadashri:
It is a study of many many previous lives.
Questioner:
What was it like initially, after birth for you? Where did it
start from, after your
birth?
Dadashri:
After birth, I
observed the religions of the Vaishnav, of Swaminarayan, of Shiv and
many others. Then I studied Shrimad Rajchandra. Then I read all Lord
Mahavir’s books. I read extensively. This is all I did everyday
while conducting my worldly business of a building and construction
works.
Sincerity Towards The Vitarags, The Fully
Enlightened Ones
Questioner:
What else did you
do?
Dadashri:
Nothing, except I
constantly remained sincere towards the vitarag Lords and towards
Lord Krishna. I had no interest in the worldly life. I have never
been greedy about anything. From my very birth, mature was without
greed. As children when
we went out, we used to visit big gardens; there were all kinds of
fruit trees: pomegranate, apples, oranges etc. The other children would
bring back a lot of fruits but not me. I was never inclined to
collect anything. But I
had so much pride that
I felt that there was no one like me in this world and only I
know how much that pride hurt me.
Questioner: What was it
like for you, before this Gnan?
Dadashri:
I had a feeling that I would attain the right vision of the
Self. I figured out what the true essence was from all the books I
had read. I did understand it all and was convinced that the
tirthankaras, the vitaragas are real and that their doctrine is
absolutely correct. This was my spiritual search from endless past
lives. My worldly religious conduct was like that of both a Vaishnav
and a Jain. In some situations it was Vaishnav like, while in others
it was Jain like. I always drank boiled water, even at work. Even
you as a Jain would not have done that. But that is not the reason
why this Gnan manifested. The Gnan manifested as a result of many
other evidences coming together. Otherwise this phenomenon is not
possible; the Akram science would not have expressed. This Akram
science is the collective science of all the past twenty-four
tirthankaras. This science is now the final opportunity for those
who were not able to attain the Self when they were in the presence
of the twenty-four tirthankaras.
The One with an Honest Heart Found The
Real Thing
Questioner:
How did Akram Gnan manifest within you? Did it occur naturally
by itself or did you have to meditate for it?
Dadashri:
It occurred on its
own; it was ‘but natural’.
I did not do any such meditation. How is it possible for me
to acquire something so phenomenal? I did have some inkling that I
will be blessed with some light of the Self. My heart was pure; I
had done everything with a pure heart and that is why I felt that I
would acquire something worthy, like Self-realization. I felt I
would acquire some light of Knowledge but instead what manifested
was total radiance of the absolute knowledge.
The Worldly Life Is Not An Impediment To
Liberation
Questioner:
Why did you not become a renunciate?
Dadashri:
There was no circumstance for renunciation. It is not that I
disliked renunciation, but I did not see any circumstance for it and
besides, I believed that the worldly life does not obstruct
liberation. I believed very strongly in that. It is not the worldly
life that obstructs liberation, it is the ignorance of the Self that
does. Yes, Lord Mahavir did talk about the path of renunciation but
He spoke about it in the general. He did not emphasize it. And it is
with emphasis and assurance that I am saying that the worldly life
does not obstruct liberation.
Akram Vignan Is The Result Of Many Lives
Of Spiritual Search
Questioner: Akram Gnan is
the bottom line of how many previous lives spiritul
endeavor?
Dadashri:
It is the balance and extract of many previous lives. As a
result of them all this Akram Gnan has manifested
naturally.
Questioner:
This occurred ‘but naturally’ to you, but how?
Dadashri:
I have to say ‘but natural’ for people to understand but it
occurred as a result of many scientific circumstantial evidences
coming together.
Questioner: Which
evidences?
Dadashri:
There were all kinds of evidences; the time must have been right
for the salvation of the world. Once that happened, an instrument
was then necessary to present it to the world.
The State Before Gnan: The Dawn Before
Sunrise
Gnanakshepakvant is a state wherein a person has
continuous thoughts related to the Soul and it never breaks. Such was the continuity of
thoughts I had - it would continue for days and days. I checked
about this state in the scriptures and then I understood that what I
was experiencing was the state of gnanakshepakavant.
Who do you worship?
Questioner: People come to
do your darshan Dada, but who do you worship? Which God does Dada
worship?
Dadashri:
I worship the Lord, Dada Bhagwan that has manifested within
me.
‘I’ and ‘Dada Bhagwan’ Are Not the Same
Questioner:
Why do you allow
yourself to addressed as Bhagwan (God)?
Dadashri: I, myself, am not
God. I too bow to the Lord, to Dada Bhagwan within. I am at the
level of three hundred and fifty six degrees of spiritual
achievement, whereas Dada Bhagwan is at three hundred and sixty
degrees, absolute. I lack the four degrees and therefore I bow down
to Dada Bhagwan.
Questioner: Why do you do
that?
Dadashri:
It is because I want to attain the remaining four degrees. I
will have to complete them, will I not? I failed by four degrees. Do
I have a choice, but to pass them?
Questioner:
Do you have a desire to become Bhagwan?
Dadashri: I find it burdensome to
become Bhagwan. I am a laghutam purush, the most humble of the
humble. There is no one in this world humbler than myself. Therefore I feel it
burdensome to be called
a Bhagwan. On the contrary I feel awkward.
Questioner: If you do not
want to become God, then why do you want to make the effort to complete the four
degrees?
Dadashri:
It is because I want to attain final moksha. What do I want by
becoming a God? God is anyone who possesses godlike attributes. Such people become God. God is an adjective. Whoever possesses such
qualities, people will refer to him as God.
The Lord of The Fourteen Worlds Has
Manifest Here
Questioner:
Who is the word ‘Dada Bhagwan’ used for?
Dadashri:
It is used for Dada Bhagwan, not for me. I am a Gnani Purush
.
Questioner:
Which Bhagwan?
Dadashri:
Dada Bhagwan, the One who is the Lord of the fourteen worlds. He
is within you too, but is not yet manifest and here, within me, he
is fully manifest and is ready to give rewards. Your work can be
accomplished even if you were to take His name even once. But you have to call Him
with an understanding and then salvation is yours. His name will even remove
any worldly obstacle you may have. But you must not have such
worldly aim because there will be no end to it if you become greedy.
For worldly difficulties use His name sparingly. Do you understand
who Dada Bhagwan is?
What is The Real Nature of Dada
Bhagwan?
Questioner:
What is the real nature of Dada Bhagwan?
Dadashri:
He is one who has no
attachment, no ego, and no intellect. He is Dada Bhagwan.
The Power Of The Words Of The Gnani
Purush
The Gnani Purush fell short by four
degrees in attaining Keval Gnan, absolute knowledge, but he has gone
above and beyond attaining the knowledge of the Soul. He has arisen above the
knowledge of the Self but has not reached the final destination of
full enlightenment. The world cannot know about anything that is
seen and known of this in-between stage of the Gnani. People have no knowledge of
a single sentence the Gnani utters; they have no clue about it. You understand whatever I
say through your intellect – it is not as if what I say is
incomprehensible. The
intellect is a light; it is through the power of this light that you
are able to comprehend what is being said; it is this light that
gives credence to what is being said. This however, will not be
remembered when needed. Now because it is the Gnani Purush who is
uttering the words and there is power in the spoken words of a Gnani
Purush, these words will manifest at the right time. The power of
the spoken word is defined by its presence when the need arises in
situations of conflict and difficulty.
Absolute Understanding: Absolute
Knowledge
I am person who failed to acquire
Absolute Knowledge.
Questioner:
What
are the four degrees that you speak of?
Dadashri:
Whatever
you see; the attachment to worldly things in my conduct that you
see. It is irrelevant
that I am really unattached from within. These degrees are
automatically deducted when others see imperfection in me. I have seen the
universe as it seen, understood, but not known and experienced it as
is needed in absolute enlightenment.
Questioner:
How
can one tell the difference between understanding and
experience?
Dadashri:
It
has come into my vision and understanding but not yet in my
knowledge and experience. It would have been total enlightenment had
it come into my experience and
knowledge. But
because it is only in my understanding, it is called absolute understanding or
darshan.
Questioner:
I
do not understand what you mean when you say that you came to
understand it but you do not know and experience it.
Dadashri:
What
is this world? How did it come about? How did the mind arise? Who is
the ‘father’ and ‘mother’ of the mind? What is intellect? What is
ego? What is chit? Why are people born? Who runs this world? Does
God or someone else run this world? Who are you? Who am I?, all this
has come into my exact understanding. And furthermore with my divine
inner vision I see the Soul everywhere, in every creature. All this
has come in my understanding and that is why it is called keval
darshan, absolute understanding.
It is The Taped Record That
Speaks
Dadashri:
Who
is doing this talking? Who is talking to you?
Questioner:
I
do not know that.
Dadashri:
I,
the Self am not talking to you. I am the Self. I am just observing
you. I remain in my place as an observer and this speech, is a ‘tape
record’ (speech recorded in the past life). It is a mechanical record,
which can be recorded again.
The person you see in front of you is the
Patel of Bhadaran and the speech that is flowing is a tape record.
It is the original tape record. I live in unity with Dada Bhagwan
that has manifest within me. Sometimes I become one
with Ambalal Patel. I have to maintain relations with both the
sides. I have to go
with Ambalal in my worldly interactions, otherwise I remain one with
Dada Bhagwan.
On The Day of Gurupunan: Full Darshan
Of The Gnani Purush
There are three very auspicious days: The
Indian New Year Day, Janmajayanti, birthday of the Gnani, and
Gurupurnima. On these days there are no external interactions with
anyone and therefore I, the Gnani Purush become one with Dada
Bhagwan within and consequently am in an absolute state. You can reap tremendous
benefit from darshan of this state. That is why it is very
important to do Dada’s darshan on these days.
The Eleventh Wonder : Akram
Vignan
Up to the time of Lord Mahavir, there
were ten wonders in this world and this is the eleventh wonder. The
Gnani Purush remains a vitarag (completely detached) even though he
is conducting business in the world. Is it indeed a wonder that you
are able to do such a darshan, see this. Just look at my topi and my
coat! Should a Gnani even have a need for these? Why does he have an
attachment to worldly things?
The One who has absoltely no desire for any material things,
is trapped in worldly things. He is in the final stages of becoming
absolutely enlightened. It must be people’s misfortune that the
Gnani is in mundane worldly attire and not in the clothes of a
sadhu. Otherwise millions of people would have been blessed if his
attire were that of the renunciate. Alas! People’s merit karma falls
short, as they fail to recognize me as a Gnani Purush.
Let This Bliss Be Known To The
World
Questioner:
What
inspired you to spread this new religion?
Dadashri:
The
inspiration to spread religion comes naturally. I felt the desire to make
others experience the same bliss that I experience. This is the
inspiration.
People ask me how I will be able to
fulfill the commitment that I have taken for the salvation of the
world now that I am getting old when I take so long to finish even
one-cup tea in the morning.
I do not have to do the work on a gross or a physical
level. It is all
occurring at a subtle level. The external events are merely a
drama. I have to
support them.
Gnani’s Compassion Is A Thing To
Behold
Questioner:
As
a vitarag, what is your relation with worldly interaction?
Dadashri:
Vitarag
bhaav, an inner intent without any attachment. The inner intent of
salvation of the entire world is the vitarag bhhav. There is no
other relation. The one you are questioning now is not vitarag at
the moment. I am a meddlesome vitarag; meddlesome as far as wanting
others to be free. The real vitarags do not get involved with
anything. They merely give darshan to people. They do not have any
dealings with people, none whatsoever.
Questioner:
But
when the vitarags associate with people, is it to discharge and be
done with their own karma?
Dadashri:
They
do so to clear their own karmic accounts from past life, not for
others. They have no other inner intentions. My only intention is
that people attain liberation, the way I have. The real vitarags are
not like this. They have no inner intents or wishes. They are
absolutely unattached. Where as, I do have this one, intent. That is why I get up early
in the morning and start this school, satsang which lasts till
eleven thirty at night. Why do people suffer so much misery
needlessly? There is no
misery and yet they are suffering so much. All their suffering will
disappear when they get rid of their misunderstanding.
How will the misunderstanding go? It will
not happen by telling them anything. It will only go when they
actually see me, and my state. The person that does this is
considered the embodied manifest, the Lord in human form. They are considered
embodiment of faith; the one in whom people can place their total
faith.
Questioner:
How
do the thoughts, speech and acts of an aptapurush, the fully
awakened one come forth?
Dadashri:
His
speech is such that it conquers and wins the mind, the mind
stops. His worldly
interaction is extraordinary and spell binding and the speech is
without a trace of ego.
His conduct is egoless. Such a conduct is almost never to be
found.
Whom Can You Consider A Gnani?
Questioner:
How
do you define a Gnani?
Dadashri:
A
Gnani is where there is constant light. He is the
personification of knowledge.
He knows everything. He is the one who has nothing more left
to know. Gnani means complete light; complete light means there is
no trace of any darkness.
A Gnani is to be found once in a while;
there is never more than one Gnani in the world at a time. If there were, it would
create competition between them. To become a Gnani is a
natural occurance. It happens. No one can become a Gnani on his or
her own accord.
Gnani Purush is the one who is absolutely
liberated. He is
absolutely free and unique. No one can come even close to a
Gnani. Nor can anyone
compete against the Gnani because he who competes is not a
Gnani.
Free From All Bondage Of The
Universe
The vitarags have said that one will be
freed eternally if one worships the lotus feet of a Gnani; the One
who is absolutely unrestricted by dravya, kshetra, kaad and bhaav.
Dravya is matter. Kshetra is location. Kaad is time. Bhaav is inner
intent. Such beings can
never be held back. These are the only four things in this world and
it is because of these four that the world exists. However, none of
the four can hold down or bind a Gnani Purush. Lord Mahavira has
asked us to worship the feet of such a person.
No Attachment or Abhorrence, No
Renunciation Or Acquisition.
A Gnani is he one who has no need to
renunciate or acquire. He is natural amidst these states, and is
unaffected by them. He
does not have likes or dislikes. He has extraordinary quality of not
having any attachments or abhorrence.
The Flawless Vision
I do not see anyone in this world as
being at fault. Even if you were to pick my pocket, I will not see
you as a theif. I have
compassion towards everyone including the thief and the
murderer. I am beyond
all feelings of duality, kindness or pity. Humans feel pity. A Gnani
Purush does not have any pity. Gnanis are beyond all duality. I have
the elemental scientific vision, the flawless vision, and therefore
I do not see any faults anywhere. My vision is not guided by any
circumstances. I directly see only the Soul in every being.
[2] Childhood Events
Practice of Non-violence instilled by
my Mother
My mother was thirty-six years older than
me. One day I asked her
if the bed bugs in the home bit her also. She replied, ‘ my dear, yes
they do. These poor bugs don’t come with containers to carry away
extra food with them.
They eat their share and go away’. I said to myself, ‘Blessed
is this mother and blessed also is the son born to such a
mother’.
I used to let even the bed bugs bite me.
I would tell the bug, ‘ now that you are here, eat a full meal. Do
not leave hungry’. This body of mine is a hotel. It is such that all
must feel comfortable and none be hurt through it. This was the business of my
hotel. Thus I have even
fed bed bugs. Would anyone fine me if I did not? No! My sole intent was to attain
the Self. I constantly
observed the rules of not eating after dark, not eating root crops
and dranking boiled water.
I had left no stone unturned in my spiritual efforts and
therefore Akram Vignan came forth, a science that will purify the
whole world.
My Mother Taught me Never to Hit
Back
My mother was very noble and she gave me
the highest lessons of life. One day I was very young I came home
after a fight with a boy in which I bit him to the extent that he
was bleeding. When my
mother found out she took me aside and told me, ‘my dear that little
boy is bleeding.
Suppose some were to hurt you and you were to bleed, would I
not have to nurse you and take care of your bleeding? Would his mother not be
nursing his wounds now?
And just imagine how much that poor boy must be crying from
the pain. So from now
on come with beating but do not ever come home after beating
anyone. I will nurse
you and take care of you’. Such was her nobility. Now tell me, would
such a mother not make a Mahavir out of a son? Such were the noble
lessons, she had instilled in me.
Who is The Loser in All This?
Sometimes I used to sulk when I was
young. Once when I had sulked. It was not a very prolonged sulking
incident. I analysed it, and I realized that ultimately I was the
loser. From there on I had decided no matter what others did to me,
I would not sulk. That day because of my sulking, I lost my share of
the morning milk. I reflected on the events of that day and came to
the final conclusion that I had gained nothing.
Once I told my mother that she was
treating my sister-in-law Diwalibhabhi, and me the same by giving
her the same amount of milk as gave me and that she should give her
less. I told her was satisfied with the amount she gave me and that
I was not asking her for more but I wanted her to reduce the amount
she gave to Diwalibhabhi. My mother told me, ‘you have your mother
here, whereas she does not have hers. So I have to give her the same
amount otherwise she will feel bad.’ I was still not satisfied but
mother kept explaining things to me trying to make me understand.
She kept patching up situations. One day I threw a tantrum but in
the end I lost out. I
then told myself I should not be awkward again.
Clear Understanding At A Very Tender
Age
When I was twelve my kanthi snapped.(a
necklace of tiny wooden beads usually given to a disciple by his
guru in exchange for loyalty to the guru and his teachings). My
mother suggested that we should go and tie another kanthi. I refused and told her,
‘Although our forefathers may have been following this age-old
tradition, I do not believe in it. Just because they jumped in a
well, should we all blindly do the same? In those days the well may
have been full of water, but today I do not see any water. All I see
is large stones and snakes at the bottom. I refuse to jump in it.’
First we should check to see if there is any water in it before you
jump in. What is the point of jumping in a well and breaking your
head?
I believed that a guru should be someone
who would show me the light; he should show me the way. He should be able to guide
me spiritually. I did not see any point in undergoing religious
rituals of having cold water sprinkled or poured over my head and
having someone tie a kanthi around my neck. But I also felt that if
a person were worthy of being a true guru, then I would not only let
him pour cold water over me but even if he were to severe my arm, I
would let him because I have had arms and limbs for infinite
births. In which birth
did I not have these?
And if otherwise someone came and cut off my arm, would I
have a choice in the matter?
So why would I not let a guru cut it? If some dacoit were to come
and along and cut it, do people have a choice? And what if the guru were to
cut my throat? No Guru
would do such a thing.
But if he did, is there any reason why you should not let
him?
My mother told me, ‘Then everyone will
call you ‘nugaro’. At the time I did not understand what that meant.
I thought it was a term people used to tease others. It wasn’t until
much later that I realized it meant someone without a guru. So I said to her, ‘
Never mind if they call me nugaro. They will only make fun of me,
that is all and no more’.
No Need For Such A Moksha
When I was thirteen, after school I used
to visit a couple of ascetics from North India at a nearby ashram in
Bhadaran. I would massage their feet because they were very
pure. One day one
of them said to me, ‘Son, God will take you to moksha.’ I told him
that I would appreciate it if he did not say such things because I
found that unacceptable. He felt that I did not understand since I
was only a child. He told me that gradually I would understand
it. Later on my thought
processes were these: if God were to take me to moksha, he would
become my superior and would dictate over me. He would offer me a
place to sit but later when his acquaintance comes, he would ask me
to vacate that seat. If that is what moksha is, then he can keep his
moksha.
Instead of this of dependency it is
better to enjoy some bhajias with your wife. That kind of dependency
is better. Such a ‘moksha’ is better than the other. I do not want
moksha where there is a superior above me who dictates my
moves.
So even at age of thirteen I had such
thoughts about independence. I did not want any kind of moksha where
there was a superior over me. If such a moksha did not exist, even
then one thing was for sure. I did not want either a superior above
me or any subordinate under me. For sure I did not want any
subordinates.
I did not want moksha where I am told
where or where not to sit. I wanted moksha where there was no
superior above me, and no inferior below me. I wanted a path of
liberation void of any attachments. At the time I was not aware that
the path of the vitarag Lords was indeed there. All I knew was that I did
not want any superior.
I did not want a God that dictates. Such a God can go home, what
use would I have for such God?
If he is a God, then I am also God. It does not matter if he
tries to keep me under control for a while but I don’t want it and
for what purpose? For the gratification of these five senses? What is the use of such
gratification? Animals have temptations and so do we, so what is the
difference between the animals and us?
Independent By Nature From The Very
Beginning
From the very beginning I knew that I
would not work for anyone. I always felt that it was better to die
than to work for someone, because that meant having a boss who could
scold me. This was my biggest shortcoming, but this very shortcoming
also saved me in many ways. The biggest disinclination I had was
that I would not work for anyone. A friend asked me one day
what I would do if my elder brother threw me out of the house. I
told him that I would open up a paan shop (selling beetle nut leaf
with condiments), but I would not work for anyone. I would keep the shop
open till ten o’clock at night, go home late for dinner and go to
bed at eleven. I might
earn three rupees a day, or even just two, but I would make do. I
did not want any kind of dependency, whatsoever.
Always Protected Subordinates
Do you know what I practiced all my life?
I made it my principle to confront superiors and protect the
subordinates. I rebelled, but against people in positions of
power. What do people
generally do? They submit to their superiors and intimidate their
subordinates. Whereas I would rebel against my superiors and
consequently did not make any material gains. That did not bother
me. But I had taken great care of the subordinates. Protecting the
subordinates is the greatest quality.
Questioner:
That
is because you are a Kshatriya.
Dadashri:
Yes,
because I am a Kshatriya. That is a Kshatriya quality. If I see two
people fighting, I will side with the underdog. That is my kshatriya
quality.
In My Youth I was Rebellious: The
World Melted My Ego
I can see it all. If I look in that
direction, I can see it all and the words come forth. I can see whatever I want to
and I say it like it is.
Otherwise how am I to remember everything? I can see
everything all the way to my childhood days. I can see all the
phases of that time; how I used to go late into the classroom, after
the bell rang. The teacher used to get irritated, and yet he could
not say anything.
Questioner:
Why
did you enter the classroom after the bell?
Dadashri:
My
arrogance. Such was the false pride I had in my mind. It is because
of such arrogance and rebellion that I suffered. A normal person would be
seated well before the bell rings.
Questioner:
But to be arrogant is to be on the wrong path, is it not?
Dadashri: It
is definitely a wrong path.
The teacher would already be in the classroom but I would go to the
class after the bell. It was acceptable for the teacher to be late
but by school laws, the students were supposed to be there before
the bell. But I was obstinate and arrogant: ‘Who does the teacher
think he is?’ This is what I used to think! Just look at the
arrogance: ‘The fool!
Do you go to school to study or for confrontation?
Questioner:
But
did the teacher not say anything to you?
Dadashri:
He
did, but with reservation about his own safety. He used to be afraid of
being beaten up outside of school.
Questioner: Dada, were you
that rebellious?
Dadashri:
Yes,
I was rebellious and mischievous. The whole stock (brought forth
from past life) was of obstinacy and rebellion.
Questioner:
And
in the midst of all that, this Gnan manifest within you. That is a
wonder.
Dadashri:
Gnan
happened. I did not have attachment (mamta) whatsoever. The problem
was only of the ego. The Gnan happened because of no
attachment. I did not have a trace of attachment or greed, but if
someone were to stir my ego, then I would not spare him. Many people would talk
behind my back calling me all kinds of names related to a heavy ego.
They used so many adjectives to describe me. I was aware of everything
going on behind my back, but I had no attachment and that was my
foremost attribute, and very commendable at that! The ego without attachment
is such that it projected aura and power. On the other hand it does
not matter how calm and friendly a person maybe, if he has
attachment, then he is sunk deep in the worldly life. The joy I experienced was
because I do not have any attachment. It is attachment that is the
cause of the worldly life, not the ego.
Now I know that I have become ego less.
Now, no one needs to do anything to straighten me up.
Questioner: How
did you straighten out, Dada?
Dadashri:
People
straightened me up by hitting me with all manners of insults,
negativities. Some even trapped me in situations from which I had no
recourse but to soften up.
I learnt a lot from these interactions.
Questioner:
Did
everything start clearing up for you from your past lives?