Silence increases sheel

Questioner:  In this world, things happen according to the effects of our karma unfolding in this life. And in the process, if we become aware of a deception, that a fraud is being perpetrated against us, how do we stand up to it?  How do we resolve it with equanimity?

A Muslim girl once met me in Aurangabad.  I asked, ‘what is your name?’ She said, ‘Dadaji, my name is Mashroor.’  I said, ‘Come sit near me.  Why did you come?’  She said, ‘my brother is praising Dadaji a lot.  Dadaji Dadaji Dadaji Dadaji.  ‘So, I thought, how does Dadaji look?’  I said, ‘this is how, look at this, this is Dadaji.’  She was wondering, how is Dadaji’s hair and sideburn!  Why her brother was praising him so much?  Her brother had taken Gnan from me.  After Gnan, he had gone straight to Iraq.  He earned 10,000 rupees per month in Iraq.  He returned when his sister was about to get married.  He left after the Gnan, he had not seen me since, but when he returned home, he started praising Dadaji, ‘The ‘Dadaji’ is there and I want to see Dadaji and pay my respect to Dadaji.’

Questioner:  Dadaji, the brother’s experience is that when the Iran-Iraq war was going on, bombs falling all around, fires broke out all around but at that time, there was no effect on him.  Dadaji’s Gnan was present that this is all scientific circumstantial evidence, and that I am pure Soul.

Dadashri:  Yes, 'Dadaji' was present there with him. His sister was surprised that Dadaji was protecting him there.  So the sister came to see me and pay her respects. ‘How does your guru look?  I want to see him.  How does the Gnani Purush look?’  She came and she felt good as soon as she saw Dadaji.  She felt in her heart that Dadaji looks like God’s (Khuda in Islam) assistant.

I asked her what she did for a living and she told me that she was a lecturer. ‘Are you married or not?’  I asked. ‘No, I am not, but I am engaged to marry a lawyer in Pakistan’ she answered. ‘When are you planning to be married?’ I inquired. ‘In six months time’ she replied.

‘Right now you are not unhappy but after your wedding what will you do if your husband makes you suffer?  Do you have some project (plans) to fall back on to after your marriage?  Before you marry him, you must have some sort of project (plan) in your head about how you will act towards him.  Have you thought about whether or not you will suit each after you are married?’  I asked.

‘I have made all the necessary preparations.  If he utters a word like this, I will respond like that and if he says that, then I will tell him this!  I have a response for everything he may say!’ she said.

Just as Russia and the U.S. had prepared for a cold war, she was also prepared for one.  She had made preparations to tackle all potential disputes.  Before he could even begin, she was ready to fire!  If he fires a torpedo she would come back with an appropriate weapon. I informed her that she had begun a cold war, for which there was no end.

Girls have a tendency to act this way. They have everything planned from the start.  Boys on the other hand do not preplan anything. So the naive boys lose the battle.

 I asked Mashroor, ‘who taught you all this? If you carry on this way, he is bound to give you a divorce- Muslim style (talaaq) within six months.  Do you want a divorce?  Your approach is wrong.’ ‘If I do not act this way towards him then he will become my oppressor!’ She cried.

‘Will you listen to what I have to say? Do you want your marriage to be a happy one?  All the women who have prepared to argue and quarrel with their husbands have failed miserably.’  I explained to her that she should go without anticipating any antagonism from him and not make any preparations for conflict. If you quarrel with your spouse day in and day out, will he not think about getting himself another woman?  Win him over with love.

Questioner:  Love?

Dadashri:  Yes, love. Even in attachment there is some element of love. You do not hate him, do you? Do you want to make it like a war between India and Pakistan?  Every one in a marriage seems to be at war. This brings misery into their lives.

 I explained to her how she should deal with her husband. ‘You should deal with him in such a way that if he tries to create a dispute you should be ready to resolve it. You should be cool and calm when he gets fired up. Even if he tries to create differences between the two of you, you should act as though you are both one.  All these relationships are relative relationships.  If you both end up tearing things apart, you will end up divorced.’  She asked me what she should do.  I told her, ‘Act according to the demands of his mood. If he is in a bad mood, you should have a chat with the God (Allah) within him and after he feels good, you can turn your conversation to him.  If he is not feeling lively and you are pestering him, he will explode.’

  You should see him innocent.  Even if he says something rotten to you, keep quiet.  Love should be true.  Worldly love (attraction) only lasts for six months to a year perhaps.  Love is tolerance and adjustment.

 I asked her who else was included in the family and she mentioned her mother-in-law. ‘How will you adjust with her?’  I asked. ‘I can get around her too.’  She replied. So I explained to her how she should deal with her mother-in-law as well.

Then I gave her this understanding. She replied, ‘I like all these talks very much, Dadaji.’ I told her, ‘if you follow this he will not give you the divorce in Muslim custom (tallaq), and you will get along well his mother too. She had brought along with her a sandalwood garland, which she placed over my head. I gave it to her and told her, ‘take this garland with you, place it in your home and after doing its darshan, start your day. Then your family life with your husband will proceed very well.’ She has the garland even now.

I explained to her about the force of good character (charitrabud) ‘Whenever your husband yells you should maintain your silence and calmly watch what happens. Your inner strength (charitrabud) will grow and it will have an impact on him.  Even though he is a lawyer, he will be baffled by your ability to stay calm and collected. Eventually he will give in.’ She followed my advice and acted on it. When one meets a person of Dadaji’s inner strength of character (sheelvan) then what else is necessary? Otherwise, prior adjustments were all wrong. That adjustment was like the cold war between Russia and America. The moment one presses a button; there is a fire on the other side. Is this humanity? Why so much fear? What is life for? Alas! The circumstances are like that. What can a person do?

 When you prepare to win the battle (clash at home) you lose your inner strength of character (charitrabud).  I never prepare for any battle.  You might feel that in demonstrating your strength you are winning, but in fact, you are really losing your strength of character.  If you lose this, your husband will not value you at all. Mashroor understood this well and promised that, ‘from now on Dada, I will not fight and I promise to follow your words.’

If someone is committing deceitful aggression (prapanch) against you, and if you make preparations (inner intellectual adjustments) to retaliate, your strength of character (charitrabud) will dissipate. No matter how much someone tries to provoke you into a conflict, if you do not respond to him, then he will become be entangled in his own scheme. If you prepare to retaliate, you will be sucked into his trap.  So many people have tried to thwart me but they have lost at their own game, because I never think about retaliation. Even a thought of retaliating will destroy your overt and inner strength of character (charitrabud and sheelvanpanu).

What is inner strength of character (sheel, sheelvanpanu)? If the opponent has come to quarrel and abuse you, when he sees you, he will not be able to say a word. If you ask him to say something, he will not be able to say anything. That is the power of sheel! So, if you make any preparation whatsoever, then that ‘sheel’ will break. Do not make any preparations. Let whoever wants to do anything, do whatever he wants. Say, ‘I am everywhere.’ (The enlightened world view, ‘I am’, ‘there is no difference between the Self of the attacker and ‘I’ ’).

Questioner:  What if there are subtle under currents of deceitful approaches to drag us into a conflict?

Dadashri:  Whatever he may try to do, if You (the awakened Self in Akram Vignan) remain unmoved, and do not want to be dragged in, then he will not be able to do anything to you.  

Questioner:   But I have to remain in the decision, ‘I do not want to be dragged in’ (ego), do I not?

Dadashri:  No. This, ‘I do not want to be dragged in,’ should be from the state of the Self (swadhin). 

Questioner:  So am I to remain in my natural (sahaj) state (the Self)?

Dadashri:  Yes, in the natural state only.  And if due to certain circumstances, you (the non-Self, Chandulal) get pulled, and have to go, then later you should not be bothered (intellect use, do not ruminate over the past) and not interfere in that happening. Consider it as something that is history. 

Questioner:  I should not become engrossed (tanmayakar) in it?

Dadashri:  Do not become engrossed in it at all.  First let this inner strength of character (sheel) develop. This ‘character’ is an exclusive inner force and energy. It (sheel) is possible to attain only after Gnan. The influence and power that impresses others (prabhav), is a very small achievement in comparison with this ‘sheel’. This ‘prabhav’ is seen in worldly people. The one with this inner exclusive force (sheel) has  no inferiority complex, even in front of God Himself. And how then is such a person with ‘sheel’ going to feel inferior in front of humans?  That is what ‘sheel’ is.  It will protect you in every way.  It will protect you from the celestial beings (devas, devis). It will protect you from  fear of snakes, insects, and all animals It will protect you from everything.  So this inner force, ‘sheel’ is needed. 

And when does ‘sheel’ develop?  After receiving the Gnan of the Gnani Purush, one utilizes all his free time in ‘developing and nurturing’ this sheel. Sheel here means that when the other person is making preparations for conflict, one does not make any counter preparations to defend or offend.  Any counter preparation is nothing but a ‘leakage’ (dissipation) of this gathered inner energy, sheel. If this happens then sheel vanishes. 

Questioner:  Should we build a wall to protect this sheel, so that it is not used up by events and interactions with persons?

Dadashri:  No. This sheel, it is such a thing; a force that no one can invade it, no one can touch it.  So it does not need any protection. If someone asks, ‘what if it is stolen at night?  And then you have to stay up all night?’  No, you don’t stay up.  Go to sleep without any worry. You sleep peacefully.

With regards to this sheel, when the son or the wife go against you, under some circumstances; and if at that time you make any attempts to defend your self or make any attempts to attack, then your sheel will vanish. Instead you should continue to ‘see’ that this machine (Chandubhai) has run into problems. Then see where the machine has run into problems. What do others do?  They fight, ‘you are this and you are that.’ Such words will ruin your sheel. Even if someone curses me a million times, I would say ‘welcome, my brother.’

  Some father will say, ‘if my son goes against me and if I do not put him down, instill fear in him, he will only rise more against me.’ No, such attitude of instilling fear will break your sheel and make you weaker. Furthermore, your son will revolt against you. And if you do not make him afraid, and if you be patient with him, listen to him, tolerate him, then slowly he will turn around. This is the force of sheel. Not knowing this, people continue to suffer. 

When faced with overt and inner conflicts, we are generally forced to prepare for our defense. When we do this, we slip.  We do not have a weapon.  He has the weapon so let him use it.  After all it is vyavasthit, is it not?  But, the vyavasthit is such that he will be hurt himself with his own weapon.

Mashroor understood this completely.  ‘Dadaji has drawn the picture for me’ she says ‘you meant to show this type of drawing?’ I replied, ‘yes, this drawing’.  ‘Wow! What a picture!’ The girl told her parents. Her father who is a doctor came to see me to pay his respects.

See now, does Dadaji take any time?  A ‘Mashoor’ needs to come here.  Once here the operation occurs right away.  Now over there, in Pakistan, she remembers ‘Dadaji, Dadaji.’  Everyday! 

Jai Sat Chit Anand

The above is a mini sample of the types of satsang that will be available in Dadavani Magazine .

November 2005 heralds a milestone in Akram Vignan as the monthly magazine Dadavani becomes available  in English and Hindi languages. The magazine has been available in Gujarati for the past 10 years and it delivers original satsang in question and answer format with Gnani Purush Dadashri, monthly in your home. The Gnani Purush had intended for his speech to unfold within the hearts of human beings suffering from the stresses and strains of inner and external suffering, and in order to make this possible the magazine subscription is at cost of publishing and printing and mailing and for merely $ 11 a year, less than the cost of a can of coke, you will be able to have in your hands a magazine which will instill peace in your worldly life interactions and show you the path of eternal bliss within.

For those who hail from India, in whose homes the newer generation has difficulty in reading or understanding Gujarati or Hindi this magazine represents a golden opportunity to communicate the message of harmony in the home and interpersonal relationships through the words of the enlightened One, while simultaneously improving one's fluency in these languages.  

Only  about five percent of the extraordinary new literature of Akram Vignan is now available in English. The Gnani Purush has never written a word, and yet every time he said anything the words that came forth have been taken up by spiritual aspirants and freedom seekers like a man who has come across a few sips of water after a day long journey on a hot desert.
 
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