BRAHMACHARYA
Celibacy Attained With Understanding
EDITORIAL
This book is a compilation of satsang with Gnani
Purush Dadashri on the major topic of sexuality and all its overt and subtle
aspects. The nature of sexuality, its clear and present life dangers, as well
as potential dangers for the lives to come are described by the Gnani and then
the beneficial effects of brahmacharya are shown with scientific exactness.
Precise understanding, of practical attainment of brahmacharya, gained by
eradicating the root cause of sexuality, is given to the seeker. Taking into
deep consideration the varying levels of spiritual understanding of the seeker,
this abridged version of the two major volumes on brahmacharya, has been edited
to provide the complete spectrum of the ways to attain total brahmacharya with
understanding.
In Part One, Section
One: Contains the explosively powerful
words of the Gnani Purush, that will dissipate all elements of sexuality and
result in tremendous dispassion towards sex. The world, which is immersed in
the illusion of false enjoyment of sex, is awakened to the reality of the
poison that it truly is. Then, what is the right approach to bliss and how to
attain it are provided.
In Part One Section Two:
Having become convinced of the benefits of brahmacharya and truly inspired by
this discussion, the aspirant then dares to scale the mountain of brahmacharya
and expresses his willingness to do so. Having met the Gnai Purush and with his
continued nearness and grace, he takes the firm vow to be free from all
elements of sexuality through the mind, speech and the body. The Gnani Purush
then unfolds for him and remains there for him on this mighty path of
brahmacharya filled with all kinds of temptations, pitfalls and obstructions.
The Gnani remains with him until the attainment of total brahmacharya.
It is a wonder to see people
jump willingly into the very cesspool
of sexuality life after life, from which they have come out soiled and stinking, after great
difficulties! These people are really stuck in the refuse and are yearning for
escape but cannot find the way out. For these who really want a release from
this suffering, this unique new vision of the Gnani Purush becomes the
exclusive and guaranteed key to total liberation.
From all joint interactions
of the thoughts, speech and acts of sexuality the mahatma followers of Akram
Vignan experience a constant separation and bliss that is the Self. This is the
living experience of the married mahatmas who have to interact sexually as part
of their unfolding karma, while holding still their desire to rise in
brahmacharya. This means that the married state is not an obstruction to
brahmacharya!! This is taken into details in Part Two of Section One of this
book.
The practical applied brahmacharya
of the married state, the awareness of the Self in it, the line of demarcation
between the effect of karma and the independent effort of the awakened Self,
the vigilance against the horrors of illicit sex, the profuse inner remorse for
any sexual impulses, the precise and continuous opposition towards any form of
sexuality, the constant pratikramans towards any errors of subtle nature etc
are discussed here. Furthermore, very subtle scientific explanations that are
relevant in the matter of gross sexuality versus the subtlest nature of the
Self, the enjoyer of sex versus the total detached state of the Self, the real
doer of the faults versus the need to become faultless in matters of worldly
sex are all discussed with great clarity so that there is no room for
misapplication of these lofty principles for any loopholes and wanton freedom
in sex.
What lofty heights of vision
the Gnani Purush, in the great freedom of the fully enlightened Self, who moves
about unbound by any circumstance of the material world, unveils for us all!!
He initiates the cause brahmacharya in the light of this absolute vision and
experiential bliss for all who come to him seeking freedom from the clutches of
sexuality and its misery.
The uninterrupted pure
brahmacharya through the medium of thoughts, speech and acts that is the exact
prerequisite for final liberation, is that which stills one eternally in the
supreme bliss of the Self, uprooting all elements of worldly life interactions.
In this era of the Kaliyug this amazing feat is indeed possible through ‘Akram
Vignan’! The one who preserves such brahmacharya with the help of Akram Vignan
has a guarantee of liberation in one more lifetime.
In this environment rampant
with profuse sexuality and its vibrations all around the Gnani Purush’s
extraordinary and effective speech demolishes all elements of sexuality and
illusion of the seeker and makes him still in brahmacharya with understanding.
The reader is requested to use these great words of the Gnani with deference and
care so that the desired aim is attained.
Dr. Niruben Amin.
BRAHMACHARYA
Celibacy Attained With Understanding
PART ONE
Section One
The Real Nature Of Sexuality As Seen By The Gnani Purush
[1] The Detailed Analysis Of
Sexuality
Dadashri: Yes men and women happen to be part of nature. The account and
result of brahmacharya in this life is also a natural account. This world is the fruit of man’s deep inner
intent. This intent is laid down as a seed in the past life and the fruits come
forth in this life. If you had the deep inner intent for brahmacharya in your
past life, then brahmacharya will unfold in this life. The world is your own
projection.
Questioner: For what benefits should
one practice brahmacharya?
Dadashri: If you get hurt here on this arm and you start bleeding, why do
you do everything to stop the bleeding? What is the benefit?
Questioner: We do not bleed excessively.
Dadashri: What would happen if you do
bleed excessively?
Questioner: The body will become weak.
Dadashri: So it is with abrahmacharya
(incontinence of sexual impulses), the body becomes weak. All the diseases in
the body are due to abrahmacharya. Yogurt is not the end product of milk. Yogurt is converted to cream, which is
finally converted to butter. Similarly, all that you eat and drink, the air you
breathe, results in a final product, which is the essence of the body.
Brahmacharya is the ultimate essence of this complex of intake and output, this
living body.
There are two things in this
world that one should not waste. One is money and the other is semen. All the money
in this world is going down the drain. It should not be used for oneself. Money
should not be misused and one should practice brahmacharya as much as possible.
The ultimate extract of our nourishment is semen and it is dissipated and lost
in sex. There are certain nerves in the body that help preserve semen and this
in turn protects the body. Therefore, brahmacharya should be preserved as much
as possible.
Questioner: But, I still do not
understand why one should practice brahmacharya?
Dadashri: I am not trying to force
you into doing anything. You should be able to understand by yourself. It is a
different matter if you cannot practice brahmacharya, but you should never
oppose brahmacharya. Brahmacharya is the
best tool for health and spiritual progress.
Let go of this talk of
brahmacharya. Do not practice brahmacharya. I am not of the opinion that you
have to practice brahmacharya. I do tell people to get married. I do not have
any objection to people getting married.
Those who desire the
pleasures of worldly life and have a desire for material things, they should
get married and those who do not like worldly pleasures and are seeking eternal
happiness, should not get married.
Questioner: Is it true that the married
people attain real knowledge, atmagnan later than those who are not yet
married?
Dadashri: If a married couple takes a
vow of brahmacharya, they will understand the bliss of the Self completely.
Otherwise, they cannot understand whether their happiness comes from sexual
gratification or from the pure Soul.
Those, who are under the vow of brahmacharya, experience eternal bliss
of the Self within. Their mind and body both remain healthy.
Questioner: Then, is the state of the
Self the same for the one who is married
and the one practicing brahmacharya?
Dadashri: The person who is under the
vow of brahmacharya will never fall, no matter how bad the difficulties. That
is called safe side.
Brahmacharya is the king of the body. A person
practicing brahmacharya has a wonderful mind. Brahmacharya is the extract of
the entire living body.
Questioner: This extract of the body,
the vitality, does not go to waste does it?
Dadashri: No. The vitality may
dissipate. It does become useless in
sex does it not? That extract is a very different matter. Lord Mahavir had the
extract of brahmacharya for forty-two years.
Vitality is the ultimate extract of all the extracts from the food we
eat. If this extract is properly preserved, one can quickly attain the Self.
One will be protected from the pains of the world and all bodily ailments.
There will be no suffering of any kind.
Questioner: Does
brahmacharya not come under the non-Self?
Dadashri: Yes, but it is the final
balance and extract of the living body.
Questioner: Then how does the extract
of the non-Self, the living body, help the Self?
Dadashri: The Self will only be
attained through the attainment of the extract of the living body, the
non-Self. This is always the case in the traditional spiritual Kramic path.
Without this there is no progress and one will have difficulty in remembering
and saying simple sentences of scriptures. Because the Gnan that I have given
you is Akram (direct, step-less), this does not matter.
Questioner: Does this mean that there
is a connection between brahmacharya and the experience of the Self?
Dadashri: Of course there is. That is the main point. With brahmacharya
you can achieve whatever you want to. With brahmacharya your worldly aims will
be accomplished. You will be able to follow your vows and commitments. There is
ease of further progress in all directions. The extract of non-Self,
brahmacharya is a big thing. If this is present it opens the Self.
No one has provided a real
understanding on the subject sex to anybody. That is because people themselves
are involved in sexuality. The saints and sages in the olden days were very
sincere and that is why they could talk and make people understand about it.
That sex is poison is not
known. If they did know that sex is poison, they would stay away from it.
Therefore the Lord says that the fruit of knowledge of the Self is continuity.
What is the fruit of worldly knowledge? To stop. One has not known the danger
of sex and therefore he does not stop.
If there is anything to fear, it is the fear of
sexuality. There is no other reason, in this world, where fear is necessary.
Therefore, beware of sex, just like you would be with snakes, scorpions or a
tiger.
After earning merit karmas
over countless lives, one attains birth in a family with good culture and high
moral standing. But all this is lost in
pursuit of sex and money.
So many people ask me, ‘What
is there in this sex that my whole body feels like death after experiencing the
pleasure of sex, my mind dies and my speech dies?’ I tell them that all these
people indulging in sexuality are already dead, but because you have not
awakened to this fact, the same condition occurs again and again. Otherwise if
ever brahmacharya is preserved, each human being has so much energy. The
knowledge of the Self is the ultimate essence of time (samayasaar). This is
real awareness that increases the experience of the Self. And brahmacharya is
the essence of the living body.
The presence of brahmacharya
in the mind, the body and the
speech results in wonderful power of mind, wonderful power of body and wonderful power
of the speech. What type of sexuality existed in the times of Lord Mahavir? The
sex was limited to having one to two children. The Lord knew that this
interaction would become bad in this day and age, so he had to add the fifth
vow of brahmacharya.
It is a real wonder that
humans are stuck in the terrible filth of exploitation of the five senses. It is horrible heap of filth. The world continues to move in this filth, because
people do not understand this. If one gives a moment’s thought to this, then
one would understand that this truly is a heap of filth. It is nothing but
absolute filth. But people do not think at all. Why are human beings stuck in
such dirt? It is because they cannot find a cleaner place(real happiness)
anywhere else, therefore they lie in this filth.
Questioner: So, isn’t this a matter of
ignorance of this filth?
Dadashri: Yes, it is ignorance and
that is why he remains stuck in this filth. If one tries to, he can understand. He does not
even try to understand this.
There are objects in this
world that do not trap you into an inescapable trap of enjoyment. These things
are all that one consumes for the needs of this body, like food items and
water. This is not vishaya. These objects do not harm you, because they do not
make you involved with them to the exclusion of everything else. Vishaya in
general means that which holds your attention. Here we are talking about that
which will grab you and take you into life after life. When is anything
considered a vishaya? It is considered a vishaya if you become greedy or
infatuated with it. Otherwise it is not a vishaya. Therefore, everything you
see in this world is not vishaya but if you become greedy or obsessed with it
then it is called vishaya. No vishaya in this world touches me in any way.
A spider spins a web and
then it gets entangled in its own web. Similarly you, yourself have created
this web of entanglement in worldly life. You had asked for it in your previous
life. In the receptacle of intellect which you have brought forth in this life,
you filled out a tender, a proposal for one wife, two to three rooms, one son,
one daughter and a job. But along with the wife, you also received a
mother-in-law, father-in-law, uncle-in-law, wife’s brother and sister, etc.
What a trap! Had you known about this huge trap, you would have not asked for
it. You only asked for a wife, then why all this? Nature says it cannot provide
just a wife. It also has to give you uncle-in-law, aunt-in-law etc. along with
her. You will not have fun without them, the bigger the clan, the greater is
the fun (!).
Now tell me, what do you
want in the worldly life?
Questioner: I do not want to get
married, ever.
Dadashri: This body is full of
difficulties, is it not? How do you feel about this body when you have a
stomachache? What would happen if you start trading with someone else’s body?
Wouldn’t there be more difficulties? I addition there are two to four children
too. It may be okay if there is only a wife to deal with, as she may cooperate,
but what would happen if there were four children came along, in addition? You
will have endless difficulties.
Before leaving the womb, you
experience so many terrible suffering within the womb and yet when you grow up,
you go back to the womb in the sexual act. Such is the way of this world. No
one has taught you the real thing. Even parents tell you to get married. And
that is parent’s duty, is it not? But, no one gives the right advice about the
pain and suffering involved in married life.
Marriage is a severe
bondage. One’s situation is like that of a water buffalo trapped in a cage. It
is best not to get trapped in such a situation. And those who are already
trapped should try to get out. The rest should escape after tasting its fruits.
A gentleman once told me
that he misses his wife when he is at work. You fool! Would you lick pus off
her hand, if she developed an abscess? Then, why are you so lost by a woman?
This whole body is full of pus. Have you ever thought about what this body is
made of? The amount of love a hog has for a sow is greater than the amount of
love a man has for his wife. Can you call this love? This is nothing but
beastliness. True love is that which never increases or decreases. All this is nothing but infatuation.
The sexual act gratification is nothing but eating
refuse. It is refuse of the whole world. How can this be food for the Soul? The
Self has no hunger, and no need for any external thing. It is absolutely
independent.
Whole world is engrossed in
an illusionary enjoyment. It is not a real. Yet people believe it to be so. If
sexual pleasure was to be analyzed it would lead to severe nausea.
This body turns into ash,
and then a new body is formed from the atoms of this same ash. This is the
result of ashes from endless lives of the past. It is nothing but refuse. And
sex here is the refuse of all refuse. It is the same old ash and the same old
atoms merging together. Even cooking utensils once washed, will look cleaner
the next day. But what if you ate in the same utensils over and over without
cleaning them? Is that not eating
filth?
Say if you ate some
delicious liquid pudding, how would it look if it were vomited out? Would it
look pleasing enough for you to hold it in your hand? Even if the bowl was nice
and clean and the pudding was delicious when you ate it. But if it were
vomited, no matter what happens, you would not eat that vomit. And yet this
other vomited stuff is taken in again. This is the illusion.
Amongst the objects of the
five senses, that of the tongue is the only correct and acceptable one. All
others fool you. This is the only acceptable indulgence, the one of the taste
of food. What would a good quality
alphonso mango taste like? Within the illusionary world this one of taste, is
the one pure vishaya.
Vishaya, sexual process is an excretion. All that is
discharged from the nose, ears, mouth etc. is all an excretion. Even the discharge of semen is an excretion,
an end result, but one cannot remain without being involved totally in it, and
it will not leave without one becoming involved in it at the time.
I am amazed at how an intelligent man finds
gratification in sex. When you analyze sex, it is like scratching an eczematous
lesion. I often wonder, is this all we have done in endless lifecycles? All the
things that we do not like are in sex. It is full of stench. Eyes do not like
to see. Nose does not like the smell it.
Have you ever smelt it? You should have. Then you would lose all
passions. The ears do not like it either. Only the skin likes it.
Sex has not resulted from an
intellectual game and effort. It is simply a distortion of the mind.
I see so much filth and
impurity in sex, that I never have any thoughts about it. I have seen so much
in this that I can see through the contents and cross sections of the person as
a whole.
Man has the wrong belief of pleasure existing in
sex. Now, if you experience greater happiness and pleasure in something other
than sex, then you would not seek pleasure in sex. There is no happiness in sex
but there is no other option for the humans in worldly interactions. Otherwise
who would knowingly open the lid of a gutter? If there were happiness in sex,
Chakravatis (kings of continents) with so many queens, would not have set out
in search of real happiness. With Gnan, Self-realization you attain eternal
bliss. Yet, after this Gnan, sexual impulses do not leave you immediately. They
leave gradually. Still one must think about how filthy and dangerous sexual
involvement is.
It is the disease of man to
see a woman as a woman. When there is no such disease he will not see her as a
woman.
If we count from endless
number of births, men have always married women and vice versa, but still the
fascination in sex remains. When will this ever end? Would it not be better if
you become single so that all these difficulties would end?
Brahmacharya should be
practiced with understanding. If the fruit of brahmacharya is not moksha then,
that brahmacharya is like castration. It will make your body good, strong, and
good looking and you would live longer. Even a bull becomes strong and healthy.
Questioner: I do not feel like getting
married at all.
Dadashri: Really! Will you be okay if
you don’t get married?
Questioner: Yes, my only desire is to
attain brahmacharya. Please give me
some strength and understanding for that.
Dadashri: For that you have to have a
deep inner intent. Everyday, you have to say, ‘Dear Dada Bhagwan! Give me
strength to practice brahmacharya’. And you have to get rid of the slightest
thought of sex as soon as it arises. If not, a seed of sex will be sown. If
allowed to remain, after two days it will kill you. Hence uproot such a thought and get rid of it right away. Next,
make sure that you do not look with sexual thoughts at any woman. If your eyes
happen to pull you towards a woman, pull them away from her, remember Dada and
ask for forgiveness. When it continuously remains within that any element of
sexuality is not worth pursuing then it will all be a clean farm, no seed will
sprout. Even now if one stays under my shelter, then his goal of brahmacharya
will be fully attained.
The one who definitely wants to practice only
brahmacharya, must first examine and severely test his control over his senses,
and if he feels that he may slip, then it is better for him to get married.
Even after that, it should be under control and he should alert her about his
desire for exercising control.
Questioner: What is the method by which
sexual impulses are gotten rid of in the Akram path?
Dadashri: This is a different path.
Here, you do not have to remove any sexual impuses. So many people practice
brahmacharya of the mind, body and speech here. Those who are married, find
their solution from the way that I have shown them.
‘Here’, as the Self there is
no place for sexual impulses or sexuality. ‘This’ place, the Self is eternally
free from any movement. It never leaves its original state (nirvikari).
Sexuality is not poison.
Fearlessness in sex is poison. There is no problem in sex if it has to be done,
as a last resort, just as if a policeman were to force you to do so. It should
not happen by your own choice. Do you have any choice but to sit in the jail if
the policeman puts you there? Is there any escaping from there? Similarly, you
do not have a choice when karma unfolds its account and the sex act in the
mind, speech or body, happens. Any religion that sanctions and allows sexuality
is no religion. Religion exists where there is brahmacharya. No matter to what little extent religion is
present, it must be free from all elements of sexuality.
Questioner: Yes, that is true, but
shouldn’t there be a means of going from one shore of sexuality to the other
shore of brahmacharya?
Dadashri: Yes, for that there is
Gnan. For brahmacharya the right guru has to be encountered. The guru must not
have any element of sexuality. If the guru is sexual in any way, the entire
following will go to hell. They would not be able to see human life again.
Sexuality of any type does not suit a guru.
No religion accepts sexuality in spiritual matters.
Those who allow and accept sexuality in spiritual path are on the wrong path,
in fact on the path opposite of liberation, the path to hell. Such wrong and
misguided paths and teachers did exist in the past, seeking the Self along with
sex.
Questioner: Is that not a form of
deterioration in religion?
Dadashri: Of course, it is
deterioration, a severe one at that. These teachers do not go towards moksha
and they do not let their followers go either. They go down in lower life forms
and take their followers along with them.
Questioner: Despite knowing the
transient nature of sexual pleasure, what is the reason for such an intense
desire for it? And how can it be brought under control?
Dadashri: The world has not known the
nature of sexual impulses and desires at all. It can be brought under control
only if you know how it arises. But, you do not know under what circumstances
it arises. Then how can it be controlled? No one can control it. A person, who
appears to have control, is actually the result of his prior life deep inner
intent for brahmacharya. Otherwise, the only way one can have control over it
is if one finds the root cause of sexuality and puts a stop to it at that
point. It is too late to try and stop it once the sexual impulse expresses as
an effect. If you want to be free from all sexual impulses, I will show you the
way.
Questioner: Gnan is a very critical and
important thing for attaining freedom from sex.
Dadashri: Gnan is the only thing that
will get rid of all forms of vishaya, all entry into objects of enjoyment.
These objects of enjoyment cling to you because of ignorance of the Self.
As hard as you try, no other
approach, besides Gnan, can control vishaya.
Sexuality will not stop with external locks. I have seen some people who
have even gone to the extent of locking up their genitals in their desire to
curb sexual impulses but this does not work.
All sexual impulses and
desires fade in presence of Gnan. These brahmachari followers of Dada here are
free from even thoughts of sexuality.
Questioner: Psychology says that once
you have had your fill of ice cream to the point of full satisfaction, you do
not feel like eating it again.
Dadashri: That is not possible in
this world. On the contrary, you will feel like eating again. But, if somebody
keeps feeding you something that you do not like at all, again and again, then
it will induce vomiting and the intake will stop. In sexuality, the more a
person enjoys it, the more burning becomes his desire for it.
By not getting involved in the sexual act, one may
become uneasy and unsettled for a month or two. However loss of familiarity is
the key. With the loss of familiarity one will forget sexuality totally. It is not possible for a person enjoying sex
to get rid of the desire for it. Hence, research of the scriptures done by
people in our country, has led to the discovery that the path of brahmacharya
is the best. The best cure is to become unfamiliar with sex.
Once you stay away from sex
for one or two years, then you forget all about it. That is the nature of the
mind. If it goes near it, it will become restless. The mind has been separated
from its familiarity. If ‘You’(the Self) stay
separate from it, then the mind stays away from it and therefore it will
forget it forever. It will never remember it again. It will not go there even
if you want it to. Do you understand that? It is like if you stayed away from
your friend for two years then your mind will forget him.
Questioner: When we give the mind the
freedom to enjoy sex, it remains uninterested and when we control the mind, it
becomes restless even more, the fascination for sex increases. What is the
reason for this?
Dadashri: This is not called having
control over the mind. That which does not accept our control cannot be called
control. Shouldn’t there be a controller? You can only control, if you are the
controller. You are not the controller, because your mind does not obey you.
Does your mind obey you?
Mind is not to be
obstructed. Instead, the causes of the mind have to be obstructed. The mind is
a result. It is an effect. It will continue to show the results. It is like the
result of an examination. The result cannot be changed without changing the
answers of the examination. These answers were given in the past life. The
result is now in front of you as the mind. How can you identify the cause of
the effect? How did the mind filled with sex arise? The answer is that it is
stuck in sex. It was stuck in sex in the last life and it is stuck in sex in
this life. One should identify all the places where the mind is stuck in this
life, and cut off the link with it.
Questioner: What is the easiest way of
being free from all sexual impulses?
Dadashri: Coming to me is the
solution. What other solution is there? If you try to give up one passion by
yourself, another one will enter. A vacuum created cannot remain as vacuum. The
moment you give up sexual passions another passion sets in.
Questioner: This
anger-pride-attachment-greed that you talk about, where does sex come in it?
What does sex come under these passions?
Dadashri: sex and kashaya
(anger-pride-attachment-greed) are different. Indulging in sex and crossing its
limits is called greed.
[3] Importance of Brahmacharya
Questioner: Which is better, practice
of brahmacharya without ever getting exposed to marriage or woman/man or
practice of brahmacharya after getting married?
Dadashri: Brahmacharya since childhood
is entirely a different thing. But what are child brahmacharis of today like?
The times are bad these days. If you read about their life, you would get a
headache right away.
I will show you the way to
practice brahmacharya if you want to. You have to follow that way. It is not
mandatory for you to practice brahmacharya. This will only happen if your karma
effects are there in this regard. The vow of brahmacharya to be taken and be
preserved will happen only if your previous karmas are such. It can be
preserved if your deep inner intent (bhaav) from previous life was so. The
other way to preserve brahmacharya is based on your unflinching determination
to do so.
Your unflinching
determination (nischaya) coupled with the energy of my words, which is always
there, will preserve brahmacharya.
Questioner: The charged karmas that
have come with this body from past life, cannot be changed, can they?
Dadashri: No, they cannot be changed.
Yet, sex is one thing that can be changed through the agna of The Gnani Purush.
(here, special agna, the direction given by the Gnani to the one who desires
brahmacharya). But this vow, agna cannot be given to everyone. I have given it
to only few selected people. The agna of a Gnani has the power to change
everything. The seeker of brahmacharya simply has to make a firm decision that
no matter what happens, I will not have anything to do with sex, at any cost.
Then, I would give him the agna and vow of brahmacharya and then the energy of
my words start working in him. His chit will not be distracted anymore.
If a person practices
brahmacharya and attains its full glory then it is a very big thing. What more
one needs when, together with brahmacharya, he has ‘Dada’s Gnan’, this ‘ Akram
Vignan’? This Akram Vignan alone is such that with its experience and the
extraordinary result of the accomplished brahmacharya, one enjoys the bliss of
an emperor of emperors. All the kings of the world will have to bow to him.
Questioner: At the moment, even our
neighbor does not salute.
Questioner: Despite understanding, the
mind still stays fascinated in all the vishayas, objects of enjoyments of the
world. We understand what is right and what is wrong, and yet we cannot be free
from these vishayas. What is the solution for this?
Dadashri: True understanding is one
that produces results. All other understanding is barren.
Questioner: What should one do to make
this understanding fruitful?
Dadashri: I will explain to you in
detail. Then that understanding itself
will continue to produce results. You do not have to do anything. In fact, you
will ruin it if you try to meddle in it. The knowledge, the gnan, the
understanding that produces results, is the right knowledge.
If there is anything in this world that merits
slander, it is the practice of abrahmacharya. Others are not worth disparaging
much.
Questioner: But, psychologists say that
sexual impulses never stop. They stay till the end. Therefore, vital energy of
the semen cannot rise higher towards spirituality, can it?
Dadashri: What I am saying is that
once the opinion about sex changes, sex does not remain! As long as the opinion
about sex does not change the energy of the semen does not rise higher. And
here, in Akram we make a direct entry in to the Self and that is what we call
rising higher. The cessation of sex leads to the experience of the bliss of the
Self. This then leads to the natural rise of the vitality of the conserved
semen. My agna is such that vishaya
will stop.
Questioner: What is in the agna? Is the
agna, instruction to stop overt and gross sexual activity?
Dadashri: I do not say anything to
the external sexual activity. Mind, intellect, chit and ego should remain in
brahmacharya. And if mind, intellect, chit and ego turn towards brahmacharya,
then the extenranl sexuality will shed off automatically. Turn your mind,
intellect, chit and ego. My agna is such that these four do turn, for sure,
towards brahmacharya.
Questioner: How does a Gnani acquire the
energy of these words?
Dadashri: One attains this energy of
words only when one is absolutely free from all impulses of sexuality in mind,
speech and body (nirvishayi). Such energy that unfolds all aspects of sexuality
in true light is not to be found in this world. Only the one who is absolutely
free from all impulses of sexuality has the energy of words that purges
sexuality totally.
The Decision To Remain Unmarried
Questioner: I do not wish to get
married at all, but my parents, friends and relatives are pressuring me to do
so. So, should I get married or not?
Dadashri: If you definitely do not
wish to get married then, because of this Gnan that you have taken, you will
fulfill your goal of human life. Everything is possible with the power of this
Gnan. I will explain how to conduct yourself and with that understanding if you
remain afloat then you will reach the shore of salvation.
There is nothing greater
than the mere thought of taking the vow of brahmacharya and the firm decision
of remaining in it. Such a person has grasped the essence of all the
scriptures. The person, who makes a firm decision of being free from all these
entanglements of the world, has understood all the scriptures. The illusion of
sex is such that it will sink all, even the one who thinks that he has no
attachment to anything in the world. This illusion of sex has sunk great saints
and masters from tremendous spiritual heights.
Questioner: The resolution to follow
brahmacharya has been made. What can be done to strengthen this resolve?
Dadashri: Keep repeating this resolve
and your energy will increase by saying, ‘O ‘Dada Bhagwan’, I am making my
resolution stronger and firmer. Please grant me the energy to strenghthen my
resolve of brahmacharya’. Such words
will increase the energy.
Questioner: Do I have to continue
observing thoughts of sex as they come?
Dadashri: Keep on observing them.
What else can you do? Can you accumulate them?
Questioner: Should I not throw them
off?
Dadashri: You have to keep on
observing. After continuous observation you have to tell Chandresh (file no.
one for those who have taken Gnan) to do their pratikraman. You have to do
pratikraman for any sexual thoughts, desires and gestures that happen in the
mind, the speech and the body. Imagine how much bliss you will experience if
you become free from the thoughts of sex that arise? And just imagine how much
bliss will be there when they are all gone forever.
There are four pillars of
liberation. These are real knowledge,
real vision, real conduct and right penance (gnan, darshan, charitra and tapa).
Now, when does one have to do penance? When thoughts about sex arise and you
maintain a firm decision of not giving in to them, the Lord has called this
penance. When there is no desire for
sex at all, and when thoughts that lead to desire arise, that is where penance
begins.
The thoughts of sex and
abrahmacharya will come, and in this when one keeps praying for the energy of
brahmacharya, it is highly commendable.
With these prayers the seeker will attain the goal over a variable
period of two to five years. The person, who conquers abrahmacharya, conquers
the whole world. The governing deities, the celestial protectors of the path of
liberation are very pleased with the one who is in brahmacharya.
Sex is the only thing that
calls for vigilance. It is more than enough if sexual impulses are conquered.
The impulses must be uprooted as soon as they arise, before they become
thoughts of sex. Secondly, once there has been eye contact with anyone who
arouses impulses of sexuality, you should immediately change the inner visual
link. Otherwise the sexual seeding will
grow and even when it is tiny it will sow seeds for more sex. Therefore it is
best to eradicate it when it is a mere sapling.
Stay as far away from the
company of those who are likely to trap you in sexuality, because if you get
trapped even once, you will keep on getting into trap after trap. Therefore
run! You must run as far away from that person as possible. You would not slip
if you leave the place where there are chances of slipping. In satsang, there
is no chance of meeting any other ‘files’ (people who tempt you sexually).
People with the same goal of spiritual progress come together here, do they
not?
Eradicate the sexual thought
immediately. Do pratikraman for any attraction of a sexual nature. With these
two weapons, brahmacharya will remain forever.
It is in the nature of the sexual seed to fall and
reseed into a plant. The eyes see all kinds of things and hence seeds are sown
within. These internal seeds have to be uprooted. As long as they are in the
form of seeds, one has a chance for a cure. Once they sprout and start growing
it becomes more and more difficult, and then there is no cure.
The women are not pulling and attracting you. It is
your past life account that is pulling and attracting you. Therefore uproot and
throw it (sexual impulses) away and clear the account. After Gnan, there is no
problem of any kind except sex. Therefore I caution you against sex. Just commencing
a sexual link through looking is the fault and especially after understanding
this, if it happens then severe liability is incurred. Therefore do not begin
this sexual link with anyone.
Are you overcome by sleep that veils your awareness
of the Self? The world will latch on to you if you dose off in such sleep. Now,
from here on if you dose off, get attracted and tempted sexually
with a specific person then you have to
ask for energy of brahmacharya from the pure Soul of that person, by saying, ‘O
pure Soul! Give me the strength to maintain my brahmacharya with the entire
world’. It is good if you ask for strength from ‘Dada’ but it is best to ask
directly from the pure Soul of the person who is pulling you.
Questioner: What should we do if the eyes
meet sexually?
Dadashri: Become clean and pure with
the help of pratikraman. You must do pratikraman as soon as sexuality arises through the four eyes that have met.
That is why it has been said not to place a photograph or a statue of a beautiful
woman.
Questioner: It is believed that sex is
the sweetest of all tastes. On what grounds is this based?
Dadashri: The reason why one feels
the sweetness in sex is because one has not experienced sweetness anywhere
else. If we really look at it as it is, there is most filth in sexuality than
anywhere else. But this momentary
sweetness and pleasure renders one unconscious even while awake.
Questioner: I do not like it at all and
yet the attraction remains. I continue to experience remorse afterwards about
it.
Dadashri: If there is remorse, then
it will go away. How can sexuality remain if you see only the Soul of the
person? Sex happens when you see anything else except the Self. Do you know how
to analyze sexuality?
Questioner: You tell me, Dada.
Dadashri: Analysing the sexual event
means, do the eyes like it? Do the ears like it when they hear it? And does it
taste sweet if the tongue licks it? None of the senses like it. The ears must
really like it right? Therefore when you analyse this way you will realize that
hell exists there. But without this analysis people are confused. Isn’t it a
wonder that the world is so enamored with sex?
‘By conquering sex, you have
conquered the worldly life,
Just as by conquering the
King you have conquered the army, kingdom and power.’
You will get everything, the
army, the city and the power when you conquer the King.
Questioner: After acquiring Gnan from
you, can we completely get rid of the seeds of sex right away in this life?
Dadashri: Everything can be done. No
new seeds are sowed for the next life. Wash away the old seeds that already
exist, and new seeds will not be sown.
Questioner: Does that mean that we will
not have any thoughts of sex, in the next life?
Dadashri: No, you will not. If a few
were left from the past then those thoughts will come but they would be of no
consequence. There is no danger where there are no pending accounts.
Questioner: Whom can you call a
shilvaan person?
Dadashri: A person who does not have
any thought of sex whatsoever. A person, who does not have any anger, pride,
attachment or greed, is a shilvaan.
If ever there is an occasion
for a severe testing of your resolve of brahmacharya, if there is strong sexual
attraction and inclination, then one should fast two to three times. When the
force of unfolding karma is very strong, fasting can stop them. Fasting does not destroy these sexual
passions completely.
[2] ‘Three Vision’ Stops Sexual Vision
Use the same experiment that I had used for myself.
For me this experiment is constantly in place and it had kept me aware even
before enlightenment. When the vision
falls on someone wearing beautiful clothes, a saree worth two thousand rupees,
I become aware and see her naked. Then a second awareness arises and I see the
body without the skin and then the third awareness arises and I see the
intestines, the kind you see when the stomach is cut open. I can also see
changes that occur within the intestines.
I can see blood vessels; I can see fecal matter etc. I can see all the
refuse this way. Then there is no chance of sexual implulse arising, is there?
In all this, the Soul is the only pure thing and that is where my vision stops.
Therefore how can any illusion over sex ever occur?
Shrimad Rajchandra has said,
“All the miseries come to an end if you do not get deluded and see the pure
Soul (within all).” We read in scriptures that you should not become attached
to women but you forget this the moment you see a woman.
This is the illusion. If this illusion leaves, this
view that ‘I am Chandulal’, and instead the right vision, ‘ I am pure Soul’,
takes hold then all suffering comes to an end. Then the delusion will not
happen, attraction will not occur.
Questioner: When a man looks at a woman
and has sexual thoughts about her, is
the woman at fault to some extent also?
Dadashri: No, the woman is not at
fault at all. Lord Mahavir’s appearance
was such that a lot of women were attracted to him, but this did not affect the
Lord. The gnan says that your actions should be with good intentions. Your dressing and conduct should be such that
it does not attract the opposite sex. If your inner intents are pure then
nothing can be harmed. Why did the Lord pluck all the hair on his head? He did
that to avoid any sexual impulses arising in the minds of women who saw him. He
had his hair removed so that they do not become a cause for ruining someone’s
inner intent. As it is Lord Mahavir was very attractive. He had the most
beautiful body in the whole world.
Questioner: Does the attachment and
illusionary my-ness over a woman have to leave before the sexual impulses
towards her begin to dissipate?
Dadashri: The sexual impulse has been
there for countless lives, and you never know when it will rise again.
Therefore, it is important to remain within the company of brahmacharis. If you
go out of this company, because of the existing impulse, sexuality will start
to sprout all over again. Therefore, you have to stay in the company of
brahmacharis. The tendency to delve in sexual sweetness has not been completely
eliminated; therefore it can start all over again when you mix with the wrong
people. That is the nature of wrong company.
Wrong company has no affect
on the person whose tendency and inclinations of sexual nature has been
eradicated or gone.
Your attachment to the
illusion of sex will disappear if you follow my agna. If you try to remove it
yourself, it is so powerful that it will sabotage your effort and everything.
Therefore, instead of fighting to remove it, you should say to it, “Sit down, I
will honor you”. Then, by remaining the Self, and focusing with this awareness
on the attachment and the impulses, it will all dissipate and leave. This is
the same as coming under the protection of Dada’s agnas.
[3] A Firm Decision Takes You Across To Final Safety
What is nischaya (determined decision)? Nischaya
means, no matter how powerful an army of worldly difficulties arises with attacks,
you would not back off. No matter how many different types of inner appeals and
lawyers come to change your understanding, you would remain firm. Once you have
made a firm decision, you would not change it. That is called a nischaya.
What is nischaya? It is to
stop all other thoughts and come onto only one thought. For example that you
definitely want to go to the station from here and from the station you want to
go by train and not by bus. Hence, if you make a firm decision, all the
evidences for going by train will come together and make it happen.
If your decision is not firm
then the evidences will not come together and your goal will not be
accomplished.
Questioner: Does the timing change with
firm decision?
Dadashri: All the timings change with
firm decision. This gentleman was saying,
‘I will most probably come, but you go ahead if I am not here on time’.
I realized that his was a hollow decision and hence evidences for him will be
such that he may not be able to accomplish whatever he set out to.
Questioner: Who breaks our firm
decision?
Dadashri: It is your own ego. It is
the ego that is with attachment, the deluded ego.
Questioner: Is weak intent a weakness
of firm decision?
Dadashri: It is not a weakness. It is not a decision at all! Weaknesses can
be removed, but here there is no decision present at all to begin with.
Questioner: If your intent for
brahmacharya is not weak or conceited then would the thoughts of sexuality
completely stop coming?
Dadashri: No, let the thoughts come.
What is wrong with thoughts? The thoughts will never stop. We do not want any
weakness of conceit. There must be strong opposition to the subtle greed and
conceit for delving into sexuality within. How dare such thoughts arise?
If you make a man who has
not slept for four days sit on the edge of a well, if he is determined not to
fall into a well, he would not. He would remain awake.
You will succeed in
achieving your goal of attaining brahmacharya with your absolute firm decision
coupled with my agna, provided there is no wavering in that decision. My agna
will guide you wherever you go and you must never abandon your vow, ever. If a
thought of sex arises then keep on cleansing it (pratikraman) for half an hour
at a time by saying, ‘Why are these thoughts still coming?’ And never initiate
the sexual look with anyone. He who wants to practice brahmacharya must not
look with sexual intent at any one.
The slightest touch of the
hand to a woman can cause shake this firm decision. It will not allow you to sleep;
such are the atoms of the female sex. Therefore, the act of touching must never
take place, and if you are careful about preserving the purity of your vision,
then your firm decision would not waver.
Questioner: If a person’s firm decision
about practicing brahmacharya wavers, then is it because of the effect of the
wavering inner intent of his previous life?
Dadashri: No, that is not the case.
It is because his nischaya is not nischaya. He has not made a firm decision.
This is not a result of previous life and this so-called firm decision that he
had made, was done by watching others doing it. It wavers because it is done
out of going along with others around were doing. Why don’t you get married
instead, what do you have to lose? At least you will help some girl get
settled.
There can never be exception
for brahmacharya because man’s mind is looking for a loophole and wherever
there is a slightest hole, the mind makes it larger.
Questioner: What tendencies (of the
chit) are working within when a person searches for a loophole?
Dadashri: It is the mind that is
working and not the tendencies of the chit. It is the nature of the mind to
search for loopholes.
Questioner: How can one stop mind from
looking for loopholes?
Dadashri: With nischaya. A firm unflinching decision. How can
it look for a loophole, if your decision is firm? If your decision is firm then
nobody can find a loophole. Just like a person who has made a firm decision of
not eating meat, will not eat meat.
Questioner: So, should we have a firm
decision in every matter?
Dadashri: A firm decision is what
makes everything work.
Questioner: After realizing the Self,
does one need nischaya in relative matters?
Dadashri: You, the Self do not have
to keep the decision, do you? You have to tell Chandresh to make the firm
decision and preserve it properly.
If one needs to ask
questions about this then he is searching for loopholes. Therefore, whenever
there is a need to ask these kinds of questions tell him (Chandresh)‘to be
quiet’. Tell him to ‘get out’ so he will become quiet. Everything will
disappear the moment you say ‘get out’.
How is it going with you?
Questioner: When such a circumstance
arises some day, then one of the seeds of sex sprouts. But I instantly place
the ‘three-vision’ on it.
Dadashri: Would one not die if he
drowns in the river just once? Or would he have to drown daily to die? Is there
any problem left if one dies by drowning in the river just once? Is the river
going to lose anything?
Authors of scriptures have called
a single act of abrahmacharya, a death. Die if you have to but do not lose
brahmacharya.
If awareness does not remain
when the force of karma unfolds, recite loudly, the sentences of Gnan to bring
back the awareness and confront the karmas. That is called an extraordinary
effort (parakram). To invoke the energies of the Self (Atmashkati, sva-virya)
is called extraordinary effort (parakram). Nobody has any power against
parakram.
Your awareness will be in
proportion to your sincerity. This I am
giving you as an aphorism (sutra) and with such clarification that even a
little boy can understand. This is science. Your progress depends upon your
sincerity, and that sincerity can take you to moksha. The fruit of sincerity is
morality.
Questioner: The other day you were
saying that even in youth there is a ‘ridge point’, so what is this ‘ridge
point’?
Dadashri: ‘Ridge point’ means right
at its peak. Where is the ridge of a roof? It is at the top.
When a youth reaches the
‘ridge point’, at that moment everything topples over. If one passes through
this, then he is a winner. I will look after everything, but if he changes his
mind, then there is no cure. That is why I teach him before the karma unfolds,
to walk with his eyes looking down. Do not look at a woman. He can enjoy
everything else. We cannot give you any guarantees because you are in your
youth.
[4] When the Thoughts of Sexuality Torment
Someday, when a sexual thought sprouts and it
lingered on, then you have to do a massive pratikraman, continuous long
pratikraman. You must get rid of the thought as soon as it sprouts.
[5] Do Not Be Guided By Your Mind
You should never proceed as guided by your mind. If
the mind says according to what the Gnan says then one may adjust accordingly.
If it goes against what our Gnan stands for, then you must stop it.
Look how wise Kabir was when
he said, four hundred years ago, that, ‘ The one who lets his mind rule his
actions loses everything’. Was Kabir not wise? People are governed by their
minds. If your mind says, ‘Get married to this person’, does that mean you have
to get married?
Questioner: No. That cannot happen.
Dadashri: What will you do when the
mind still says that? You will have to remain strong if you want to practice
brahmacharya. The mind can say anything and it will make you say the same. That
is why I was saying that tomorrow morning you would run away. What is the
reason for this? How can you trust the one who is dictated by his mind?
Questioner: Now, I would not run away
from here.
Dadashri: Oh, but what guarantee is
there that a man who is governed by his mind will not run away from here? Here,
if I scold you for two days, then you would leave on the third day. You do know
this. How can you trust your mind?
At the moment your mind
helps you by telling you: ‘It is not worth getting married, there are too many
problems in getting married’. It is your mind that first shows you this
principle, which you have decided through your mind and not through Gnan. It is
the mind that showed you the principle to do this.
Questioner: If the firm decision was
made through Gnan, then the mind would not go against you, would it?
Dadashri: No, it would not. The
foundation for firm decisions (nischaya) made through Gnan is different. All
their foundations are like R.C.C (reinforced cement concrete) while the others
like those made by the mind are like those made out of mixture of gravel and
concrete (non reinforced) which are prone to crack.
[6] ‘One’ Should Scold Oneself
Look this man has severely reprimanded his self,
threatened his self. It was worth seeing how he was scolding his self and
crying at the same time.
Questioner: Once, I reprimanded
Chandresh two or three times, and made him cry too. He also told ‘me’ that this
would not happen again and yet it happens.
Dadashri: Yes, that will happen but
you have to keep on talking to him. ‘You’ have to keep on telling him and that
will keep on happening too. By talking You remain detached from him. You have
to keep scolding as if he is a neighbor. By keeping on doing that, it will come
to an end and all the files will be over too, would they not? If a thought
about sex arises, you have to say, ‘It’s not me’. It is not a part of you. You
need to scold the one who has it.
Questioner: The experiment that you
show us, about doing samayik (to place in front of the Self) by looking in the
mirror, and talking to the prakruti (the complex of thought, speech and acts)
all feels very good for two or three days, but later the weaknesses return.
Dadashri: If deficiencies set in,
start all over again. Deficiencies will set in with time. The nature of the
pudgal (physical self) is such that it deteriorates with familiarity and
therefore it should be refreshed by innovative ways and adjustments and brought
back into order.
Questioner: One is to attain the end of the experiment by sticking to
it. In reality this does not happen and
the experiment is discontinued half way through.
Dadashri: It is achieved by
persistent application. It will not happen immediately.
[7] Pratikraman With True
Repentance
Questioner: Sometimes I feel bored in
performing so many pratikramans, because there are so many to do all of a
sudden.
Dadashri: Yes, this is the problem
with apratikraman. This happens because pratikramans was not done at the time
the mistake happened. By doing the pratikraman right away, the fault will not
arise again.
Questioner: When can you say that the
cloth has been washed properly? cleansed?
Dadashri: When you do pratikraman,
you yourself will feel that it has been washed properly.
Questioner: Should remorse remain internally?
Dadashri: The remorse must remain.
The remorse must remain until your work (liberation) is done. You just have to
keep watching if he is remorseful or not. You have to do your work, and he will
do his.
Questioner. All this is very sticky,
but some change is occurring.
Dadashri: Whatever kind of fault was
filled, is what comes out. But this will be emptied in twelve years, ten years
or five years, and then the tank will be all cleared. Then it will be clean and
then you are free in everything.
Questioner: Once the seed has been
sown, it will bring forth its fruit, will it not?
Dadashri: The seeds are sown! It will
bear fruit, but as long as the roots have not taken a firm hold, there will be
some change in the intensity of the fruit. Therefore, before death one can
change the result to come, and be cleansed of it.
That is why we say to a person who has a lot of
sexual faults, or any other faults, to fast on Sunday and keep thinking about
the faults and cleansing them whole day. If this is done with my agna, the
faults will decrease.
Questioner: How do we do
samayik-pratikraman for matters related to sexual indulgence and impulses?
Dadashri: You have to do pratikraman
for all the mistakes that have occurred till today and make a firm decision not
to repeat those mistakes in future.
Questioner: What if we keep seeing the
same mistakes over and over, when doing samayik?
Dadashri: Ask for forgiveness as long
as you keep seeing mistakes. Ask for forgiveness, do repentance and pratikraman
with remorse over it.
Questioner: Just now when I sat in
samayik, why did I keep seeing the same things over and over again?
Dadashri: That will come, as long as
those atoms are still there within you. What problem does that cause you
anyway?
Questioner: Does it mean that they keep
coming because they have not been cleansed properly?
Dadashri: No. That stock is there and
will remain for a very long time. It will remain for about tens of years, but
you have to persevere to remove it all.
Questioner: This science of uprooting
the two-leaf sapling of sexual thought, is it such that on doing this sincerely
one will win all the way and attain lasting brahmacharya?
Dadashri: Yes, but sex is such a thing
that if you get involved in it, you will loose the awareness of the Self.
Therefore, this tuber is harmful. When the tuber of sexuality sprouts the
result is the sexual impulse, and it is like a two leaf sapling. Generally the
impulse is so strong that one becomes engrossed in it, becomes one with it.
This engrossment is called vishaya. It cannot be called vishaya, without being
engrossed in it. There should be so much awareness, when this tuber sprouts as
a sapling of sexual impulse that if you uproot and discard it, just like
discarding the thought as soon it arises, you would not become engrossed in it.
Then it will not touch you. Then the tuber still exists and may sprout again
and again when the circumstances are right. When the tuber is finally gone,
dissolved, no impulses of sexuality will arise within, and your goal of
brahmacharya will be attained.
Questioner: So, the interaction of
worldly attraction of sex does not exist once the tuber of sex is dissolved?
Dadashri: That interaction will stop.
The relationship between a ‘needle’ and a ‘magnet’ would stop. This relation is
only there because of these tubers of sexuality carried over from past life.
Sexuality is gross, overt and of the body, whereas the Self is beyond anything
that is the subtlest. It is very difficult to maintain this awareness and
therefore engrossment in sex happens. It is only the Gnani Purush who can
maintain this awareness continuously, no one else can.
The tuber of sexuality is very huge and there is
great need to dissolve it. And for that purpose this unique samayik has come
about in a very natural way. Arrange to sit in this samayik. It will dissolve
everything, all traces of sexuality. You will have to do something about this
huge tuber, will you not? You will have to remove all the ‘diseases’ whilst Dada is here, would you not? Only one or two
tubers are large, but would you not have to get rid of whatever they are? You
have wandered for countless lives because of this disease of sex. The purpose
of this samayik is to get rid of the persistent tuber of sex. This tuber gives
rise to causes for sexuality in the next life. And therefore to get rid of this
tuber samayik is necessary.
[8] Touch: The Illusion Of Pleasure
People are all involved in the filth of sex. One
does not like presence of light during sexual activity. They get alarmed when
the light comes on. Therefore they keep lights off. If the light falls on the
spot of the sexual activity then one would not like that ‘the place of
enjoyment’, the organ of sexaul interaction.
That is why, what has Krupadudev called the ‘place of enjoyment’?
Questioner: ‘It is not worth vomiting
over’.
Questioner: Yet, what is the reason for
being so attracted to that part of the woman’s body?
Dadashri: This is due to our wrong belief.
Why don’t we get attracted to a cow’s body part? It’s only our belief. There is
nothing except for our belief. Destroy that belief and there would not be
anything.
Questioner: Do these beliefs arise due
to circumstances coming together?
Dadashri: These beliefs arise by what
others say to us. Then by supporting those statements, your beliefs become
strong. After all, what is in there in it? Just pieces of flesh!
The thoughts of sex arise in the mind by themselves.
You must cleanse them with pratikraman. Then you must never say that sexuality
is good, and it should not be so in your behavior. You must not look sensually
at a woman, and you must not touch a woman. If you have touched a woman then
you should do pratikraman, ‘Oh no, why did I touch her?’ This is because
thoughts of vishaya begin with the act of touching.
Questioner: Is it not considered
despising a woman?
Dadashri: That is not called
despising. When doing pratikraman, you are asking for forgiveness from the pure
Soul within her that, ‘I made a mistake, please give me strength not to do the
same again.’ You have to ask for strength from the Soul within her. You have to
ask for strength from whomever you have made a mistake against, so that you
will keep getting strength.
Questioner: So then touch does have an
effect, does it not?
Dadashri: At that time of effect of
touch you should return to your state of awareness. ‘I am separate from this
body, I am not Chandresh’. This pure awareness should remain. Whenever this
happens, remain in pure awareness of the Self and ‘I am not Chandresh’.
The moment the thought of pleasure from being
touched arises; you must uproot it and throw it out. If you do not do that
instantly, then it will sprout and grow into a ‘tree’ within the first second.
Within next second it will get you in its strangle hold and within the third
second you would be strangulated.
If there is no account from the previous life, then
even a simple touch will not happen.
Even if a man and a woman were to spend a long time alone in one room,
not a single thought or impulse of sexual nature will arise.
Questioner: You said that attraction
occurs because there is an account between the two. Then how can one get rid of
that account before it unfolds?
Dadashri: That can only be done if it
is done at that very moment when it happens. It cannot be done in advance. The
moment a thought like, ‘Let me reserve some space next to me for a woman’,
arises in your mind, you must get rid of it right away. ‘What is the
intention’, see that as soon as it happens. You have to recognize the intention
behind that. Is it in line with your principle of brahmacharya or is it
contrary to it? If it is contrary to your principle, uproot it and throw it
away instantly.
Questioner: I do not want to touch
anyone, but what should I do if a girl comes and touches me?
Dadashri: I see. What would you do to
a snake that wants to touch you? How can one like touching a woman or a man?
How can one like touching something that is simply ‘filth’?
Questioner: But while touching whatever
is being discussed here does not come to mind.
Dadashri: Yes, but how will it ever
come in mind? At the time of touching, it is so poisonous that the veil of
ignorance covers the mind, the intellect, the chit, and the ego. Man becomes
unconscious while awake. He becomes like an animal.
If ever touching or any similar acts occur, come and
tell me and I will cleanse it right away for you.
If you indulge in thoughts of a woman or in thoughts
of sexuality, if you contemplate or meditate about them, a tuber of sexuality will form. How will it then dissolve then? Having
thoughts opposing sexuality will dissolve the tuber.
Once your vision towards a person turns and becomes
sexual then the indulgence begins. There is a reason behind it. Behind that
there are causes from the previous life. That is why this vision of sexuality
does not happen with everyone. It is only with a certain person that it
happens. If there were causes laid in a previous life, and an ongoing account
continuing in this life and then if indulgence takes place, then realize that
this is a large account and therefore be very vigilant. You will need to keep
on doing pratikraman towards that person. There should be a lot of alochanas
(heart-felt confession), pratikramans (apology coupled with remorse) and
pratyakhyans (resolve never to repeat that mistake).
This sex is such a thing that it does not let the
mind and the chit remain the way that they want to. And once they fall in this
trap of sex and believe that there is happiness there, then the chit begins to
go there even more and more by believing that, ‘It is really nice here, it is
really good here’, countless numbers of new seeds are sown here.
Questioner: But he has brought all that
from his previous life has he not?
Dadashri: His chit’s repeated going
there is not something that he has brought this from his previous life. But
afterwards he loses control over his chit, when it keeps slipping from his
hands even when he does not want to go there, in sexuality. That is why it is
better if these boys live with an inner intent of practicing brahmacharya. Then
whatever sexual discharge happens either during the day or night is all really
a discharge, because they are not in it. If these young adults are involved in
a sexual act even once, they will have dreams about it day and night.
Have you not experienced, that if your chit goes
into sexuality, you cannot focus properly?
Questioner: If the chit has touched
even a bit of the vibrations of sexual impulses then it would not remain still
for a long time.
Dadashri: Therefore, what I am trying
to say is that you can travel anywhere in the world. If nothing in the world
captivates your chit, then you are truly independent. For years I have seen
that nothing captivates my chit and therefore I know that I have become
completely independent. There is nothing wrong with bad thoughts that may
arise, but your chit should never be captivated by anything.
However much the tendencies of the chit wander, that
much the self, has to wander. Wherever the chit’s tendencies go, you will have
to go with them. Chit draws a map. It draws a map of comings and goings of your
next life. You then have to follow that map. Therefore, where all does the
tendencies of the chit go?
Questioner: Chit does not get
captivated everywhere, but if it does in a certain place, then is there a
previous account there?
Dadashri: Yes. The chit will be
captivated only if there is an account there. But what should you do now?
Purusharth (realized self oriented effort) is that which does not allow the
captivation even if there is past account of captivation. It is not considered
abrahmacharya as long as pratikraman is done when the chit goes. It is
abrahmacharya if pratikraman is not done after the chit goes.
Whatever makes the chit unsteady are all vishayas.
Wherever chit goes, outside of the Gnan, the Self, is all vishaya.
Questioner: You said that there is
nothing wrong in having any bad thoughts but problem is with the chit going
there.
Dadashri: Yes, the problem is with
the chit. Wandering of the chit is the problem. There is no problem with any
kind of thought at all. But, after acquiring this Gnan, the chit must not
wander.
Questioner: What if the chit does
wander sometimes?
Dadashri: There you should initiate
purusharth of ‘now this should not happen’. Is the chit wandering now as much
as it used to before?
Questioner: No, it does not slip that
much, yet I am asking about it.
Dadashri: No, but the chit must not
leave at all. You will have all kinds of thoughts. There is nothing wrong in it
but keep on pushing them away. Start having conversation with the mind. Start
conversing with the mind saying, ‘if you meet this person what will you tell
him about your project?’ ‘ Where will you arrange transportation for him?’ Or
start talking to your mind by about satsang. When you do this mind will show
you some new ideas.
What captivates the chit the most? Sex.
Once the chit becomes trapped in sex, it destroys all divinity within
one. With loss of divinity, one becomes like an animal. Sexual indulgence is
the cause of animalistic behavior of human beings. Yet, what I am saying is
that all this is an accumulation of karma from past life and it will be
discharged sooner or later. The best thing is not to accumulate new ones in
this life.
[9] Strictness Towards ‘File’
Questioner: How can we escape the net
of attraction of sex thrown at us by someone?
Dadashri: You should not initiate eye
contact with that person. If you know that she will cast the net then you
should not initiate any eye contact with her.
Wherever you think that there is a trap, you should
not meet with that person.
When talking with anyone do not make eye contact
with that person, always look down and talk. The problem is created with the
way you look at the person. There is poison in this sexual vision and it is a
poison that is intoxicating. Therefore if an eye connection has commenced and
that individual attracts you, you should immediately do pratikraman. You must
remain vigilant here. Those who do not want to ruin their current life, beware.
When the file to which you are attracted approaches,
your mind becomes restless.
At that time the mind becomes restless and the
person feel miserable. This person’s mind became restless. That is why I had
the stern look in my eyes.
When the file approaches, everything becomes
restless within. It goes up and down as soon as you think about her or him. It
is nothing but garbage inside. The only thing that is valuable inside is the
Soul.
It is very dangerous if you remember a file in her
absence. If the file is not present and you do not remember her, but then as
soon as that file comes and it affects you, then it is called a secondary
danger. You should not let this affect you. It is important to be independent.
At that time you lose your reins and then you would not have any control, would
you?
It is very dangerous if you already have a file. You
must remain stern towards that file. If
that file comes in front of you, you should show anger in your eyes, then that
file will be fearful of you.
Questioner: If we have a file and we do
not have any feeling of scorn towards her, then should we deliberately create
scorn towards her?
Dadashri: Yes, why can’t you create
scorn and hatred? Would you not hate the person who causes so much harm to you
in your life long goal of brahmacharya? Therefore, there is still conceit
within you. Your intentions are still unclear.
Questioner: If too much familiarity has
occurred with her then, how can it be undone? Should I be intentionally hateful
towards her and despise her?
Dadashri: Lots of pratikramans need
to be done by saying, ‘ not mine, not mine, not mine’ Then, when you meet her
in person, you can let her have it, ‘Why are you fluttering around me like a useless
animal?’ Then she will not show her face again.
Questioner: What should we do if we
realize that the other person is not a file for us but we are a file for her?
Dadashri: Then you should get rid of
it even sooner. You should stay firm. Then she will stop making plans. If this
doesn’t work then you can even talk something crazy. You can say that, ‘If you
come before me then I will slap you. You will not find anyone crazier than me’.
This way the file would not come again. She can only be removed like this.
[10] Sexual Behavior: Dismissal From Group
It is wrong to come to this group of mahatmas and
then have sexual impulses and sexual look towards anyone. Here everyone comes
with full trust.
By coming here all the sins, including sexual sins,
that were committed elsewhere are cleansed. But, the consequences of the sins
that are committed here will have to be paid for in hell. We can release you of
your sins that are already committed, but we must avoid committing new sins.
Here is a solution for the sins that have happened.
It is better to get married than to behave as an
animal in sexual matters. What is wrong in getting married? Fulfilling ones
sexual needs by getting married is better. Not getting married and continuing
to be sexually active with many persons is a very dangerous and earns you the
right to go to hell. We cannot have that here, can we? Having sex with your
marital partner is rightful sex.
Breaking the vow of brahmacharya is a major fault.
Breaking the vow of brahmacharya is a major problem. It is like a huge fall
from a great height. It is like uprooting a ten-year-old tree. Ten years are
wasted, are they not?It is like replanting it all over again. When the person
practicing brahmacharya slips, just for one day, all is lost.
Questioner: My commitment is firm, but
I still make mistakes.
Dadashri: I can accept if other
mistakes are occur, but circumstances leading to the sexual interaction must
never happen.
You must accept two conditions: First if act of sex
happens, then I would personally leave this group of brahmacharis, nobody else
will have to tell me to leave. I will walk away on my own. Secondly, if I dose
off in spiritual lethargy in the presence of Dada, then I will accept whatever
punishment the group gives me. This punishment may be fasting for three days or
something like that.
[11] Complete Safe Side In Brahmacharya
There is a precondition and requirements to be able
to practice brahmacharya. The precondition is that you should have taken Gnan.
Then the necessary requirements are; being in a group of people practicing
brahmacharya, they should live in a place outside and away from the city and
they should have some continuing guidance. All these circumstances should be
present.
Questioner: Does that mean that bad
company can destroy the power of a firm resolution of brahmacharya?
Dadashri: Yes, it would break your
resolve. Bad company can completely change a person’s behavior just as can the
company of good people changes you. But once a person joins the company of the
immoral, it is very difficult to bring him back and it does not take long at
all for a person who is in the company of spiritual people to get into immoral
company.
Questioner: There are all kinds of
tubers within, but the tuber of sex torments the most.
Dadashri: Certain tubers will torment
you more than others. You need to keep an army ready to counteract that. All
the tubers are being worn out and exhausted slowly, and one day they will all
be exhausted.
Questioner: What do you mean by an army?
Pratikraman?
Dadashri: Pratikraman and firm
resolution (nischaya), are the armies to be maintained. Then the continued darshan of the ‘Gnani Purush’ is
necessary. If you become remote from this live darshan of the Gnani Purush you
may have problems with brahmacharya. Therefore to be free from all potential
dangers in this path of brahmacharya is not an easy thing.
Questioner: When would complete safe
side occur in this quest of brahmacharya?
Dadashri: There is no way to know
when you can be completely safe. But after thirty-five years, strength of the
inner sexual impulses will wane and thus will not torment you as much. Then you
will have much greater control than now. And your internal state and body will
follow your thoughts of brahmacharya. Your desires will not be tainted with
sexual elements and thus will not harm you. But for thirty-five years there is
a lot of potential danger.
[12] The Role Of Food In Brahmacharya
Questioner: There is a different kind
of happiness in the night, on the day I fast. What is the reason for this?
Dadashri: When happiness is not taken
from external things, bliss within expresses. As happiness is taken from
external things, the bliss within remains dormant.
I have always practiced penance of eating less food
than needed for full satisfaction, right till the end. Awareness remains
constantly by eating less. Penance of hunger, eating less means that if you
normally eat four chapattis everyday, then start eating only two. That is
called the penance of staying hungry because of eating less.
Questioner: How big an obstacle is food
in maintaining the awareness in Gnan?
Dadashri: Big obstacle. Food is very
hindering because, as the food enters the stomach, it is converted into a form
of alcohol and then you feel the effects as lethargy during the rest of the
day.
Those who want to practice brahmacharya must be
aware that sexual impulses increase with certain foods. These types of foods
should be decreased. Fatty foods such as those with fats and oils should not be
consumed. Also decrease the amount of milk you take, but you can eat curries,
rice, vegetables and chapatis, except just reduce the amount you consume. Do
not overeat. Therefore, the amount of food you eat should be such that you do
not feel lethargic and at night you feel refreshed with only three to four
hours of sleep.
People feed young children magas, gundarpak, rich
Indian sweets made from ghee etc. that has very negative effect through the
effects of sexual impulses, with the result that they deteriorate morally.
Therefore, too much of it should not be given to young children. You have to
have some norms.
I am alerting you to the fact that if you want to
practice brahmacharya, you should not eat any onions and garlic and potatoes.
Questioner: We cannot eat these three?
Dadashri: It is a wrong philosophy to
combine practice of brahmacharya and eating onions, garlic or potatoes. This is
contradictory to brahmacharya.
Questioner: Are these three food items
avoided for practice of ahimsa, non-violence or is it for some other reason?
Dadashri: These three food items
incite sexual impulses greatly and lead to abrahmacharya. These rules have to
be followed in order to preserve one’s brahmacharya.
[13] The Science Of Brahmacharya
What is brahmacharya? It is the life force of the
body (non-self). What is the ultimate essence of the food we eat and
drink? Brahmacharya! If this essence,
brahmacharya disappears, then the foundation of the relative self to the pure
Self becomes unstable and loose. And then the exact experience and attainment
of the Self becomes very difficult. Therefore, brahmacharya is a critical
spiritual practice. There is no end to bliss if there is Gnan on one side and
brahmacharya on the other. Then it brings about an unbelievable change. It is
because brahmacharya is the life force and the essence of the body.
What happens in the stomach to all that you eat and
drink?
Questioner: It is converted into blood.
Dadashri: What happens to that blood?
Questioner: The blood is converted into
semen.
Dadashri: Really! Do you understand
what semen is? The blood is converted into semen and then what happens to that
semen? Do they not talk about seven elements of the blood? From one of these elements bone is formed,
from the second flesh is formed, and so on until the last of all to be formed
is semen. Semen is the essence of the body. Just as clarified butter,ghee is
the extract of milk, the essence of food is semen.
The essence of worldly life is moksha and the
essence of the body is semen. All the things in the world are by nature
draining down. Semen is the only one that will rise if you want to. Therefore
the seeds of intent for the energy of
the semen to rise higher towards spiritual and ultimately the Self should be
sown.
Questioner: If I stay in this Gnan then
would it rise up naturally on its own?
Dadashri: Yes, and this Gnan is such
that if you remain in Gnan, you would not have any problems, but when ignorance
arises, this disease of sexuality arises. You have to maintain awareness at
that time. There is endless violence in sex. There is not as much violence in
eating and drinking.
Scientists and all the other people of the world say
that semen and ovum both drain down by nature. This is true, but it happens
because of ignorance. In Gnan, they rise. This is the power and the energy of
Gnan. Where there is Gnan, there is no sexual impulse.
Questioner: What happens when the
energy of the Self (atmavirya) expresses?
Dadashri: The power of the Self
increases a lot.
Questioner: Then what is the connection
energy of the Self and awareness?
Dadashri: Awareness is considered a
part of the energy of the Self. Absence of this energy of the Self means the
presence of worldly knots and confusion, with resultant inability to solve
worldly problems and puzzles. The person with this energy of the Self is never
deluded or confused, no matter what obstacles come forth in the world. Now all
these energies will be manifest in you.
Questioner: Do these energies arise
through practice of brahmacharya?
Dadashri: Yes, only when brahmacharya
is practiced properly and there has not been any slip-ups. It has so happened
that all this knowledge has been given to you before you have learnt how to
handle your self socially.
The energy of the Self will flow towards the
interest and desire of the owner.
What kind of desire do these people have? In
ice-cream, not in Atma.
When the transformation begins, you do not like this
worldly life, you do not like the most beautiful things in this world. The
intense focus now is entirely on the Soul. The direction of ‘like’ has changed.
And when energy of the body rises, you do not like
anything about the soul.
Questioner: How does the energy of the
Self arise?
Dadashri: If you’ve made a firm
resolve of brahmacharya and if you follow my agna, then the energy will rise.
It is not in nature of semen to flow lower and dissipate. It happens to drain because of one’s lack of resolve. Once a firm decision is made, it changes its direction and thereafter, the aura and glow on the face will be apparent to all. If a practitioner of brahmacharya, does not have this aura and glow on the face then the brahmacharya is incomplete, and is yet to be attained.
Questioner: What signs are evident when
the semen energy is rising?
Dadashri: Aura of brilliance and glow
is apparent, power of mind increases, speech comes out first class in the one
who is attaining the energy of brahmacharya. His speech is very sweet. His acts
win you over. These are all the
qualities. This takes a lot of time, it does not happen right away, just like
that.
Questioner: Why do wet dreams happen?
Dadashri: If there is a tank of
water, and the water starts dripping then would you not understand that there
is an overflow occurring from the top? Wet dream is an overflow. When a tank
overflows, should you have a natural outlet?
Therefore if you control what you eat, you would not
have wet dreams. That is why these sadhus eat only once a day. They do not take
anything else, such as tea.
Questioner: In this the evening meal is
important. We should decrease the evening meal.
Dadashri: You do not need an evening
meal at all. This Jain maharaj here
only has one meal per day.
Even then there is no problem of loss of semen in
the wet dream. The Lord has said this too. The force of the full tank will pop
the cork below. Until brahmacharya takes hold, the semen will drain for sure.
The rise of the semen begins with the vow of brahmacharya.
Proceed with great caution. There is no problem if
the semen discharges in a wet dream on its own four times in a month, but you
must not discharge it intentionally with masturbation. That is a mistake. It is
like committing suicide. This is all a
result of eating odd things. Who would give the freedom for this type of
discharge of wet dreams? That master says that there should not even be a
discharge. Then what, should you jump in a well and kill yourself?
Questioner: Is the discharge of semen
part of the nature of the non-self
(pudgal) or is it because there some leakage of ours, somewhere?
Dadashri: When you see someone, and when your vision becomes
sexual, certain part of the semen becomes ‘exhausted’.
Questioner: That also happens with
thoughts.
Dadashri: It becomes ‘exhausted’
through sexual thoughts as well, just as it becomes ‘exhausted’ through the
sexual look. The stock, that has been ‘exhausted’, then discharges.
Questioner: But those who practice
brahmacharya do not have those circumstances, they stay away from women, they
do not keep pictures of women or calendars with pictures of women and yet their
semen discharge occurs. Isn’t this a natural process?
Dadashri: Even then, he can see sex
with in his mind. Secondly, if he eats too much and if too much semen is being
produced from it, then it is possible for it to flow out.
Who does semen not leak out? A person whose semen
becomes very strong, has become very thick, would not leak out. All these
others are semen that has become thin.
Questioner: Can the flow of semen be
stopped through power of the mind?
Dadashri: Power of mind the works a
lot. It is only the power of mind that works. But it has to be in conjunction
with Gnan. Power of mind would not stay on its own.
Questioner: Is the discharge of semen
in dreams due to shortcomings from the past life?
Dadashri: All the shortcomings of the
past go away in the state of dreams. I do not count what happens in the state
of dreams as an offence. I count what happens in the state of awareness as an
offence, awareness with open eyes. Even then, dreams would come. Therefore it
is not worth disregarding them completely. One should be cautious there. After
being in a state of dreams, in the morning, you need to do pratikraman that
this should not happen again. If you follow our five Agnas, not a single sexual
impulse will arise, ever.
If you want to practice brahmacharya then you need
to be cautious. Once the semen energy starts rising, then its upward flow is
automatic. So far this has not
happened. Its nature is still one of discharge and draining down. It is only when
the semen starts rising that everything raises. Then your speech would be
wonderful; the spiritual insights from within would also have blossomed at a
higher level. Once the semen has progressed to a higher level then there would
not be any problems but until then a lot of discipline must be maintained
regarding food intake. For the energy of the semen to rise higher do you not
need to help this person who wants to attain full brahmacharya or would it just
carry on by itself?
If brahmacharya is preserved thus of for a few years
with right control, then the semen energy rises. After that one will retain the
spiritual essence of any of these scriptures and books. Otherwise it is not
easy to retain this essence. You will
forget as soon as you read something.
Questioner: Are the various practices
of yoga like deep breathing, pranayama etc.,
helpful in practicing brahmacharya?
Dadashri: It can be helpful if it is
done with the intention of practicing brahmacharya. The intention should be one
for practicing brahmacharya. If your intention were to improve your health then
it would improve your health. Therefore, it depends on your intent. But do not
get involved in all this, otherwise your Soul would be left behind.
Now the vow of brahmacharya has been taken.
Something unususal happens, then one becomes uneasy and confused. One boy was
uneasy so I asked him, ‘ Why are you so uneasy?’ He told me that he was shy of
telling me something and so I told him to write it on a piece of paper and give
to me. He said, ‘I have wet dreams two to three times a month’. I said to him, ‘Oh dear, why are you so
scared of telling me just that? You do not intend for it to happen, do you?” He
told me emphatically that it was not his intention. So I informed him that if his intentions are pure, then it is
still considered brahmacharya. He wanted to know why it should happen. I asked him that it was just an emptying of
what is being filled. Make sure that
your intent does not get spoiled in this. Preserve this purity of intent. Do
not believe that there is pleasure and happiness in this discharge. If any one
here were confused and uneasy, I would clarify it right away.
If you get involved in a sexual impulse, then the
stock of semen from within would exhaust and drop and go down. There it will
accumulate and then get discharged very quickly. But if that thought that has
arisen as a result of the sexual impulse is uprooted and thrown away as soon as
it comes, then the semen will not exhaust and therefore will not go down. It
will rise to a higher level in the spiritual realm. There is tremendous science
happening within.
Questioner: As soon as the thought
arises?
Dadashri: The moment the sexual
thought arises. It may not come out but it has already separated inside for
discharge. It is no more part of the body. It is ready to be discharged.
Questioner: If pratikraman is done once
it has been separated for discharge, then is it still possible for it to rise
higher?
Dadashri: What happens when you do
pratikraman? It shows that you are detached from it and that you do not have
anything to do with it what so ever.
The karma effects, brought forth from past life, are
bound to discharge. The sexual thought will arise. Any encouragement given to it renders the semen virtually
lifeless and then somehow or the other it will find its way out to be
discharged. If the semen gets retained, and there is not a single thought of
sex, then the energy of semen will
rise. It expresses as the energy of words spoken. The one who practices
brahmacharya gains everything. It manifests in his speech, in his intellect and
in his understanding. In abrahmacharya the words does not take hold in others
or blossom. They are useless. It is
only when the energy of the semen rises that that the speech becomes of top
quality and all the other energies express. All the veils of ignorance are
destroyed.
Otherwise I have already called sex and sexuality a
refuse. All that forms within is happening for the sole purpose of the toilet
and excretion.
When does a sexual thought arise? It does so when
you see someone, an attraction occurs and then the thought arises. Sometimes a
sexual thought may occur without any attraction. Once a thought of sexual
thought arises then mind immediately gets stirred up, and with this stirring
the semen exhausts instantly, on the moment. That is why you should
uproot the sexual thought before it sprouts into a tiny sapling. Everything
else is acceptable, but this sapling of sex is very dangerous and difficult to
destroy.
You must stay away from any touch that hurts your
brahmacharya. You must avoid any company of the person that is harmful to you.
That is why the authors of the scriptures had made so many arrangements for
brahmacharya. Arrangements such as, you should not sit wherever a woman was
sitting previously if you want to practice brahmacharya. You can sit and remain
there, if you want to remain in the worldly life.
Questioner: Therefore, in exact
brahmacharya not even a single sexual thought should arise.
Dadashri: Thoughts cannot be stopped
from coming. The stock of past life stored within you will unfold and therefore
the thoughts will come, but the answer to this is pratikraman. It would be
wrong if one were to insist that thoughts must not arise.
Questioner: Doe that mean that we
should reach that stage?
Dadashri: Yes, but the state where no
sexual thoughts arise, comes from the spiritual development of many life times.
Your progress by doing constant pratikramans will come to a level where there
will be no sexual impulses, and that is the attained brahmacharya. Once
pratikramans start, the end would come after five to ten lives. It may not
necessarily end in one lifetime.
People are not aware of what happens when a sexual
thought arises? They ask what harm is there in just a thought. They do not
realize how a sexual thought that lays the seed of new karma and discharge that
is the effect are connected. If a sexual thought does not arise spontaneously,
then it would come by looking, externally.
[14] Brahmacharya : Eternal Bliss
In this kaliyug, current era of the time cycle
characterized by a progressive decline in spiritual knowledge and moral
deterioration, it is very difficult to practice brahmacharya. Our Gnan is the
ocean of bliss and therefore one’s practice of brahmacharya is possible. What
is the reason for abrahmacharya and sexual indulgence? It is due to the fire of
inner restlessness and discontentment. By working all day long constant inner
burning restlessness arises. To quench this fire of restlessness and discontent
within, one indulges in transient pleasures of sex. Because of this Gnan there
is not a problem for you for moksha but if there is brahmacharya along with it,
the resultant bliss is boundless and eternal. There is endless bliss of the
kind that the world has never experienced before. Infinite bliss is produced
if; thirty-five years of the potentially difficult time, passes without errors
in this vow.
Not every one needs to take the vow of brahmacharya.
It is
only for those whose for whom brahmacharya is ready to unfold. Such persons are
filled with constant thoughts of practicing brahmacharya. Some of them will
then take the vow of brahmacharya. It can be a problem if it is not. What can one say about the vision of the one
who is established in brahmacharya!It is very special. The vow of brahmacharya
can be taken for one year or even for six months. If you keep having thoughts
of brahmacharya despite your repeated efforts to suppress them, only then you
should ask for the vow of brahmacharya, otherwise it is not worth asking for
this vow. It is a tremendous sin to break the vow of brahmacharya after taking
one. Nobody forces you to take this vow.
A lifelong vow of brahmacharya cannot be given, in
this day and age. It is a dangerous to do so. It may be given for a year. If
one takes the vow of lifelong brahmacharya and if he fails then, not only will
he fall, but he would also make me instrument of his fall. Then if I am sitting
next to the vitarag Lord in Mahavideh Kshetra, he will come there and bother
me, ‘Why did you give me the agna? Who told you to be over wise?’. He would not
let me sit in peace with the Lord. He will fall and he will take others with
him. Therefore, you have to continue to hold the deep inner intent for
brahmacharya and I am giving you the strength to do so. Do not rush make your
wishes methodically. The faster you do it, more deficiency there will be in it.
If you take the vow of brahmacharya and follow it at
its fullest without errors, you would achieve a wonderful place in the world
and attain moksha within one lifetime. There is tremendous power in the words
in my agna of brahmacharya. The vow would not break if there is no weakness on
your part. That is how strong the power of my words is.
Until then, severely test yourself to see if the
inner intent is that of jagat kalyan, the salvation of the world, or is it to
feed the ego of false pride? It is possible to find out everything by testing
your self. If this is being done to feed the pride and the ego, that too will dissipate
in time.
If only one pure man is around in this world, then
he alone is enough for the salvation of the entire world! For this, total
absorption in the Self is needed, and nothing but the Self is asked for. Start
by having a constant inner intent for salvation of the world only, for one hour
and at times if the link breaks, start all over again.
When can you do the highest good for the world? It
is easier when there is renunciation and the appearance of it. It is more
difficult when one presents the appearance of the married Even for the latter
it is possible, but only a few will benefit. The public at large will not.
Renunciation should be like ours, the kind that is devoid of the ego. And this
conduct, the attained brahmacharya is a very big thing, of a very high level.
The constant awareness of ‘I am Shuddhatma’, ‘I am
pure Soul’, is the supreme brahmacharya. There is no other bhramacharya like
that. Yet if one wishes to achieve the stage of an acharya level, the level of
an elevated spiritual master then he would need this world recognised
brahmacharya. Presence of a companion lady would not be accepted there.
By just giving up abrahmacharya, the whole world
subsides, effortlessly. By just following brahmacharya the whole world ends,
does it not? Otherwise, you can give up thousands of things and yet not achieve
anything.
By just acquiring the agna of brahmacharya from the
Gnani Purush there is the experience of so much bliss! You have yet to put it
into practice and yet you already experience this bliss. Have you experienced
such bliss?
Questioner: I have experienced it,
Dada. From that very moment, everything became clear inside.
Dadashri: It became clear from the
moment you took the vow, right? You
need a clear mind when you take it. I had checked, his mind was clear at that
time. This is what is called the acceptance of brahmacharya, ideal conduct. In
our Gnan the ideal conduct is to be the knower and the seer. Thus for us all we
have the combination of brahmacharya, the ideal relative conduct and the ideal
real conduct. The world has not tasted the bliss of this combined conduct. It
is completely different.
Questioner: When can you say that one
is free from all sexuality?
Dadashri: When you do not have any
thought of sex whatsoever.
There are no thoughts, no sexual looks or anything
else along these lines regarding sex. It is as if he is ignorant about it, then
it is considered attained brahmacharya.
[15] Awareness Of the Self Against Sexuality
Questioner: How does one know that he has
become engrossed in a sexual thought or sexuality?
Dadashri: ‘Our’ opposition exists in
it. This opposition of ‘ours’ is the anti-engrossment tendency. This objection
itself is the tendency to not get involved. ‘I’ do not want to enter anything
that is sexual, and therefore this opposition of ‘ours’ is there constantly.
The opposition is the separation. If by a mistake there is involvement and
engrossment, then pratikraman must be done.
Questioner: There is definitely a
determined nischaya and the resultant objection against any element of
sexuality, yet circumstances sometimes arise that causes one to become involved
in it, what is that?
Dadashri: You cannot get engrossed if
there is opposition and if you do become engrossed then you are said that have
stumbled. And for that there is pratikraman.
You should use two kinds of visions. You already
have the vision that, ‘he is pure Soul’. The second vision should be used when
an attraction arises. This second vision is the ‘three vision’. If you do not
use the ‘three vision’ you will be deluded and pulled.
Attraction would not occur if one were to see the
body as it is. But this is not possible for ordinary human beings. For me this
is natural. I see everything as it is.
Questioner: I do not understand when
you say you see the body as it is. Please explain.
Dadashri: It means that no matter
what kind of clothes a man or a woman is wearing, the first vision is that of
nakedness, the second vision is of that without skin, and the third vision is
of all the internal organs and contents. Will there be any sexual attraction
then?
If you see a woman and you immediately take your
eyes away from her, but your eyes keep going there only, your eyes keep getting
pulled there, then that is called a ‘file’. Therefore this is the only mistake
you have to understand, in this day and age.
Questioner: Can you please clarify more as to how to purify this
vision?
Dadashri: Once you acquire the
awareness of ‘I am pure Soul’ then your vision will become pure. If youslip and experience a sexual
impulse, then you should speak aloud
five to ten times, “I am shuddhatma, I am shuddhatma, I am shuddhatma”, or say,
“I am like Dada Bhagwan, free from all
sexual impulses”, and the awareness will return. This is all you have to do,
nothing else. This is science that can produce results right away and if you
neglect it just a bit, you will be thrown in a different direction.
Questioner: How does the awareness
decrease?
Dadashri: A veil of ignorance comes over him. The energy that protects and
upholds brahmacharya is veiled. It becomes blunt. Therefore the awareness
becomes dim. Once this energy that preserves brahmacharya becomes blunt, it is
as good as being useless and it does not help. Then he suffers, suffers a lot.
Then the inner lawyers, the mind, the intellect will feed and nourish the wrong
understanding, ‘ so much has been attained in this Gnan, there is no real
problem now’.
Questioner: What energy is it that
protects the energy of brahmacharya?
Dadashri: Once you have slipped, the
protective energy that existed becomes blunt and weak, inefficient. Just like a bottle of milk with a loose
cork, if it is lying on its side the milk will flow out by itself, whereas
before we had to remove the cork.
[16] Five Pure People For Salvation
You just have to decide that ‘I will never slip’,
and if you slip then I have to forgive you. If ever anything deteriorates
within for you, you must let me know immediately so that a solution is given to
you. It will not improve right away; there is always the possibility of
deterioration.
Until you know the consequences of your mistake,
that mistake will keep recurring. Why does anyone not fall into a well? Why is
it that lawyers make fewer mistakes? It is because they know that their mistakes
will have consequences. Therefore you should be aware of consequences of your
mistakes. You must, first find out the consequences of what you are doing
wrong.
For those who have constant contemplation of Dada,
the Gnani, all ‘locks’ get unlocked, all the problems get solved. Oneness with
Dada is contemplation. This occurs only when one has a lot of meritorious karma
effect. Contemplation of the Gnani reaps direct fruits. That contemplation
gives you energies similar to his.
Gnani’s Self-state is beyond imagination and yields unbelievable
results. He can make you like him. Contemplation of the Gnani makes one
absolutely and totally independent. Thereafter you will not feel that, ‘today I did have his satsang, I did not
have his darshan’. With contemplation of the Gnani, you have to become as
independent as a Gnani.
Who, in this world, can obstruct the one who has
made a very strong decision to be the instrument for the salvation of the
world, for jagat kalyan? There is no power that can stop him. All the celestial
gods of the universe shower him with flowers and bless him. Therefore, why
don’t you decide on that goal? From the moment you decide that, you would not
have to worry about the requirements of your body. As long as any intent for
anything worldly remains, you will have to worry about the requirements of your
body. Look, how much prosperity and worldly ease this ‘Dada’ has. If there
exists only this one desire, then one is blessed. And the authority of the
celestial gods is with you. These gods do have very real power and authority.
That will continually help you. There is a need of only five persons with this
exclusive goal. In it there must not be anything else, no other subtle aims or
desires. In times of difficulties or in sleep, there should be only this one
goal.
Remain very alert and keep the ‘Gnani Purush’ over
your head constantly at all times. You never know when you will encounter
difficulties. At that time ask for
Dada’s help or summon him and he will be present.
There is no one to bother you if you are pure. Even
if the whole world turns against you I can handle them alone. I know that you
are pure and so I am capable of handling anyone. I have to be assured hundred
percent. You cannot handle the whole world therefore I have to take your side.
So, do not worry at all. There is no one in this world to bother you if you are
pure. Dada can confront anyone in the whole world who talks about him, because
he is absolutely a pure person. His mind is pure too.
[17] Exclusive Nature Of Brahmacharya In Akram Vignan
Brahmacharya has been accepted by the whole world.
Without brahmacharya, the Self can never be attained.
Any one who is against brahmacharya will never attain the Self. One must
continuously vigilant against all elements of sexuality. Here even a second of
inattention will not do.
Questioner: How much relation is there
between brahmacharya and moksha (liberation)?
Dadashri: There is a lot of
relation. The Self cannot be experienced without
brahmacharya. You will never know,‘is this bliss from sex or is it from the
Self?’
Questioner: There are two types of
brahmacharya practioners. One is that practiced in a married state and the
other in an unmarried state. Which is the higher of the two?
Dadashri: One practiced after getting
married is higher but it is very difficult to do so. We have so many married
people practicing brahmacharya, but they are all in their forties.
Ultimately, even the married person will have let go
of sex for last ten to fifteen years of life. They will have to be free from
everything. Lord Mahavir too, was free in the last forty-two years of his life.
There are endless difficulties with a woman in this worldly life. Difficulties
begin from the time they are joined together in matrimony. How can two minds think alike? How long can they
think alike? Suppose, if they both liked the kadhi soup, but what about the
prepared vegetables? Here the two minds would not think alike and hence they
attain nothing. There is never harmony where there are differences in opinions.
Gnani Purush is ‘open too sky’, without any secrets.
He is available no matter what time of the night you go to him. I do not have
to practice brahmacharya. I do not even think about sex. This body does not
have those atoms of sexuality. That is why such speech related to brahmacharya
comes out. No one has spoken about brahmacharya. People themselves are sexual
and involved in sexaulity and therefore they have not spoken against sex. And
here, I have spoken enough about brahmacharya that a whole book can be
published. I have spoken about it in its entire spectrum. This is no atom or
subatomic particle of sexuality remains. I remain detached from my body and
live like a neighbor with my body. Otherwise, this type of wonder would never
be found, would it?
If you eat a fruit but eat with repentance, then new
seed would not be sown and if you eat with pleasure that, ‘Yes, today I really
enjoyed myself’, then new seed would be sown.
Otherwise this brahmacharya will slack off if you
relax even a little. Therefore do not relax, remain strict. ‘I do not want this
even if I die’. Such strictness is needed.
Even at a very young age, I could not understand why
people see happiness in sex? What kind of a thing this is? Since a very young
age I have acquired this practice of ‘three visions’. That is why I feel apathy towards this and I have a strong
aversion. Whereas, other people go for sex,
and worship it. What kind of foolishness is this?
Questioner: Can the previous
shortcomings of the past life showing up now, be gotten rid of through strong
decision (nischaya)?
Dadashri: Yes, you can get rid of
all shortcomings. A firm decision can achieve
anything.
When very tough circumstances of sexual environment
and forces unfold in your life they may unsettle you. Now what does tough
circumstance mean? Say if you are sitting in a very strongly built room, and
many people outside are very angry towards you, even if five thousand people
out side are angry and shouting at you,
‘We will kill you’, what would you do? Let them shout as much as they
want to. You are safe in your strong
room. Similarly, if you remain calm, nothing will happen to you, but if you
waver and become afraid then the other thing would latch on to you. Therefore,
whatever karma unfolds, maintain your stability and inner calm by saying, ‘I am
pure Soul and this is not mine’. You must remain strong this way. It will come
again and confuse you for a little while, but nothing can happen if you
maintain your steadfast calm.
These boys who practice brahmacharya are practicing
it in their mind, speech and body. Outside, others can never practice
brahmacharya of their mind. They do so only with their speech and their body.
With our Gnan, you can practice it through your mind also. If brahmacharya can
be practiced through mind, speech and body then there is no greater energy that
can be achieved than this. My five Agnas can be followed with that energy with
ease. How can the five Agnas be followed without the energies of brahmacharya? Energy of brahmacharya is entirely a
different thing.
These brahmacharis, both boys and girls, are getting
ready. For these young girls, there would not be any need for applying
lipsticks and powder, when there is the radiance of brahmacharya on their
faces. There will be an aura and glow like that of lion’s cub. That is when you
will realize that, that there is something special here. This science of the
vitarags is such that if it is assimilated with understanding, then it is like
digesting the milk of a lioness. The result is majestic like that of the cub of
a lion. Otherwise it would look like a goat.
Questioner: These people are refusing
to get married. Is it not called an obstructing karma towards liberation?
Dadashri: If we go to Bhadaran from
here, does that mean that we have created towards going to other cities? One
goes wherever it is convenient for him. Let me explain obstructive karma. When
you are giving something to someone who needs it, and I tell you that it is not
worth giving him. Then I have created an obstruction, and hence I would not get
that help from anyone when I am in need, in my next life. I created hindrance
towards that item for my self.
Questioner: If you want to practice
brahmacharya, can this be called karma?
Dadashri: Yes, it is definitely
called karma. You bind karma with this. As long as there is ignorance of the
Self, there is karma, whether it is brahmacharya or abrahmacharya. Brahmacharya
binds merit karma and abrahmacharya binds demerit karma.
Questioner: What is the reward for someone who encourages brahmacharya, gives
encouragement to brahmacharis and aids them in every way?
Dadashri: What do we want to do with
the reward? We want to attain liberation after only one more life, then where
are you going to store the reward? You may be rewarded with hundred wives. What
are you going to do with such a reward? You do not want to enjoy such a reward.
So, he had already asked me, ‘All this that I am doing now, would it bind
merit karma?’ I told him that he would
not bind any karma. At this time all this is in the form of discharge and all
the seeds have been roasted in the Gnan Vidhi.
Questioner: All these people who become
brahmacharis, is brahmacharya in their discharge?
Dadashri: Yes, it is in their
discharge. But along with this discharge they have an inner intent, and that is
a charge. It is because of this inner intent that the brahmacharya remains
strong. Otherwise discharge would always weaken it. And with the inner intent,
that he wants to practice brahmacharya, strength is maintained. The only doer
ship in this Akram Vignan, is that of following the Agnas that I have given
you. Anything that has to be followed, there is doer ship in it. Therefore in,
‘I want to practice brahmacharya’ there is doer ship. Otherwise brahmacharya is
a discharge.
Questioner: But, is practicing
brahmacharya a doer ship?
Dadashri: Yes, to ‘practice’ is doer
ship. And the fruit of this doer ship will be the samyak merit deed in the next
life. That means that, in your next life, you will receive whatever you wish
without any difficulty and with all that ease attain moksha. You can have the
darshan of tirthankaras and you can also get a chance to stay next to the
tirthankara. There, all your circumstances will be very wonderful.
Questioner: What is the connection
between fasting on Sunday and practicing brahmacharya?
Dadashri: What is fasting on Sunday
for? It is to oppose and confront sexuality. You do not want sexuality to come
to you; therefore by confronting proactively you begin to become free from
sexual impulses. I make him confront sex because he cannot let go of sexuality.
These are all melons; these are all simmering melons of kaliyug. You cannot let
go of anything, leave alone sexuality, and therefore you have to find some bold
means do you not?
Actually, this science is such that one cannot say,
‘You do this and you do that’, but this era of the time cycle is such that I
have to. These peoples’ ultimate outcome is uncertain. They may go on to the
wrong path, after acquiring the Gnan, and that is why I have to say this. There
are no problems when power of my words is present and working in them. Then
they do not bear any responsibility of doer ship if they follow my words. When
I say, ‘You do this’, then you are not responsible and my responsibility does
not remain because I am the eternal non-doer.
Now who would leave this unique state for which
there are no words good enough for praise, for a state, which can be praised
with worldly words? Who would touch the refuse of the whole world when there is
Gnan? The Gnani Purush sees all the vishayas, objects of enjoyment of the
world, as refuse. What is the rule of this world? Any person who does not have any thoughts about wealth, does not
have any thoughts of vishaya and who continuously stays detached from his body,
the world will call him God.
[18] Dada Gives Encouragement to Aptaputris
The world does not know that all this is wrapped up
and disguised with a silk cloth. It is the refuse that you do not like, that is
wrapped in a silk cloth. Do you not think so? If you only realize this then you
will experience apathy towards sexual desires. People do not realise this and
that is why this world continues the way it does. Do any of the ladies have
such awareness? What would you find when you peel a good-looking man?
What would you find in a well-groomed and dressed
man, when you cut him open? Ladies deluded with illusion of sexuality do not
see this and hence are they are overwhelmed by his good looks. I can see
clearly through him.
Women should not look at men with sexual intent and
vice versa, because they are of no use to you. What is there to see in what
Dada calls a refuse?
The rules of attraction exist. They are that
attraction occurs towards only certain person, the attraction does not occur
with everyone. Now, I will tell you what causes this attraction.
If no sexual attraction is happening in this life,
yet when you see a certain young man and you feel, ‘this boy is so handsome, he
is so good looking’. Then you have instantly sown a seed for your next life.
With this, sexual attraction will happen in your next life.
Nischaya means that you do not need to be reminded
of it. It is simply there. It is your state. It remains as the foundation of
your awareness, ‘I am pure Soul’. The relative circumstances unfolding in front
of you may make it seem that you have forgotten it, but no, it is there. That
is nischaya.
Inner visual contemplation (niddidhyasan) happens
the moment you think, ‘This woman is good looking or this man is good looking’.
It lasts that long. Then one becomes that. Therefore, this problem arises only
when you look, does it not? Instead, keep your eyes focused downwards and do
not make any eye contact. The whole world is a trap. There is no freedom after
been trapped. You will go through life after life and not see an end to it.
A husband who remains yours and who never forgets
you for a second is a worthy husband. But this will never happen. So why then mess with these men who are by
nature disloyal?
Therefore, in this day and age, people are not
hungry for love. They are hungry for sex. Those who are hungry for love, they
will not mind if they do not have sex at all. You have to do darshan and revere
such a person. These people are hungry for sex. Hunger for sex means refuse and
nothing else.
If there is an intense love then there is a worldly
life for him. Otherwise the living is for sex as a refuse only. The sexual love
like the necessity of nature. Its like going to the toilet. Isn’t this nature’s
call? Sita and Rajchandraji were married, weren’t they? When Sita was abducted,
Rama’s chit was in Sita and Sita’s chit was in Rama. They were not able to have
sex for fourteen years, yet their chit was in each other. This is called a
marriage. Otherwise these are called nature’s forces. Nature’s necessity!
Therefore, it is a problem only if you have a
husband, is it not? But if you have taken a vow of brahmacharya, then there is
no sex or husband related problems. And if you have such a Gnan, then your
problem is solved.
This lady’s firm decision is, ‘I want to attain
moksha within one life. I cannot afford to stay here, therefore I want only one
more life’. Therefore she received all the means to achieve that and she also
received the agna of brahmacharya.
Questioner: Will we also have one more
life before liberation?
Dadashri: For you, it will take some
time. For now, let things carry on according to what I say. One life liberation
is possible only after coming into the agna of
brahmacharya and also, attaining Gnan. Even without the agna of
brahmacharya moksha will occur within two to four lives. You have to receive
and follow the agna of brahmacharya if you want liberation in just one more
life.
After coming into this Gnan you have to follow my
agnas. As yet I have not given you the agna for brahmacharya. I am not
quick to give that because not everyone will know or be comfortable in
following it. For this, you need a very strong mind.
If you want to practice brahmacharya, you must be
cautious that not a single thought about another man arises. And if it does
then erase it right away.
One is shuddhachetan (pure consciousness, pure Soul,
the Self) and the other is mishrachetan (mixed consciousness, worldly self). If
you get entrapped with mishrachetan, a man, then, even if you have achieved the
pure Self, it can lead you astray. Therefore if a relation of sexual
interaction occurs, then wandering begins. You want to go to moksha and if that
man is going into the animal kingdom, he will drag you down along with him. You
will have to go there because you built a relationship with him. So you must
see to it that a sexual relation does not occur. When the mind is free from
sex, then only it is called ideal relative conduct. Then you would be ready for
your role as an aptaputri( young woman trained by the Gnani for the work of
salvation of the world, a female brahmachari). The mind fractures when it
corrupts with sexual inclinations and indulgence. Otherwise there is so much
power within every girl. It is no ordinary power. If the ladies are from
Hindustan and they have this science of the vitarag, then what else is left for
them?
You have to acquire your salvation by being blessed
by the ‘Gnani Purush’. Once you become
the Self and reamain as the Self, others around will be blessed without any
words. Nothing is gained from people
who just keep on talking, Nothing happens by just giving lectures or talking.
On the contrary, the intellect becomes emotional by talking. Just by observing
the Gnani and his ways, his and his conduct, by observing worldly form, all the inner intents of any
worldly nature dissolve. Therefore become that. By staying near Gnani Purush,
become like him. How many countless souls will be blessed if only five girls
become like me. They must become completely pure, and in presence of the Gnani Purush, they can and will become
pure.
BRAHMACHARYA
Celibacy Attained With Understanding
PART TWO
Section: One
The Keys of Brahmacharya For Married People
[1] Fearlessness In Sex, Not Sex, Is Poison
This science of brahmacharya will liberate anyone,
and is applicable to even married people. The following of the agna of the
Gnani Purush is required. Somebody with a false pride may say, ‘I want to marry
another one’. To this I would say that have to be capable of it. People in the
past had multiple wives. Emperor Bharat had thirteen hundred queens and he
still attained total liberation. Would he have attained moksha if queens
represented any obstruction? Then what is the obstruction to liberation? It is ignorance of the Self.
Sex is not poison, but
fearlessness in sex is poison. Therefore, do not be concerned. All the
scriptures have said it aloud that sex is poison. How is it poison? Can sex
ever be poisonous? It is fearlessness in sex that is poison. If sex was poison
then, and for all you householders and married people, I would have had to come
and push you out to the Jain monasteries where you would be forced to avoid
sexuality of all kinds. But do I need to drive anyone?
The Lord has separated all
living beings into two divisions; those who are in this worldly life and those
who are liberated. Those who are liberated are called the siddha and the rest are sansari, involved in
mundane worldly life. Therefore, if you are
an ascetic, a renunciator,
, you are still a sansari just
as much as the married householder. So,
do not worry. Worldly married life is not an obstruction to liberation, sexual
interaction is not an obstruction to liberation. It is ignorance of the Self
that is the obstruction. That is why I have written; that sex is not poison,
fearlessness in sex is poison.
If sex was indeed poison,
then Lord Mahavir would never have become fully enlightened tirthankara.. He
too had a daughter. Therefore, fearlessness in sex is poison. If you feel, ‘
Nothing will hurt me in sex’, then that is poison.
I have given the word fear so that one would have
fear in sex. Involvement is sexuality should be the last resort. So, what I am
saying is have fear in sex and sexuality. Even the Lord himself was fearful in
sex as were all the mighty Gnanis. Who
then are you not to be fearful of sex? Just like, if there is a lot of
delicious food, you can enjoy it but have fear and moderation in enjoying it
because you will suffer if you eat too much. Therefore, have some fear and
moderation.
Questioner: After becoming the pure
Soul, shuddhatma in Akram Vignan, should I have sexual interactions with my
wife and if so, with what intents? Here, how can I deal with equanimity here?
Dadashri: If you have a wife, then
you both have to reach an acceptable solution for both in sexual matters. Your sexual dealings should be such that it is
acceptable by both of you. Stop any interaction, which is acceptable to one and
not to other. You should not hurt your wife in any manner.
I am telling you that this medicine of sex is a
sweet medicine. Just as you take any medicine in the right dose, take this
medicine of sex in right dose. When does married life excel? It does so when
you take the medicine only when both of you have a fever. Does any one take
medicine without a fever? If one takes medicine without a fever, the married
life would not attain harmony. Therefore it should be taken only if both have a
sexual fever. You do not take medicine everyday just because it is sweet.
All these highly evolved souls, such as Rama-Sita,
had control over their passions. They has sexual control. Is abrahmacharya a divine quality? No, that
is a bestial quality. Humans lose their human-ness with abrahmacharya. The
world does not understand what sex is. Millions of lives die in only one act of
sex through the loss of millions of living sperms. This is tremendous violence.
Not realizing this, people believe sexual act to be the highest pleasure. They
do not understand that a life is precious and must not be lost except as a last
resort. But what happens when there is no understanding?
You have acquired my thermometer now. This is the
instrument by which you are to proceed. Fever for both. Otherwise not. That is
why I say that I have liberated you even with a wife. No one has made this
simple for you. A very simple and straightforward path has been given to you.
It is up to you to make the fullest good use of it. It is extremely simple.
This has never happened before. This is the pure path, acceptable to the Lord.
Questioner: If the wife has no desire,
fever, what should she do if she has to take the ‘medicine’ given to her by
force by her husband?
Dadashri: What can she do? Who asked
her to get married?
Questioner: The fault is of the
sufferer, accepted. Please Dada, please
show me a way, and show me some way out of sex, by things like pratikraman, or
something like that.
Dadashri: Only through making him
understand that Dada has said this is not something that you can keep taking.
Why don’t we take this medicine six to eight times a month? The method is this:
We are to remain still in our understanding, then our body and mind will follow
and then the problem with the file will be settled with equanimity.
Therefore, in Akram Vignan, sexual relation with
your wife is considered brahmacharya. But this has to be with discriminative
understanding and your all inclinations and impulses of a sexual nature towards
anyone else except uour wife must not exist. If such errors happen they must
cleansed instantly with frequent pratikramans. This for this era I define as
brahmacharya. Why? It is because he remains within his bounds of his rightful
sexuality. Such a married brahmachari
will eventually understand that even such sex with his wife is a grave mistake
and he will let go of his right of sex with his wife.
[2] Sexual Transactions By The Sexual Look
These days everything has become like an open free
market of sex, has it not? At the end of the day it may seem that you have not
done any trading in sex, but this is not so. The inner sexual look is trading
for sure. It happens without your awareness. This inner sexual trade of twelve
or fourteen transactions has happened just by seeing them. This would not happen if our Gnan awareness
were present. You will see the pure Soul within a woman passing by, but how can
others see that?
If we’ve gone to somebody’s wedding, do you not see
a lot of attractive human beings of both sexes? You not have made about a
hundred sexual trades without your knowledge. That
is how it is all. It is not your fault. This happens to all the human beings.
They are drawn to anything attractive. It goes for both, women and men. A
transaction is made as soon as they see anything
attractive.
It is possible to eradicate these sexual impulses
and transactions with the right intellect, even in the absence of Gnan. I had
done so with my intellect. People remain rampant in sexuality because of lack
of right intellect.
[3] The Horrors Of Illicit Sex
If you are living a married life, you may indulge in
sex that is rightfully yours and never even think of that which is not yours,
because the consequences of illicit sex are very grave. And if you have
renounced sex then you should never look towards anything sexual. It is inhuman
to take what is not rightfully yours, to wish for what is not rightfully yours
and to wish for sex that is not rightfully yours. Should there not be a line of
demarcation between what is rightfully yours and what is not? You should never
cross that line. Still, people have crossed that line, have they not? This is
called beastliness. There is no problem in enjoying what is rightfully yours.
Questioner: Which tendency is that
which drags one to enjoy sex which is not rightfully his or hers?
Dadashri: The intent of deceit and
theft.
By disregarding what is rightfully yours, if sexual
activity occurs with another woman, you will have to take birth wherever that
woman goes. If she goes to a lower life form, you too will have to go there
with her. These days, this happens everywhere. Have you any idea where your
next birth will be?’ People who have entered into sexual interactions that are
not rightfully theirs will have to suffer painful miseries. Even their
daughters would become characterless. The rule is that the person with whom you
have interacted sexually that was not rightfully yours will, in lives to come,
become your mother or your daughter.
Even the Lord allows sex with your wife, not with
anyone else. If He were to refuse even this then he would be guilty. If
repentance is done for all illicit sex, then also one can be freed. But these
people are enjoying with gusto all forms of sexuality what is not rightfully
theirs and that is why they bind a very strong knot of many many lives suffering.
Illicit sex is a violation of all the five major
vows given by the Lord. In that, you commit himsa (violence), you tell lies,
and you openly stealing. It is a day light robbery. Then, abrahmacharya is
definitely there and the fifth violation is parigraha (possession).
Abrahmacharya is the biggest parigraha. The Lord says that, there is liberation
for the one who indulges in rightful sex but there is no liberation for the one
who indulges in illicit sex.
These people do not understand much. They are like a
stray animal that is always looking for food ant tries to get it from wherever
it can. They will look for sex from where ever they can get it. Are you
familiar with buffalos and it’s relatives? They would clean up anybody’s farm.
There are very few people who have an understanding
of the importance of brahmacharya. As long as they have not tasted illicit sex
they are relatively safe. As soon as they taste it, they go wild. This does not
suit us. Our Hindustan has such spiritually developed people. We are all here
for liberation.
Illicit abrahmacharya is such that a wife or a
mistress of one’s in this life birth may become his mother or his daughter in
his next life. Such are the dangers of this sexual world. That is why wise men
practiced brahmacharya and got out of it by attaining liberation.
[4] Sexual Loyalty In Marriage Is Brahmacharya
For the one who is married, I have made just one
rule, and that is that he must not look at any other woman sexually. And if
such a look happens, then do pratikraman and decide never to let it happen
again. Here is the definition of a married brahmachari. He does not look at any
other woman. He never looks at any other woman sexually. He is free from sexual
impulses when he looks at any other woman. He is very sincerely repentant if a
sexual intent and look arises when he looks at any other woman.
Three thousand years ago, in Hindustan, ninety
percent of men were married brahmacharis described above. How good were these
people? Whereas today there might be, perhaps one in a thousand like them.
Questioner: Say if one has two wives,
what is wrong in that?
Dadashri: Go ahead and have two wives. There is no problem in
this. There is no problem in having even five wives. But if your intentions
towards another woman become sexual, if another woman passes by and sexual
impulses arise, then it is wrong. Shouldn’t there be some principles and rules?
There is no problem in having multiple wives. There
is a rule in Islam that you should not have sexuality towards women who are not
your wives. If you cannot be satisfied with one wife, then have two. They have
the rule that you are free to have up to four wives. Who tells you not to keep
four wives if you can afford do so? Let people talk if they want to. But you
should not hurt any of them.
In this day and age, I consider sexual loyalty to
one wife brahmacharya, and I guarantee
you that you will reap the same fruits of brahmacharya as they did in the times
of the Lord Mahavir was walking on this earth.
Questioner: With regards to sexual
loyalty to the wife, does the rule apply to the mind and its sexual thoughts
towards other women? It may be possible to be loyal by acts, but what about the
roving mind and thoughts?
Dadashri: The loyalty should also be
at the subtle level of the mind too. Whenever the mind goes to another woman
sexually, you should stay detached from it and continue doing her pratikraman.
What is the limit for moksha? The limit is where there loyalty to one wife and
one husband with the mind, speech and body in sexual matters exists.
As the breaths of life increase in frequency, the
lifespan decreases. When is the maximum number of breaths used? It is in fear,
in anger, in greed, in deceit and most of all in the sexual act with a woman.
In the sexual act with a wife, they are used up more, but in illicit sex with
any other woman they are used up much more. It is as though a reel has been
suddenly unwound.
Questioner: Are the celestial gods
sexually loyal to only their devi, their wife?
Dadashri: They are loyal to their
devi, their goddess. When they see
someone else’s goddess and they may have a thought in their mind that ‘she is
better than mine’, this can happen, but there would not be any changes in what
already exists.
Questioner: There is no question of
having sons in the celestial world, yet they do enjoy sex and each other, do
they not?
Dadashri: Their sexuality is not like
the one here. This is nothing but refuse. The gods would not even remain here.
What is sexuality like over there? When his goddess comes in, his sexual desire
is satisfied, just by looking at her. That is all. Certain gods are such that
by just touching each other’s hands and squeezing them, their sexual act is
over. As the gods’ spiritual levels
rise to higher levels, their sexuality becomes less. For some, the sexual act
culminates just by talking. There are some gods who are simply satisfied by
having goddesses around for about an hour and there are some gods who do not
have any need for a woman. Therefore, there are all kinds of gods in the
celestial life form world.
[5] The Deceit That Perpetuates Life After Life As A Woman
Having sex with a partner who is not married to you
is this life’s cause to go to hell. If you want to go to hell then think of
doing this. I have no problem with that. If it were convenient to you, I would
describe the miseries of hell. You will have a fever just listening to it, then
imagine what would happen if you had to actually suffer those pains? There is no problem of sex with your own
wife.
Nature has accepted relation between a husband and a
wife. There is no problem if this relationship does not give rise to desires
for illicit sexual desires. Nature has made that much allowance. Rightful sex
would not result in demerit deeds whereas there are innumerable demerit karmas
in illicit sex. Just in one sexual act
even with the wife, millions of life forms die. Are these few demerit karmas?
But it is still not as big demerit karma as having sex with woman other than
one’s own wife. There is no sin higher than the sin of illicit sex
Questioner: Who are the most likely to
go to hell?
Dadashri: Rapists go to the seventh
hell. Whatever pleasure they had experienced, when they experience infinitely
higher misery and pain, they will decide that they do not want to go to hell
anymore. Therefore, in this world if there is anything that you most definitely
should not do, it is to rape someone. Never allow your intentions to be tainted
sexually. One who rapes anyone goes to hell and has nothing but constant suffering
there. In this world there is nothing higher than a woman’s chastity.
In this satsang if you have such a treacherous
sexual thought than I would say that any further satsang is meaningless. Here,
this type of behavior would not be tolerated at all and if this ever came into
my attention, I will throw you out.
Whatever mistakes one has made in this world so far,
whatever serious mistakes they may be, if one brings them to me, and if he were
never going to make them again in this life, then I would cleanse him in every
way.
Do you feel any repentance when listening to this?
Questioner: Yes, I do feel a lot.
Dadashri: If you burn your sins in
repentance even then your bad deeds would end. After listening to all this, if
you were to ask me, “What would happen to me?” I would reassure you that I
would help you. There are conditions. You have to wisen up from today. From the
moment you become aware of illicit sexual impulses, know this mistake and do
pratikramans with sincerity. I would get rid of your ticket to hell because I
have the ways to do so. This is the power of the Gnani Purush. I will show you
what to do next. Then it would all disappear and I would do many other vidhis,
special blessings, for you.
Would people not point finger at you if you were
having an affair with another woman? So, this is going against the standards of
the world and secondly, you experience so many worries and tension internally.
The sufferings in hell are like burning in the electric gas for a long time.
There is one hell where the suffering is from the electric heat and in the
other hell the suffering is from extreme cold. It is so cold there that if we
throw the Pavagadh Mountain in it, it would not remain as a solid rock. It will
disintegrate into minute little particles.
There are a lot of dangers involved in having sex
with a woman other than your wife. You would have to follow her wherever she
goes in her next life. She may come as your mother in the next life. I have
seen in my Gnan that there are so many sons, these days, born to their
mistresses of their previous life. The son would be of an upper caste and the
mother would be of a lower caste. The mother would go to the lower caste and
the son would have to go from an upper caste to a lower caste again. Look at
these terrible dangers. The woman of past life would become your mother in this
birth, and the mother of this birth would become your wife in your next birth.
Such are the horrible dangers of this sexual world. In short, make sure you
understand this. Prakruti, this complex of thoughts, speech and acts, is not
sexual. You are sexual. I have said this before in a different way. But I have
said all along that only this is the one serious danger.
Questioner: Is there any danger if both
the person love illicit sex?
Dadashri: There is a danger even if
both parties consent to it. What is the benefit if both parties agree? You will
have to go wherever she goes. You want attain moksha but her actions are of
this kind, then what would happen to you? It would never work. That is why all
the scriptures say that; the right discriminative approach is for the people to
get married. Whose home will be safe from stray cattle? Then how would there
ever be a safe side? Why aren’t you saying anything? Are you worried about your
past?
Questioner: Yes.
Dadashri: I will cleanse it all for
you. All I want is from is that after meeting me there must not be any more
errors. I have lots of solutions to free you from any of your past errors. You
can tell me in private. I will cleanse it all for you. Human beings are prone
to mistakes, especially in this Kaliyug. It is impossible not to make a mistake
in this Kaliyug.
There is no problem in divorcing one person and
marrying another, but you have to marry.
There must be a boundary. One without any boundary is like an ownerless
bull. Then there is no difference between him and the bull.
Questioner: What if one has a mistress?
Dadashri: If you want to keep a
mistress, she should be officially registered. Then there should not be another
one.
Questioner: You cannot register,
because then she would ask for her share of my wealth and that creates endless
other problems.
Dadashri: You have to give her, her
share of your wealth, if you want a taste of her
sex. Why don’t you wisen up for this one life?
Why are you doing all this? You have done this for endless lives. Why
not behave for this one life? There is no other choice if you want true bliss.
Does a snake straighten up or remain crooked when entering its burrow?
Questioner: It straightens first. I
understood only today that it is wrong to have a woman other than my wife.
Until now, I did not see anything wrong in this.
Dadashri: Nobody, in any of your past
lives, has made you experience that this is wrong, otherwise who would fall
into this hell? This brings on hell.
After acquiring this Akram Vignan of ours, if you
repent heartily then all such serious errors of your past would be destroyed.
With true repentence even those who have not received this Gnan, will be freed,
but not completely. For you, who have received this Gnan, if you continuously
repent heavily, over all elements of sexuality, then you will be free from all your errors and their future
consequences.
Questioner: Recently, you spoke about
man becoming a source of encouragement for a woman perpetuating her deciet, in
matters of sex. The advances of the man deceive the woman. In our worldly
dealings, if I am at all responsible for worsening her original deceit that is
part of her nature as a woman, please do a vidhi (special blessing) for me so
that I may be freed from this responsibility.
Dadashri: Yes, I will do the vidhi
for you. Man is responsible for increase in the increase in deceit of the
woman. Many men are unaware of their responsibility in this. Even while he is following my Agnas in every way, what
does he tell the woman when trying to enjoy her sexually? He would tell her
that there is nothing wrong in what they are doing. So the poor woman gives in
and succumbs. She does not want to have sex and wasn’t going to do so. Yet her
prakruti, her nature as a woman is such that it is difficult for her to rise
above sex, so it becomes excited at that time. But who is responsible for this
result? The man is.
All these women have slipped into womanhood; become
women, because of this. If someone says something sweet to her, she surrenders
to him. This is very subtle. This is difficult to comprehend.
It is only because of sex that one has become a
woman. Man has perpetuated the state of
the woman in order to enjoy sex. He encourages her, showers compliments on her
and thus corrupts her. Even when she may not have any beauty or charm, she
believes she has. What makes her believe so? She has been brainwashed by men,
into believing, ‘What is wrong in it?’ She has not believed that on her own.
Man has always told her, ‘you are very beautiful, there is no other woman like
you’; she believes it. Man has kept a woman as a women life after life by this
falsehood for his own pleasure. And the
woman believes that she is making a fool of the man. A man enjoys her and moves
on. You do not seem to understand much,
do you? May be a little?
Questioner: I can understand it
completely. So far I had the understanding that, men were free from any faults
in the matters of sex. But from today’s talk, I realize that men become very
responsible in this way.
Dadashri: Man only is responsible. To
keep a woman as a woman is man’s doing.
Whatever happens, if the husband is not there, if
the husband has died even then she does not give in to another man. No matter
what the other man is, even if God himself comes down as a man, she will still
say no, “ I have a husband, he is my Lord”. This is called a sati. Can any one be considered a sati these days?
It is not always like this, is it? Times are different now days aren’t they? In
Satyug times there were some satis.
This is for one who wishes to be a sati. This way
they can one day become a sati. Today, do you know that sex is being sold at
the price of bangles? Do you not understand what I am saying?
Questioner: Yes, it is being sold at the price of bangles.
Dadashri: At which market? In colleges?
At what price is it being sold? Sex is sold at the price of gold. Some
is sold at the price of diamonds. Not everywhere. Some do not even accept gold.
No matter what you offer them, they will not accept it. But other women sell
sex these days, if not at the price of gold then at some other price.
A sati is a chaste woman. Sati is a woman who has
one husband. Through mind, body and speech she has no use for any other
man. One may not be a sati to begin
with, but she too can become a sati from the moment she makes a firm decision
to be so, even if she has been corrupted in sex before.
Questioner: Will the deceit begin to
dissolve as that chastity and the resolve for it is preserved?
Dadashri: Once the chastity through
thoughts, speech and acts begins, the deceit begins to leave. You do not have
to do anything. Those traditional satis were so from birth. They did not have a
blemish as far as sex was concerned.
And, for you the blemishes of sexual misconduct of this life remain and
therefore you have to attain liberation by becoming a man again in the next
life. Everything ends right here when one becomes a sati, brahmacharya in
action. All the women who become satis attained liberation directly. Can you
understand this a little? You will have to become a sati, pure, to attain
moksha.
Questioner: Yes. Therefore it is not a fact that a woman
would remain as a woman for a long time in multiple lives. But because the
women do not know this knowledge and solution, they are lost.
Dadashri: If the solution happens
then a woman is a man really. These poor women do not understand this tuber of
sexuality and deceit within them which part of their nature. And in matters of
sexuality they have a lot of interest. They derive pleasure from it. And they
remain stuck in sexuality. No one knows
the subtle way out and no one shows the way out. Only the satis know it. Apart
from her husband, she never thinks of anyone else. If her husband dies suddenly
or goes away, even then she would not. To her, he is the only husband. All the
deceit of these satis dissolves.
People suspect their daughters who are just going
out to school. They even suspect their own wives. These types of treacheries
exist. Isn’t there treachery even in the homes today? In this kaliyug there is
treachery in one’s own home. Kaliyug means the time of treachery. There is
nothing but deceit and treachery. For what happiness do they do all this? Even
that is done in gross unawareness.
Questioner: What adjustments does one
have to make where tubers of suspicion have already been formed in one’s mind?
Dadashri: The faults of sexual
misconduct that you see in a person, do you think that they are new and did not
exist before? Have they arisen out of the blue? That is why it is worth
understanding that this is how it all is in this world. In this day and age do
not judge anyone by his or her sexual conduct. This is how it is everywhere. It
may not be openly evident but their minds are filled with sexual misconduct and
wrong sexual impulses. And in all this world of sexuality, the woman is the
storehouse of sexual deceit and illusion. That is why the life after life as a
woman is perpetuated and there is no escape from it. Of all this therefore, the
fortunate ones are the ones who become free from all elements of sexuality and
attain brahmacharya.
Questioner: We know that this is going
on all around, yet when the mind suspects someone, we get engrossed in it. What
adjustments do we take there?
Dadashri: Having realized the Self,
do not get involved in anything else.
Remain as the Self. Everything else is of the foreign department; the
non-Self and You should remain in the home department, the Self. Why don’t you
remain as the Self? This type of Gnan cannot be attained over and over again,
therefore get your work done. One gentleman kept getting suspicious about his
wife. I asked him what caused him to be suspicious? Was he suspicious because
he saw something? Was it not occurring before he saw it? The ones who get
caught, people call them thieves. But those that do not get caught, are all
thieves from within.
What is there to be scared of when you are the pure
Soul? This is all discharge of what had been charged in your past life. The
whole world is clearly a discharge. There is nothing other than discharge in
this world. That is why I say that there is no one at fault because it is all a
discharge.
Questioner: So, does the law of karma
works there too?
Dadashri: Yes, it is the law of karma
that is working, nothing else. It is not the fault of the man; it is the karma
that makes him spin. But suspicion will kill him for no reason.
Therefore, whoever wants peace regarding the sexual
conduct of his wife, he should marry an ugly woman so that no one would have
sexual impulses for her. No one will be willing to keep her. And she herself
would say, ‘No one would keep me. It is just this husband that I have found who
would keep me’. That is why she would remain very sincere to you. Otherwise, if
she were beautiful, people would enjoy her with sexual looks. If she is pretty,
people will look at her with sexual intentions. When I see a man who marries a
beautiful woman, I think what would happen to the poor man!
A man would forget God if his wife is very
beautiful, would he not? And if the husband were very handsome, the wife would
forget God. That is why everything in moderation is good.
These people are such that wherever they see a
‘hotel’ (place of sexual gratification), they would ‘eat’ (enjoy). So it is not
worth being suspicious, in this world. Suspicions cause pain and heartaches.
Both, women and men, ‘eat’ whenever they see a ‘hotel’.
Men and women teach each other a lesson in sexuality,
but women win at the end because men do not have deceit in them. That is why
women deceive men.
When sincerity and morality was present, the worldly
life was worth living. Today there is tremendous amount of deceit. No man would
go back to his wife if I revealed everything about his wife. I know everything
about everyone but I never say or do anything about it. Man is often disloyal, but a woman is the
factory of deceit. The museum of deceits exists not anywhere else, except in a
woman.
These men start suspecting their wives if they come
home a little late. Suspicions are not worth having. Nothing is going to happen outside of the karmic accounts. Try
and make her understand when she comes home but do not be suspicious of her.
Suspicions breed suspicion and invite disaster. Yes, you should warn her, but
not suspect her. A suspicious person misses the opportunity to be free.
Therefore, if you want to be free and attain liberation you should not be
suspicious. If you see your wife in another man’s arms, does that mean you have
to kill yourself?
Questioner: No, why should I do that?
Dadashri: Then what will you do?
Questioner: First display some dramatic
anger and then I would try and make her understand. After that, whatever
happens is ‘vyavasthit’.
Dadashri: Yes, that is correct.
[6] Zero Sex: Zero Clashes
Where do quarrels occur in this world? Only where
there is infatuation and attraction. For how long the quarrels exist? As long
as sexual interaction exists, quarrels exist. Then you start doing
‘mine-yours’, ‘Pick up your bag from here. Why have your kept saris in my bag?”
etc. These quarrels exist as long as you are united in sex. And once you have
become free from sex, there is no problem even if the things are kept in your
bag. These quarrels would not take place then, would they?
Questioner: But seeing all this sends
shivers down my body. It is also amazing that, despite daily quarrels, husband
or wife does not feel like coming up with a solution, is it not?
Dadashri: This has been going on for
so many years, since getting married. They quarrel on one hand and continue to
have sex with each other on the other hand. That is why I have said that both
should take the vow of brahmacharya, and then your life would be of the highest
quality. All the fights are for selfish reasons. She knows that he is not going
to go anywhere away from her. He too knows that she is not going to go away
from him. Thus everything remains, the fights and the sex, unchanged.
Misery of dependency on sex is greater than the
transient happiness derived from it.
When one realizes this, he will be free from the false infatuation and
vice grip of sex. It is then only that he would impress females. Otherwise they
feel that they can play with him through the medium of sexuality. The
impression of this nature gradually leads to an aura of awe and respect.
Thereafter they leave him alone. Otherwise, even the greatest of spiritual men
in this world have suffered at the hands of women and their sexual ploy. Only the vitarags, liberated ones have understood this, as is. It is because of
their aura of purity that women stayed away from them. Otherwise women carry so
much power that they can make any man helplessly subordinate to them in no
time. This is the nature, sexual character of women. You must stay away from
women. You must not try and deceive them otherwise you yourself will come under
their deception. And this web of misery has been happening for many lives..
When a woman pushes her husband around and scolds
him repeatedly, what is the reason behind it? It is because the man is deeply
entrenched in sexual gratification. Woman does not push him around just because
she feeds him food; she does so because of sex. No woman would push a man
around if he were not interested in sex. She takes advantage of this weakness
but if there were no weakness, she would not be able to do bother him in any
manner. Women are very deceitful and men are naive. So the men have to keep
sexual desire under control for two to four months. She will then get tired and
she would not be able to control the man.
When will a woman respect you and be deferential to
you? If you were very sensitive about sex, easily aroused by sexuality, then
she would control you. If you are sexual but not sensitive, not easily aroused,
then she will develop respect for you. If she invites you for sex and you say
not now, after two to three days, then she stays under your command. Otherwise
you will be under her control. I understood this at the age of fifteen. Some
people beg for sex. You fool, do you have to beg for sex? What would then
happen to you if you do? What will the woman do? She will abuse you. She will
boss you around, ‘Hold this child, and go take care of him’. Our mahatmas have
sex but they do not have the craving for it.
One woman makes her husband prostrate to her four
times, before she will allow him to touch her once. You fool, why don’t you go
jump in the ocean instead, what is wrong in doing that? Take samadhi, final
peace, in the sea, at least the sea is straightforward; at least there is no
hassle there. What kind of nonsense is this of prostrating for sex?
Questioner: Before, I used to think
that all these clashes and arguments in the home were due to matters and work
of the household. And when I try to help out, they still continue.
Dadashri: Those disputes and clashes
will continue. As long as there is sexual interaction, clashes will continue.
This is the root of all clashes. The person who has conquered sex, has such an
aura of commanding respect about him that no one will bother him, no one can
conquer him.
When sexual interaction with Hiraba stopped, I
started calling her ‘Hiraba’(ba means mother). After that we haven’t had any
difficulties. And whatever difficulties and clashes we had before, were due to
sex. But as long as there is the after effect of the bite of sex the clash tend
to remain. Even after cessation of overt sexual interaction, the after effects
of the prior sexual interaction remain for some time and then end. So do the
clash. I am telling you this from personal experience.
Look at the wonder of this science! All the clashes,
not only with the wife, but with the whole world stop. This science is such,
and you are free when all clashes end.
When an intense dislike for sex arises, only then
would sex stops. Otherwise, how else can it be stopped?
[7] Sex is Beastliness
People of my time were very good about one thing.
They did not harbor much sexual thoughts. They did not have sexual intentions
towards women. There were may be five to seven percent of such people who were
sexually hungry. They would seek widows who had no one else living at
home. In my youth every girl was
addressed as sister, even if she was not related. This was the common practice.
Until the age of ten to eleven there was such innocence in sexual matters that
I used to run around without any shorts.
No thoughts about sex would arise, so there was not
a problem. That is why there were no hassles. There was no awareness of sex.
Questioner: Was this because of some
kind of a community pressure?
Dadashri: No, not due to any
community pressure. It is the upbringing, the values instilled by the parents.
A three-year-old child would not know that its parents have this kind of a
relationship. This is how good their secrecy was. And if need be, then on that
day the children would be sleeping in another room. These are the values of the
parents. These days, the bedrooms are here and there. Plus they have double
beds, do they not?
In those days, no man would sleep in the same area
where a woman was sleeping. There was a saying, in those days, that if a man
sleeps whole night with a woman, he would become a woman. Her female nature
would influence him. So no one did this. It is some smart person who discovered
about sleeping together so that double beds keep selling. This has been the
cause of the downfall of people. What has one gained from this downfall? All
the contempt for the females has disappeared. Now it would not take long to
make the ones who have gone down to go up.
How can there be double beds in Hindustan? What
types of animals are they? The men and women of Hindustan were never together
in one room. They always stayed in separate rooms. But instead, look at it
nowadays. Nowadays the father himself makes the bedroom with a double bed for
his son. And so they take it for granted that this is the practice in the
world. I have seen all this.
If men left the company of women and stayed away
from them for fifteen days, they would become like God.
What is unaccompanied ‘shaiyasan’? [shaiyasan =
shaiya (bed) + asan (seat) ] It means that you do not share your bed or your
seat with anyone including the opposite sex.
There is no type of touching by husband and wife. The writers of
scriptures used to believe to the extent that if you sit on the same seat that
an opposite sex was sitting, then you will be affected by him or her, you would
have thoughts about them.
Questioner: What form of karma is bound
from sexual interaction and sexuality?
Dadashri: The karma of entry into the
animal life form is bound. The entire spectrum of sexuality is itself the
animal state. In the olden days in Hindustan there used to be sexless sex. That
is, sex was only for the purpose of giving a gift of son or a daughter.
Questioner: Dada, you stress
brahmacharya and show abhorrence towards abrahmacharya. But by encouraging this
the population of humans in this world will also decrease. What is your opinion
about this?
Dadashri: There has not been any
decrease in population after so many surgeries like vasectomy and tubal
ligation, then how is brahmacharya going to decrease it? They are trying to
reduce the population through surgeries and still it is not going down.
Brahmacharya is a great thing for liberation.
Questioner: Is it not considered
abhorrence towards a natural process?
Dadashri: This sexuality in man is
not a natural process. It is pure animal behavior. If it was a natural process,
there would not be a need for brahmacharya. These poor animals practice
brahmacharya. They have sex only for fifteen-twenty days in certain seasons and
then they do not.
[8] The Continuous Bliss Of The Self: Brahmacharya
Questioner: After receiving this Gnan,
Dadashri’s Gnan, is brahmacharya a must
do thing?
Dadashri: It is a must for those who
can practice it and it is not necessary for those who cannot. If it was amust
then those not practicing brahmacharya would not be able to sleep at night, in
the fear of not been able to attain liberation. It is enough to just realize
that abrahmacharya is wrong.
Questioner: Philosophers say that
suppressing sex is against the law of nature, and makes one even more perverted
in sexuality. They say that sex is necessary for good health.
Dadashri: They are right. Sex is
necessary for those who are ignorant of the Self, the worldly people. Those who
understand brahmacharya do not need sex. The one who does not understand
brahmacharya cannot be bound by the rules of brahmacharya otherwise, major
damage will be done, and he will be destroyed.
Sex is such a thing that one day’s sexuality would
not let one attain any meaningful concentration on anything for three days.
There would be instability in the concentration, focus and task at hand. When
one abstains from all forms of sexuality for a month, his stability in
concentration and focus is greatly improved.
Abrahmacharya and alcohol are two things that bring
a very heavy veil of ignorance over Gnan. Therefore, one must be very vigilant
in these two matters. Alcohol is such that it makes one forget, ‘I am Chandulal’, then the pure Soul would
definitely be forgotten, would it not? That is why the Lord has said that you
should be scared of it. The person, who has a complete experience of the Self,
would not be affected. Still there lies tremendous danger in its ability to
uproot the Lord’s Gnan and throw it out.
The one who wants to have the total experience of
the Self must definitely not have any element of sexuality, and that too is not
a rule. If, in the last fifteen years of his last life, one has been free of
sexuality, then it is good enough. It is not necessary to take up this extreme
exercise of brahmacharya life after life. Letting go of sexuality should be a
natural process so that it goes away on its own. Your unflinching internal
decision should be that until you attain liberation, whatever two to four more
lives you may have left, would be without marriage. There is nothing like it.
How long will this total experience of the Self
elude you? As long as any element of sexual impulses or sexuality remains this
will not happen. This means that when pleasure arises it is difficult to
discern exactly whether it stems from the Self or from the sex. If brahmacharya
is present then it could be understood ‘on the moment’ that it indeed is the
bliss of the Self. When one has this total clear experience of the Self, then
one becomes the fully enlightened Lord.
[9] Try The Vow of Brahmacharya
I keep warning you to pay attention to this but to
take heed is not easy for you. Yet, by experimenting with brahmacharya, say for
three to five days or for a whole week in a month one will feel wonderful. If
one has practiced brahmacharya for a week in a month, then by the middle of the
week he will experience tremendous bliss. The bliss of the Self will express.
This bliss is beyond description.
Some people say that they cannot get rid of
sexuality. I ask, why are you acting crazy? Why don’t you set some disciplined
limit for yourself and then make sure that you stick to it. In this day and
age, nothing can be achieved without discipline. Some flexibility is allowed.
Questioner: What does one do in a
situation where a man wants to practice brahmacharya but his wife does not?
Dadashri: If she does not wish to,
then try and make her understand.
Questioner: How should I make her
understand?
Dadashri: You have to keep making her
understand and gradually it will happen. It does not happen instantly. By
continuous discussions and mutual understanding it will happen. Both of you
will have to come to a meaningful compromise. You
have to discuss and think about the harm of abrahmacharya and thoughts related
to this.
You will have to get rid of sex if you want
liberation. There are about a thousand mahatmas who take this yearlong vow of
brahmacharya. ‘Grant us a yearlong vow of brahmacharya, Dada,’ they say. They
come to know all the benefits within a year.
Abrahmacharya is indecision. Indecision is not
related to the unfolding of karma.
I was shocked after talking to four to five
mahatmas. I told them that this falsehood of sexuality would not do. This is
the indecision. You will definitely have to get rid of it. Brahmacharya is
needed first. You are really a brahmachari by way of being the Self, but you
cannot be in abrahmacharya in worldly interactions. This is a clear conflict.
One who does not have any opinions about
brahmacharya or abrahmacharya is considered to be in brahmacharya. To
constantly remain the Self is my brahmacharya. That does not mean that I do not
accept the external brahmacharya of thoughts, speech and acts. As you are
living a married life, I have to say that there is no problem with
abrahmacharya, but your opinion for abrahmacharya must not exist. Your opinion
should always be for brahmacharya. Abrahmacharya for you is a file that needs
to be settled with equanimity. You are not able to experience the bliss of the
Self because you are still stuck with your old opinions about sexuality and
abrahmacharya. Once these opinions leave, you will be able to experience the
bliss of the Self. The veil of opinion for abrahmacharya obstructs your clear
vision and bliss. The opinion must be exclusively that of, and for brahmacharya
only. What is a vow? A vow is that which continues its experience effortlessly.
When is the mahavrat of brahmacharya attained? It is the experience that there
is not an iota of the thought of abrahmacharya, and no memory of it.
[10] Confession Avoids Dangers Of Breakage Of Vow
The Lord has said that the vow can only be broken if
you break it yourself. How can someone else make you break it? Someone else
cannot break it. If vow is broken, once it is taken, then the soul will also
leave. Once you have taken the vow it should not be broken. If you do, you must
admit and say that now your power and control is gone.
[11] Power of Conduct
The ideal conduct of worldly interactions means the
conduct of the pudgal, the non-Self. This is visible through these eyes. When
the other, the real ideal conduct, the total experience of the Self arises, one
is considered to have become God. At the moment this, the Self is your darshan
(vision), then it will be your Gnan (knowledge) but it will take time to
manifest as your conduct, as the experience of the Self. Still, this real
conduct has begun because this is Akram Vignan, but it would be difficult for
you to understand this.
Questioner: What more
can we do for ideal worldy conduct?
Dadashri: Nothing. What else can you do for the worldly
conduct? Staying in the Agnas of the Gnani is the ideal worldly conduct and if
ever brahmacharya were added to this, it would be much better. And then only it is considered the ideal
worldly conduct with a bonus.
The only key to winning the world is if when the
subject of sex does not become the object of sex. Sex exists. It is there
everywhere. When no element of involvement in sex remains then the world has
been won. The world can be transformed. Others will be transformed by seeing
your sheel. Sheel means total purity in the world, combined with the absolute
experience of the Self. Otherwise no
one will transform. On the contrary there would be an adverse effect. Nowadays
where is sheel to be found?
All the twenty-four tirthankaras have talked about a
need for a separate bed and a separate seat, because two prakrutis (people,
non-Self) are never completely adjustable with each other. Therefore, they will
keep ‘disadjusting’ (misadjusting), and hence perpetuation of the worldly life.
That is why the Lord had discovered this concept of separate bed and separate
seat.
Section Two
The Path of Brahmacharya With Awareness Of The Self
[1] Even A Sexual Impulse Is Dangerous
Even the Lord had fear of sexuality. The vitarags
have never had any fear of anything, except of sexuality. What I mean by fear
is that if a snake comes in then wouldn’t every person lift their feet up?
[2] The Dangers Of The Unsatisfied Appetite Of Sex
Those who are not satiated in their hunger for food,
their chit will roam around food and when they see a restaurant they will get
stuck there. Is food the only vishaya,
object of satisfaction? There are these five senses and there are so many
objects of satisfaction through them. When you have not been satisfied with
eating, you will be attracted to more food. Similarly if you are not satisfied
in sexual looking, you will keep look around with all kinds of sexual cravings.
When a man has not been satisfied by a woman and vice versa, their chit would
be stuck in sexuality only. The Lord has called this moha, the illusion and the
attachment. It gets stuck the moment you see what has not satisfied you. The
chit gets stuck as soon as it sees a woman.
He sees, ‘this is a woman’. This is the disease of
the man. If a man has this disease then he will see the woman, otherwise he
will see only the Self in that person. To see, ‘This is a man’, is the disease
of the woman. Moksha happens when this disease is eradicated. I am free from
this disease now. These thoughts never
come to me.
A man and a woman must never touch each other.
Therein lies tremendous danger. Until one has become Absolute, they should not
touch. One atom of sexuality entering you has the potential of ruining many
lives. I do not have a single atom of sexuality within me. Pratikraman should
be done immediately, if even one atom gets corrupted. Pratikraman prevents any sexual intent arising in the other
person.
Ignorance of the Self, coupled with the present
worldly knowledge, gives rise to attachment and attraction. If you can visualize the entire life
spectrum of this woman that you are attracted to, you will be free from the
attachment and the attraction. If you visualize with understanding what she
looked like in the womb, what she looked like when she was born, when she was a
little baby, when she becomes very old, when paralysis happens, when she is
about to be cremated, you do not need to be taught renunciation. People have
lost this vision of their worldly reality by what they see today. This is maya,
the illusion.
[3] Endless Claims From the Happiness of Vishaya
None of the objects of the four senses bother us and
the fifth object, the object of touch, involves another living being. This
person will lay a claim against you. Therefore
the problem lies only in the sexual touch with a woman. This is called a living
‘file’. If you want to stop any further sexual interaction, she would say that it is not acceptable. She would say,
‘Then why did you marry me?’ Therefore, this living ‘file’ would make demands.
How can you afford any demands? So you must not have any sexual touch with any
living being.
Demands begin because no two minds can become one.
Except for the sexual interaction and act all activities of the body involves
only one mind. Therefore in all the rest of things done by a human being there
are no claims or demands.
Questioner: Does one enjoy sex with attachment or with
abhorrence?
Dadashri: With
attraction and attachment and later that attachment gives rise to
dislike and abhorrence.
Questioner: As a result of this abhorrence that follows in sex,
aren’t more karma bound?
Dadashri: It binds tremendous animosity and vengeance. In the
absence of Gnan, even if the person does not like sex, he binds karma and if he
likes it then also he binds karma. He would not bind any karma in the presence
of Gnan.
Therefore, wherever and whichever ‘shop’ (person)
your mind gets entangled in, the shuddhatma, pure Soul within that same ‘shop’
has the capacity to release you. Therefore you must ask the pure Soul within
her to free you from the account and entaglement of sex and abrahmacharya. You
would not be able to free yourself if you ask for this release elsewhere. Only
the pure Soul within that person will able to free you from your sexual
account.
Sexuality is born out of attraction and from that
occurs repulsion. The seeds of revenge in the next life are planted when
revulsion and repulsion follows attraction in sex. The world s on this ‘foundation’ of revenge. There is no
potential for revenge with the mangoes or potatoes.
Whatever happiness you have taken in sex, it is all
borrowed happiness. It was a loan to
you. And a loan means that it has to be paid back. You will have no problems
once it has been paid back.
[4] The Sexual Act Is Not A Discharge
There was a Maharaj, Jain teacher, who used to say a
lot about sex in his spiritual talks but when the topic of greed came, he would
not say a word. Some intelligent person wondered why he never talked about
greed? He talks about everything else, including sex. He went to the Maharaj
and without his knowledge he opened his small bundle. He saw that there was a
gold coin in his book, so he took it and went away. When the Maharaj opened the
bundle he discovered that the gold coin wasn’t there. He looked for coin but he
could not find it. Next day Maharaj started talking about greed in his
discourse that one must not be greedy.
So if you are involved in sexuality, then sexuality
will start leaving you if you start talking about it, because you have started
opposing sexuality in your mind. The mind’s vote on sex is different from
yours. The mind realizes that you have become an adversary and so it’s vote
will not carry any weight. But people do not say anything about sex because the
deceit of sex, continuance in sex, exists within them. Also it is also not easy to talk openly
against sexuality.
Questioner: Some people think that there
is no importance of brahmacharya whatsoever in Akram Vignan. They say that
everything in Akram including sexuality is only a discharge.
Dadashri: This is not the meaning of
Akram Vignan at all. Anyone who thinks like that has not understood ‘the path
of Akram’ at all. If he has understood then I would not have the need to say
anything about sex again. The path of Akram means that discharge is considered
as discharge. But for these people sexuality does not remain as discharge. They
still have severe temptations inside that render them supporting sexuality with
all its attendant dangers vigorously. Their continuance in sexuality is because
they do not oppose sexuality at all. Has anyone really understood discharge?
Discharge is only discharge when one does not interfere in what is discharging.
[5] Ignorance Is The Root Cause Of Life After Life
The whole foundation of this world is the five
vishayas. This is the enjoyment of the objects through the five senses. Those
who are free from this are free.
Questioner: What is the fundamental
difference between vishaya, which is enjoyed through the five senses and
kashaya, which are anger, pride, attachment and greed?
Dadashri: Kashaya is the cause for the next life and vishaya is the effect
of the past life. Therefore there is a tremendous difference between the two.
Questioner: Could you explain that in
detail please?
Dadashri: All the vishayas that are
present now are the result of the past life. That is why I do not scold you
that if you want moksha then go and stay by yourself; I do not keep pushing you
away from your wife, do I? But I have seen through Gnan that vishaya is the
result of past life. That is why I have told you to go home and go to sleep,
deal peacefully with your files. I destroy the cause of your next life but I
cannot destroy the results of your previous life. No one can destroy that. Even
Lord Mahavir cannot destroy it. Lord Mahavir too had to remain in the worldly
life for thirty years and had a child. The exact meaning of vishaya and kashaya
is being unfolded here, but people would not know anything about this. Only
Lord Mahavir knew what this means.
Questioner: It is because of the
vishaya that the kashayas have arisen, right?
Dadashri: No. All vishayas are
vishayas but kashayas arise due to ignorance of the Self during the unfolding
of vishayas. If Gnan present, it would not give rise to any kashaya. From where
did the kashaya arise? All the kashayas arise from vishaya. But it is not the
fault of vishaya. It is the fault of ignorance of the Self. This ignorance is the root cause of vishaya.
[6] The Self Is Beyond Sex
The nature of vishaya is different and the nature of
the Self is different. The Self has never enjoyed any the vishayas of the five
senses. And yet people normally say that my soul, self, enjoyed the sex. Would
the Self ever enjoy anything? That is why Lord Krishna has said, ‘the vishayas
are delving into vishayas’. This is difficult for people to understand. They
will simply say, ‘I am the enjoyer’. If they say what Lord Krishna says that, ‘
the sex is happening in sex, and the Self has nothing to do with it, it is very
subtle’, they will abuse this knowledge and become even more indiscriminate in
sexual matters.
[7] The Science Of Attraction and Repulsion
This has all arisen from attraction. The whole world
exists due to small and large attractions. God has no role in this. It is only
due to attraction. The interaction between a man and a woman is also
attraction. The attraction between a man and a woman is just like the
attraction between a needle and a magnet. One is not attracted to all the
women. Only if parmanus (atoms) were similar then attraction would occur with
that woman. After the attraction occurs if the man decides that he does not
want to be attracted, he will still be pulled towards her.
Questioner: Isn’t that an account of
the past life?
Dadashri: If you think that as
account then the whole world would be considered an account. But attraction
occurs because there is an account of subatomic particles the two. At the moment the attachment that arises is
not really an attachment. If there is a needle and a magnet, and if the magnet
is turned then the needle would start moving, although there is no life in the
two. Yet, because of the quality of the magnet there is attraction between the
two. Similarly, when there are suitable atoms in the body, attraction occurs
with that person. There is a magnet in the other. There is an electric body in
this. Just as the magnet attracts metal and not any other metals, the
attraction has effects on the other person.
It is because of electricity that these atoms arise
and are attracted. Just like the needle and the magnet, did anyone else get
involved? Did we teach the needle to start jumping up and down in the vicinity
of a magnet?
Therefore, this body is all a science. Everything is
happening scientifically. Now, when attraction takes place, one would say, ‘ I
am attracted’. Does the Self get attracted or attached? The Self is vitarag,
eternally unattached. The Self is beyond attachment and abhorrence. This is all an illusion and if
this illusion leaves, there is nothing.
Questioner: Is there a need for pratikraman for attraction?
Dadashri: But of course! If attraction or repulsion occurs to
this body then you have to tell Chandubhai, ‘Chandubhai, attraction is
occurring therefore do pratikraman’, then the attraction would stop. Both,
attraction and repulsion are the causes for wandering life after life.
[8] The Scientific Guide for Brahmacharya
This type of book has never happened in Hindustan.
You would not find such a book in Hindustan. This is because those who attained
brahmacharya in all its glory did not stay behind to tell others. And those who
are not true brahmacharis have remained to talk about it but they have not
written anything about it. If they do not attain full brahmacharya then how can
they write? One cannot openly discuss the faults they themselves carry. The twenty-four tirthankaras, who had attained total
brahmacharya are all gone. Krupadudev
has also talked about this a little.
Only the
people who have read our book on brahmacharya can practice brahmacharya.
Otherwise do you think it is easy?
Jai Sat Chit Anand
The Awareness Of The Eternal Is Bliss
This book is a translation of the abridged version of the Gujarati book, 'Samaj thhi praapt brahmacharya', edited by Dr. Niruben Amin originally published in 1997. The final print version of this book is expected to be available by July 2005. Date of Web Upload: August 6, 2004.
Please note that this book has satsang on ways to attain Brahmacharya for all, the married as well as the single person.
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