Life Without
Conflict
The World Has Been Given
Religion & Worldly Interaction
Knowledge
Make a book that has the knowledge
of worldly interactions. If people’s worldly interactions improve it would be
enough. These words of mine will change their minds for the benefit of all. Keep
my words as they are. Do not alter them. They have tremendous power in them.
They are without any sense of ownership. The preparation for publication and
presentation is your task.
This knowledge of mine on the art
and science of worldly interaction is such that it will be useful for all in the
world. The entire mankind will benefit from it.
My worldly interaction was very
ideal. I am teaching worldly interaction as well as religion. Everyone will
benefit, from the one with gross understanding to the one with subtle
understanding. Therefore do something that will help all people. I have read
many books that claim to help the world, but they fall short. They may help a
little, but none exist that make a meaningful improvement in life. For this you
need a doctor of the mind. I am the full doctor of mind.
~Dadashri
EDITORIAL
LIFE WITHOUT
CONFLICT
Everyone lives life, but real living is only if their
life is free of conflicts.
In the current time cycle of Kaliyug bickering and clash
starts in the home from the time of breakfast, so what remains to be said about
the rest of the day? Even in the
past time cycles of Satyug, Dwapar and Tretayug, conflicts were present in the
homes of prominent people. Even
people of purity, such as the Pandavas spent their entire life planning a battle
with the Kavravas. Shri
Ramchandraji, who was exiled in the forest, had nothing but conflict and
friction from the time Sita was abducted, to the point of the Ashvamegh Yagna.
Nevertheless, they all overcame all conflicts in their lives with spiritual knowledge, and that verily was
their special power.
The prime source of all conflicts in life is
misunderstanding. ‘You are the root cause of all your miseries’, this statement
of Dadashri divulges the very root cause of all miseries with such profoundness,
that no one could ever imagine.
If a person continues to paddle his boat of life without
deciding on his destination, how can he ever embark on the right course? He will get tired from paddling, give
up, and ultimately drown midway in the ocean. Therefore it is very necessary to
first decide the destination. Life
without a goal is synonymous to keeping an engine running idle. If you want the ultimate goal, then
liberation should be that goal. But, if you want something in between, and you
do not have happiness in your life, then at least make your life free of
conflicts.
Every morning you should sincerely pray five times, ‘I
do not want to hurt any living being to the slightest extent, with this mind,
speech, or body,’ and despite doing this, if you happen to hurt someone, then
you should sincerely repent and take a vow that you will not hurt anyone
again. By doing this, washing of
your mistakes, your life will truly become peaceful.
The bickering and quarrelling between parents and
children can only be resolved through understanding. Primarily it is the parents who must
understand. Excessive attachment
will result in a lot of friction and suffering, creating more problems for both
the parties involved. You have to
fulfill all of your worldly obligations, but by no means are you to perpetuate
the merry go round of attachment. Dadashri has clarified, and given us
tremendous inner understanding, of the interactions, between children and
parents. This knowledge has resulted in tremendous improvement in families’
lives.
Despite the love that exists between husband
and wife, there are also tremendous inner conflicts and overt quarrels between
the two. They are so trapped by
their need for security in each other, that despite their internal conflicts and
quarrels, they continue to live as husband and wife. Through a very informal and jovial
approach, Dadashri has given the total solutions by which the husband and wife
can attain ideal interactions with each other.
Dadashri
also gives us the keys to prevent conflicts between mother-in-law and
daughter-in-law, a master and a servant, a businessman and his customers, and
between business partners.
Many aspirants who seek true knowledge do not attain it
because they give importance only to the soul and disregard their worldly life.
This one-sided approach, renders their knowledge infertile. Real Gnanis, like Dadashri have traversed the
spiritual realms by maintaining a parallel between both the worldly life, as
well as the spiritual life. He has
given to thousands of seekers, the ultimate understanding of matters regarding
both the worldly and the spiritual life, and within them, instilled tremendous
awareness of the two.
In this short compilation we have put together examples
which have come through the power of Dadashri’s speech, whereby we can live an
ideal life. Seekers desirous
of more detailed and extensive solutions for their worldly life should do so
through the detailed and extensive compilation of Dada’s books. Books such as, ‘Generation Gap,’
‘Harmony in Marriage,’ ‘Speech in Worldly Interactions,’ ‘Money in Worldly
Interactions,’ etc., are books which undoubtedly will bring peace in one’s
life.
Dr. Niruben Amin
Life Without Conflict
[1] The Art
of Living
Life without
a goal
What is the goal of this life? Do you understand it?
Surely there has to be some goal for this life. A person is young at one time,
he grows old and eventually his body is carted away to the funeral pyre. The
name that was given to him is taken away at that time. They are quick to give
you a name the moment you are born to facilitate the worldly interactions and
dealings. This is just like naming characters in a play but once the play is
over, the name is no more. Just as the name ‘Brahtruhari’ is given to the king
in the drama, and then once the play is over the name is no more. Similarly you
are given a name to carry out your daily living and under this name you acquire
your wealth, your home, cars, and money etc. but upon your death it is all taken
away. People go through life and then they die. Therefore these two words, life
and death mean that every event is a passing circumstance. What is the goal of
life? Is it for personal enjoyment or for serving mankind? Is life for marriage
and taking care of your family? Marriage is mandatory and preordained. And for
some if it is not preordained, he would remain single for life. And does not one
get married even if he did not have the desire to? Is becoming famous the goal
of life? Women such as Sita, Lord
Ramas’s wife, made her mark in this world. But that fame remained here
only.
What does one carry forward at the time of leaving this
world? One’s inner entanglements!
Whether you want liberation (moksha) or not, at least
come here and obtain clarification of all your entanglements. You will find all
the solutions here. The lawyers will charge you a fee to solve your worldly
problems, whereas the solution you get here is priceless. You cannot put a price
on this solution. Life is full of entanglements. You are not the only one with
entanglements, the whole world has them. The world is a puzzle itself. It has
puzzled itself.
Religion comes after true understanding. First you have
to learn the art of living. One has to earn a certificate in how to be a parent,
before getting married. Life is like an engine, but it is meaningless to keep
putting gas in it and running it without getting any work out of it. There has
to be a goal of life. An engine will continue to run in vain but you have to get
some work out of it. For example you can attach a belt to the engine that will
get some work done. Unfortunately people live their entire life and achieve
nothing. Rather than accomplishments, they create entanglements, which carry
forward to their next life.
People’s lives have broken down. They have no clue about
the reason for human life birth. They are not aware that there is a purpose of
human life. What is the goal of the human life? The birth as a human being gives
one the ability to choose any life form in future. Or he can even attain
liberation from any further births. No one is aware of this specific purpose of
human birth and that is why one continues to wander life after life.
Who Will
Teach Us The Art of Living?
Today people are not aware of what is beneficial and
harmful in life. The ones, who do
have such awareness, have made such adjustments on the basis of their intellect
(buddhi). Such awareness is only worldly in nature because it is only for
attaining worldly happiness. In reality, even this is not correct. Correctness
comes only when one learns the art of living. One becomes a doctor or a lawyer
and yet he has not learnt anything about the art of living. One learns and
masters all kinds of arts except the art of living.
The art of living is learnt by approaching the one who
is living life his well. Ask such a person to teach you the art of living. Ask
him how to conduct your life; then you will learn that art. You need seek out
someone who has mastered this art. Unfortunately, no one seems to understand the
need to do so. They have completely discarded the importance of the art of
living, haven’t they? The one who is living around me will learn this art.
However, I cannot say that absolutely no one in this world knows this art.
If one has learnt the art of living completely, then
again the base of religion will be needed along with it. Religion is the base in
the art of living and it is a necessity. By religion here, I am referring to the
code of conduct as prescribed by God. One need not pursue the path of
liberation. You must understand the prescribed commands of whomever you have
faith in, be it Lord Mahavir, Lord Krishna or any other God. If you cannot
practice all of their directives at least practice some. Now if celibacy is one
of their directives and you get married, then that would be contradicting their
directives. In reality there is no
contradiction; all they are saying is that you should adjust to the commandments
to the best of your ability. Just
because you are not able practice two of their commandments, does that mean you
discard them all? What do you think? If you are able to abide by two of their
commandments, it is still more than enough.
It is equally important for people to receive a high
level of relative religion (vyavahaar dharma). This is the code of conduct for
life’s daily interactions. This is the art of living.You cannot learn this art
through penance, renunciation of the worldly life, fasting, etc. Fasting is for
problems of indigestion.
The real religion, the knowledge of the
Self (Atma dharma, nischaya dharma) will be attained by the one who enters this
world with prior spiritual development. In
the Akram path (the short-cut, step-less path to Self-realization), one attains
the Self through the grace of the Gnani Purush. The Gnani Purush has both, the capacity
to grace one with infinite knowledge and also infinite worldly wisdom. These
methods are so wonderful that they
abolish all kinds of miseries.
This Gnan is such that it repairs and corrects, and
people are such that they ruin and make wrong of everything that is right. They
do so because they have the wrong understanding; otherwise there is no suffering
in India whatsoever. All suffering
is due to the lack of right understanding.
People blame the government or they blame God for their suffering. Alas
people have only learnt to disgrace and defame others.
If a person accidentally ingests some poison, will that
poison spare him?
Questioner:
No it would not.
Dadashri: Why
not? He drank it accidentally. Since he did not drink it on purpose, will the
poison not let him escape?
Questioner: No,
he cannot escape the effect of the poison.
Dadashri: Now
who kills him? It is the poison that kills him, not God. God does not give
suffering or anything else, whatever is done, is done through the body complex
(pudgal). It is the body complex that gives pain and unhappiness. Is poison also
not a body complex? Do we not
experience its effect? People of the current time cycle are really the product
of their negative tendencies from their past lives. People of the previous time
cycle era used to make do without food and clothes, but the people of today,
despite having everything, create nothing but conflict. If a man has outstanding
taxes, he will fear the tax officer and in turn his wife will fear him because
he will behave badly with her because of the stress.
A person, who is not deprived of life’s four necessities
and yet creates conflict, is a fool. Does he or does he not get food on
time? It does not matter whether
the food is cooked in oil or not, but at least he gets his food on time, does he
not? Does he also not get his cup of tea on time; whether it is once or twice a
day, does he not at least get tea or something to drink? Does he not have
clothes to wear? Does he not have a roof above his head? He should be thankful
for all this, especially on cold winters days! So when people complain, in spite
of having all these basic four necessities, they should be locked up in prison!
In spite of having all the four necessities, if a person is still unhappy, then
he should get married. You cannot
persecute anyone for wanting to get married. Along with these four necessities,
marriage is also a necessary component.
You cannot say no to anyone who is of age and wants to get married. But
of those who get married, so many break their marriages, they wander alone, and
invite suffering. What kind of
people are these, who get married and then break up their marriages? When a
person does not possess the four or five basic necessities for living, it is
understood that he is suffering. These are not really sufferings but really
called difficulties. People however spend their entire day being miserable; all
day long they imagine and create mental projections of their so-called
miseries.
In reality it is not the material things that are
needed; people’s miseries stem purely from ignorance of the Self. Once I give
you the knowledge of the Self, all miseries disappear. After that all you have
to do is to know where you have not been able to remain within the five Agnas
that I have given you. That is all you have to do. Even your daily meals are
destined and will come at precisely the right time; that is the force of
scientific circumstantial evidences(vyavasthit). When the hair on your face grows even
without your desire, will the food not arrive without your desire? Your beard
will grow even though you do not want it to. Besides your basic necessities,
what more do you need? The more possessions you have, the more difficulties you
experience. Before becoming
Self-realized were you not getting lost in thoughtful fantasies? Do you
recognize fantasies?
Questioner: Yes, I
used to have many fantasies.
Dadashri:
These thoughts and imaginations are
like waves that continue to flow. God has referred to these fantasies as castles
built in the air. They are imaginary. People are so caught up in these
fantasies. If a person wants to slap someone, he will not do so directly. It would be much better if he did, but
instead he makes the inner subtle cardinal mistake of, ‘I will slap him one’ and
binds karma for another life. The
whole world is trapped by ghosts and haunts of imagination; ‘…if that happens,
then this will happen…’
The whole world has fallen in the accumulation of
unnecessary things. God has no objection to your asking for those things that
are necessary for life. One should decide his necessity in life. What are the
basic necessities for this body? Foremost is air, and this is available to the
body every second, free of cost.
Then it needs water and food. The fire of hunger can be doused with
simple food, but nowadays people want gourmet food. Clothing and shelter fall
under the secondary requirements.
Is the fulfillment of respect from others a necessity for your living?
People go around searching for respect and become completely veiled in the
illusion of life. Should you not learn all this from the Gnani
Purush?
If sugar water flowed from the taps for just one day,
the public would get fed up. Fed up? Why? No, I just want some plain water only,
he would say. If such events happen then he would realize the value of simple
things. People go around looking for Coca-Cola and Fanta. Why do not you figure
out what your necessities are? Would this body of yours complain if it got fresh
air to breath, pure water to drink and some simple food to eat at night? It
would not. Therefore decide on the basic necessities for the body. People
instead, look around for a specific
flavor of ice cream. Kabir Shahib
said:
Running after unnecessary things in itself is your real enemy. If you ask for water for a bath, it is a
necessity.
What are the necessities of this body? It requires pure
ghee and milk, but instead you stuff it with garbage. What good is all the junk
food for your body? What do people use to wash their hair? They use shampoo; it
looks just like water and soap.
These ‘sacks of intellect’ (Dada referring to people) have discovered
things that are not necessary and because of that one’s inner happiness has
diminished. The Lord had said that it is acceptable if there is a difference of
five to ten percent between one’s inner happiness and external happiness, but
here we have a difference of ninety percent and that will not do. This big a
difference is unnecessary and will eventually kill you. But you will have to suffer in the
process. Today so many necessities have been created.
People get worried if the shops were to close for an
hour. If you ask them about their restlessness, they will say they want some ice
cream and cigarettes. Is this not increasing one’s dependency on unnecessary
things? It is because people do not have internal happiness that they go
searching for it in material things. Whatever internal happiness there once was,
is now gone. Do not destroy your inner
happiness. People have squandered away this inner happiness, so how can it
express? Which is better, to live a natural life or a pretentious one? Youngsters imitate each other. Why
should we imitate others? We should be ourselves; people from other countries
should imitate us. But a few hippies came to our country and we now imitate
them. How can you consider this living?
People complain when there is a shortage of
refined sugar and brown sugar. Why
must you complain about food? Food is not to be counted as something to worry
about. As long as you have a stomach, you will manage to find food to eat. You
will find enough food to satisfy each tooth. What kind of teeth do you
have? There are teeth for peeling,
cutting and chewing; nature provides you everything. And how wonderful are your
eyes? Could you find such eyes even if you paid millions of dollars? No, you
could not. Some people complain even when they have a million dollars. They do
not realize the worth of all the precious things that nature has given them. A
person can be content if he simply learned to value just his eyes.
Your own teeth will let you down some day. You give this
body food and drink and yet it dies. Death is nature’s act of confiscation and
repossession. When you die, you will leave everything except the entanglements
(karmic causes) you created with family, clients, and business associates. God
has cautioned, ‘You mortals! Understand the reality. The possibility of another
human birth is extremely rare.”
The art of living cannot be found in the current era of
the time cycle. Leave alone the path to liberation. Should one not know how to
live life?
One Must Understand The Beneficial
Path
I have a constant awareness of worldly
interactions. No watch or radio company has made
money off me. I have never purchased such items. What is the use of such things?
They are meaningless. Of what use is a watch that caused problems and internal
unrest every time I looked at it? There are some
children who become very uncomfortable the moment they see their father. If they
are playing when they are supposed to be studying, they get nervous when their
father walks in; that is how it is with a watch. It unsettles you whenever you
look at it, so why not get rid of it? The watching of television and listening
to radios is direct and present madness.
Questioner:
There is a radio in every home.
Dadashri: That
is different. What happens where there is no awareness of the Self(Gnan)?
Attachment (moha) prevails. When you acquire what is not necessary and economize
on what is, it is all attachment.
It’s like this. It is like bringing home an
onion dipped in sugar syrup. You have to first decide whether you want to eat
the onion or the sugar icing. The onion should be eaten plain; otherwise there
is no point in eating it. This is all madness. People lack awareness and
direction in their decision-making. If a person sees another person eating an
onion dipped in sugar syrup, he will do the same. Onions are such that they
become useless when dipped in sugar.
People have no awareness; nothing but absolute ignorance prevails within
them. They go around thinking, ‘I
am something’. Who are we to tell
them otherwise? Even a simple shepherd has this belief of, ‘I am something,’
because he owns two cows and two bulls. He believes that he is their
superior. He can treat the animals
however he wants to. And even if
man did not have someone to control, he ends up being the boss and controller of
his wife. How can you deal with someone who has no discretion or awareness of
what is appropriate and what is not? Liberation aside, one should at least have
some awareness as to what is beneficial and what is harmful in daily living.
You are better off using a cotton bed sheet which you
have paid for rather than using a silk bed sheet which you have obtained without
payment. You may question the
benefit in doing such a thing. The
reason behind this is, if you use
things for which you do no have to pay, you become accustomed to them and then
when things no longer come free, you have difficulties. Old habits die hard. Everyone in
this world is using things without awareness. If we ask the prominent religious
heads to sleep on a luxurious mattress, they will find it very uncomfortable and
will not be able to sleep at night.
Some people become accustomed to sleeping on a mat and others on a
mattress. God does not accept
either the penance of the ascetic or the luxuries of the house holder person.
God says that only when things are done with
inner awareness, is it correct. If there is no awareness, and you develop a
habit, then it is meaningless.
First you must understand what is involved in each path
and then you must decide which one you want to follow. If you do not understand,
ask ‘Dada’, and he will tell you which paths are hazardous and which one is the
right one. You can then follow that
path with his blessings.
One man told me, ‘I do not understand anything. Please
give me your blessing.’ I placed my hand on his head and said, ‘Go. From today onwards open up a shop of
happiness. Get rid of the old
shop.’ What is a shop of happiness?
It is a place from where you can give happiness to others from the moment you
wake up in the morning. There should be no other kinds of dealings. He
understood this very well and started to practice this right away and became a
happy man. When you start a shop of happiness, happiness will come to you and to
those to whom you give. Would you have the need
to buy sweets from someone else’s shop when you own one yourself? You will be
able to eat them whenever you please. Similarly, if you open up your own shop of
happiness, you will not have any problems.
You can start any business
you want. If you cannot do it every day, do it at least once a week, on
Sundays. You will find customers for happiness. The law of vyavasthit is such
that it will arrange the customers for you. Vyavasthit will bring you customers
according to your determined plans.
People open up a business of what interests them. Those
who like sweets will open a sweet shop.
What do people like? Happiness! So why not open a shop of happiness so
that you can give happiness to others and at the same time have happiness at
home? Eat, drink and enjoy yourself.
Do not invite miseries by thinkng about the future. If a
person receives a letter saying Chandubhai is going to visit him, he will start
to have all kinds of thoughts, even if Chandubhai has not yet arrived.
This Dada is a Gnani Purush. How does his shop run
throughout the day? Because his shop is a shop of happiness, he showers
happiness even upon those who throw stones at him. The person who throws the
stone does not realize that what he is throwing at, is a shop of happiness and
that he should not do such a thing. He just aims blindly and throws
it.
Even when you decide that you do not want to give
unhappiness to anyone, will others not give you unhappiness? What will you do
then? I will show you a way to handle such situations. One day a week, close
your post office and do not accept any mail from anyone and do not send any
money orders to anyone either. If someone happens to send you one, keep it aside
and say, ‘The post office is closed today. I will deal with it tomorrow.’ My
post office is always closed.
Why do people behave well on Diwali day? It is because
they have a change in their belief for that day. They make a decision that they
want to spend the day being happy and so their belief changes and that is why
they are able to spend the day being happy. You are the boss, and therefore, you
have the power to make a similar arrangement too. If you decide that you do not want to be
rude to anyone, then you will not be able to be rude that day. You should
practice and maintain that rule once a week. Close the post office for one day and
relax. Let people complain that it is closed for the day.
Vengeance Is
Eliminated: Happiness Increases
Only the intent not hurt anyone in this world, is
considered true earning in this life. You shoud affirm such intention every
morning. Accept any abuse anyone gives you and do not try to analyze what you
may have done to merit the abuse. Accept it with the understanding that this
clears your karmic account. If you do not accept it and instead retaliate, then
that account will continue into your next life. Instead of settling the matter,
people retaliate with four times the force. God tells you to give to others what
you like to receive yourself. Do not give to others what you do not like to
receive. If someone tells you, ‘You are a good man,’ you should tell him, ‘Sir,
you too are a good man.’ If you speak in this manner, it is
acceptable.
This entire worldly life is meant for settling past
karmic accounts. Any situation of vengeance that you create will have to be
settled through your becoming a mother-in-law, a wife, a son, or even an ox. You
may pay twelve hundred dollars for an ox and it may die the very next day.
Endless life cycles have passed in revenge. Vengeance is the reason why you
wander life after life in this world. That is why your liberation is impeded.
Hindus create enmity in their own homes whereas Muslims quarrel outside of their
home; they never create enmity at home. They know that they cannot afford to
fight with the people whom they have to share the same room with at night. The
art of living is to not create enmity with anyone and to become free. That is
the very reason some renounce worldly life and run away from worldly problems.
But one cannot run away from the responsibilities in this manner. From the
day of birth, one’s life becomes a battle, which needs to be faced. Rather than
overcoming life’s battles, people fall prey to the luxuries and comforts of the
world.
Maintain equanimity when interacting with
those around you, whether it is inside or outside your home, the office, or in
the public. When at home you are served food that you do not like, accept it
gracefully. Do not aggravate anyone. Eat whatever food is served on your plate.
What is in front of you is an event and if you push it away, you will be the one
who will have to pay for it. Therefore, when I am served food I do not like, I
will take at least two bites. If you do not, you will start a conflict with food
itself and with the person who prepared and brought it to you. The food will
say, ‘What wrong have I done? I have come to you. Why are you are insulting me?
Eat what you can but do not insult me.’ Should you not honor the food? Someone
may bring a food item that I may not like, but I would honor it. Ordinarily it
will not come to you but when it does, you have to respect it. When you find
fault with the food that is served on your plate, will that increase or decrease
your happiness?
Questioner:
It will decrease.
Dadashri: Why deal with things in a way that
decreases your happiness? You should not conduct yourself or deal with
situations in a manner that will cause your happiness to decrease. I am often
served vegetables I do not like, but I will eat them and later I will say that
the vegetables were very good.
Questioner: Is
that not being deceitful? When you
say you like something when you actually do not, is that not pacifying the mind
unnecessarily?
Dadashri: It is
not unnecessarily pacifying the mind. The food will go down your throat easier
if you say you like it. When you say you do not like it, you will upset the
vegetables as well as the one who cooked them
and the children will pick up on your behavior; even your children will assess
your worthiness.
Even in my own home no one knows of my likes
and dislikes. Is cooking really under the control of the one who is cooking? The
food that ends up on the plate is in accordance with the laws of vyavasthit. It
is exact. Therefore one should not meddle with it.
So Much
Luxury And Yet No
Enjoyment
Eating in hotels and restaurants can lead to dysentery.
When you eat in hotels and restaurants, its effects gradually accumulate inside
your body and when the time comes, it will lead to dysentery. The results of any
stomach pain will manifest much later. Having experienced this personally, I
used to tell everyone not to eat in hotels. I had once gone to a sweet shop and
was watching the cook. I saw all
kinds of dirt and sweat from the cook fall in the sweet he was making. Nowadays even the food made at home is
not hygienic, is it? Hands are not washed when one is binding the dough; there
is dirt under the nails. Nowadays they do not cut the nails, do they? Many women
who come here have long nails. I
ask them if there is some benefit for them in keeping their nails long. I tell
them to keep their nails long, if there is some benefit in doing so, like doing
art work. Then they realize there is nothing to be gained from it and agree to
trim them. People do not have any sense. They grow their nails and walk around
with headphones on their ears. They do not know where their happiness lies. Do
they even know about their own Self? All they know is what the world has taught
them.
How much prosperity and splendor there is out there to
enjoy! You get to travel in the double-decker buses worth hundred thousand
rupees for only half a rupee! What comfortable seats! You do not have such seats
even in your home. Now people have so much merit karma (punya) but they do not
know how to enjoy it, otherwise how can a person enjoy a hundred thousand rupee
bus in India? When you travel by car, do you get covered with dust? No, because
we do not have dirt roads anymore. Your feet do not get dirty. In the past we had dirt roads and even
the kings would come home with dirty feet. People of today have more luxuries
than the kings of the past and yet they do not know how to enjoy the luxuries,
do they? They may be sitting in a bus but internally they are
restless.
Truly there is no such
thing as suffering and whatever suffering there is, is the result of
misunderstanding. How many living beings are there in this world? There are so
many, an infinite number of living things but none complain, ‘We do not have
enough’, whereas the foolish human beings complain constantly. Has any creature
living in the ocean died of hunger? Have you seen any crows die from hunger? No,
they only die when they accidentally bump into things or when their life span
comes to an end. Have you ever seen a crow shriveled up from hunger? Do dogs
ever have to take sleeping pills? How peacefully they go to sleep! It is only
the foolish human beings that have to take twenty pills to fall asleep. Sleep is
a natural gift; there is happiness in sleep. Doctors prescribe pills to sedate
people. Being sedated is like
becoming intoxicated with alcohol. Have you ever seen a crow with high blood
pressure? It is only the wretched human beings who are miserable and they are
the only ones who need colleges to learn things.
Who teaches the birds to
build beautiful nests? Learning to live life comes automatically. Yes, effort
(purusharth) is required for Self-realization, but you do not have to do
anything to carryout your daily living. Only humans are over-wise. Do birds and
animals not have women and children? Do they have to get them married? Only
humans feel the need to have a wife and children; only the humans are
preoccupied with accumulating wealth and getting their children married. You
pitiful ones! Why do not you work towards Self-realization instead? There is
nothing else worth working for. Whatever you have done so far is worth nothing
but crying over in sorrow. Who teaches the young children to steal? It is all in
a seed (brought with them from their past life). Why is every leaf of a Neem
tree so bitter?
It is because
bitterness exists in the seed of the Neem tree. Only human beings are so
unhappy, but they are not to be
blamed. It was only up until the
fourth era of the current time cycle, that there was any happiness. We are now
in the fifth era of the time cycle, in which equanimity is unattainable even
when one undergoes tremendous suffering.
Therefore it is a mistake to look for happiness and harmony in this era
of the time cycle.
[2] Total
Benevolence
Two Most Important
Activities in Life
What is the purpose of the
human life? It is to free yourself completely from the bondage of rebirths. It
is to become Absolute, the pure Self. But if you have not acquired the knowledge
of the pure Self, then live your life for others. It is only for these two tasks
that one gets a birth in India. Does anyone follow these two goals? Instead
people have discovered an art of going from a human form into the animal form by
adulteration and corruption!
Benevolence Creates Merit
Karma
Until you achieve
liberation, only your merit karma (punya) works as your friend and your demerit
karma (paap) works as your enemy. Now you have to decide whether you want a
friend or a foe and then ask me how you can encounter a circumstance of a friend
or a foe. If someone likes the foe of demerit karma, then I will tell him that
he can do whatever he pleases, he can live at the expense of others and go
wherever he wants and that he can worry about the consequences later. If however
he wants a friend in merit karma, then I will tell him to learn from the tree.
Do the trees enjoy their own fruits? Does a rosebush eat its own flowers? Not
even a little? Maybe when we are
not looking? Do they eat their own
fruits?
Questioner:
No.
Dadashri: These trees are here to
serve and give fruits to the humans. Now how do the trees benefit from that?
They will progress into a higher life form. The human beings will also progress
higher through their help. For example, if you eat a mango, what does the mango
tree lose and what do you gain from it? You get pleasure from eating the mango.
And because of your happiness there is an improvement in your tendencies and as
a result you acquire say, a spiritual earning equivalent to a hundred merit
points. From these one hundred points, five percent will go to the mango tree
for the fruit it gave you and the remaining ninety-five will remain with you for
your progress. Therefore when you
share with others, they come to a higher level and at the same time you do not
fall. You too will progress to a higher level. So the trees are really telling
you to enjoy all that is theirs.
So if you like this
worldly life, if you desire worldly things and can afford to live in this world,
practice benevolence through yoga and upyoga. Yoga is that done through the
mind, body and speech. Upayoga is
that done through the mind, intellect and chit. If you do not use them for
others, then use them for those at home. Why does a female dog receive food to
eat? She gets it because she takes care of her puppy, in whom God resides. The
world functions on this very basis. Where do the trees get their nourishment? Do
the trees have to make an effort? They never become emotional. Do they ever
become emotional? They never feel like going a mile to the river for a drink of
water!
Obliging Others Is Helping
Yourself
Questioner: What kinds of actions or
deeds are considered good in the world? Can they be
defined?
Dadashri: Yes. The actions of the
trees are absolutely good actions, but the trees do not have a sense of
doer-ship. They have life in them; they give their fruits to others. You should
do the same. You will keep receiving your fruits: fruits for your mind, your
body and your speech. You will keep receiving things as long as you keep giving
to others free of charge. You will not experience any difficulties in acquiring
any of life’s necessities. But if you enjoy the fruits of your good fortune
yourself, then you will face difficulties. What will the owner of the mango tree
do if the tree were to eat its own fruit? Would he not chop it down? Similarly
people eat their own fruits. Not only that, they also charge a fee for it. They
will charge twenty-two rupees to simply fill out a petition. Look what has
happened to the country where legal advice used to be free. In fact that free
advice was given over a free meal. If there was a dispute in a village, the
wealthy businessman of the village would act as the arbitrator. He would bring the two parties together
and make them come to some kind of a settlement. If there was a debt to be satisfied, he
would arrange for part of the money to be paid off in cash and make arrangements
for the remaining balance to be paid off in installments. Then all three of them
would sit down and have a meal together. After that they go their separate ways.
Now, can such lawyers be found today? Therefore understand the times and act
accordingly. If you use your life only for your own benefit, then the time of
death will be difficult. You will not be able to leave this world and your
belongings in equanimity.
If you spend your life for
the benefit of others, you will not experience any difficulties and all your wishes will
be fulfilled. But if you go around
chasing after things, none of your wishes will be fulfilled; that approach in
life will not let you sleep peacefully. The businessmen today are not able to
sleep for days at a time because they have done nothing but cheat and rob
people.
Questioner: People who want to help
others give certain directions, but these people do not accept or listen to
them. What can we do about that?
Dadashri: If a benevolent person
looks for the understanding of the recipient, then he becomes a lawyer. So do not look for understanding from
those you seek to help. A mango tree gives its fruits to others but how many
mangos does it eat itself?
Questioner: None at all.
Dadashri: Then who are the mangoes
for?
Questioner: They are for
others.
Dadashri: Yes, does the tree look
at whether the person eating its fruit is a good man or a crook? The mango is
there for whoever takes it. True benevolent living is the life lived by the
trees.
Questioner: But people accuse the
very people who help them. Do we still have to continue helping
them?
Dadashri: Yes that is the very
thing worth noting. Benevolence towards ingratitude is true benevolence, but
where can people acquire such an understanding? If a person understands this
much, he is truly blessed. Benevolence is a very high state and it is the
ultimate purpose of the human life. And in India the second aim of a human life
is to achieve liberation from the cycles of birth and
death.
Questioner: Is there a co-existence
of the ego and benevolence?
Dadashri: The ego of the person
who practices benevolence is always within the norm; that ego is always
appropriate. The ego of the person who charges a fee for helping others will
become very inflated. The ego in such a person is so inflated that he really
cannot afford to have it inflated any more.
The law of nature is such
that it will take care of those who give their fruits to others. This is the
hidden science. This benevolence is relative religion, then comes real religion
which is the religion of the Soul (Atma dharma). The essence of a human life is to use
your mind, body and speech for the good of others.
[3]
There Is No
Suffering Where There Is The Right Belief
Questioner:
Dada, tell us something about sufffering. Where does it come
from?
Dadashri: If
you are the Self, then there is no suffering.If you are ‘Chandulal’ (the
relative self) then there is suffering. If you are the Self then there is no
unhappiness, on the contrary all the suffering will dissolve. ‘I am Chandulal,’
is a wrong belief, ‘This is my wife, this is my mother, my father, my uncle,’
are all beliefs and these wrong beliefs give rise to suffering. If the wrong
belief goes away and the right belief arises, then there is no suffering. People
like you whose basic needs are taken care of should experience no suffering. All
suffering is the result of wrong beliefs and
misunderstanding.
Definition Of
Suffering
True unhappiness is when you are hungry and you do not
get any food to eat for hours on end; it is when you do not get any water to
drink when you are thirsty. Would you also not be miserable if you were
desperate and were not allowed to go to the toilet? Such miseries can be
considered true suffering.
Questioner:
That is all fine but if you look at the world, nine people out of ten are
suffering.
Dadashri: Not
nine out of ten but possibly only two out of every thousand are somewhat happy.
The rest all continue to suffer from inner turmoil day and night. If you roast
sweet potatoes, how many sides will they roast from?
Questioner: How
can one take advantage of this constant suffering?
Dadashri: If
you analyse the nature of suffering, then it will not feel like suffering. If
you do precise and exact pratikraman (the process of recall, apology and
resolution never to repeat an error) for the suffering, it will not feel like
suffering anymore. People have haphazardly labeled
everything as suffering without thinking or analyzing it. For example, you have
a very old set of sofas and your friend who never had any just bought a new set.
When your wife sees them, she comes home and tells you how nice your friend’s
sofas look and complains that the ones you have at home have become old. Now the
suffering has arrived in the home. There was no problem until she saw your
friend’s sofa but the moment she set eyes on them she brought the suffering with
her.
If your friend builds a bungalow and you do not have a
bungalow and your wife sees it, she will come home telling you how beautiful
your friend’s new bungalow is and that you never build any such thing. That is
suffering. These are all
self-created.
If I were a judge, I would first make
everyone happy before I sentenced the prisoner. If I had to sentence someone for his
crime, I would tell him that it would not be possible for me to sentence him for
less than five years. Then if his attorney pleaded for a lesser sentence, I
would gradually negotiate down the sentence from four years to three years to
two years and finally down to only six months. This way he would go to prison
feeling happy that he got away with having to serve only six months. Therefore
suffering is all a matter of beliefs. If I were to say six months from the
start, he would find it too long.
Maintain
Equanimity When Settling Karmik Accounts
You have all the happiness of a king but what can be
done do if you do not know how to enjoy it? It’s like putting sand in the
Basmati rice you paid a lot of money for. If suffering besieges you, you should say to it, ‘Why have you
come here? I am Dada’s mahatma. You are not to come here, go somewhere else. You
have lost your way.’ It will go away when you say this. If suffering comes your
way, do you have to let it in? You
have to tell it to leave. You will
not violate your practice of ahimsa by doing so. If you insult suffering and
unhappiness, it will go away, but you are too kind to them. You do not have to
take your practice of non-violence that far.
Questioner:
Will suffering not leave through persuasion?
Dadashri: No.
You cannot pacify it or persuade it. You have to be stern with it. If you try to
pacify it, it will oppose you even more and continue to visit
you.
‘Varas aho Mahavirana, shurvirata
relavajo,
Kayar bano na koi di, kashto sada
kampavajo’
‘You are the glorious heirs of Lord Mahavir, let courage
flow from you all,
Never allow even a trace of cowardice, and let
difficulties tremble in your presence.’
Any suffering or
difficulty that crosses your path will tremble at the sight of you and will
wonder how it managed to get trapped in your home. These difficulties do not own you. You
are their master.
How can you be Dada’s
mahatma if difficulties do not tremble in your presence? You can tell the
difficulties, ‘Why did only two of you come? Why did five of you not come? I want to pay you all off.’ What does
our Gnan say? It says that the person who insults you does not know You (the
Self). You should tell your relative self, ‘You must have made a mistake. That is why he insulted you. So now remain calm and do not get so
excited!” If you do this, your
karmic debt will be paid off. Instead when people have to face difficulties they
because so distraught, they say, ‘I am dead.’ We all know you only die once but
these foolish people will say, ‘I am dead’ so many times! Can someone who is dead still be
living? People do not have to say
they are dead all their life. You
just have to know what true suffering is.
Why does this child laugh
and not cry when I smack him several times? And why does he cry when you do so him
just once? Is it because he feels hurt from the pain? No, he does not cry from
the pain, he cries because he feels insulted.
How can you call this
suffering? It is suffering when you do not get food to eat or when you do not
get to use the toilet. The local authorities have made toilets available in
every home. Otherwise in the old days you had to carry some water in a pot into
the forest to relieve yourself. Now you have bathrooms with toilets in your own
bedrooms! Even the landlords and the mighty rulers of the past did not enjoy
such facilities. They too had to go to the forest. Even they had to run to the
forest when they had diarrhea! People unnecessarily go around complaining about
trivial things in life. Why are they complaining
unnecessarily?
The suffering is caused by
wrong understanding. There is no
such thing as suffering if right understanding is applied. If there is a little
infection in your foot, you have to look around to see if anyone else has the
same kind of suffering. If you look
in a hospital you will realize what suffering is, while here with a little
infection in your foot you suffer unnecessarily. You have to investigate all
this, do not you? What happens if you suffer without looking into all the
facts? How can there be any
suffering for people who have so much merit karmas like you? You are born in a
family of merit karmas, where you get your meal with very little
effort.
Questioner: Each person feels his
suffering is greater than others.
Dadashri: It is a self-created
suffering so you can make it as large as you want to. You can make it forty
times larger if you want.
A Worthy
Project
Humans do not know how to
live life; they have lost the key to living. The key was completely lost but it
is a little bit better now. After the British rule, people have relaxed their
rigid ways and therefore do not
meddle in other people’s business. Before, they did nothing but
meddle.
These people continue to
suffer unnecessarily. There is no superior being over you in this world. You are
absolutely independent. Even your project or mission in life is independent, but you
should go about it in such a manner that you hurt no living being to the
slightest degree. Make your project of
life as big as this world.
Questioner: Is it possible to do
so?
Dadashri: Yes. Mine is very big. I live with the
constant awareness that no living being should be hurt by
me.
Questioner: But it is not possible
for others to be so, is it?
Dadashri: It is not possible, but
that does not mean you carry out your project by hurting
others.
Should there not be some
discipline to carry out your mission in a manner that causes the least
hurt. I am not asking you to do the
impossible.
You Only Have To Have the
Inner Intent
Questioner: If there is no such
thing as suffering,
then how can
anyone feel hurt by our actions?
Dadashri: It is because that
person does not have the right understanding. The suffering that he experiences is
because he believes he is suffering.
If you were to slap me I would not be affected. If you were to slap
anyone else, he would suffer. His wrong belief (I am Chandulal)
remains.
You also have to look at
things from the perspective of how you would feel if someone were to slap you.
In all situations, keep in mind how you would feel if you were the one on the
receiving end.
If you have borrowed ten
thousand rupees from someone and your financial circumstances get worse, a
thought may cross your mind, ‘What is the big deal if I do not pay him back?’ At
that time you should ask yourself, ‘How would I feel if someone borrowed money
from me and did not pay me back?’ You must maintain such impartial just
intellect. Within, your awareness should be,’ I would feel very hurt if it were
to happen to me, similarly he would feel hurt too and therefore I do want to pay
him back.’ If your intention is such, you will be able to pay him back.
Questioner:
The mind
will say that this guy is a millionaire and what use is ten thousand for him
anyway? He will not be adversely affected it if we do not return
it.
Dadashri: You may feel he will not
be put in any difficulty but it is not so. That millionaire counts his rupees
when he has to spend it on his son. Have you ever seen money lying around in a
millionaire’s home? Money is as dear as life to everyone.
Our intention should be
that no being in this world should be hurt through our mind, body, or
speech.
Questioner: Is it not difficult for
an ordinary human being to be able to do
that?
Dadashri: I am not asking you to
start becoming that way right away. All I am telling you is that you need to
have a firm internal intent that you do not want to hurt anyone. That inner intent is your
determination.
[4] Family
Organization
What Kind Of A Life Is
This?
Do you have the knowledge
of family organization? In India we lack the knowledge of how to organize the
family. In the foreign countries they do not have the understanding of what it
takes to maintain a family. In their culture when their children turn twenty,
the parents will ask them to move out of their homes and live on their own, so
that the ‘love-bird parents’ can live by themselves. They say it like it is. If the husband
and wife do not get along, they will resort to a divorce. Where are such talks of divorce in our
culture? We have to live together all the time. We fight with each other and yet
we live together.
This is not the way to
live life. It is not considered family life. If you ask our old ladies how to
live life, they will tell you, ‘Eat and drink in peace, why do you rush through
your meals?’ First you must ascertain your necessities and then all the rest is
unnecessary. You must also realize
that these unnecessary thngs that confuse people and cause them to have to take
sleeping pills in order to fall asleep.
Why do conflicts arise in
a home? Should you not understand why conflicts arise with your children? Your
son talks back to you, you ask the doctor for some guidance. But what can he do?
His own wife talks back to him.
People conduct all kinds
of surveys. They will have surveys
on cotton, on cloves, on this, or that, but no one has done a survey of what is
going on within all humans.
Does your fragrance come
through at home?
Questioner: What do you mean by
fragrance?
Dadashri: Do you keep everyone
happy at home? You do not have quarrels at home, do you?