Celibacy Attained With Understanding
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EDITORIAL
This
book is a compilation of satsang with Gnani Purush Dadashri on the major topic
of sexuality and all its overt and subtle aspects. The nature of sexuality, its
clear and present life dangers, as well as potential dangers for the lives to
come are described by the Gnani and then the beneficial effects of brahmacharya
are shown with scientific exactness. Precise understanding, of practical
attainment of brahmacharya, gained by eradicating the root cause of sexuality,
is given to the seeker. Taking into deep consideration the varying levels of
spiritual understanding of the seeker, this abridged version of the two major
volumes on brahmacharya, has been edited to provide the complete spectrum of the
ways to attain total brahmacharya with understanding.
In Part One, Section One: Contains the explosively powerful words of the Gnani Purush,
that will dissipate all elements of sexuality and result in tremendous
dispassion towards sex. The world, which is immersed in the illusion of false
enjoyment of sex, is awakened to the reality of the poison that it truly is.
Then, what is the right approach to bliss and how to attain it are provided.
In Part One Section Two: Having
become convinced of the benefits of brahmacharya and truly inspired by this
discussion, the aspirant then dares to scale the mountain of brahmacharya and
expresses his willingness to do so. Having met the Gnai Purush and with his
continued nearness and grace, he takes the firm vow to be free from all elements
of sexuality through the mind, speech and the body. The Gnani Purush then
unfolds for him and remains there for him on this mighty path of brahmacharya
filled with all kinds of temptations, pitfalls and obstructions. The Gnani
remains with him until the attainment of total brahmacharya.
It is a wonder to see people
jump willingly into the very
cesspool of sexuality life after life, from which they have come out
soiled and stinking, after great difficulties! These people are really
stuck in the refuse and are yearning for escape but cannot find the way out. For
these who really want a release from this suffering, this unique new vision of
the Gnani Purush becomes the exclusive and guaranteed key to total liberation.
From all joint interactions of
the thoughts, speech and acts of sexuality the mahatma followers of Akram Vignan
experience a constant separation and bliss that is the Self. This is the living
experience of the married mahatmas who have to interact sexually as part of
their unfolding karma, while holding still their desire to rise in brahmacharya.
This means that the married state is not an obstruction to brahmacharya!! This
is taken into details in Part Two of Section One of this book.
The practical applied
brahmacharya of the married state, the awareness of the Self in it, the line of
demarcation between the effect of karma and the independent effort of the
awakened Self, the vigilance against the horrors of illicit sex, the profuse
inner remorse for any sexual impulses, the precise and continuous opposition
towards any form of sexuality, the constant pratikramans towards any errors of
subtle nature etc are discussed here. Furthermore, very subtle scientific
explanations that are relevant in the matter of gross sexuality versus the
subtlest nature of the Self, the enjoyer of sex versus the total detached state
of the Self, the real doer of the faults versus the need to become faultless in
matters of worldly sex are all discussed with great clarity so that there is no
room for misapplication of these lofty principles for any loopholes and wanton
freedom in sex.
What lofty heights of vision
the Gnani Purush, in the great freedom of the fully enlightened Self, who moves
about unbound by any circumstance of the material world, unveils for us all!! He
initiates the cause brahmacharya in the light of this absolute vision and
experiential bliss for all who come to him seeking freedom from the clutches of
sexuality and its misery.
The uninterrupted pure
brahmacharya through the medium of thoughts, speech and acts that is the exact
prerequisite for final liberation, is that which stills one eternally in the
supreme bliss of the Self, uprooting all elements of worldly life interactions.
In this era of the Kaliyug this amazing feat is indeed possible through ‘Akram
Vignan’! The one who preserves such brahmacharya with the help of Akram Vignan
has a guarantee of liberation in one more lifetime.
In this environment rampant
with profuse sexuality and its vibrations all around the Gnani Purush’s
extraordinary and effective speech demolishes all elements of sexuality and
illusion of the seeker and makes him still in brahmacharya with understanding.
The reader is requested to use these great words of the Gnani with deference and
care so that the desired aim is attained.
Dr. Niruben Amin.
BRAHMACHARYA
Celibacy Attained With Understanding
PART ONE
Section One
The Real Nature Of Sexuality As Seen By The Gnani Purush
[1]
The Detailed Analysis Of Sexuality
Dadashri: Yes men and women happen to be part of nature. The account
and result of brahmacharya in this life is also a natural account.
This world is the fruit of man’s deep inner intent. This intent is laid
down as a seed in the past life and the fruits come forth in this life. If you
had the deep inner intent for brahmacharya in your past life, then brahmacharya
will unfold in this life. The world is your own projection.
Questioner:
For what benefits should one practice brahmacharya?
Dadashri: If you get hurt here on this arm and you start
bleeding, why do you do everything to stop the bleeding? What is the benefit?
Questioner: We do not bleed excessively.
Dadashri:
What would happen if you do bleed excessively?
Questioner:
The body will become weak.
Dadashri:
So it is with abrahmacharya (incontinence of sexual impulses), the body becomes
weak. All the diseases in the body are due to abrahmacharya. Yogurt is not the
end product of milk. Yogurt is
converted to cream, which is finally converted to butter. Similarly, all that
you eat and drink, the air you breathe, results in a final product, which is the
essence of the body. Brahmacharya is the ultimate essence of this complex of
intake and output, this living body.
There are two things in this
world that one should not waste. One is money and the other is semen. All the
money in this world is going down the drain. It should not be used for oneself.
Money should not be misused and one should practice brahmacharya as much as
possible. The ultimate extract of our nourishment is semen and it is dissipated
and lost in sex. There are certain nerves in the body that help preserve semen
and this in turn protects the body. Therefore, brahmacharya should be preserved
as much as possible.
Questioner:
But, I still do not understand why one should practice brahmacharya?
Dadashri:
I am not trying to force you into doing anything. You should be able to
understand by yourself. It is a different matter if you cannot practice
brahmacharya, but you should never oppose brahmacharya. Brahmacharya is
the best tool for health and spiritual progress.
Let go of this talk of
brahmacharya. Do not practice brahmacharya. I am not of the opinion that you
have to practice brahmacharya. I do tell people to get married. I do not have
any objection to people getting married.
Those who desire the pleasures
of worldly life and have a desire for material things, they should get married
and those who do not like worldly pleasures and are seeking eternal happiness,
should not get married.
Questioner:
Is it true that the married people attain real knowledge, atmagnan later than
those who are not yet married?
Dadashri:
If a married couple takes a vow of brahmacharya, they will understand the bliss
of the Self completely. Otherwise, they cannot understand whether their
happiness comes from sexual gratification or from the pure Soul.
Those, who are under the vow of brahmacharya, experience eternal bliss of
the Self within. Their mind and body both remain healthy.
Questioner:
Then, is the state of the Self the same for the one who is married
and the one practicing brahmacharya?
Dadashri:
The person who is under the vow of brahmacharya will never fall, no matter how
bad the difficulties. That is called safe side.
Brahmacharya
is the king of the body. A person practicing brahmacharya has a wonderful mind.
Brahmacharya is the extract of the entire living body.
Questioner:
This
extract of the body, the vitality, does not go to waste does it?
Dadashri:
No. The vitality may dissipate. It
does become useless in sex does it not? That extract is a very different matter.
Lord Mahavir had the extract of brahmacharya for forty-two years.
Vitality is the ultimate extract of all the extracts from the food we
eat. If this extract is properly preserved, one can quickly attain the Self. One
will be protected from the pains of the world and all bodily ailments. There
will be no suffering of any kind.
Questioner:
Does brahmacharya not come under the non-Self?
Dadashri:
Yes, but it is the final balance and extract of the living body.
Questioner:
Then how does the extract of the non-Self, the living body, help the Self?
Dadashri:
The Self will only be attained through the attainment of the extract of the
living body, the non-Self. This is always the case in the traditional spiritual
Kramic path. Without this there is no progress and one will have difficulty in
remembering and saying simple sentences of scriptures. Because the Gnan that I
have given you is Akram (direct, step-less), this does not matter.
Questioner:
Does this mean that there is a connection between brahmacharya and the
experience of the Self?
Dadashri:
Of course there is. That is the
main point. With brahmacharya you can achieve whatever you want to. With
brahmacharya your worldly aims will be accomplished. You will be able to follow
your vows and commitments. There is ease of further progress in all directions.
The extract of non-Self, brahmacharya is a big thing. If this is present it
opens the Self.
No one has provided a real
understanding on the subject sex to anybody. That is because people themselves
are involved in sexuality. The saints and sages in the olden days were very
sincere and that is why they could talk and make people understand about it.
That sex is poison is not
known. If they did know that sex is poison, they would stay away from it.
Therefore the Lord says that the fruit of knowledge of the Self is continuity.
What is the fruit of worldly knowledge? To stop. One has not known the danger of
sex and therefore he does not stop.
If
there is anything to fear, it is the fear of sexuality. There is no other
reason, in this world, where fear is necessary. Therefore, beware of sex, just
like you would be with snakes, scorpions or a tiger.
After earning merit karmas over
countless lives, one attains birth in a family with good culture and high moral
standing. But all this is lost in
pursuit of sex and money.
So many people ask me, ‘What
is there in this sex that my whole body feels like death after experiencing the
pleasure of sex, my mind dies and my speech dies?’ I tell them that all these
people indulging in sexuality are already dead, but because you have not
awakened to this fact, the same condition occurs again and again. Otherwise if
ever brahmacharya is preserved, each human being has so much energy. The
knowledge of the Self is the ultimate essence of time (samayasaar). This is real
awareness that increases the experience of the Self. And brahmacharya is the
essence of the living body.
The presence of brahmacharya in
the mind, the body and the speech
results in wonderful power
of mind, wonderful power of body
and wonderful power of the speech. What type of sexuality existed in the times
of Lord Mahavir? The sex was limited to having one to two children. The Lord
knew that this interaction would become bad in this day and age, so he had to
add the fifth vow of brahmacharya.
It is a real wonder that humans
are stuck in the terrible filth of exploitation of the five senses. It is horrible heap of filth.
The world continues to move in this filth, because people do not
understand this. If one gives a moment’s thought to this, then one would
understand that this truly is a heap of filth. It is nothing but absolute filth.
But people do not think at all. Why are human beings stuck in such dirt? It is
because they cannot find a cleaner place(real happiness) anywhere else,
therefore they lie in this filth.
Questioner:
So, isn’t this a matter of ignorance of this filth?
Dadashri:
Yes, it is ignorance and that is why he remains stuck in this filth. If one
tries to, he can understand. He
does not even try to understand this.
There are objects in this world
that do not trap you into an inescapable trap of enjoyment. These things are all
that one consumes for the needs of this body, like food items and water. This is
not vishaya. These objects do not harm you, because they do not make you
involved with them to the exclusion of everything else. Vishaya in general means
that which holds your attention. Here we are talking about that which will grab
you and take you into life after life. When is anything considered a vishaya? It
is considered a vishaya if you become greedy or infatuated with it. Otherwise it
is not a vishaya. Therefore, everything you see in this world is not vishaya but
if you become greedy or obsessed with it then it is called vishaya. No vishaya
in this world touches me in any way.
A spider spins a web and then
it gets entangled in its own web. Similarly you, yourself have created this web
of entanglement in worldly life. You had asked for it in your previous life. In
the receptacle of intellect which you have brought forth in this life, you
filled out a tender, a proposal for one wife, two to three rooms, one son, one
daughter and a job. But along with the wife, you also received a mother-in-law,
father-in-law, uncle-in-law, wife’s brother and sister, etc. What a trap! Had
you known about this huge trap, you would have not asked for it. You only asked
for a wife, then why all this? Nature says it cannot provide just a wife. It
also has to give you uncle-in-law, aunt-in-law etc. along with her. You will not
have fun without them, the bigger the clan, the greater is the fun (!).
Now tell me, what do you want
in the worldly life?
Questioner:
I do not want to get married, ever.
Dadashri:
This body is full of difficulties, is it not? How do you feel about this body
when you have a stomachache? What would happen if you start trading with someone
else’s body? Wouldn’t there be more difficulties? I addition there are two
to four children too. It may be okay if there is only a wife to deal with, as
she may cooperate, but what would happen if there were four children came along,
in addition? You will have endless difficulties.
Before leaving the womb, you
experience so many terrible suffering within the womb and yet when you grow up,
you go back to the womb in the sexual act. Such is the way of this world. No one
has taught you the real thing. Even parents tell you to get married. And that is
parent’s duty, is it not? But, no one gives the right advice about the pain
and suffering involved in married life.
Marriage is a severe bondage.
One’s situation is like that of a water buffalo trapped in a cage. It is best
not to get trapped in such a situation. And those who are already trapped should
try to get out. The rest should escape after tasting its fruits.
A gentleman once told me that
he misses his wife when he is at work. You fool! Would you lick pus off her
hand, if she developed an abscess? Then, why are you so lost by a woman? This
whole body is full of pus. Have you ever thought about what this body is made
of? The amount of love a hog has for a sow is greater than the amount of love a
man has for his wife. Can you call this love? This is nothing but beastliness.
True love is that which never increases or decreases.
All this is nothing but infatuation.
The
sexual act gratification is nothing but eating refuse. It is refuse of the whole
world. How can this be food for the Soul? The Self has no hunger, and no need
for any external thing. It is absolutely independent.
Whole world is engrossed in an
illusionary enjoyment. It is not a real. Yet people believe it to be so. If
sexual pleasure was to be analyzed it would lead to severe nausea.
This body turns into ash, and
then a new body is formed from the atoms of this same ash. This is the result of
ashes from endless lives of the past. It is nothing but refuse. And sex here is
the refuse of all refuse. It is the same old ash and the same old atoms merging
together. Even cooking utensils once washed, will look cleaner the next day. But
what if you ate in the same utensils over and over without cleaning them?
Is that not eating filth?
Say if you ate some delicious
liquid pudding, how would it look if it were vomited out? Would it look pleasing
enough for you to hold it in your hand? Even if the bowl was nice and clean and
the pudding was delicious when you ate it. But if it were vomited, no matter
what happens, you would not eat that vomit. And yet this other vomited stuff is
taken in again. This is the illusion.
Amongst the objects of the five
senses, that of the tongue is the only correct and acceptable one. All others
fool you. This is the only acceptable indulgence, the one of the taste of food.
What would a good quality alphonso mango taste like? Within the
illusionary world this one of taste, is the one pure vishaya.
Vishaya,
sexual process is an excretion. All that is discharged from the nose, ears,
mouth etc. is all an excretion. Even
the discharge of semen is an excretion, an end result, but one cannot remain
without being involved totally in it, and it will not leave without one becoming
involved in it at the time.
I
am amazed at how an intelligent man finds gratification in sex. When you analyze
sex, it is like scratching an eczematous lesion. I often wonder, is this all we
have done in endless lifecycles? All the things that we do not like are in sex.
It is full of stench. Eyes do not like to see. Nose does not like the smell it.
Have you ever smelt it? You should have. Then you would lose all
passions. The ears do not like it either. Only the skin likes it.
Sex has not resulted from an
intellectual game and effort. It is simply a distortion of the mind.
I see so much filth and
impurity in sex, that I never have any thoughts about it. I have seen so much in
this that I can see through the contents and cross sections of the person as a
whole.
Man
has the wrong belief of pleasure existing in sex. Now, if you experience greater
happiness and pleasure in something other than sex, then you would not seek
pleasure in sex. There is no happiness in sex but there is no other option for
the humans in worldly interactions. Otherwise who would knowingly open the lid
of a gutter? If there were happiness in sex, Chakravatis (kings of continents)
with so many queens, would not have set out in search of real happiness. With
Gnan, Self-realization you attain eternal bliss. Yet, after this Gnan, sexual
impulses do not leave you immediately. They leave gradually. Still one must
think about how filthy and dangerous sexual involvement is.
It is the disease of man to see
a woman as a woman. When there is no such disease he will not see her as a
woman.
If we count from endless number
of births, men have always married women and vice versa, but still the
fascination in sex remains. When will this ever end? Would it not be better if
you become single so that all these difficulties would end?
Brahmacharya should be
practiced with understanding. If the fruit of brahmacharya is not moksha then,
that brahmacharya is like castration. It will make your body good, strong, and
good looking and you would live longer. Even a bull becomes strong and healthy.
Questioner:
I do not feel like getting married at all.
Dadashri:
Really! Will you be okay if you don’t get married?
Questioner:
Yes, my only desire is to attain brahmacharya. Please give me
some strength and understanding for that.
Dadashri:
For that you have to have a deep inner intent. Everyday, you have to say,
‘Dear Dada Bhagwan! Give me strength to practice brahmacharya’. And you have
to get rid of the slightest thought of sex as soon as it arises. If not, a seed
of sex will be sown. If allowed to remain, after two days it will kill you.
Hence uproot such a thought and get rid of it right away. Next, make sure that
you do not look with sexual thoughts at any woman. If your eyes happen to pull
you towards a woman, pull them away from her, remember Dada and ask for
forgiveness. When it continuously remains within that any element of sexuality
is not worth pursuing then it will all be a clean farm, no seed will sprout.
Even now if one stays under my shelter, then his goal of brahmacharya will be
fully attained.
The
one who definitely wants to practice only brahmacharya, must first examine and
severely test his control over his senses, and if he feels that he may slip,
then it is better for him to get married. Even after that, it should be under
control and he should alert her about his desire for exercising control.
Questioner:
What is the method by which sexual impulses are gotten rid of in the Akram path?
Dadashri:
This is a different path. Here, you do not have to remove any sexual impuses. So
many people practice brahmacharya of the mind, body and speech here. Those who
are married, find their solution from the way that I have shown them.
‘Here’, as the Self there
is no place for sexual impulses or sexuality. ‘This’ place, the Self is
eternally free from any movement. It never leaves its original state (nirvikari).
Sexuality is not poison.
Fearlessness in sex is poison. There is no problem in sex if it has to be done,
as a last resort, just as if a policeman were to force you to do so. It should
not happen by your own choice. Do you have any choice but to sit in the jail if
the policeman puts you there? Is there any escaping from there? Similarly, you
do not have a choice when karma unfolds its account and the sex act in the mind,
speech or body, happens. Any religion that sanctions and allows sexuality is no
religion. Religion exists where there is brahmacharya.
No matter to what little extent religion is present, it must be free from
all elements of sexuality.
Questioner:
Yes, that is true, but shouldn’t there be a means of going from one shore of
sexuality to the other shore of brahmacharya?
Dadashri:
Yes, for that there is Gnan. For brahmacharya the right guru has to be
encountered. The guru must not have any element of sexuality. If the guru is
sexual in any way, the entire following will go to hell. They would not be able
to see human life again. Sexuality of any type does not suit a guru.
No
religion accepts sexuality in spiritual matters. Those who allow and accept
sexuality in spiritual path are on the wrong path, in fact on the path opposite
of liberation, the path to hell. Such wrong and misguided paths and teachers did
exist in the past, seeking the Self along with sex.
Questioner:
Is that not a form of deterioration in religion?
Dadashri:
Of course, it is deterioration, a severe one at that. These teachers do not go
towards moksha and they do not let their followers go either. They go down in
lower life forms and take their followers along with them.
Questioner:
Despite knowing the transient nature of sexual pleasure, what is the reason for
such an intense desire for it? And how can it be brought under control?
Dadashri:
The world has not known the nature of sexual impulses and desires at all. It can
be brought under control only if you know how it arises. But, you do not know
under what circumstances it arises. Then how can it be controlled? No one can
control it. A person, who appears to have control, is actually the result of his
prior life deep inner intent for brahmacharya. Otherwise, the only way one can
have control over it is if one finds the root cause of sexuality and puts a stop
to it at that point. It is too late to try and stop it once the sexual impulse
expresses as an effect. If you want to be free from all sexual impulses, I will
show you the way.
Questioner:
Gnan is a very critical and important thing for attaining freedom from sex.
Dadashri:
Gnan is the only thing that will get rid of all forms of vishaya, all entry into
objects of enjoyment. These objects of enjoyment cling to you because of
ignorance of the Self.
As hard as you try, no other
approach, besides Gnan, can control vishaya.
Sexuality will not stop with external locks. I have seen some people who
have even gone to the extent of locking up their genitals in their desire to
curb sexual impulses but this does not work.
All sexual impulses and desires
fade in presence of Gnan. These brahmachari followers of Dada here are free from
even thoughts of sexuality.
Questioner:
Psychology says that once you have had your fill of ice cream to the point of
full satisfaction, you do not feel like eating it again.
Dadashri:
That is not possible in this world. On the contrary, you will feel like eating
again. But, if somebody keeps feeding you something that you do not like at all,
again and again, then it will induce vomiting and the intake will stop. In
sexuality, the more a person enjoys it, the more burning becomes his desire for
it.
By
not getting involved in the sexual act, one may become uneasy and unsettled for
a month or two. However loss of familiarity is the key. With the loss of
familiarity one will forget sexuality totally.
It is not possible for a person enjoying sex to get rid of the desire for
it. Hence, research of the scriptures done by people in our country, has led to
the discovery that the path of brahmacharya is the best. The best cure is to
become unfamiliar with sex.
Once you stay away from sex for
one or two years, then you forget all about it. That is the nature of the mind.
If it goes near it, it will become restless. The mind has been separated from
its familiarity. If ‘You’(the Self) stay
separate from it, then the mind stays away from it and therefore it will
forget it forever. It will never remember it again. It will not go there even if
you want it to. Do you understand that? It is like if you stayed away from your
friend for two years then your mind will forget him.
Questioner:
When we give the mind the freedom to enjoy sex, it remains uninterested and when
we control the mind, it becomes restless even more, the fascination for sex
increases. What is the reason for this?
Dadashri:
This is not called having control over the mind. That which does not accept our
control cannot be called control. Shouldn’t there be a controller? You can
only control, if you are the controller. You are not the controller, because
your mind does not obey you. Does your mind obey you?
Mind is not to be obstructed.
Instead, the causes of the mind have to be obstructed. The mind is a result. It
is an effect. It will continue to show the results. It is like the result of an
examination. The result cannot be changed without changing the answers of the
examination. These answers were given in the past life. The result is now in
front of you as the mind. How can you identify the cause of the effect? How did
the mind filled with sex arise? The answer is that it is stuck in sex. It was
stuck in sex in the last life and it is stuck in sex in this life. One should
identify all the places where the mind is stuck in this life, and cut off the
link with it.
Questioner:
What is the easiest way of being free from all sexual impulses?
Dadashri:
Coming to me is the solution. What other solution is there? If you try to give
up one passion by yourself, another one will enter. A vacuum created cannot
remain as vacuum. The moment you give up sexual passions another passion sets
in.
Questioner:
This anger-pride-attachment-greed that you talk about, where does sex come in
it? What does sex come under these passions?
Dadashri:
sex and kashaya (anger-pride-attachment-greed) are different. Indulging in sex
and crossing its limits is called greed.
[3]
Importance of Brahmacharya
Questioner:
Which is better, practice of brahmacharya without ever getting exposed to
marriage or woman/man or practice of brahmacharya after getting married?
Dadashri:
Brahmacharya since childhood is entirely a different thing. But what are child
brahmacharis of today like? The times are bad these days. If you read about
their life, you would get a headache right away.
I will show you the way to
practice brahmacharya if you want to. You have to follow that way. It is not
mandatory for you to practice brahmacharya. This will only happen if your karma
effects are there in this regard. The vow of brahmacharya to be taken and be
preserved will happen only if your previous karmas are such. It can be preserved
if your deep inner intent (bhaav) from previous life was so. The other way to
preserve brahmacharya is based on your unflinching determination to do so.
Your unflinching determination
(nischaya) coupled with the energy of my words, which is always there, will
preserve brahmacharya.
Questioner:
The charged karmas that have come with this body from past life, cannot be
changed, can they?
Dadashri:
No, they cannot be changed. Yet, sex is one thing that can be changed through
the agna of The Gnani Purush. (here, special agna, the direction given by the
Gnani to the one who desires brahmacharya). But this vow, agna cannot be given
to everyone. I have given it to only few selected people. The agna of a Gnani
has the power to change everything. The seeker of brahmacharya simply has to
make a firm decision that no matter what happens, I will not have anything to do
with sex, at any cost. Then, I would give him the agna and vow of brahmacharya
and then the energy of my words start working in him. His chit will not be
distracted anymore.
If a person practices
brahmacharya and attains its full glory then it is a very big thing. What more
one needs when, together with brahmacharya, he has ‘Dada’s Gnan’, this ‘
Akram Vignan’? This Akram Vignan alone is such that with its experience and
the extraordinary result of the accomplished brahmacharya, one enjoys the bliss
of an emperor of emperors. All the kings of the world will have to bow to him.
Questioner:
At the moment, even our neighbor does not salute.
Questioner:
Despite understanding, the mind still stays fascinated in all the vishayas,
objects of enjoyments of the world. We understand what is right and what is
wrong, and yet we cannot be free from these vishayas. What is the solution for
this?
Dadashri:
True understanding is one that produces results. All other understanding is
barren.
Questioner:
What should one do to make this understanding fruitful?
Dadashri:
I will explain to you in detail. Then
that understanding itself will continue to produce results. You do not have to
do anything. In fact, you will ruin it if you try to meddle in it. The
knowledge, the gnan, the understanding that produces results, is the right
knowledge.
If
there is anything in this world that merits slander, it is the practice of
abrahmacharya. Others are not worth disparaging much.
Questioner:
But, psychologists say that sexual impulses never stop. They stay till the end.
Therefore, vital energy of the semen cannot rise higher towards spirituality,
can it?
Dadashri:
What I am saying is that once the opinion about sex changes, sex does not
remain! As long as the opinion about sex does not change the energy of the semen
does not rise higher. And here, in Akram we make a direct entry in to the Self
and that is what we call rising higher. The cessation of sex leads to the
experience of the bliss of the Self. This then leads to the natural rise of the
vitality of the conserved semen. My
agna is such that vishaya will stop.
Questioner:
What is in the agna? Is the agna, instruction to stop overt and gross sexual
activity?
Dadashri:
I do not say anything to the external sexual activity. Mind, intellect, chit and
ego should remain in brahmacharya. And if mind, intellect, chit and ego turn
towards brahmacharya, then the extenranl sexuality will shed off automatically.
Turn your mind, intellect, chit and ego. My agna is such that these four do
turn, for sure, towards brahmacharya.
Questioner:
How
does a Gnani acquire the energy of these words?
Dadashri:
One attains this energy of words only when one is absolutely free from all
impulses of sexuality in mind, speech and body (nirvishayi). Such energy that
unfolds all aspects of sexuality in true light is not to be found in this world.
Only the one who is absolutely free from all impulses of sexuality has the
energy of words that purges sexuality totally.
The
Decision To Remain Unmarried
Questioner:
I do not wish to get married at all, but my parents, friends and relatives are
pressuring me to do so. So, should I get married or not?
Dadashri:
If you definitely do not wish to get married then, because of this Gnan that you
have taken, you will fulfill your goal of human life. Everything is possible
with the power of this Gnan. I will explain how to conduct yourself and with
that understanding if you remain afloat then you will reach the shore of
salvation.
There is nothing greater than
the mere thought of taking the vow of brahmacharya and the firm decision of
remaining in it. Such a person has grasped the essence of all the scriptures.
The person, who makes a firm decision of being free from all these entanglements
of the world, has understood all the scriptures. The illusion of sex is such
that it will sink all, even the one who thinks that he has no attachment to
anything in the world. This illusion of sex has sunk great saints and masters
from tremendous spiritual heights.
Questioner:
The resolution to follow brahmacharya has been made. What can be done to
strengthen this resolve?
Dadashri:
Keep repeating this resolve and your energy will increase by saying, ‘O
‘Dada Bhagwan’, I am making my resolution stronger and firmer. Please grant
me the energy to strenghthen my resolve of brahmacharya’.
Such words will increase the energy.
Questioner:
Do I have to continue observing thoughts of sex as they come?
Dadashri:
Keep on observing them. What else can you do? Can you accumulate them?
Questioner:
Should I not throw them off?
Dadashri:
You have to keep on observing. After continuous observation you have to tell
Chandresh (file no. one for those who have taken Gnan) to do their pratikraman.
You have to do pratikraman for any sexual thoughts, desires and gestures that
happen in the mind, the speech and the body. Imagine how much bliss you will
experience if you become free from the thoughts of sex that arise? And just
imagine how much bliss will be there when they are all gone forever.
There are four pillars of
liberation. These are real
knowledge, real vision, real conduct and right penance (gnan, darshan, charitra
and tapa). Now, when does one have to do penance? When thoughts about sex arise
and you maintain a firm decision of not giving in to them, the Lord has called
this penance. When there is no
desire for sex at all, and when thoughts that lead to desire arise, that is
where penance begins.
The thoughts of sex and
abrahmacharya will come, and in this when one keeps praying for the energy of
brahmacharya, it is highly commendable. With
these prayers the seeker will attain the goal over a variable period of two to
five years. The person, who conquers abrahmacharya, conquers the whole world.
The governing deities, the celestial protectors of the path of liberation are
very pleased with the one who is in brahmacharya.
Sex is the only thing that
calls for vigilance. It is more than enough if sexual impulses are conquered.
The impulses must be uprooted as soon as they arise, before they become thoughts
of sex. Secondly, once there has been eye contact with anyone who arouses
impulses of sexuality, you should immediately change the inner visual link. Otherwise the sexual seeding will grow and even when it is
tiny it will sow seeds for more sex. Therefore it is best to eradicate it when
it is a mere sapling.
Stay as far away from the
company of those who are likely to trap you in sexuality, because if you get
trapped even once, you will keep on getting into trap after trap. Therefore run!
You must run as far away from that person as possible. You would not slip if you
leave the place where there are chances of slipping. In satsang, there is no
chance of meeting any other ‘files’ (people who tempt you sexually). People
with the same goal of spiritual progress come together here, do they not?
Eradicate the sexual thought
immediately. Do pratikraman for any attraction of a sexual nature. With these
two weapons, brahmacharya will remain forever.
It
is in the nature of the sexual seed to fall and reseed into a plant. The eyes
see all kinds of things and hence seeds are sown within. These internal seeds
have to be uprooted. As long as they are in the form of seeds, one has a chance
for a cure. Once they sprout and start growing it becomes more and more
difficult, and then there is no cure.
The
women are not pulling and attracting you. It is your past life account that is
pulling and attracting you. Therefore uproot and throw it (sexual impulses) away
and clear the account. After Gnan, there is no problem of any kind except sex.
Therefore I caution you against sex. Just commencing a sexual link through
looking is the fault and especially after understanding this, if it happens then
severe liability is incurred. Therefore do not begin this sexual link with
anyone.
Are you overcome by sleep that
veils your awareness of the Self? The world will latch on to you if you dose off
in such sleep. Now, from here on if you
dose off, get attracted and tempted sexually with a specific person
then you have to ask for energy of brahmacharya from the pure Soul of
that person, by saying, ‘O pure Soul! Give me the strength to maintain my
brahmacharya with the entire world’. It is good if you ask for strength from
‘Dada’ but it is best to ask directly from the pure Soul of the person who
is pulling you.
Questioner:
What should we do if the eyes meet sexually?
Dadashri:
Become clean and pure with the help of pratikraman. You must do pratikraman as soon as sexuality arises through the four eyes that have
met. That is why it has been said not to place a photograph or a statue of a
beautiful woman.
Questioner:
It is believed that sex is the sweetest of all tastes. On what grounds is this
based?
Dadashri:
The reason why one feels the sweetness in sex is because one has not experienced
sweetness anywhere else. If we really look at it as it is, there is most filth
in sexuality than anywhere else. But
this momentary sweetness and pleasure renders one unconscious even while awake.
Questioner:
I do not like it at all and yet the attraction remains. I continue to experience
remorse afterwards about it.
Dadashri:
If there is remorse, then it will go away. How can sexuality remain if you see
only the Soul of the person? Sex happens when you see anything else except the
Self. Do you know how to analyze sexuality?
Questioner:
You tell me, Dada.
Dadashri:
Analysing the sexual event means, do the eyes like it? Do the ears like it when
they hear it? And does it taste sweet if the tongue licks it? None of the senses
like it. The ears must really like it right? Therefore when you analyse this way
you will realize that hell exists there. But without this analysis people are
confused. Isn’t it a wonder that the world is so enamored with sex?
‘By
conquering sex, you have conquered the worldly life,
Just
as by conquering the King you have conquered the army, kingdom and power.’
You will get everything, the
army, the city and the power when you conquer the King.
Questioner:
After acquiring Gnan from you, can we completely get rid of the seeds of sex
right away in this life?
Dadashri:
Everything can be done. No new seeds are sowed for the next life. Wash away the
old seeds that already exist, and new seeds will not be sown.
Questioner:
Does that mean that we will not have any thoughts of sex, in the next life?
Dadashri:
No, you will not. If a few were left from the past then those thoughts will come
but they would be of no consequence. There is no danger where there are no
pending accounts.
Questioner:
Whom can you call a shilvaan person?
Dadashri:
A person who does not have any thought of sex whatsoever. A person, who does not
have any anger, pride, attachment or greed, is a shilvaan.
If ever there is an occasion
for a severe testing of your resolve of brahmacharya, if there is strong sexual
attraction and inclination, then one should fast two to three times. When the
force of unfolding karma is very strong, fasting can stop them.
Fasting does not destroy these sexual passions completely.
[2]
‘Three Vision’ Stops Sexual Vision
Use
the same experiment that I had used for myself. For me this experiment is
constantly in place and it had kept me aware even before enlightenment.
When the vision falls on someone wearing beautiful clothes, a saree worth
two thousand rupees, I become aware and see her naked. Then a second awareness
arises and I see the body without the skin and then the third awareness arises
and I see the intestines, the kind you see when the stomach is cut open. I can
also see changes that occur within the intestines.
I can see blood vessels; I can see fecal matter etc. I can see all the
refuse this way. Then there is no chance of sexual impulse arising, is there? In
all this, the Soul is the only pure thing and that is where my vision stops.
Therefore how can any illusion over sex ever occur?
Shrimad Rajchandra has said,
“All the miseries come to an end if you do not get deluded and see the pure
Soul (within all).” We read in scriptures that you should not become attached
to women but you forget this the moment you see a woman.
This
is the illusion. If this illusion leaves, this view that ‘I am Chandulal’,
and instead the right vision, ‘ I am pure Soul’, takes hold then all
suffering comes to an end. Then the delusion will not happen, attraction will
not occur.
Questioner:
When a man looks at a woman and has sexual thoughts about her, is
the woman at fault to some extent also?
Dadashri:
No, the woman is not at fault at all. Lord
Mahavir’s appearance was such that a lot of women were attracted to him, but
this did not affect the Lord. The gnan says that your actions should be with
good intentions. Your dressing and conduct should be such that it does
not attract the opposite sex. If your inner intents are pure then nothing can be
harmed. Why did the Lord pluck all the hair on his head? He did that to avoid
any sexual impulses arising in the minds of women who saw him. He had his hair
removed so that they do not become a cause for ruining someone’s inner intent.
As it is Lord Mahavir was very attractive. He had the most beautiful body in the
whole world.
Questioner:
Does the attachment and illusionary my-ness over a woman have to leave before
the sexual impulses towards her begin to dissipate?
Dadashri:
The sexual impulse has been there for countless lives, and you never know when
it will rise again. Therefore, it is important to remain within the company of
brahmacharis. If you go out of this company, because of the existing impulse,
sexuality will start to sprout all over again. Therefore, you have to stay in
the company of brahmacharis. The tendency to delve in sexual sweetness has not
been completely eliminated; therefore it can start all over again when you mix
with the wrong people. That is the nature of wrong company.
Wrong company has no affect on
the person whose tendency and inclinations of sexual nature has been eradicated
or gone.
Your attachment to the illusion
of sex will disappear if you follow my agna. If you try to remove it yourself,
it is so powerful that it will sabotage your effort and everything. Therefore,
instead of fighting to remove it, you should say to it, “Sit down, I will
honor you”. Then, by remaining the Self, and focusing with this awareness on
the attachment and the impulses, it will all dissipate and leave. This is the
same as coming under the protection of Dada’s agnas.
[3]
A Firm Decision Takes You Across To Final Safety
What
is nischaya (determined decision)? Nischaya means, no matter how powerful an
army of worldly difficulties arises with attacks, you would not back off. No
matter how many different types of inner appeals and lawyers come to change your
understanding, you would remain firm. Once you have made a firm decision, you
would not change it. That is called a nischaya.
What is nischaya? It is to stop
all other thoughts and come onto only one thought. For example that you
definitely want to go to the station from here and from the station you want to
go by train and not by bus. Hence, if you make a firm decision, all the
evidences for going by train will come together and make it happen.
If your decision is not firm
then the evidences will not come together and your goal will not be
accomplished.
Questioner:
Does the timing change with firm decision?
Dadashri:
All the timings change with firm decision. This gentleman was saying,
‘I will most probably come, but you go ahead if I am not here on
time’. I realized that his was a hollow decision and hence evidences for him
will be such that he may not be able to accomplish whatever he set out to.
Questioner:
Who breaks our firm decision?
Dadashri:
It is your own ego. It is the ego that is with attachment, the deluded ego.
Questioner:
Is weak intent a weakness of firm decision?
Dadashri:
It is not a weakness. It is not a
decision at all! Weaknesses can be removed, but here there is no decision
present at all to begin with.
Questioner:
If your intent for brahmacharya is not weak or conceited then would the thoughts
of sexuality completely stop coming?
Dadashri:
No, let the thoughts come. What is wrong with thoughts? The thoughts will never
stop. We do not want any weakness of conceit. There must be strong opposition to
the subtle greed and conceit for delving into sexuality within. How dare such
thoughts arise?
If you make a man who has not
slept for four days sit on the edge of a well, if he is determined not to fall
into a well, he would not. He would remain awake.
You will succeed in achieving
your goal of attaining brahmacharya with your absolute firm decision coupled
with my agna, provided there is no wavering in that decision. My agna will guide
you wherever you go and you must never abandon your vow, ever. If a thought of
sex arises then keep on cleansing it (pratikraman) for half an hour at a time by
saying, ‘Why are these thoughts still coming?’ And never initiate the sexual
look with anyone. He who wants to practice brahmacharya must not look with
sexual intent at any one.
The slightest touch of the hand
to a woman can cause shake this firm decision. It will not allow you to sleep;
such are the atoms of the female sex. Therefore, the act of touching must never
take place, and if you are careful about preserving the purity of your vision,
then your firm decision would not waver.
Questioner:
If a person’s firm decision about practicing brahmacharya wavers, then is it
because of the effect of the wavering inner intent of his previous life?
Dadashri:
No, that is not the case. It is because his nischaya is not nischaya. He has not
made a firm decision. This is not a result of previous life and this so-called
firm decision that he had made, was done by watching others doing it. It wavers
because it is done out of going along with others around were doing. Why don’t
you get married instead, what do you have to lose? At least you will help some
girl get settled.
There can never be exception
for brahmacharya because man’s mind is looking for a loophole and wherever
there is a slightest hole, the mind makes it larger.
Questioner:
What tendencies (of the chit) are working within when a person searches for a
loophole?
Dadashri:
It is the mind that is working and not the tendencies of the chit. It is the
nature of the mind to search for loopholes.
Questioner:
How can one stop mind from looking for loopholes?
Dadashri:
With nischaya. A firm unflinching decision. How can
it look for a loophole, if your decision is firm? If your decision is firm then
nobody can find a loophole. Just like a person who has made a firm decision of
not eating meat, will not eat meat.
Questioner:
So, should we have a firm decision in every matter?
Dadashri:
A firm decision is what makes everything work.
Questioner:
After realizing the Self, does one need nischaya in relative matters?
Dadashri:
You, the Self do not have to keep the decision, do you? You have to tell
Chandresh to make the firm decision and preserve it properly.
If one needs to ask questions
about this then he is searching for loopholes. Therefore, whenever there is a
need to ask these kinds of questions tell him (Chandresh)‘to be quiet’. Tell
him to ‘get out’ so he will become quiet. Everything will disappear the
moment you say ‘get out’.
How is it going with you?
Questioner:
When such a circumstance arises some day, then one of the seeds of sex sprouts.
But I instantly place the ‘three-vision’ on it.
Dadashri:
Would one not die if he drowns in the river just once? Or would he have to drown
daily to die? Is there any problem left if one dies by drowning in the river
just once? Is the river going to lose anything?
Authors of scriptures have
called a single act of abrahmacharya, a death. Die if you have to but do not
lose brahmacharya.
If awareness does not remain
when the force of karma unfolds, recite loudly, the sentences of Gnan to bring
back the awareness and confront the karmas. That is called an extraordinary
effort (parakram). To invoke the energies of the Self (Atmashkati, sva-virya) is
called extraordinary effort (parakram). Nobody has any power against parakram.
Your awareness will be in
proportion to your sincerity. This
I am giving you as an aphorism (sutra) and with such clarification that even a
little boy can understand. This is science. Your progress depends upon your
sincerity, and that sincerity can take you to moksha. The fruit of sincerity is
morality.
Questioner:
The other day you were saying that even in youth there is a ‘ridge point’,
so what is this ‘ridge point’?
Dadashri:
‘Ridge point’ means right at its peak. Where is the ridge of a roof? It is
at the top.
When a youth reaches the
‘ridge point’, at that moment everything topples over. If one passes through
this, then he is a winner. I will look after everything, but if he changes his
mind, then there is no cure. That is why I teach him before the karma unfolds,
to walk with his eyes looking down. Do not look at a woman. He can enjoy
everything else. We cannot give you any guarantees because you are in your
youth.
[4]
When the Thoughts of Sexuality Torment
Someday,
when a sexual thought sprouts and it lingered on, then you have to do a massive
pratikraman, continuous long pratikraman. You must get rid of the thought as
soon as it sprouts.
[5]
Do Not Be Guided By Your Mind
You
should never proceed as guided by your mind. If the mind says according to what
the Gnan says then one may adjust accordingly. If it goes against what our Gnan
stands for, then you must stop it.
Look how wise Kabir was when he
said, four hundred years ago, that, ‘ The one who lets his mind rule his
actions loses everything’. Was Kabir not wise? People are governed by their
minds. If your mind says, ‘Get married to this person’, does that mean you
have to get married?
Questioner:
No. That cannot happen.
Dadashri:
What will you do when the mind still says that? You will have to remain strong
if you want to practice brahmacharya. The mind can say anything and it will make
you say the same. That is why I was saying that tomorrow morning you would run
away. What is the reason for this? How can you trust the one who is dictated by
his mind?
Questioner:
Now, I would not run away from here.
Dadashri:
Oh, but what guarantee is there that a man who is governed by his mind will not
run away from here? Here, if I scold you for two days, then you would leave on
the third day. You do know this. How can you trust your mind?
At the moment your mind helps
you by telling you: ‘It is not worth getting married, there are too many
problems in getting married’. It is your mind that first shows you this
principle, which you have decided through your mind and not through Gnan. It is
the mind that showed you the principle to do this.
Questioner:
If the firm decision was made through Gnan, then the mind would not go against
you, would it?
Dadashri:
No, it would not. The foundation for firm decisions (nischaya) made through Gnan
is different. All their foundations are like R.C.C (reinforced cement concrete)
while the others like those made by the mind are like those made out of mixture
of gravel and concrete (non reinforced) which are prone to crack.
[6]
‘One’ Should Scold Oneself
Look
this man has severely reprimanded his self, threatened his self. It was worth
seeing how he was scolding his self and crying at the same time.
Questioner:
Once, I reprimanded Chandresh two or three times, and made him cry too. He also
told ‘me’ that this would not happen again and yet it happens.
Dadashri:
Yes, that will happen but you have to keep on talking to him. ‘You’ have to
keep on telling him and that will keep on happening too. By talking You remain
detached from him. You have to keep scolding as if he is a neighbor. By keeping
on doing that, it will come to an end and all the files will be over too, would
they not? If a thought about sex arises, you have to say, ‘It’s not me’.
It is not a part of you. You need to scold the one who has it.
Questioner:
The experiment that you show us, about doing samayik (to place in front of the
Self) by looking in the mirror, and talking to the prakruti (the complex of
thought, speech and acts) all feels very good for two or three days, but later
the weaknesses return.
Dadashri:
If deficiencies set in, start all over again. Deficiencies will set in with
time. The nature of the pudgal (physical self) is such that it deteriorates with
familiarity and therefore it should be refreshed by innovative ways and
adjustments and brought back into order.
Questioner: One is to attain the end of the experiment by sticking to it.
In reality this does not happen and the experiment is discontinued half
way through.
Dadashri:
It is achieved by persistent application. It will not happen immediately.
[7]
Pratikraman With True Repentance
Questioner:
Sometimes I feel bored in performing so many pratikramans, because there are so
many to do all of a sudden.
Dadashri:
Yes, this is the problem with apratikraman. This happens because pratikramans
was not done at the time the mistake happened. By doing the pratikraman right
away, the fault will not arise again.
Questioner:
When can you say that the cloth has been washed properly? cleansed?
Dadashri:
When you do pratikraman, you yourself will feel that it has been washed
properly.
Questioner:
Should remorse remain internally?
Dadashri:
The remorse must remain. The remorse must remain until your work (liberation) is
done. You just have to keep watching if he is remorseful or not. You have to do
your work, and he will do his.
Questioner.
All this is very sticky, but some change is occurring.
Dadashri:
Whatever kind of fault was filled, is what comes out. But this will be emptied
in twelve years, ten years or five years, and then the tank will be all cleared.
Then it will be clean and then you are free in everything.
Questioner:
Once the seed has been sown, it will bring forth its fruit, will it not?
Dadashri:
The seeds are sown! It will bear fruit, but as long as the roots have not taken
a firm hold, there will be some change in the intensity of the fruit. Therefore,
before death one can change the result to come, and be cleansed of it.
That
is why we say to a person who has a lot of sexual faults, or any other faults,
to fast on Sunday and keep thinking about the faults and cleansing them whole
day. If this is done with my agna, the faults will decrease.
Questioner:
How do we do samayik-pratikraman for matters related to sexual indulgence and
impulses?
Dadashri:
You have to do pratikraman for all the mistakes that have occurred till today
and make a firm decision not to repeat those mistakes in future.
Questioner:
What if we keep seeing the same mistakes over and over, when doing samayik?
Dadashri:
Ask for forgiveness as long as you keep seeing mistakes. Ask for forgiveness, do
repentance and pratikraman with remorse over it.
Questioner:
Just now when I sat in samayik, why did I keep seeing the same things over and
over again?
Dadashri:
That will come, as long as those atoms are still there within you. What problem
does that cause you anyway?
Questioner:
Does it mean that they keep coming because they have not been cleansed properly?
Dadashri:
No. That stock is there and will remain for a very long time. It will remain for
about tens of years, but you have to persevere to remove it all.
Questioner:
This science of uprooting the two-leaf sapling of sexual thought, is it such
that on doing this sincerely one will win all the way and attain lasting
brahmacharya?
Dadashri:
Yes, but sex is such a thing that if you get involved in it, you will loose the
awareness of the Self. Therefore, this tuber is harmful. When the tuber of
sexuality sprouts the result is the sexual impulse, and it is like a two leaf
sapling. Generally the impulse is so strong that one becomes engrossed in it,
becomes one with it. This engrossment is called vishaya. It cannot be called
vishaya, without being engrossed in it. There should be so much awareness, when
this tuber sprouts as a sapling of sexual impulse that if you uproot and discard
it, just like discarding the thought as soon it arises, you would not become
engrossed in it. Then it will not touch you. Then the tuber still exists and may
sprout again and again when the circumstances are right. When the tuber is
finally gone, dissolved, no impulses of sexuality will arise within, and your
goal of brahmacharya will be attained.
Questioner:
So, the interaction of worldly attraction of sex does not exist once the tuber
of sex is dissolved?
Dadashri:
That interaction will stop. The relationship between a ‘needle’ and a
‘magnet’ would stop. This relation is only there because of these tubers of
sexuality carried over from past life. Sexuality is gross, overt and of the
body, whereas the Self is beyond anything that is the subtlest. It is very
difficult to maintain this awareness and therefore engrossment in sex happens.
It is only the Gnani Purush who can maintain this awareness continuously, no one
else can.
The
tuber of sexuality is very huge and there is great need to dissolve it. And for
that purpose this unique samayik has come about in a very natural way. Arrange
to sit in this samayik. It will dissolve everything, all traces of sexuality.
You will have to do something about this huge tuber, will you not? You will have
to remove all the ‘diseases’ whilst Dada is here, would you not? Only one or
two tubers are large, but would you not have to get rid of whatever they are?
You have wandered for countless lives because of this disease of sex. The
purpose of this samayik is to get rid of the persistent tuber of sex. This tuber
gives rise to causes for sexuality in the next life. And therefore to get rid of
this tuber samayik is necessary.
[8] Touch: The Illusion Of Pleasure
People
are all involved in the filth of sex. One does not like presence of light during
sexual activity. They get alarmed when the light comes on. Therefore they keep
lights off. If the light falls on the spot of the sexual activity then one would
not like that ‘the place of enjoyment’, the organ of sexaul interaction.
That is why, what has Krupadudev called the ‘place of enjoyment’?
Questioner:
‘It is not worth vomiting over’.
Questioner:
Yet, what is the reason for being so attracted to that part of the woman’s
body?
Dadashri:
This is due to our wrong belief. Why don’t we get attracted to a cow’s body
part? It’s only our belief. There is nothing except for our belief. Destroy
that belief and there would not be anything.
Questioner:
Do these beliefs arise due to circumstances coming together?
Dadashri:
These beliefs arise by what others say to us. Then by supporting those
statements, your beliefs become strong. After all, what is in there in it? Just
pieces of flesh!
The
thoughts of sex arise in the mind by themselves. You must cleanse them with
pratikraman. Then you must never say that sexuality is good, and it should not
be so in your behavior. You must not look sensually at a woman, and you must not
touch a woman. If you have touched a woman then you should do pratikraman, ‘Oh
no, why did I touch her?’ This is because thoughts of vishaya begin with the
act of touching.
Questioner:
Is it not considered despising a woman?
Dadashri:
That is not called despising. When doing pratikraman, you are asking for
forgiveness from the pure Soul within her that, ‘I made a mistake, please give
me strength not to do the same again.’ You have to ask for strength from the
Soul within her. You have to ask for strength from whomever you have made a
mistake against, so that you will keep getting strength.
Questioner:
So then touch does have an effect, does it not?
Dadashri:
At that time of effect of touch you should return to your state of awareness.
‘I am separate from this body, I am not Chandresh’. This pure awareness
should remain. Whenever this happens, remain in pure awareness of the Self and ‘I am not Chandresh’.
The
moment the thought of pleasure from being touched arises; you must uproot it and
throw it out. If you do not do that instantly, then it will sprout and grow into
a ‘tree’ within the first second. Within next second it will get you in its
strangle hold and within the third second you would be strangulated.
If
there is no account from the previous life, then even a simple touch will not
happen. Even if a man and a woman
were to spend a long time alone in one room, not a single thought or impulse of
sexual nature will arise.
Questioner:
You said that attraction occurs because there is an account between the two.
Then how can one get rid of that account before
it unfolds?
Dadashri:
That can only be done if it is done at that very moment when it happens. It
cannot be done in advance. The moment a thought like, ‘Let me reserve some
space next to me for a woman’, arises in your mind, you must get rid of it
right away. ‘What is the intention’, see that as soon as it happens. You
have to recognize the intention behind that. Is it in line with your principle
of brahmacharya or is it contrary to it? If it is contrary to your principle,
uproot it and throw it away instantly.
Questioner:
I do not want to touch anyone, but what should I do if a girl comes and touches
me?
Dadashri:
I see. What would you do to a snake that wants to touch you? How can one like
touching a woman or a man? How can one like touching something that is simply
‘filth’?
Questioner:
But while touching whatever is being discussed here does not come to mind.
Dadashri:
Yes, but how will it ever come in mind? At the time of touching, it is so
poisonous that the veil of ignorance covers the mind, the intellect, the chit,
and the ego. Man becomes unconscious while awake. He becomes like an animal.
If
ever touching or any similar acts occur, come and tell me and I will cleanse it
right away for you.
If
you indulge in thoughts of a woman or in thoughts of sexuality, if you
contemplate or meditate about them, a
tuber of sexuality will form. How
will it then dissolve then? Having thoughts opposing sexuality will dissolve the
tuber.
Once
your vision towards a person turns and becomes sexual then the indulgence
begins. There is a reason behind it. Behind that there are causes from the
previous life. That is why this vision of sexuality does not happen with
everyone. It is only with a certain person that it happens. If there were causes
laid in a previous life, and an ongoing account continuing in this life and then
if indulgence takes place, then realize that this is a large account and
therefore be very vigilant. You will need to keep on doing pratikraman towards
that person. There should be a lot of alochanas (heart-felt confession),
pratikramans (apology coupled with remorse) and pratyakhyans (resolve never to
repeat that mistake).
This
sex is such a thing that it does not let the mind and the chit remain the way
that they want to. And once they fall in this trap of sex and believe that there
is happiness there, then the chit begins to go there even more and more by
believing that, ‘It is really nice here, it is really good here’, countless
numbers of new seeds are sown here.
Questioner:
But he has brought all that from his previous life has he not?
Dadashri:
His chit’s repeated going there is not something that he has brought this from
his previous life. But afterwards he loses control over his chit, when it keeps
slipping from his hands even when he does not want to go there, in sexuality.
That is why it is better if these boys live with an inner intent of practicing
brahmacharya. Then whatever sexual discharge happens either during the day or
night is all really a discharge, because they are not in it. If these young
adults are involved in a sexual act even once, they will have dreams about it
day and night.
Have
you not experienced, that if your chit goes into sexuality, you cannot focus
properly?
Questioner:
If the chit has touched even a bit of the vibrations of sexual impulses then it
would not remain still for a long time.
Dadashri:
Therefore, what I am trying to say is that you can travel anywhere in the world.
If nothing in the world captivates your chit, then you are truly independent.
For years I have seen that nothing captivates my chit and therefore I know that
I have become completely independent. There is nothing wrong with bad thoughts
that may arise, but your chit should never be captivated by anything.
However
much the tendencies of the chit wander, that much the self, has to wander.
Wherever the chit’s tendencies go, you will have to go with them. Chit draws a
map. It draws a map of comings and goings of your next life. You then have to
follow that map. Therefore, where all does the tendencies of the chit go?
Questioner:
Chit does not get captivated everywhere, but if it does in a certain place, then
is there a previous account there?
Dadashri:
Yes. The chit will be captivated only if there is an account there. But what
should you do now? Purusharth (realized self oriented effort) is that which does
not allow the captivation even if there is past account of captivation. It is
not considered abrahmacharya as long as pratikraman is done when the chit goes.
It is abrahmacharya if pratikraman is not done after the chit goes.
Whatever
makes the chit unsteady are all vishayas. Wherever chit goes, outside of the
Gnan, the Self, is all vishaya.
Questioner:
You said that there is nothing wrong in having any bad thoughts but problem is
with the chit going there.
Dadashri:
Yes, the problem is with the chit. Wandering of the chit is the problem. There
is no problem with any kind of thought at all. But, after acquiring this Gnan,
the chit must not wander.
Questioner:
What if the chit does wander sometimes?
Dadashri:
There you should initiate purusharth of ‘now this should not happen’. Is the
chit wandering now as much as it used to before?
Questioner:
No, it does not slip that much, yet I am asking about it.
Dadashri:
No, but the chit must not leave at all. You will have all kinds of thoughts.
There is nothing wrong in it but keep on pushing them away. Start having
conversation with the mind. Start conversing with the mind saying, ‘if you
meet this person what will you tell him about your project?’ ‘ Where will
you arrange transportation for him?’ Or start talking to your mind by about
satsang. When you do this mind will show you some new ideas.
What
captivates the chit the most? Sex.
Once the chit becomes trapped in sex, it destroys all divinity within
one. With loss of divinity, one becomes like an animal. Sexual indulgence is the
cause of animalistic behavior of human beings. Yet, what I am saying is that all
this is an accumulation of karma from past life and it will be discharged sooner
or later. The best thing is not to accumulate new ones in this life.
[9] Strictness Towards ‘File’
Questioner:
How can we escape the net of attraction of sex thrown at us by someone?
Dadashri:
You should not initiate eye contact with that person. If you know that she will
cast the net then you should not initiate any eye contact with her.
Wherever
you think that there is a trap, you should not meet with that person.
When
talking with anyone do not make eye contact with that person, always look down
and talk. The problem is created with the way you look at the person. There is
poison in this sexual vision and it is a poison that is intoxicating. Therefore
if an eye connection has commenced and that individual attracts you, you should
immediately do pratikraman. You must remain vigilant here. Those who do not want
to ruin their current life, beware.
When
the file to which you are attracted approaches, your mind becomes restless.
At
that time the mind becomes restless and the person feel miserable. This
person’s mind became restless. That is why I had the stern look in my eyes.
When
the file approaches, everything becomes restless within. It goes up and down as
soon as you think about her or him. It is nothing but garbage inside. The only
thing that is valuable inside is the Soul.
It
is very dangerous if you remember a file in her absence. If the file is not
present and you do not remember her, but then as soon as that file comes and it
affects you, then it is called a secondary danger. You should not let this
affect you. It is important to be independent. At that time you lose your reins
and then you would not have any control, would you?
It
is very dangerous if you already have a file. You must remain stern towards that
file. If that file comes in front
of you, you should show anger in your eyes, then that file will be fearful of
you.
Questioner:
If we have a file and we do not have any feeling of scorn towards her, then
should we deliberately create scorn towards her?
Dadashri:
Yes, why can’t you create scorn and hatred? Would you not hate the person who
causes so much harm to you in your life long goal of brahmacharya? Therefore,
there is still conceit within you. Your intentions are still unclear.
Questioner:
If too much familiarity has occurred with her then, how can it be undone? Should
I be intentionally hateful towards her and despise her?
Dadashri:
Lots of pratikramans need to be done by saying, ‘ not mine, not mine, not
mine’ Then, when you meet her in person, you can let her have it, ‘Why are
you fluttering around me like a useless animal?’ Then she will not show her
face again.
Questioner:
What should we do if we realize that the other person is not a file for us but
we are a file for her?
Dadashri:
Then you should get rid of it even sooner. You should stay firm. Then she will
stop making plans. If this doesn’t work then you can even talk something
crazy. You can say that, ‘If you come before me then I will slap you. You will
not find anyone crazier than me’. This way the file would not come again. She
can only be removed like this.
[10] Sexual Behavior: Dismissal From Group
It
is wrong to come to this group of mahatmas and then have sexual impulses and
sexual look towards anyone. Here everyone comes with full trust.
By
coming here all the sins, including sexual sins, that were committed elsewhere
are cleansed. But, the consequences of the sins that are committed here will
have to be paid for in hell. We can release you of your sins that are already
committed, but we must avoid committing new sins. Here is a solution for the
sins that have happened.
It
is better to get married than to behave as an animal in sexual matters. What is
wrong in getting married? Fulfilling ones sexual needs by getting married is
better. Not getting married and continuing to be sexually active with many
persons is a very dangerous and earns you the right to go to hell. We cannot
have that here, can we? Having sex with your marital partner is rightful sex.
Breaking
the vow of brahmacharya is a major fault. Breaking the vow of brahmacharya is a
major problem. It is like a huge fall from a great height. It is like uprooting
a ten-year-old tree. Ten years are wasted, are they not?It is like replanting it
all over again. When the person practicing brahmacharya slips, just for one day,
all is lost.
Questioner:
My commitment is firm, but I still make mistakes.
Dadashri:
I can accept if other mistakes are occur, but circumstances leading to the
sexual interaction must never happen.
You
must accept two conditions: First if act of sex happens, then I would personally
leave this group of brahmacharis, nobody else will have to tell me to leave. I
will walk away on my own. Secondly, if I dose off in spiritual lethargy in the
presence of Dada, then I will accept whatever punishment the group gives me.
This punishment may be fasting for three days or something like that.
[11] Complete Safe Side In Brahmacharya
There
is a precondition and requirements to be able to practice brahmacharya. The
precondition is that you should have taken Gnan. Then the necessary requirements
are; being in a group of people practicing brahmacharya, they should live in a
place outside and away from the city and they should have some continuing
guidance. All these circumstances should be present.
Questioner:
Does that mean that bad company can destroy the power of a firm resolution of
brahmacharya?
Dadashri:
Yes, it would break your resolve. Bad company can completely change a person’s
behavior just as can the company of good people changes you. But once a person
joins the company of the immoral, it is very difficult to bring him back and it
does not take long at all for a person who is in the company of spiritual people
to get into immoral company.
Questioner:
There are all kinds of tubers within, but the tuber of sex torments the most.
Dadashri:
Certain tubers will torment you more than others. You need to keep an army ready
to counteract that. All the tubers are being worn out and exhausted slowly, and
one day they will all be exhausted.
Questioner:
What do you mean by an army? Pratikraman?
Dadashri:
Pratikraman and firm resolution (nischaya), are the armies to be maintained.
Then the continued darshan of the
‘Gnani Purush’ is necessary. If you become remote from this live darshan of
the Gnani Purush you may have problems with brahmacharya. Therefore to be free
from all potential dangers in this path of brahmacharya is not an easy thing.
Questioner:
When would complete safe side occur in this quest of brahmacharya?
Dadashri:
There is no way to know when you can be completely safe. But after thirty-five
years, strength of the inner sexual impulses will wane and thus will not torment
you as much. Then you will have much greater control than now. And your internal
state and body will follow your thoughts of brahmacharya. Your desires will not
be tainted with sexual elements and thus will not harm you. But for thirty-five
years there is a lot of potential danger.
[12] The Role Of Food In Brahmacharya
Questioner:
There is a different kind of happiness in the night, on the day I fast. What is
the reason for this?
Dadashri:
When happiness is not taken from external things, bliss within expresses. As
happiness is taken from external things, the bliss within remains dormant.
I
have always practiced penance of eating less food than needed for full
satisfaction, right till the end. Awareness remains constantly by eating less.
Penance of hunger, eating less means that if you normally eat four chapattis
everyday, then start eating only two. That is called the penance of staying
hungry because of eating less.
Questioner:
How big an obstacle is food in maintaining the awareness in Gnan?
Dadashri:
Big obstacle. Food is very hindering because, as the food enters the stomach, it
is converted into a form of alcohol and then you feel the effects as lethargy
during the rest of the day.
Those
who want to practice brahmacharya must be aware that sexual impulses increase
with certain foods. These types of foods should be decreased. Fatty foods such
as those with fats and oils should not be consumed. Also decrease the amount of
milk you take, but you can eat curries, rice, vegetables and chapatis, except
just reduce the amount you consume. Do not overeat. Therefore, the amount of
food you eat should be such that you do not feel lethargic and at night you feel
refreshed with only three to four hours of sleep.
People
feed young children magas, gundarpak, rich Indian sweets made from ghee etc.
that has very negative effect through the effects of sexual impulses, with the
result that they deteriorate morally. Therefore, too much of it should not be
given to young children. You have to have some norms.
I
am alerting you to the fact that if you want to practice brahmacharya, you
should not eat any onions and garlic and potatoes.
Questioner:
We cannot eat these three?
Dadashri:
It is a wrong philosophy to combine practice of brahmacharya and eating onions,
garlic or potatoes. This is contradictory to brahmacharya.
Questioner:
Are these three food items avoided for practice of ahimsa, non-violence or is it
for some other reason?
Dadashri:
These three food items incite sexual impulses greatly and lead to abrahmacharya.
These rules have to be followed in order to preserve one’s brahmacharya.
[13] The Science Of Brahmacharya
What
is brahmacharya? It is the life force of the body (non-self). What is the
ultimate essence of the food we eat and drink? Brahmacharya! If
this essence, brahmacharya disappears, then the foundation of the relative self
to the pure Self becomes unstable and loose. And then the exact experience and
attainment of the Self becomes very difficult. Therefore, brahmacharya is a
critical spiritual practice. There is no end to bliss if there is Gnan on one
side and brahmacharya on the other. Then it brings about an unbelievable change.
It is because brahmacharya is the life force and the essence of the body.
What
happens in the stomach to all that you eat and drink?
Questioner:
It is converted into blood.
Dadashri:
What happens to that blood?
Questioner:
The blood is converted into semen.
Dadashri:
Really! Do you understand what semen is? The blood is converted into semen and
then what happens to that semen? Do they not talk about seven elements of the
blood? From one of these elements
bone is formed, from the second flesh is formed, and so on until the last of all
to be formed is semen. Semen is the essence of the body. Just as clarified
butter,ghee is the extract of milk, the essence of food is semen.
The
essence of worldly life is moksha and the essence of the body is semen. All the
things in the world are by nature draining down. Semen is the only one that will
rise if you want to. Therefore the seeds of intent for the
energy of the semen to rise higher towards spiritual and ultimately the
Self should be sown.
Questioner:
If I stay in this Gnan then would it rise up naturally on its own?
Dadashri:
Yes, and this Gnan is such that if you remain in Gnan, you would not have any
problems, but when ignorance arises, this disease of sexuality arises. You have
to maintain awareness at that time. There is endless violence in sex. There is
not as much violence in eating and drinking.
Scientists
and all the other people of the world say that semen and ovum both drain down by
nature. This is true, but it happens because of ignorance. In Gnan, they rise.
This is the power and the energy of Gnan. Where there is Gnan, there is no
sexual impulse.
Questioner:
What happens when the energy of the Self (atmavirya) expresses?
Dadashri:
The power of the Self increases a lot.
Questioner:
Then what is the connection energy of the Self and
awareness?
Dadashri:
Awareness is considered a part of the energy of the Self. Absence of this energy
of the Self means the presence of worldly knots and confusion, with resultant
inability to solve worldly problems and puzzles. The person with this energy of
the Self is never deluded or confused, no matter what obstacles come forth in
the world. Now all these energies will be manifest in you.
Questioner:
Do these energies arise through practice of brahmacharya?
Dadashri:
Yes, only when brahmacharya is practiced properly and there has not been any
slip-ups. It has so happened that all this knowledge has been given to you
before you have learnt how to handle your self socially.
The
energy of the Self will flow towards the interest and desire of the owner.
What
kind of desire do these people have? In ice-cream, not in Atma.
When
the transformation begins, you do not like this worldly life, you do not like
the most beautiful things in this world. The intense focus now is entirely on
the Soul. The direction of ‘like’ has changed.
And
when energy of the body rises, you do not like anything about the soul.
Questioner:
How does the energy of the Self arise?
Dadashri:
If you’ve made a firm resolve of brahmacharya and if you follow my agna, then
the energy will rise.
It is not in nature of semen to flow lower and dissipate. It happens to drain because of one’s lack of resolve. Once a firm decision is made, it changes its direction and thereafter, the aura and glow on the face will be apparent to all. If a practitioner of brahmacharya, does not have this aura and glow on the face then the brahmacharya is incomplete, and is yet to be attained.
Questioner:
What signs are evident when the semen energy is rising?
Dadashri:
Aura of brilliance and glow is apparent, power of mind increases, speech comes
out first class in the one who is attaining the energy of brahmacharya. His
speech is very sweet. His acts win you over.
These are all the qualities. This takes a lot of time, it does not happen
right away, just like that.
Questioner:
Why do wet dreams happen?
Dadashri:
If there is a tank of water, and the water starts dripping then would you not
understand that there is an overflow occurring from the top? Wet dream is an
overflow. When a tank overflows, should you have a natural outlet?
Therefore
if you control what you eat, you would not have wet dreams. That is why these
sadhus eat only once a day. They do not take anything else, such as tea.
Questioner:
In this the evening meal is important. We should decrease the evening meal.
Dadashri:
You do not need an evening meal at all. This
Jain maharaj here only has one meal per day.
Even
then there is no problem of loss of semen in the wet dream. The Lord has said
this too. The force of the full tank will pop the cork below. Until brahmacharya
takes hold, the semen will drain for sure. The rise of the semen begins with the
vow of brahmacharya.
Proceed
with great caution. There is no problem if the semen discharges in a wet dream
on its own four times in a month, but you must not discharge it intentionally
with masturbation. That is a mistake. It is like committing suicide.
This is all a result of eating odd things. Who would give the freedom for
this type of discharge of wet dreams? That master says that there should not
even be a discharge. Then what, should you jump in a well and kill yourself?
Questioner:
Is the discharge of semen part of the nature of the non-self
(pudgal) or is it because there some leakage of ours, somewhere?
Dadashri:
When you see someone, and when your
vision becomes sexual, certain part of the semen becomes ‘exhausted’.
Questioner:
That also happens with thoughts.
Dadashri:
It becomes ‘exhausted’ through sexual thoughts as well, just as it becomes
‘exhausted’ through the sexual look. The stock, that has been
‘exhausted’, then discharges.
Questioner:
But those who practice brahmacharya do not have those circumstances, they stay
away from women, they do not keep pictures of women or calendars with pictures
of women and yet their semen discharge occurs. Isn’t this a natural process?
Dadashri:
Even then, he can see sex with in his mind. Secondly, if he eats too much and if
too much semen is being produced from it, then it is possible for it to flow
out.
Who
does semen not leak out? A person whose semen becomes very strong, has become
very thick, would not leak out. All these others are semen that has become thin.
Questioner:
Can the flow of semen be stopped through power of the mind?
Dadashri:
Power of mind the works a lot. It is only the power of mind that works. But it
has to be in conjunction with Gnan. Power of mind would not stay on its own.
Questioner:
Is the discharge of semen in dreams due to shortcomings from the past life?
Dadashri:
All the shortcomings of the past go away in the state of dreams. I do not count
what happens in the state of dreams as an offence. I count what happens in the
state of awareness as an offence, awareness with open eyes. Even then, dreams
would come. Therefore it is not worth disregarding them completely. One should
be cautious there. After being in a state of dreams, in the morning, you need to
do pratikraman that this should not happen again. If you follow our five Agnas,
not a single sexual impulse will arise, ever.
If
you want to practice brahmacharya then you need to be cautious. Once the semen
energy starts rising, then its upward flow is automatic.
So far this has not happened. Its nature is still one of discharge and
draining down. It is only when the semen starts rising that everything raises.
Then your speech would be wonderful; the spiritual insights from within would
also have blossomed at a higher level. Once the semen has progressed to a higher
level then there would not be any problems but until then a lot of discipline
must be maintained regarding food intake. For the energy of the semen to rise
higher do you not need to help this person who wants to attain full brahmacharya
or would it just carry on by itself?
If
brahmacharya is preserved thus of for a few years with right control, then the
semen energy rises. After that one will retain the spiritual essence of any of
these scriptures and books. Otherwise it is not easy to retain this essence.
You will forget as soon as you read something.
Questioner:
Are the various practices of yoga like deep breathing, pranayama etc.,
helpful in practicing brahmacharya?
Dadashri:
It can be helpful if it is done with the intention of practicing brahmacharya.
The intention should be one for practicing brahmacharya. If your intention were
to improve your health then it would improve your health. Therefore, it depends
on your intent. But do not get involved in all this, otherwise your Soul would
be left behind.
Now
the vow of brahmacharya has been taken. Something unususal happens, then one
becomes uneasy and confused. One boy was uneasy so I asked him, ‘ Why are you
so uneasy?’ He told me that he was shy of telling me something and so I told
him to write it on a piece of paper and give to me. He said, ‘I have wet
dreams two to three times a month’. I
said to him, ‘Oh dear, why are you so scared of telling me just that? You do
not intend for it to happen, do you?” He told me emphatically that it was not
his intention. So I informed him
that if his intentions are pure, then it is still considered brahmacharya. He
wanted to know why it should happen. I
asked him that it was just an emptying of what is being filled. Make sure that your intent does not get spoiled in this.
Preserve this purity of intent. Do not believe that there is pleasure and
happiness in this discharge. If any one here were confused and uneasy, I would
clarify it right away.
If
you get involved in a sexual impulse, then the stock of semen from within would
exhaust and drop and go down. There it will accumulate and then get discharged
very quickly. But if that thought that has arisen as a result of the sexual
impulse is uprooted and thrown away as soon as it comes, then the semen will not
exhaust and therefore will not go down. It will rise to a higher level in the
spiritual realm. There is tremendous science happening within.
Questioner:
As soon as the thought arises?
Dadashri:
The moment the sexual thought arises. It may not come out but it has already
separated inside for discharge. It is no more part of the body. It is ready to
be discharged.
Questioner:
If pratikraman is done once it has been separated for discharge, then is it
still possible for it to rise higher?
Dadashri:
What happens when you do pratikraman? It shows that you are detached from it and
that you do not have anything to do with it what so ever.
The
karma effects, brought forth from past life, are bound to discharge. The sexual
thought will arise. Any
encouragement given to it renders the semen virtually lifeless and then somehow
or the other it will find its way out to be discharged. If the semen gets
retained, and there is not a single thought of sex, then the energy of semen will rise. It expresses as the energy of words
spoken. The one who practices brahmacharya gains everything. It manifests in his
speech, in his intellect and in his understanding. In abrahmacharya the words
does not take hold in others or blossom. They
are useless. It is only when the energy of the semen rises that that the speech
becomes of top quality and all the other energies express. All the veils of
ignorance are destroyed.
Otherwise
I have already called sex and sexuality a refuse. All that forms within is
happening for the sole purpose of the toilet and excretion.
When
does a sexual thought arise? It does so when you see someone, an attraction
occurs and then the thought arises. Sometimes a sexual thought may occur without
any attraction. Once a thought of sexual thought arises then mind immediately
gets stirred up, and with this stirring the semen exhausts instantly, on the
moment. That is why you should uproot the sexual thought before it
sprouts into a tiny sapling. Everything else is acceptable, but this sapling of
sex is very dangerous and difficult to destroy.
You
must stay away from any touch that hurts your brahmacharya. You must avoid any
company of the person that is harmful to you. That is why the authors of the
scriptures had made so many arrangements for brahmacharya. Arrangements such as,
you should not sit wherever a woman was sitting previously if you want to
practice brahmacharya. You can sit and remain there, if you want to remain in
the worldly life.
Questioner:
Therefore, in exact brahmacharya not even a single sexual thought should arise.
Dadashri:
Thoughts cannot be stopped from coming. The stock of past life stored within you
will unfold and therefore the thoughts will come, but the answer to this is
pratikraman. It would be wrong if one were to insist that thoughts must not
arise.
Questioner:
Doe that mean that we should reach that stage?
Dadashri:
Yes, but the state where no sexual thoughts arise, comes from the spiritual
development of many life times. Your progress by doing constant pratikramans
will come to a level where there will be no sexual impulses, and that is the
attained brahmacharya. Once pratikramans start, the end would come after five to
ten lives. It may not necessarily end in one lifetime.
People
are not aware of what happens when a sexual thought arises? They ask what harm
is there in just a thought. They do not realize how a sexual thought that lays
the seed of new karma and discharge that is the effect are connected. If a
sexual thought does not arise spontaneously, then it would come by looking,
externally.
[14] Brahmacharya : Eternal Bliss
In
this kaliyug, current era of the time cycle characterized by a progressive
decline in spiritual knowledge and moral deterioration, it is very difficult to
practice brahmacharya. Our Gnan is the ocean of bliss and therefore one’s
practice of brahmacharya is possible. What is the reason for abrahmacharya and
sexual indulgence? It is due to the fire of inner restlessness and
discontentment. By working all day long constant inner burning restlessness
arises. To quench this fire of restlessness and discontent within, one indulges
in transient pleasures of sex. Because of this Gnan there is not a problem for
you for moksha but if there is brahmacharya along with it, the resultant bliss
is boundless and eternal. There is endless bliss of the kind that the world has
never experienced before. Infinite bliss is produced if; thirty-five years of
the potentially difficult time, passes without errors in this vow.
Not
every one needs to take the vow of brahmacharya. It
is only for those whose for whom brahmacharya is ready to unfold. Such persons
are filled with constant thoughts of practicing brahmacharya. Some of them will
then take the vow of brahmacharya. It can be a problem if it is not. What can one say about the vision of the one who is
established in brahmacharya!It is very special. The vow of brahmacharya can be
taken for one year or even for six months. If you keep having thoughts of
brahmacharya despite your repeated efforts to suppress them, only then you
should ask for the vow of brahmacharya, otherwise it is not worth asking for
this vow. It is a tremendous sin to break the vow of brahmacharya after taking
one. Nobody forces you to take this vow.
A
lifelong vow of brahmacharya cannot be given, in this day and age. It is a
dangerous to do so. It may be given for a year. If one takes the vow of lifelong
brahmacharya and if he fails then, not only will he fall, but he would also make
me instrument of his fall. Then if I am sitting next to the vitarag Lord in
Mahavideh Kshetra, he will come there and bother me, ‘Why did you give me the
agna? Who told you to be over wise?’. He would not let me sit in peace with
the Lord. He will fall and he will take others with him. Therefore, you have to
continue to hold the deep inner intent for brahmacharya and I am giving you the
strength to do so. Do not rush make your wishes methodically. The faster you do
it, more deficiency there will be in it.
If
you take the vow of brahmacharya and follow it at its fullest without errors,
you would achieve a wonderful place in the world and attain moksha within one
lifetime. There is tremendous power in the words in my agna of brahmacharya. The
vow would not break if there is no weakness on your part. That is how strong the
power of my words is.
Until
then, severely test yourself to see if the inner intent is that of jagat kalyan,
the salvation of the world, or is it to feed the ego of false pride? It is
possible to find out everything by testing your self. If this is being done to
feed the pride and the ego, that too will dissipate in time.
If
only one pure man is around in this world, then he alone is enough for the
salvation of the entire world! For this, total absorption in the Self is needed,
and nothing but the Self is asked for. Start by having a constant inner intent
for salvation of the world only, for one hour and at times if the link breaks,
start all over again.
When
can you do the highest good for the world? It is easier when there is
renunciation and the appearance of it. It is more difficult when one presents
the appearance of the married Even for the latter it is possible, but only a few
will benefit. The public at large will not. Renunciation should be like ours,
the kind that is devoid of the ego. And this conduct, the attained brahmacharya
is a very big thing, of a very high level.
The
constant awareness of ‘I am Shuddhatma’, ‘I am pure Soul’, is the
supreme brahmacharya. There is no other bhramacharya like that. Yet if one
wishes to achieve the stage of an acharya level, the level of an elevated
spiritual master then he would need this world recognised brahmacharya. Presence
of a companion lady would not be accepted there.
By
just giving up abrahmacharya, the whole world subsides, effortlessly. By just
following brahmacharya the whole world ends, does it not? Otherwise, you can
give up thousands of things and yet not achieve anything.
By
just acquiring the agna of brahmacharya from the Gnani Purush there is the
experience of so much bliss! You have yet to put it into practice and yet you
already experience this bliss. Have you experienced such bliss?
Questioner:
I have experienced it, Dada. From that very moment, everything became clear
inside.
Dadashri:
It became clear from the moment you took the vow, right?
You need a clear mind when you take it. I had checked, his mind was clear
at that time. This is what is called the acceptance of brahmacharya, ideal
conduct. In our Gnan the ideal conduct is to be the knower and the seer. Thus
for us all we have the combination of brahmacharya, the ideal relative conduct
and the ideal real conduct. The world has not tasted the bliss of this combined
conduct. It is completely different.
Questioner:
When can you say that one is free from all sexuality?
Dadashri:
When you do not have any thought of sex whatsoever.
There
are no thoughts, no sexual looks or anything else along these lines regarding
sex. It is as if he is ignorant about it, then it is considered attained
brahmacharya.
[15] Awareness Of the Self Against Sexuality
Questioner:
How does one know that he has become engrossed in a sexual thought or sexuality?
Dadashri:
‘Our’ opposition exists in it. This opposition of ‘ours’ is the
anti-engrossment tendency. This objection itself is the tendency to not get
involved. ‘I’ do not want to enter anything that is sexual, and therefore
this opposition of ‘ours’ is there constantly. The opposition is the
separation. If by a mistake there is involvement and engrossment, then
pratikraman must be done.
Questioner:
There is definitely a determined nischaya and the resultant objection against
any element of sexuality, yet circumstances sometimes arise that causes one to
become involved in it, what is that?
Dadashri:
You cannot get engrossed if there is opposition and if you do become engrossed
then you are said that have stumbled. And for that there is pratikraman.
You
should use two kinds of visions. You already have the vision that, ‘he is pure
Soul’. The second vision should be used when an attraction arises. This second
vision is the ‘three vision’. If you do not use the ‘three vision’ you
will be deluded and pulled.
Attraction
would not occur if one were to see the body as it is. But this is not possible
for ordinary human beings. For me this is natural. I see everything as it is.
Questioner:
I do not understand when you say you see the body as it is. Please explain.
Dadashri:
It means that no matter what kind of clothes a man or a woman is wearing, the
first vision is that of nakedness, the second vision is of that without skin,
and the third vision is of all the internal organs and contents. Will there be
any sexual attraction then?
If
you see a woman and you immediately take your eyes away from her, but your eyes
keep going there only, your eyes keep getting pulled there, then that is called
a ‘file’. Therefore this is the only mistake you have to understand, in this
day and age.
Questioner:
Can you please clarify more as to
how to purify this vision?
Dadashri:
Once you acquire the awareness of ‘I am pure Soul’ then your vision will
become pure. If youslip and
experience a sexual impulse, then
you should speak aloud five to ten times, “I am shuddhatma, I am shuddhatma, I
am shuddhatma”, or say, “I am like
Dada Bhagwan, free from all sexual impulses”, and the awareness will return.
This is all you have to do, nothing else. This is science that can produce
results right away and if you neglect it just a bit, you will be thrown in a
different direction.
Questioner:
How does the awareness decrease?
Dadashri: A veil of ignorance comes over him. The energy that protects
and upholds brahmacharya is veiled. It becomes blunt. Therefore the awareness
becomes dim. Once this energy that preserves brahmacharya becomes blunt, it is
as good as being useless and it does not help. Then he suffers, suffers a lot.
Then the inner lawyers, the mind, the intellect will feed and nourish the wrong
understanding, ‘ so much has been attained in this Gnan, there is no real
problem now’.
Questioner:
What energy is it that protects the energy of brahmacharya?
Dadashri:
Once you have slipped, the protective energy that existed becomes blunt and
weak, inefficient. Just like a
bottle of milk with a loose cork, if it is lying on its side the milk will flow
out by itself, whereas before we had to remove the cork.
[16] Five Pure People For Salvation
You
just have to decide that ‘I will never slip’, and if you slip then I have to
forgive you. If ever anything deteriorates within for you, you must let me know
immediately so that a solution is given to you. It will not improve right away;
there is always the possibility of deterioration.
Until
you know the consequences of your mistake, that mistake will keep recurring. Why
does anyone not fall into a well? Why is it that lawyers make fewer mistakes? It
is because they know that their mistakes will have consequences. Therefore you
should be aware of consequences of your mistakes. You must, first find out the
consequences of what you are doing wrong.
For
those who have constant contemplation of Dada, the Gnani, all ‘locks’ get
unlocked, all the problems get solved. Oneness with Dada is contemplation. This
occurs only when one has a lot of meritorious karma effect. Contemplation of the
Gnani reaps direct fruits. That contemplation gives you energies similar to his.
Gnani’s Self-state is beyond imagination and yields unbelievable
results. He can make you like him. Contemplation of the Gnani makes one
absolutely and totally independent. Thereafter you will not feel that,
‘today I did have his satsang, I did not have his darshan’. With
contemplation of the Gnani, you have to become as independent as a Gnani.
Who, in this world, can
obstruct the one who has made a very strong decision to be the instrument for
the salvation of the world, for jagat kalyan? There is no power that can stop
him. All the celestial gods of the universe shower him with flowers and bless
him. Therefore, why don’t you decide on that goal? From the moment you decide
that, you would not have to worry about the requirements of your body. As long
as any intent for anything worldly remains, you will have to worry about the
requirements of your body. Look, how much prosperity and worldly ease this
‘Dada’ has. If there exists only this one desire, then one is blessed. And
the authority of the celestial gods is with you. These gods do have very real
power and authority. That will continually help you. There is a need of only
five persons with this exclusive goal. In it there must not be anything else, no
other subtle aims or desires. In times of difficulties or in sleep, there should
be only this one goal.
Remain
very alert and keep the ‘Gnani Purush’ over your head constantly at all
times. You never know when you will encounter difficulties. At that time ask for Dada’s help or summon him and he will
be present.
There
is no one to bother you if you are pure. Even if the whole world turns against
you I can handle them alone. I know that you are pure and so I am capable of
handling anyone. I have to be assured hundred percent. You cannot handle the
whole world therefore I have to take your side. So, do not worry at all. There
is no one in this world to bother you if you are pure. Dada can confront anyone
in the whole world who talks about him, because he is absolutely a pure person.
His mind is pure too.
[17] Exclusive Nature Of Brahmacharya In Akram
Vignan
Brahmacharya
has been accepted by the whole world. Without brahmacharya, the Self can never
be attained. Any one who is against brahmacharya will never attain the Self. One
must continuously vigilant against all elements of sexuality. Here even a second
of inattention will not do.
Questioner:
How much relation is there between brahmacharya and moksha (liberation)?
Dadashri:
There is a lot of relation. The Self cannot be experienced without brahmacharya.
You will never know,‘is this bliss from sex or is it from the Self?’
Questioner:
There are two types of brahmacharya practioners. One is that practiced in a
married state and the other in an unmarried state. Which is the higher of the
two?
Dadashri:
One practiced after getting married is higher but it is very difficult to do so.
We have so many married people practicing brahmacharya, but they are all in
their forties.
Ultimately,
even the married person will have let go of sex for last ten to fifteen years of
life. They will have to be free from everything. Lord Mahavir too, was free in
the last forty-two years of his life. There are endless difficulties with a
woman in this worldly life. Difficulties begin from the time they are joined
together in matrimony. How can two minds think alike? How long can they think
alike? Suppose, if they both liked the kadhi soup, but what about the prepared
vegetables? Here the two minds would not think alike and hence they attain
nothing. There is never harmony where there are differences in opinions.
Gnani
Purush is ‘open too sky’, without any secrets. He is available no matter
what time of the night you go to him. I do not have to practice brahmacharya. I
do not even think about sex. This body does not have those atoms of sexuality.
That is why such speech related to brahmacharya comes out. No one has spoken
about brahmacharya. People themselves are sexual and involved in sexaulity and
therefore they have not spoken against sex. And here, I have spoken enough about
brahmacharya that a whole book can be published. I have spoken about it in its
entire spectrum. This is no atom or subatomic particle of sexuality remains. I
remain detached from my body and live like a neighbor with my body. Otherwise,
this type of wonder would never be found, would it?
If
you eat a fruit but eat with repentance, then new seed would not be sown and if
you eat with pleasure that, ‘Yes, today I really enjoyed myself’, then new
seed would be sown.
Otherwise
this brahmacharya will slack off if you relax even a little. Therefore do not
relax, remain strict. ‘I do not want this even if I die’. Such strictness is
needed.
Even
at a very young age, I could not understand why people see happiness in sex?
What kind of a thing this is? Since a very young age I have acquired this
practice of ‘three visions’. That
is why I feel apathy towards this and I have a strong aversion. Whereas, other
people go for sex, and worship it.
What kind of foolishness is this?
Questioner:
Can the previous shortcomings of the past life showing up now, be gotten rid of
through strong decision (nischaya)?
Dadashri:
Yes, you can get rid of all shortcomings. A firm decision can achieve anything.
When
very tough circumstances of sexual environment and forces unfold in your life
they may unsettle you. Now what does tough circumstance mean? Say if you are
sitting in a very strongly built room, and many people outside are very angry
towards you, even if five thousand people out side are angry and shouting at
you, ‘We will kill you’, what
would you do? Let them shout as much as they want to.
You are safe in your strong room. Similarly, if you remain calm, nothing
will happen to you, but if you waver and become afraid then the other thing
would latch on to you. Therefore, whatever karma unfolds, maintain your
stability and inner calm by saying, ‘I am pure Soul and this is not mine’.
You must remain strong this way. It will come again and confuse you for a little
while, but nothing can happen if you maintain your steadfast calm.
These
boys who practice brahmacharya are practicing it in their mind, speech and body.
Outside, others can never practice brahmacharya of their mind. They do so only
with their speech and their body. With our Gnan, you can practice it through
your mind also. If brahmacharya can be practiced through mind, speech and body
then there is no greater energy that can be achieved than this. My five Agnas
can be followed with that energy with ease. How can the five Agnas be followed
without the energies of brahmacharya? Energy of brahmacharya is entirely a different thing.
These
brahmacharis, both boys and girls, are getting ready. For these young girls,
there would not be any need for applying lipsticks and powder, when there is the
radiance of brahmacharya on their faces. There will be an aura and glow like
that of lion’s cub. That is when you will realize that, that there is
something special here. This science of the vitarags is such that if it is
assimilated with understanding, then it is like digesting the milk of a lioness.
The result is majestic like that of the cub of a lion. Otherwise it would look
like a goat.
Questioner:
These people are refusing to get married. Is it not called an obstructing karma
towards liberation?
Dadashri:
If we go to Bhadaran from here, does that mean that we have created towards
going to other cities? One goes wherever it is convenient for him. Let me
explain obstructive karma. When you are giving something to someone who needs
it, and I tell you that it is not worth giving him. Then I have created an
obstruction, and hence I would not get that help from anyone when I am in need,
in my next life. I created hindrance towards that item for my self.
Questioner:
If you want to practice brahmacharya, can this be called karma?
Dadashri:
Yes, it is definitely called karma. You bind karma with this. As long as there
is ignorance of the Self, there is karma, whether it is brahmacharya or
abrahmacharya. Brahmacharya binds merit karma and abrahmacharya binds demerit
karma.
Questioner: What is the reward for someone who encourages brahmacharya,
gives encouragement to brahmacharis and aids them in every way?
Dadashri:
What do we want to do with the reward? We want to attain liberation after only
one more life, then where are you going to store the reward? You may be rewarded
with hundred wives. What are you going to do with such a reward? You do not want
to enjoy such a reward.
So,
he had already asked me, ‘All
this that I am doing now, would it bind merit karma?’
I told him that he would not bind any karma. At this time all this is in
the form of discharge and all the seeds have been roasted in the Gnan Vidhi.
Questioner:
All these people who become brahmacharis, is brahmacharya in their discharge?
Dadashri:
Yes, it is in their discharge. But along with this discharge they have an inner
intent, and that is a charge. It is because of this inner intent that the
brahmacharya remains strong. Otherwise discharge would always weaken it. And
with the inner intent, that he wants to practice brahmacharya, strength is
maintained. The only doer ship in this Akram Vignan, is that of following the
Agnas that I have given you. Anything that has to be followed, there is doer
ship in it. Therefore in, ‘I want to practice brahmacharya’ there is doer
ship. Otherwise brahmacharya is a discharge.
Questioner:
But, is practicing brahmacharya a doer ship?
Dadashri:
Yes, to ‘practice’ is doer ship. And the fruit of this doer ship will be the
samyak merit deed in the next life. That means that, in your next life, you will
receive whatever you wish without any difficulty and with all that ease attain
moksha. You can have the darshan of tirthankaras and you can also get a chance
to stay next to the tirthankara. There, all your circumstances will be very
wonderful.
Questioner:
What is the connection between fasting on Sunday and practicing brahmacharya?
Dadashri:
What is fasting on Sunday for? It is to oppose and confront sexuality. You do
not want sexuality to come to you; therefore by confronting proactively you
begin to become free from sexual impulses. I make him confront sex because he
cannot let go of sexuality. These are all melons; these are all simmering melons
of kaliyug. You cannot let go of anything, leave alone sexuality, and therefore
you have to find some bold means do you not?
Actually,
this science is such that one cannot say, ‘You do this and you do that’, but
this era of the time cycle is such that I have to. These peoples’ ultimate
outcome is uncertain. They may go on to the wrong path, after acquiring the Gnan,
and that is why I have to say this. There are no problems when power of my words
is present and working in them. Then they do not bear any responsibility of doer
ship if they follow my words. When I say, ‘You do this’, then you are not
responsible and my responsibility does not remain because I am the eternal
non-doer.
Now
who would leave this unique state for which there are no words good enough for
praise, for a state, which can be praised with worldly words? Who would touch
the refuse of the whole world when there is Gnan? The Gnani Purush sees all the
vishayas, objects of enjoyment of the world, as refuse. What is the rule of this
world? Any person who does not have
any thoughts about wealth, does not have any thoughts of vishaya and who
continuously stays detached from his body, the world will call him God.
[18] Dada Gives Encouragement to Aptaputris
The
world does not know that all this is wrapped up and disguised with a silk cloth.
It is the refuse that you do not like, that is wrapped in a silk cloth. Do you
not think so? If you only realize this then you will experience apathy towards
sexual desires. People do not realise this and that is why this world continues
the way it does. Do any of the ladies have such awareness? What would you find
when you peel a good-looking man?
What
would you find in a well-groomed and dressed man, when you cut him open? Ladies
deluded with illusion of sexuality do not see this and hence are they are
overwhelmed by his good looks. I can see clearly through him.
Women
should not look at men with sexual intent and vice versa, because they are of no
use to you. What is there to see in what Dada calls a refuse?
The
rules of attraction exist. They are that attraction occurs towards only certain
person, the attraction does not occur with everyone. Now, I will tell you what
causes this attraction.
If
no sexual attraction is happening in this life, yet when you see a certain young
man and you feel, ‘this boy is so handsome, he is so good looking’. Then you
have instantly sown a seed for your next life. With this, sexual attraction will
happen in your next life.
Nischaya
means that you do not need to be reminded of it. It is simply there. It is your
state. It remains as the foundation of your awareness, ‘I am pure Soul’. The
relative circumstances unfolding in front of you may make it seem that you have
forgotten it, but no, it is there. That is nischaya.
Inner
visual contemplation (niddidhyasan) happens the moment you think, ‘This woman
is good looking or this man is good looking’. It lasts that long. Then one
becomes that. Therefore, this problem arises only when you look, does it not?
Instead, keep your eyes focused downwards and do not make any eye contact. The
whole world is a trap. There is no freedom after been trapped. You will go
through life after life and not see an end to it.
A
husband who remains yours and who never forgets you for a second is a worthy
husband. But this will never happen. So
why then mess with these men who are by nature disloyal?
Therefore,
in this day and age, people are not hungry for love. They are hungry for sex.
Those who are hungry for love, they will not mind if they do not have sex at
all. You have to do darshan and revere such a person. These people are hungry
for sex. Hunger for sex means refuse and nothing else.
If
there is an intense love then there is a worldly life for him. Otherwise the
living is for sex as a refuse only. The sexual love like the necessity of
nature. Its like going to the toilet. Isn’t this nature’s call? Sita and
Rajchandraji were married, weren’t they? When Sita was abducted, Rama’s chit
was in Sita and Sita’s chit was in Rama. They were not able to have sex for
fourteen years, yet their chit was in each other. This is called a marriage.
Otherwise these are called nature’s forces. Nature’s necessity!
Therefore,
it is a problem only if you have a husband, is it not? But if you have taken a
vow of brahmacharya, then there is no sex or husband related problems. And if
you have such a Gnan, then your problem is solved.
This
lady’s firm decision is, ‘I want to attain moksha within one life. I cannot
afford to stay here, therefore I want only one more life’. Therefore she
received all the means to achieve that and she also received the agna of
brahmacharya.
Questioner:
Will we also have one more life before liberation?
Dadashri:
For you, it will take some time. For now, let things carry on according to what
I say. One life liberation is possible only after coming into the agna of
brahmacharya and also,
attaining Gnan. Even without the agna of brahmacharya moksha will occur
within two to four lives. You have to receive and follow the agna of
brahmacharya if you want liberation in just one more life.
After
coming into this Gnan you have to follow my agnas. As yet I have not given
you the agna for brahmacharya. I am not quick to give that because not
everyone will know or be comfortable in following it. For this, you need a very
strong mind.
If
you want to practice brahmacharya, you must be cautious that not a single
thought about another man arises. And if it does then erase it right away.
One
is shuddhachetan (pure consciousness, pure Soul, the Self) and the other is
mishrachetan (mixed consciousness, worldly self). If you get entrapped with
mishrachetan, a man, then, even if you have achieved the pure Self, it can lead
you astray. Therefore if a relation of sexual interaction occurs, then wandering
begins. You want to go to moksha and if that man is going into the animal
kingdom, he will drag you down along with him. You will have to go there because
you built a relationship with him. So you must see to it that a sexual relation
does not occur. When the mind is free from sex, then only it is called ideal
relative conduct. Then you would be ready for your role as an aptaputri( young
woman trained by the Gnani for the work of salvation of the world, a female
brahmachari). The mind fractures when it corrupts with sexual inclinations and
indulgence. Otherwise there is so much power within every girl. It is no
ordinary power. If the ladies are from Hindustan and they have this science of
the vitarag, then what else is left for them?
You
have to acquire your salvation by being blessed by the ‘Gnani Purush’.
Once you become the Self and reamain as the Self, others around will be
blessed without any words. Nothing
is gained from people who just keep on talking, Nothing happens by just giving
lectures or talking. On the contrary, the intellect becomes emotional by
talking. Just by observing the Gnani and his ways, his and his conduct, by
observing worldly form, all the inner intents of any worldly nature
dissolve. Therefore become that. By staying near Gnani Purush, become like him.
How many countless souls will be blessed if only five girls become like me. They
must become completely pure, and in presence of the Gnani Purush, they can and will become pure.
BRAHMACHARYA
Celibacy Attained With Understanding
PART TWO
Section:
One
The
Keys of Brahmacharya For Married People
[1]
Fearlessness In Sex, Not Sex, Is Poison
This
science of brahmacharya will liberate anyone, and is applicable to even married
people. The following of the agna of the Gnani Purush is required. Somebody with
a false pride may say, ‘I want to marry another one’. To this I would say
that have to be capable of it. People in the past had multiple wives. Emperor
Bharat had thirteen hundred queens and he still attained total liberation. Would
he have attained moksha if queens represented any obstruction? Then what is the
obstruction to liberation? It is
ignorance of the Self.
Sex is not poison, but
fearlessness in sex is poison. Therefore, do not be concerned. All the
scriptures have said it aloud that sex is poison. How is it poison? Can sex ever
be poisonous? It is fearlessness in sex that is poison. If sex was poison then,
and for all you householders and married people, I would have had to come and
push you out to the Jain monasteries where you would be forced to avoid
sexuality of all kinds. But do I need to drive anyone?
The Lord has separated all
living beings into two divisions; those who are in this worldly life and those
who are liberated. Those who are liberated are called the siddha
and the rest are sansari, involved in mundane worldly life. Therefore, if
you are an ascetic, a renunciator,
, you are still a sansari
just as much as the married
householder. So, do not worry. Worldly married life is not an obstruction to
liberation, sexual interaction is not an obstruction to liberation. It is
ignorance of the Self that is the obstruction. That is why I have written; that
sex is not poison, fearlessness in sex is poison.
If sex was indeed poison, then
Lord Mahavir would never have become fully enlightened tirthankara.. He too had
a daughter. Therefore, fearlessness in sex is poison. If you feel, ‘ Nothing
will hurt me in sex’, then that is poison.
I
have given the word fear so that one would have fear in sex. Involvement is
sexuality should be the last resort. So, what I am saying is have fear in sex
and sexuality. Even the Lord himself was fearful in sex as were all the mighty
Gnanis. Who then are you not to be
fearful of sex? Just like, if there is a lot of delicious food, you can enjoy it
but have fear and moderation in enjoying it because you will suffer if you eat
too much. Therefore, have some fear and moderation.
Questioner:
After becoming the pure Soul, shuddhatma in Akram Vignan, should I have sexual
interactions with my wife and if so, with what intents? Here, how can I deal
with equanimity here?
Dadashri:
If you have a wife, then you both have to reach an acceptable solution for both
in sexual matters. Your sexual dealings should be such that it is acceptable by
both of you. Stop any interaction, which is acceptable to one and not to other.
You should not hurt your wife in any manner.
I
am telling you that this medicine of sex is a sweet medicine. Just as you take
any medicine in the right dose, take this medicine of sex in right dose. When
does married life excel? It does so when you take the medicine only when both of
you have a fever. Does any one take medicine without a fever? If one takes
medicine without a fever, the married life would not attain harmony. Therefore
it should be taken only if both have a sexual fever. You do not take medicine
everyday just because it is sweet.
All
these highly evolved souls, such as Rama-Sita, had control over their passions.
They has sexual control. Is
abrahmacharya a divine quality? No, that is a bestial quality.
Humans lose their human-ness with abrahmacharya. The world does not understand
what sex is. Millions of lives die in only one act of sex through the loss of
millions of living sperms. This is tremendous violence. Not realizing this,
people believe sexual act to be the highest pleasure. They do not understand
that a life is precious and must not be lost except as a last resort. But what
happens when there is no understanding?
You
have acquired my thermometer now. This is the instrument by which you are to
proceed. Fever for both. Otherwise not. That is why I say that I have liberated
you even with a wife. No one has made this simple for you. A very simple and
straightforward path has been given to you. It is up to you to make the fullest
good use of it. It is extremely simple. This has never happened before. This is
the pure path, acceptable to the Lord.
Questioner:
If the wife has no desire, fever, what should she do if she has to take the
‘medicine’ given to her by force by her husband?
Dadashri:
What can she do? Who asked her to get married?
Questioner:
The fault is of the sufferer, accepted. Please
Dada, please show me a way, and show me some way out of sex, by things like
pratikraman, or something like that.
Dadashri:
Only through making him understand that Dada has said this is not something that
you can keep taking. Why don’t we take this medicine six to eight times a
month? The method is this: We are to remain still in our understanding, then our
body and mind will follow and then the problem with the file will be settled
with equanimity.
Therefore,
in Akram Vignan, sexual relation with your wife is considered brahmacharya. But
this has to be with discriminative understanding and your all inclinations and
impulses of a sexual nature towards anyone else except uour wife must not exist.
If such errors happen they must cleansed instantly with frequent pratikramans.
This for this era I define as brahmacharya. Why? It is because he remains within
his bounds of his rightful sexuality. Such a married brahmachari will eventually understand that
even such sex with his wife is a grave mistake and he will let go of his right
of sex with his wife.
[2] Sexual Transactions By The Sexual Look
These
days everything has become like an open free market of sex, has it not? At the
end of the day it may seem that you have not done any trading in sex, but this
is not so. The inner sexual look is trading for sure. It happens without your
awareness. This inner sexual trade of twelve or fourteen transactions has
happened just by seeing them. This
would not happen if our Gnan awareness were present. You will see the pure Soul
within a woman passing by, but how can others see that?
If
we’ve gone to somebody’s wedding, do you not see a lot of attractive human
beings of both sexes? You not have made about a hundred sexual trades without
your knowledge. That is how it is all. It is not your fault. This happens to all
the human beings. They are drawn to anything attractive. It goes for both, women and men. A transaction is made as soon
as they see anything attractive.
It
is possible to eradicate these sexual impulses and transactions with the right
intellect, even in the absence of Gnan. I had done so with my intellect. People
remain rampant in sexuality because of lack of right intellect.
[3] The Horrors Of Illicit Sex
If
you are living a married life, you may indulge in sex that is rightfully yours
and never even think of that which is not yours, because the consequences of
illicit sex are very grave. And if you have renounced sex then you should never
look towards anything sexual. It is inhuman to take what is not rightfully
yours, to wish for what is not rightfully yours and to wish for sex that is not
rightfully yours. Should there not be a line of demarcation between what is
rightfully yours and what is not? You should never cross that line. Still,
people have crossed that line, have they not? This is called beastliness. There
is no problem in enjoying what is rightfully yours.
Questioner:
Which tendency is that which drags one to enjoy sex which is not rightfully his
or hers?
Dadashri:
The intent of deceit and theft.
By
disregarding what is rightfully yours, if sexual activity occurs with another
woman, you will have to take birth wherever that woman goes. If she goes to a
lower life form, you too will have to go there with her. These days, this
happens everywhere. Have you any idea where your next birth will be?’ People
who have entered into sexual interactions that are not rightfully theirs will
have to suffer painful miseries. Even their daughters would become
characterless. The rule is that the person with whom you have interacted
sexually that was not rightfully yours will, in lives to come, become your
mother or your daughter.
Even
the Lord allows sex with your wife, not with anyone else. If He were to refuse
even this then he would be guilty. If repentance is done for all illicit sex,
then also one can be freed. But these people are enjoying with gusto all forms
of sexuality what is not rightfully theirs and that is why they bind a very
strong knot of many many lives suffering.
Illicit
sex is a violation of all the five major vows given by the Lord. In that, you
commit himsa (violence), you tell lies, and you openly stealing. It is a day
light robbery. Then, abrahmacharya is definitely there and the fifth violation
is parigraha (possession). Abrahmacharya is the biggest parigraha. The Lord says
that, there is liberation for the one who indulges in rightful sex but there is
no liberation for the one who indulges in illicit sex.
These
people do not understand much. They are like a stray animal that is always
looking for food ant tries to get it from wherever it can. They will look for
sex from where ever they can get it. Are you familiar with buffalos and it’s
relatives? They would clean up anybody’s farm.
There
are very few people who have an understanding of the importance of brahmacharya.
As long as they have not tasted illicit sex they are relatively safe. As soon as
they taste it, they go wild. This does not suit us. Our Hindustan has such
spiritually developed people. We are all here for liberation.
Illicit
abrahmacharya is such that a wife or a mistress of one’s in this life birth
may become his mother or his daughter in his next life. Such are the dangers of
this sexual world. That is why wise men practiced brahmacharya and got out of it
by attaining liberation.
[4] Sexual Loyalty In Marriage Is Brahmacharya
For
the one who is married, I have made just one rule, and that is that he must not
look at any other woman sexually. And if such a look happens, then do
pratikraman and decide never to let it happen again. Here is the definition of a
married brahmachari. He does not look at any other woman. He never looks at any
other woman sexually. He is free from sexual impulses when he looks at any other
woman. He is very sincerely repentant if a sexual intent and look arises when he
looks at any other woman.
Three
thousand years ago, in Hindustan, ninety percent of men were married
brahmacharis described above. How good were these people? Whereas today there
might be, perhaps one in a thousand like them.
Questioner:
Say if one has two wives, what is wrong in that?
Dadashri:
Go ahead and have two wives. There is no problem in this. There is no problem in
having even five wives. But if your intentions towards another woman become
sexual, if another woman passes by and sexual impulses arise, then it is wrong.
Shouldn’t there be some principles and rules?
There
is no problem in having multiple wives. There is a rule in Islam that you should
not have sexuality towards women who are not your wives. If you cannot be
satisfied with one wife, then have two. They have the rule that you are free to
have up to four wives. Who tells you not to keep four wives if you can afford do
so? Let people talk if they want to. But you should not hurt any of them.
In
this day and age, I consider sexual loyalty to one wife brahmacharya,
and I guarantee you that you will reap the same fruits of brahmacharya as
they did in the times of the Lord Mahavir was walking on this earth.
Questioner:
With regards to sexual loyalty to the wife, does the rule apply to the mind and
its sexual thoughts towards other women? It may be possible to be loyal by acts,
but what about the roving mind and thoughts?
Dadashri:
The loyalty should also be at the subtle level of the mind too. Whenever the
mind goes to another woman sexually, you should stay detached from it and
continue doing her pratikraman. What is the limit for moksha? The limit is where
there loyalty to one wife and one husband with the mind, speech and body in
sexual matters exists.
As
the breaths of life increase in frequency, the lifespan decreases. When is the
maximum number of breaths used? It is in fear, in anger, in greed, in deceit and
most of all in the sexual act with a woman. In the sexual act with a wife, they
are used up more, but in illicit sex with any other woman they are used up much
more. It is as though a reel has been suddenly unwound.
Questioner:
Are the celestial gods sexually loyal to only their devi, their wife?
Dadashri:
They are loyal to their devi, their goddess.
When they see someone else’s goddess and they may have a thought in
their mind that ‘she is better than mine’, this can happen, but there would
not be any changes in what already exists.
Questioner:
There is no question of having sons in the celestial world, yet they do enjoy
sex and each other, do they not?
Dadashri:
Their sexuality is not like the one here. This is nothing but refuse. The gods
would not even remain here. What is sexuality like over there? When his goddess
comes in, his sexual desire is satisfied, just by looking at her. That is all.
Certain gods are such that by just touching each other’s hands and squeezing
them, their sexual act is over. As the gods’
spiritual levels rise to higher levels, their sexuality becomes less. For
some, the sexual act culminates just by talking. There are some gods who are
simply satisfied by having goddesses around for about an hour and there are some
gods who do not have any need for a woman. Therefore, there are all kinds of
gods in the celestial life form world.
[5] The Deceit That Perpetuates Life After Life As
A Woman
Having
sex with a partner who is not married to you is this life’s cause to go to
hell. If you want to go to hell then think of doing this. I have no problem with
that. If it were convenient to you, I would describe the miseries of hell. You
will have a fever just listening to it, then imagine what would happen if you
had to actually suffer those pains? There
is no problem of sex with your own wife.
Nature
has accepted relation between a husband and a wife. There is no problem if this
relationship does not give rise to desires for illicit sexual desires. Nature
has made that much allowance. Rightful sex would not result in demerit deeds
whereas there are innumerable demerit karmas in illicit sex.
Just in one sexual act even with the wife, millions of life forms die.
Are these few demerit karmas? But it is still not as big demerit karma as having
sex with woman other than one’s own wife. There is no sin higher than the sin
of illicit sex
Questioner:
Who are the most likely to go to hell?
Dadashri:
Rapists go to the seventh hell. Whatever pleasure they had experienced, when
they experience infinitely higher misery and pain, they will decide that they do
not want to go to hell anymore. Therefore, in this world if there is anything
that you most definitely should not do, it is to rape someone. Never allow your
intentions to be tainted sexually. One who rapes anyone goes to hell and has
nothing but constant suffering there. In this world there is nothing higher than
a woman’s chastity.
In
this satsang if you have such a treacherous sexual thought than I would say that
any further satsang is meaningless. Here, this type of behavior would not be
tolerated at all and if this ever came into my attention, I will throw you out.
Whatever
mistakes one has made in this world so far, whatever serious mistakes they may
be, if one brings them to me, and if he were never going to make them again in
this life, then I would cleanse him in every way.
Do
you feel any repentance when listening to this?
Questioner:
Yes, I do feel a lot.
Dadashri:
If you burn your sins in repentance even then your bad deeds would end. After
listening to all this, if you were to ask me, “What would happen to me?” I
would reassure you that I would help you. There are conditions. You have to
wisen up from today. From the moment you become aware of illicit sexual
impulses, know this mistake and do pratikramans with sincerity. I would get rid
of your ticket to hell because I have the ways to do so. This is the power of
the Gnani Purush. I will show you what to do next. Then it would all disappear
and I would do many other vidhis, special blessings, for you.
Would
people not point finger at you if you were having an affair with another woman?
So, this is going against the standards of the world and secondly, you
experience so many worries and tension internally. The sufferings in hell are
like burning in the electric gas for a long time. There is one hell where the
suffering is from the electric heat and in the other hell the suffering is from
extreme cold. It is so cold there that if we throw the Pavagadh Mountain in it,
it would not remain as a solid rock. It will disintegrate into minute little
particles.
There
are a lot of dangers involved in having sex with a woman other than your wife.
You would have to follow her wherever she goes in her next life. She may come as
your mother in the next life. I have seen in my Gnan that there are so many
sons, these days, born to their mistresses of their previous life. The son would
be of an upper caste and the mother would be of a lower caste. The mother would
go to the lower caste and the son would have to go from an upper caste to a
lower caste again. Look at these terrible dangers. The woman of past life would
become your mother in this birth, and the mother of this birth would become your
wife in your next birth. Such are the horrible dangers of this sexual world. In
short, make sure you understand this. Prakruti, this complex of thoughts, speech
and acts, is not sexual. You are sexual. I have said this before in a different
way. But I have said all along that only this is the one serious danger.
Questioner:
Is there any danger if both the person love illicit sex?
Dadashri:
There is a danger even if both parties consent to it. What is the benefit if
both parties agree? You will have to go wherever she goes. You want attain
moksha but her actions are of this kind, then what would happen to you? It would
never work. That is why all the scriptures say that; the right discriminative
approach is for the people to get married. Whose home will be safe from stray
cattle? Then how would there ever be a safe side? Why aren’t you saying
anything? Are you worried about your past?
Questioner:
Yes.
Dadashri:
I will cleanse it all for you. All I want is from is that after meeting me there
must not be any more errors. I have lots of solutions to free you from any of
your past errors. You can tell me in private. I will cleanse it all for you.
Human beings are prone to mistakes, especially in this Kaliyug. It is impossible
not to make a mistake in this Kaliyug.
There
is no problem in divorcing one person and marrying another, but you have to
marry. There must be a boundary.
One without any boundary is like an ownerless bull. Then there is no difference
between him and the bull.
Questioner:
What if one has a mistress?
Dadashri:
If you want to keep a mistress, she should be officially registered. Then there
should not be another one.
Questioner:
You cannot register, because then she would ask for her share of my wealth and
that creates endless other problems.
Dadashri:
You have to give her, her share of your wealth, if you want a taste of her sex.
Why don’t you wisen up for this one life?
Why are you doing all this? You have done this for endless lives. Why not
behave for this one life? There is no other choice if you want true bliss. Does
a snake straighten up or remain crooked when entering its burrow?
Questioner:
It straightens first. I understood only today that it is wrong to have a woman
other than my wife. Until now, I did not see anything wrong in this.
Dadashri:
Nobody, in any of your past lives, has made you experience that this is wrong,
otherwise who would fall into this hell? This brings on hell.
After
acquiring this Akram Vignan of ours, if you repent heartily then all such
serious errors of your past would be destroyed. With true repentence even those
who have not received this Gnan, will be freed, but not completely. For you, who
have received this Gnan, if you continuously repent heavily, over all elements
of sexuality, then you will be free from all your errors and their future consequences.
Questioner:
Recently, you spoke about man becoming a source of encouragement for a woman
perpetuating her deciet, in matters of sex. The advances of the man deceive the
woman. In our worldly dealings, if I am at all responsible for worsening her
original deceit that is part of her nature as a woman, please do a vidhi
(special blessing) for me so that I may be freed from this responsibility.
Dadashri:
Yes, I will do the vidhi for you. Man is responsible for increase in the
increase in deceit of the woman. Many men are unaware of their responsibility in
this. Even while he is following my
Agnas in every way, what does he tell the woman when trying to enjoy her
sexually? He would tell her that there is nothing wrong in what they are doing.
So the poor woman gives in and succumbs. She does not want to have sex and
wasn’t going to do so. Yet her prakruti, her nature as a woman is such that it
is difficult for her to rise above sex, so it becomes excited at that time. But
who is responsible for this result? The man is.
All
these women have slipped into womanhood; become women, because of this. If
someone says something sweet to her, she surrenders to him. This is very subtle.
This is difficult to comprehend.
It
is only because of sex that one has become a woman. Man has perpetuated the state of the woman in order to enjoy
sex. He encourages her, showers compliments on her and thus corrupts her. Even
when she may not have any beauty or charm, she believes she has. What makes her
believe so? She has been brainwashed by men, into believing, ‘What is wrong in
it?’ She has not believed that on her own. Man has always told her, ‘you are
very beautiful, there is no other woman like you’; she believes it. Man has
kept a woman as a women life after life by this falsehood for his own pleasure.
And the woman believes that she is making a fool of the man. A man enjoys
her and moves on. You do not seem
to understand much, do you? May be a little?
Questioner:
I can understand it completely. So far I had the understanding that, men were
free from any faults in the matters of sex. But from today’s talk, I realize
that men become very responsible in this way.
Dadashri:
Man only is responsible. To keep a woman as a woman is man’s doing.
Whatever
happens, if the husband is not there, if the husband has died even then she does
not give in to another man. No matter what the other man is, even if God himself
comes down as a man, she will still say no, “ I have a husband, he is my
Lord”. This is called a sati. Can
any one be considered a sati these days? It is not always like this, is it?
Times are different now days aren’t they? In Satyug times there were some
satis.
This
is for one who wishes to be a sati. This way they can one day become a sati.
Today, do you know that sex is being sold at the price of bangles? Do you not
understand what I am saying?
Questioner: Yes, it is being sold at the price of bangles.
Dadashri: At which market? In colleges?
At what price is it being sold? Sex is sold at the price of gold. Some is
sold at the price of diamonds. Not everywhere. Some do not even accept gold. No
matter what you offer them, they will not accept it. But other women sell sex
these days, if not at the price of gold then at some other price.
A
sati is a chaste woman. Sati is a woman who has one husband. Through mind, body
and speech she has no use for any other man.
One may not be a sati to begin with, but she too can become a sati from
the moment she makes a firm decision to be so, even if she has been corrupted in
sex before.
Questioner:
Will the deceit begin to dissolve as that chastity and the resolve for it is
preserved?
Dadashri:
Once the chastity through thoughts, speech and acts begins, the deceit begins to
leave. You do not have to do anything. Those traditional satis were so from
birth. They did not have a blemish as far as sex was concerned.
And, for you the blemishes of sexual misconduct of this life remain and
therefore you have to attain liberation by becoming a man again in the next
life. Everything ends right here when one becomes a sati, brahmacharya in
action. All the women who become satis attained liberation directly. Can you
understand this a little? You will have to become a sati, pure, to attain moksha.
Questioner:
Yes. Therefore it is not a fact
that a woman would remain as a woman for a long time in multiple lives. But
because the women do not know this knowledge and solution, they are lost.
Dadashri:
If the solution happens then a woman is a man really. These poor women do not
understand this tuber of sexuality and deceit within them which part of their
nature. And in matters of sexuality they have a lot of interest. They derive
pleasure from it. And they remain stuck in sexuality.
No one knows the subtle way out and no one shows the way out. Only the
satis know it. Apart from her husband, she never thinks of anyone else. If her
husband dies suddenly or goes away, even then she would not. To her, he is the
only husband. All the deceit of these satis dissolves.
People
suspect their daughters who are just going out to school. They even suspect
their own wives. These types of treacheries exist. Isn’t there treachery even
in the homes today? In this kaliyug there is treachery in one’s own home.
Kaliyug means the time of treachery. There is nothing but deceit and treachery.
For what happiness do they do all this? Even that is done in gross unawareness.
Questioner:
What adjustments does one have to make where tubers of suspicion have already
been formed in one’s mind?
Dadashri:
The faults of sexual misconduct that you see in a person, do you think that they
are new and did not exist before? Have they arisen out of the blue? That is why
it is worth understanding that this is how it all is in this world. In this day
and age do not judge anyone by his or her sexual conduct. This is how it is
everywhere. It may not be openly evident but their minds are filled with sexual
misconduct and wrong sexual impulses. And in all this world of sexuality, the
woman is the storehouse of sexual deceit and illusion. That is why the life
after life as a woman is perpetuated and there is no escape from it. Of all this
therefore, the fortunate ones are the ones who become free from all elements of
sexuality and attain brahmacharya.
Questioner:
We know that this is going on all around, yet when the mind suspects someone, we
get engrossed in it. What adjustments do we take there?
Dadashri:
Having realized the Self, do not get involved in anything else.
Remain as the Self. Everything else is of the foreign department; the
non-Self and You should remain in the home department, the Self. Why don’t you
remain as the Self? This type of Gnan cannot be attained over and over again,
therefore get your work done. One gentleman kept getting suspicious about his
wife. I asked him what caused him to be suspicious? Was he suspicious because he
saw something? Was it not occurring before he saw it? The ones who get caught,
people call them thieves. But those that do not get caught, are all thieves from
within.
What
is there to be scared of when you are the pure Soul? This is all discharge of
what had been charged in your past life. The whole world is clearly a discharge.
There is nothing other than discharge in this world. That is why I say that
there is no one at fault because it is all a discharge.
Questioner:
So, does the law of karma works there too?
Dadashri:
Yes, it is the law of karma that is working, nothing else. It is not the fault
of the man; it is the karma that makes him spin. But suspicion will kill him for
no reason.
Therefore,
whoever wants peace regarding the sexual conduct of his wife, he should marry an
ugly woman so that no one would have sexual impulses for her. No one will be
willing to keep her. And she herself would say, ‘No one would keep me. It is
just this husband that I have found who would keep me’. That is why she would
remain very sincere to you. Otherwise, if she were beautiful, people would enjoy
her with sexual looks. If she is pretty, people will look at her with sexual
intentions. When I see a man who marries a beautiful woman, I think what would
happen to the poor man!
A
man would forget God if his wife is very beautiful, would he not? And if the
husband were very handsome, the wife would forget God. That is why everything in
moderation is good.
These
people are such that wherever they see a ‘hotel’ (place of sexual
gratification), they would ‘eat’ (enjoy). So it is not worth being
suspicious, in this world. Suspicions cause pain and heartaches. Both, women and
men, ‘eat’ whenever they see a ‘hotel’.
Men
and women teach each other a lesson in sexuality, but women win at the end
because men do not have deceit in them. That is why women deceive men.
When
sincerity and morality was present, the worldly life was worth living. Today
there is tremendous amount of deceit. No man would go back to his wife if I
revealed everything about his wife. I know everything about everyone but I never
say or do anything about it. Man is
often disloyal, but a woman is the factory of deceit. The museum of deceits
exists not anywhere else, except in a woman.
These
men start suspecting their wives if they come home a little late. Suspicions are
not worth having. Nothing is going
to happen outside of the karmic accounts. Try and make her understand when she
comes home but do not be suspicious of her. Suspicions breed suspicion and
invite disaster. Yes, you should warn her, but not suspect her. A suspicious
person misses the opportunity to be free.
Therefore,
if you want to be free and attain
liberation you should not be suspicious. If you see your wife in another man’s
arms, does that mean you have to kill yourself?
Questioner:
No, why should I do that?
Dadashri:
Then what will you do?
Questioner:
First display some dramatic anger and then I would try and make her understand.
After that, whatever happens is ‘vyavasthit’.
Dadashri:
Yes, that is correct.
[6] Zero Sex: Zero Clashes
Where
do quarrels occur in this world? Only where there is infatuation and attraction.
For how long the quarrels exist? As long as sexual interaction exists, quarrels
exist. Then you start doing ‘mine-yours’, ‘Pick up your bag from here. Why
have your kept saris in my bag?” etc. These quarrels exist as long as you are
united in sex. And once you have become free from sex, there is no problem even
if the things are kept in your bag. These quarrels would not take place then,
would they?
Questioner:
But seeing all this sends shivers down my body. It is also amazing that, despite
daily quarrels, husband or wife does not feel like coming up with a solution, is
it not?
Dadashri:
This has been going on for so many years, since getting married. They quarrel on
one hand and continue to have sex with each other on the other hand. That is why
I have said that both should take the vow of brahmacharya, and then your life
would be of the highest quality. All the fights are for selfish reasons. She
knows that he is not going to go anywhere away from her. He too knows that she
is not going to go away from him. Thus everything remains, the fights and the
sex, unchanged.
Misery
of dependency on sex is greater than the transient happiness derived from it.
When one realizes this, he will be free from the false infatuation and
vice grip of sex. It is then only that he would impress females. Otherwise they
feel that they can play with him through the medium of sexuality. The impression
of this nature gradually leads to an aura of awe and respect. Thereafter they
leave him alone. Otherwise, even the greatest of spiritual men in this world
have suffered at the hands of women and their sexual ploy.
Only the vitarags, liberated
ones have understood this, as is. It is because of their aura of purity that
women stayed away from them. Otherwise women carry so much power that they can
make any man helplessly subordinate to them in no time. This is the nature,
sexual character of women. You must stay away from women. You must not try and
deceive them otherwise you yourself will come under their deception. And this
web of misery has been happening for many lives..
When
a woman pushes her husband around and scolds him repeatedly, what is the reason
behind it? It is because the man is deeply entrenched in sexual gratification.
Woman does not push him around just because she feeds him food; she does so
because of sex. No woman would push a man around if he were not interested in
sex. She takes advantage of this weakness but if there were no weakness, she
would not be able to do bother him in any manner. Women are very deceitful and
men are naive. So the men have to keep sexual desire under control for two to
four months. She will then get tired and she would not be able to control the
man.
When
will a woman respect you and be deferential to you? If you were very sensitive
about sex, easily aroused by sexuality, then she would control you. If you are
sexual but not sensitive, not easily aroused, then she will develop respect for
you. If she invites you for sex and you say not now, after two to three days,
then she stays under your command. Otherwise you will be under her control. I
understood this at the age of fifteen. Some people beg for sex. You fool, do you
have to beg for sex? What would then happen to you if you do? What will the
woman do? She will abuse you. She will boss you around, ‘Hold this child, and
go take care of him’. Our mahatmas have sex but they do not have the craving
for it.
One
woman makes her husband prostrate to her four times, before she will allow him
to touch her once. You fool, why don’t you go jump in the ocean instead, what
is wrong in doing that? Take samadhi, final peace, in the sea, at least the sea
is straightforward; at least there is no hassle there. What kind of nonsense is
this of prostrating for sex?
Questioner:
Before, I used to think that all these clashes and arguments in the home were
due to matters and work of the household. And when I try to help out, they still
continue.
Dadashri:
Those disputes and clashes will continue. As long as there is sexual
interaction, clashes will continue. This is the root of all clashes. The person
who has conquered sex, has such an aura of commanding respect about him that no
one will bother him, no one can conquer him.
When
sexual interaction with Hiraba stopped, I started calling her ‘Hiraba’(ba
means mother). After that we haven’t had any difficulties. And whatever
difficulties and clashes we had before, were due to sex. But as long as there is
the after effect of the bite of sex the clash tend to remain. Even after
cessation of overt sexual interaction, the after effects of the prior sexual
interaction remain for some time and then end. So do the clash. I am telling you
this from personal experience.
Look
at the wonder of this science! All the clashes, not only with the wife, but with
the whole world stop. This science is such, and you are free when all clashes
end.
When
an intense dislike for sex arises, only then would sex stops. Otherwise, how
else can it be stopped?
[7] Sex is Beastliness
People
of my time were very good about one thing. They did not harbor much sexual
thoughts. They did not have sexual intentions towards women. There were may be
five to seven percent of such people who were sexually hungry. They would seek
widows who had no one else living at home.
In my youth every girl was addressed as sister, even if she was not
related. This was the common practice. Until the age of ten to eleven there was
such innocence in sexual matters that I used to run around without any shorts.
No
thoughts about sex would arise, so there was not a problem. That is why there
were no hassles. There was no awareness of sex.
Questioner:
Was this because of some kind of a community pressure?
Dadashri:
No, not due to any community pressure. It is the upbringing, the values
instilled by the parents. A three-year-old child would not know that its parents
have this kind of a relationship. This is how good their secrecy was. And if
need be, then on that day the children would be sleeping in another room. These
are the values of the parents. These days, the bedrooms are here and there. Plus
they have double beds, do they not?
In
those days, no man would sleep in the same area where a woman was sleeping.
There was a saying, in those days, that if a man sleeps whole night with a
woman, he would become a woman. Her female nature would influence him. So no one
did this. It is some smart person who discovered about sleeping together so that
double beds keep selling. This has been the cause of the downfall of people.
What has one gained from this downfall? All the contempt for the females has
disappeared. Now it would not take long to make the ones who have gone down to
go up.
How
can there be double beds in Hindustan? What types of animals are they? The men
and women of Hindustan were never together in one room. They always stayed in
separate rooms. But instead, look at it nowadays. Nowadays the father himself
makes the bedroom with a double bed for his son. And so they take it for granted
that this is the practice in the world. I have seen all this.
If
men left the company of women and stayed away from them for fifteen days, they
would become like God.
What
is unaccompanied ‘shaiyasan’? [shaiyasan = shaiya (bed) + asan (seat) ] It
means that you do not share your bed or your seat with anyone including the
opposite sex. There is no type of
touching by husband and wife. The writers of scriptures used to believe to the
extent that if you sit on the same seat that an opposite sex was sitting, then
you will be affected by him or her, you would have thoughts about them.
Questioner:
What form of karma is bound from sexual interaction and sexuality?
Dadashri:
The karma of entry into the animal life form is bound. The entire spectrum of
sexuality is itself the animal state. In the olden days in Hindustan there used
to be sexless sex. That is, sex was only for the purpose of giving a gift of son
or a daughter.
Questioner:
Dada, you stress brahmacharya and show abhorrence towards abrahmacharya. But by
encouraging this the population of humans in this world will also decrease. What
is your opinion about this?
Dadashri:
There has not been any decrease in population after so many surgeries like
vasectomy and tubal ligation, then how is brahmacharya going to decrease it?
They are trying to reduce the population through surgeries and still it is not
going down. Brahmacharya is a great thing for liberation.
Questioner:
Is it not considered abhorrence towards a natural process?
Dadashri:
This sexuality in man is not a natural process. It is pure animal behavior. If
it was a natural process, there would not be a need for brahmacharya. These poor
animals practice brahmacharya. They have sex only for fifteen-twenty days in
certain seasons and then they do not.
[8] The Continuous Bliss Of The Self: Brahmacharya
Questioner:
After receiving this Gnan, Dadashri’s Gnan, is brahmacharya
a must do thing?
Dadashri:
It is a must for those who can practice it and it is not necessary for those who
cannot. If it was amust then those not practicing brahmacharya would not be able
to sleep at night, in the fear of not been able to attain liberation. It is
enough to just realize that abrahmacharya is wrong.
Questioner:
Philosophers say that suppressing sex is against the law of nature, and makes
one even more perverted in sexuality. They say that sex is necessary for good
health.
Dadashri:
They are right. Sex is necessary for those who are ignorant of the Self, the
worldly people. Those who understand brahmacharya do not need sex. The one who
does not understand brahmacharya cannot be bound by the rules of brahmacharya
otherwise, major damage will be done, and he will be destroyed.
Sex
is such a thing that one day’s sexuality would not let one attain any
meaningful concentration on anything for three days. There would be instability
in the concentration, focus and task at hand. When one abstains from all forms
of sexuality for a month, his stability in concentration and focus is greatly
improved.
Abrahmacharya
and alcohol are two things that bring a very heavy veil of ignorance over Gnan.
Therefore, one must be very vigilant in these two matters. Alcohol is such that
it makes one forget, ‘I am
Chandulal’, then the pure Soul would definitely be forgotten, would it not?
That is why the Lord has said that you should be scared of it. The person, who
has a complete experience of the Self, would not be affected. Still there lies
tremendous danger in its ability to uproot the Lord’s Gnan and throw it out.
The
one who wants to have the total experience of the Self must definitely not have
any element of sexuality, and that too is not a rule. If, in the last fifteen
years of his last life, one has been free of sexuality, then it is good enough.
It is not necessary to take up this extreme exercise of brahmacharya life after
life. Letting go of sexuality should be a natural process so that it goes away
on its own. Your unflinching internal decision should be that until you attain
liberation, whatever two to four more lives you may have left, would be without
marriage. There is nothing like it.
How
long will this total experience of the Self elude you? As long as any element of
sexual impulses or sexuality remains this will not happen. This means that when
pleasure arises it is difficult to discern exactly whether it stems from the
Self or from the sex. If brahmacharya is present then it could be understood
‘on the moment’ that it indeed is the bliss of the Self. When one has this
total clear experience of the Self, then one becomes the fully enlightened Lord.
[9] Try The Vow of Brahmacharya
I
keep warning you to pay attention to this but to take heed is not easy for you.
Yet, by experimenting with brahmacharya, say for three to five days or for a
whole week in a month one will feel wonderful. If one has practiced brahmacharya
for a week in a month, then by the middle of the week he will experience
tremendous bliss. The bliss of the Self will express. This bliss is beyond
description.
Some
people say that they cannot get rid of sexuality. I ask, why are you acting
crazy? Why don’t you set some disciplined limit for yourself and then make
sure that you stick to it. In this day and age, nothing can be achieved without
discipline. Some flexibility is allowed.
Questioner:
What does one do in a situation where a man wants to practice brahmacharya but
his wife does not?
Dadashri:
If she does not wish to, then try and make her understand.
Questioner:
How should I make her understand?
Dadashri:
You have to keep making her understand and gradually it will happen. It does not
happen instantly. By continuous discussions and mutual understanding it will
happen. Both of you will have to come to a meaningful compromise. You have to
discuss and think about the harm of abrahmacharya and thoughts related to this.
You
will have to get rid of sex if you want liberation. There are about a thousand
mahatmas who take this yearlong vow of brahmacharya. ‘Grant us a yearlong vow
of brahmacharya, Dada,’ they say. They come to know all the benefits within a
year.
Abrahmacharya
is indecision. Indecision is not related to the unfolding of karma.
I
was shocked after talking to four to five mahatmas. I told them that this
falsehood of sexuality would not do. This is the indecision. You will definitely
have to get rid of it. Brahmacharya is needed first. You are really a
brahmachari by way of being the Self, but you cannot be in abrahmacharya in
worldly interactions. This is a clear conflict.
One
who does not have any opinions about brahmacharya or abrahmacharya is considered
to be in brahmacharya. To constantly remain the Self is my brahmacharya. That
does not mean that I do not accept the external brahmacharya of thoughts, speech
and acts. As you are living a married life, I have to say that there is no
problem with abrahmacharya, but your opinion for abrahmacharya must not exist.
Your opinion should always be for brahmacharya. Abrahmacharya for you is a file
that needs to be settled with equanimity. You are not able to experience the
bliss of the Self because you are still stuck with your old opinions about
sexuality and abrahmacharya. Once these opinions leave, you will be able to
experience the bliss of the Self. The veil of opinion for abrahmacharya
obstructs your clear vision and bliss. The opinion must be exclusively that of,
and for brahmacharya only. What is a vow? A vow is that which continues its
experience effortlessly. When is the mahavrat of brahmacharya attained? It is
the experience that there is not an iota of the thought of abrahmacharya, and no
memory of it.
[10] Confession Avoids Dangers Of Breakage Of Vow
The
Lord has said that the vow can only be broken if you break it yourself. How can
someone else make you break it? Someone else cannot break it. If vow is broken,
once it is taken, then the soul will also leave. Once you have taken the vow it
should not be broken. If you do, you must admit and say that now your power and
control is gone.
[11] Power of Conduct
The
ideal conduct of worldly interactions means the conduct of the pudgal, the
non-Self. This is visible through these eyes. When the other, the real ideal
conduct, the total experience of the Self arises, one is considered to have
become God. At the moment this, the Self is your darshan (vision), then it will
be your Gnan (knowledge) but it will take time to manifest as your conduct, as
the experience of the Self. Still, this real conduct has begun because this is
Akram Vignan, but it would be difficult for you to understand this.
Questioner: What more can we do for ideal worldy conduct?
Dadashri:
Nothing. What else can you do for the worldly conduct? Staying in the Agnas of
the Gnani is the ideal worldly conduct and if ever brahmacharya were added to
this, it would be much better. And
then only it is considered the ideal worldly conduct with a bonus.
The
only key to winning the world is if when the subject of sex does not become the
object of sex. Sex exists. It is there everywhere. When no element of
involvement in sex remains then the world has been won. The world can be
transformed. Others will be transformed by seeing your sheel. Sheel means total
purity in the world, combined with the absolute experience of the Self.
Otherwise no one will transform. On the contrary there would be an
adverse effect. Nowadays where is sheel to be found?
All
the twenty-four tirthankaras have talked about a need for a separate bed and a
separate seat, because two prakrutis (people, non-Self) are never completely
adjustable with each other. Therefore, they will keep ‘disadjusting’
(misadjusting), and hence perpetuation of the worldly life. That is why the Lord
had discovered this concept of separate bed and separate seat.
Section Two
The Path of Brahmacharya With Awareness Of The
Self
[1] Even A Sexual Impulse Is Dangerous
Even
the Lord had fear of sexuality. The vitarags have never had any fear of
anything, except of sexuality. What I mean by fear is that if a snake comes in
then wouldn’t every person lift their feet up?
[2] The Dangers Of The Unsatisfied Appetite Of Sex
Those
who are not satiated in their hunger for food, their chit will roam around food
and when they see a restaurant they will get stuck there.
Is food the only vishaya, object of satisfaction? There are these five
senses and there are so many objects of satisfaction through them. When you have
not been satisfied with eating, you will be attracted to more food. Similarly if
you are not satisfied in sexual looking, you will keep look around with all
kinds of sexual cravings. When a man has not been satisfied by a woman and vice
versa, their chit would be stuck in sexuality only. The Lord has called this
moha, the illusion and the attachment. It gets stuck the moment you see what has
not satisfied you. The chit gets stuck as soon as it sees a woman.
He
sees, ‘this is a woman’. This is the disease of the man. If a man has this
disease then he will see the woman, otherwise he will see only the Self in that
person. To see, ‘This is a man’, is the disease of the woman. Moksha happens
when this disease is eradicated. I am free from this disease now.
These thoughts never come to me.
A
man and a woman must never touch each other. Therein lies tremendous danger.
Until one has become Absolute, they should not touch. One atom of sexuality
entering you has the potential of ruining many lives. I do not have a single
atom of sexuality within me. Pratikraman should be done immediately, if even one
atom gets corrupted. Pratikraman
prevents any sexual intent arising in the other person.
Ignorance
of the Self, coupled with the present worldly knowledge, gives rise to
attachment and attraction. If you
can visualize the entire life spectrum of this woman that you are attracted to,
you will be free from the attachment and the attraction. If you visualize with
understanding what she looked like in the womb, what she looked like when she
was born, when she was a little baby, when she becomes very old, when paralysis
happens, when she is about to be cremated, you do not need to be taught
renunciation. People have lost this vision of their worldly reality by what they
see today. This is maya, the illusion.
[3] Endless Claims From the Happiness of Vishaya
None
of the objects of the four senses bother us and the fifth object, the object of
touch, involves another living being. This person will lay a claim against you.
Therefore the problem lies only in the sexual touch with a woman. This is called
a living ‘file’. If you want to stop any further sexual interaction, she
would say that it is not acceptable. She would say, ‘Then why did you marry
me?’ Therefore, this living ‘file’ would make demands. How can you afford
any demands? So you must not have any sexual touch with any living being.
Demands
begin because no two minds can become one. Except for the sexual interaction and
act all activities of the body involves only one mind. Therefore in all the rest
of things done by a human being there are no claims or demands.
Questioner:
Does one enjoy sex with attachment or with abhorrence?
Dadashri:
With attraction and
attachment and later that attachment gives rise to dislike and abhorrence.
Questioner:
As
a result of this abhorrence that follows in sex, aren’t more karma bound?
Dadashri:
It binds tremendous animosity and vengeance. In the absence of Gnan, even if the
person does not like sex, he binds karma and if he likes it then also he binds
karma. He would not bind any karma in the presence of Gnan.
Therefore,
wherever and whichever ‘shop’ (person) your mind gets entangled in, the
shuddhatma, pure Soul within that same ‘shop’ has the capacity to release
you. Therefore you must ask the pure Soul within her to free you from the
account and entaglement of sex and abrahmacharya. You would not be able to free
yourself if you ask for this release elsewhere. Only the pure Soul within that
person will able to free you from your sexual account.
Sexuality
is born out of attraction and from that occurs repulsion. The seeds of revenge
in the next life are planted when revulsion and repulsion follows attraction in
sex. The world s on this ‘foundation’
of revenge. There is no potential for revenge with the mangoes or potatoes.
Whatever
happiness you have taken in sex, it is all borrowed happiness. It was a
loan to you. And a loan means that it has to be paid back. You will have
no problems once it has been paid back.
[4] The Sexual Act Is Not A Discharge
There
was a Maharaj, Jain teacher, who used to say a lot about sex in his spiritual
talks but when the topic of greed came, he would not say a word. Some
intelligent person wondered why he never talked about greed? He talks about
everything else, including sex. He went to the Maharaj and without his knowledge
he opened his small bundle. He saw that there was a gold coin in his book, so he
took it and went away. When the Maharaj opened the bundle he discovered that the
gold coin wasn’t there. He looked for coin but he could not find it. Next day
Maharaj started talking about greed in his discourse that one must not be
greedy.
So
if you are involved in sexuality, then sexuality will start leaving you if you
start talking about it, because you have started opposing sexuality in your
mind. The mind’s vote on sex is different from yours. The mind realizes that
you have become an adversary and so it’s vote will not carry any weight. But
people do not say anything about sex because the deceit of sex, continuance in
sex, exists within them. Also it is
also not easy to talk openly against sexuality.
Questioner:
Some people think that there is no importance of brahmacharya whatsoever in
Akram Vignan. They say that everything in Akram including sexuality is only a
discharge.
Dadashri:
This is not the meaning of Akram Vignan at all. Anyone who thinks like that has
not understood ‘the path of Akram’ at all. If he has understood then I would
not have the need to say anything about sex again. The path of Akram means that
discharge is considered as discharge. But for these people sexuality does not
remain as discharge. They still have severe temptations inside that render them
supporting sexuality with all its attendant dangers vigorously. Their
continuance in sexuality is because they do not oppose sexuality at all. Has
anyone really understood discharge? Discharge is only discharge when one does
not interfere in what is discharging.
[5] Ignorance Is The Root Cause Of Life After Life
The
whole foundation of this world is the five vishayas. This is the enjoyment of
the objects through the five senses. Those who are free from this are free.
Questioner:
What is the fundamental difference between vishaya, which is enjoyed through the
five senses and kashaya, which are anger, pride, attachment and greed?
Dadashri: Kashaya is the cause for the next life and vishaya is the
effect of the past life. Therefore there is a tremendous difference between the
two.
Questioner:
Could you explain that in detail please?
Dadashri:
All the vishayas that are present now are the result of the past life. That is
why I do not scold you that if you want moksha then go and stay by yourself; I
do not keep pushing you away from your wife, do I? But I have seen through Gnan
that vishaya is the result of past life. That is why I have told you to go home
and go to sleep, deal peacefully with your files. I destroy the cause of your
next life but I cannot destroy the results of your previous life. No one can
destroy that. Even Lord Mahavir cannot destroy it. Lord Mahavir too had to
remain in the worldly life for thirty years and had a child. The exact meaning
of vishaya and kashaya is being unfolded here, but people would not know
anything about this. Only Lord Mahavir knew what this means.
Questioner:
It is because of the vishaya that the kashayas have arisen, right?
Dadashri:
No. All vishayas are vishayas but kashayas arise due to ignorance of the Self
during the unfolding of vishayas. If Gnan present, it would not give rise to any
kashaya. From where did the kashaya arise? All the kashayas arise from vishaya.
But it is not the fault of vishaya. It is the fault of ignorance of the Self.
This ignorance is the root cause of vishaya.
[6] The Self Is Beyond Sex
The
nature of vishaya is different and the nature of the Self is different. The Self
has never enjoyed any the vishayas of the five senses. And yet people normally
say that my soul, self, enjoyed the sex. Would the Self ever enjoy anything?
That is why Lord Krishna has said, ‘the vishayas are delving into vishayas’.
This is difficult for people to understand. They will simply say, ‘I am the
enjoyer’. If they say what Lord Krishna says that, ‘ the sex is happening in
sex, and the Self has nothing to do with it, it is very subtle’, they will
abuse this knowledge and become even more indiscriminate in sexual matters.
[7] The Science Of Attraction and Repulsion
This
has all arisen from attraction. The whole world exists due to small and large
attractions. God has no role in this. It is only due to attraction. The
interaction between a man and a woman is also attraction. The attraction between
a man and a woman is just like the attraction between a needle and a magnet. One
is not attracted to all the women. Only if parmanus (atoms) were similar then
attraction would occur with that woman. After the attraction occurs if the man
decides that he does not want to be attracted, he will still be pulled towards
her.
Questioner:
Isn’t that an account of the past life?
Dadashri:
If you think that as account then the whole world would be considered an
account. But attraction occurs because there is an account of subatomic
particles the two. At the moment
the attachment that arises is not really an attachment. If there is a needle and
a magnet, and if the magnet is turned then the needle would start moving,
although there is no life in the two. Yet, because of the quality of the magnet
there is attraction between the two. Similarly, when there are suitable atoms in
the body, attraction occurs with that person. There is a magnet in the other.
There is an electric body in this. Just as the magnet attracts metal and not any
other metals, the attraction has effects on the other person.
It
is because of electricity that these atoms arise and are attracted. Just like
the needle and the magnet, did anyone else get involved? Did we teach the needle
to start jumping up and down in the vicinity of a magnet?
Therefore,
this body is all a science. Everything is happening scientifically. Now, when
attraction takes place, one would say, ‘ I am attracted’. Does the Self get
attracted or attached? The Self is vitarag, eternally unattached. The Self is
beyond attachment and abhorrence.
This is all an illusion and if this illusion leaves, there is nothing.
Questioner:
Is there a need for pratikraman for attraction?
Dadashri:
But of course! If attraction or repulsion occurs to this body then you have to
tell Chandubhai, ‘Chandubhai, attraction is occurring therefore do pratikraman’,
then the attraction would stop. Both, attraction and repulsion are the causes
for wandering life after life.
[8] The Scientific Guide for Brahmacharya
This
type of book has never happened in Hindustan. You would not find such a book in
Hindustan. This is because those who attained brahmacharya in all its glory did
not stay behind to tell others. And those who are not true brahmacharis have
remained to talk about it but they have not written anything about it. If they
do not attain full brahmacharya then how can they write? One cannot openly
discuss the faults they themselves carry. The twenty-four tirthankaras, who had
attained total brahmacharya are all gone. Krupadudev
has also talked about this a little.
Only
the people who have read our book on brahmacharya can practice brahmacharya.
Otherwise do you think it is easy?
Jai Sat Chit Anand
The Awareness Of The Eternal Is Bliss
This
book is a translation of the abridged version of the Gujarati book, 'Samaj
thhi praapt brahmacharya', edited by Dr. Niruben Amin originally published in
1997. The final print
version of this book is expected to be available by July 2005. Date of Web Upload: August
6, 2004.
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