Anger is a weakness but people think of it as a strength. The person who does not display anger has more inner strength than the one who displays it.
A person usually becomes angry when things do not go his way, or when the other person does not understand him or when there is a difference in their viewpoints. Many a time we become angry when we are accused of being wrong when we think we are right. We think that we are right because of our perception. According to the other person, he thinks that he is right. Often, it is because we have no idea of what to do next, we have no foresight or intuition, that we become angry.
We become angry when someone insults us. We become angry when we incur a loss. In protecting our pride or our greed we experience anger. If one is to become free from pride and greed, one needs to have awareness. What happens if your servant were to break a china tea set? And what happens if your son-in-law were to do the same thing? Don’t you control your anger in the latter case? Therefore everything dependants on your beliefs.
Anger can only disappear if you understand that if someone causes you harm or ruins you, that person is merely a nimit (person instrumental in delivering the effects of your past karma) and that what you are experiencing is the result of your past life’s karma.
We should maintain awareness whenever and wherever we experience anger. When someone is hurt by our anger, we should repent and ask for their forgiveness and resolve never to get angry again. We must do this because we hurt the other person with our anger and consequently that person will harbor a grudge and bind vengeance against us, so that in our next life we will have to suffer the consequences.
However, when parents become angry with their children or when a guru becomes angry with his disciples, they bind punya (merit karma). This is because their aim is to improve their children and disciples respectively. If they were to do it for selfish reasons then they would bind paap (bad karma). This is the teaching of the Enlightened Ones.
Anger, the subject of this book, is the most troublesome and overt of all inner human weaknesses. It is discussed extensively for clear understanding. It is our sincere hope that the readers will find this helpful in their endeavor to free themselves from the severe grip of anger.
Dr. Niruben Amin
NOTE ABOUT THIS TRANSLATION
Ambalal M. Patel, a Gnani Purush, also commonly known as Dadashri or Dada, always used to say that it is not possible to exactly translate his satsang about the Science of Self-Realization and the art of worldly interaction into English. Some of the depth of meaning would be lost. He stressed the importance of learning Gujarati to precisely understand all his teachings.
Dadashri did however grant his blessings to convey his teachings to the world through translations in English and other languages.
This is a humble attempt to present to the world the essence of the teachings of Dadashri, the Gnani Purush. A lot of care has been taken to preserve the tone and message of the satsang. This is not a literal translation of his words. Many people have worked diligently for this work and we thank them all.
This is an elementary introduction to the vast treasure of his teachings. Please note that any errors encountered in the translation are entirely those of the translators.
Introduction of The Gnani
On a June evening in 1958 at around six o'clock, Ambalal Muljibhai Patel, a family man, a contractor by profession, was sitting on a bench on the busy platform number three of Surat’s train station. Surat is a city in south Gujarat, a western state in India. What happened within the next forty-eight minutes was phenomenal. Spontaneous Self-Realization occurred within Ambalal M. Patel. During this event his ego completely melted and from that moment onwards he became completely detached from all Ambalal’s thoughts, speech and acts. He became the Lord’s living instrument for the salvation of mankind, through the path of knowledge. He called this Lord, Dada Bhagwan. To everyone he met, he would say, "This Lord, Dada Bhagwan is fully manifest within me. He also resides within all living beings. The difference is that within me He is completely expressed and in you, he is yet to manifest."
Who are we? What is God? Who runs this world? What is karma? What is liberation? Etc. All the world's spiritual questions were answered during this event. Thus nature offered absolute vision to the world through the medium of Shree Ambalal Muljibhai Patel.
Ambalal was born in Tarasali, a suburb of the city of Baroda and raised in Bhadran, Gujarat. His wife’s name was Hiraba. Although he was a contractor by profession, his life at home and his interaction with everyone around him was exemplary even prior to his Self-Realization. After becoming Self-Realized and attaining the state of a Gnani, (The Awakened One, Jnani in Hindi), his body became a ‘public charitable trust.’
Throughout his whole life he lived by the principle that there should not be any commerce in religion, and in all commerce there must be religion. He also never took money from anyone for his own use. He used the profits from his business to take his devotees for pilgrimages to various parts of India.
His words became the foundation for the new, direct and step-less path to Self-Realization called Akram Vignan. Through his divine original scientific experiment (The Gnan Vidhi), he imparted this knowledge to others within two hours. Thousands have received his grace through this process and thousands continue to do so even now. ‘Akram’ means without steps; an elevator path or a short cut, whereas ‘Kram’ means an orderly step-by-step spiritual path. Akram is now recognized as a direct shortcut to the bliss of the Self
Who is Dada Bhagwan?
When he explained to others who ‘Dada Bhagwan’ is, he would say:
"What you see here is not ‘Dada Bhagwan.’ What you see is ‘A. M. Patel.’ I am a Gnani Purush and He that is manifest within me, is ‘Dada Bhagwan’. He is the Lord within. He is within you and everyone else. He has not yet manifest within you, whereas within me he is fully manifest. I myself am not a Bhagwan. I too bow down to Dada Bhagwan within me."
Current link for attaining the knowledge of
Self-Realization (Atma Gnan)
"I am personally going to impart siddhis (special spiritual powers) to a few people. After I leave, will there not be a need for them? People of future generations will need this path, will they not?"
Param Pujya Dadashri used to go from town to town and country to country, to give satsang and impart the knowledge of the Self as well as knowledge of harmonious worldly interaction to all who came to see him. In his final days in the fall of 1987, he gave his blessing to Dr. Niruben Amin and bestowed his special siddhis upon her, to continue his work.
After Param Pujya Dadashri left his mortal body on January 2, 1988, Dr. Niruben continues his Work, traveling within India to cities and villages and abroad in the USA, Canada, UK and Africa. She is Dadashri’s representative of Akram Vignan. She has been instrumental in expanding the key role of Akram Vignan as the simple and direct path to Self-Realization for modern times. Thousands of spiritual seekers have taken advantage of this opportunity and are established in the experience of the pure Soul, while carrying out their worldly duties and obligations. They experience freedom, here and now, while living their daily life.
Powerful words in scriptures help the seeker in increasing the desire for liberation. The knowledge of the Self is the final goal of all one’s seeking. Without the knowledge of the Self there is no liberation. This knowledge of the Self (Atma Gnan) does not exist in books. It exists in the heart of a Gnani. Hence the knowledge of the Self can only be acquired by meeting a Gnani. Through the scientific approach of Akram Vignan, even today one can attain Atma Gnan, but it can only occur by meeting a living Atma Gnani and receiving the Atma Gnan. Only a lit candle can light another candle.
WHO ADMITS THAT HE IS WRONG?
Questioner:If someone makes us out to be wrong even though we think we are right, we become angry with him. How can we stop from getting angry?
Dadashri: Yes, but providing you are right. Are you really right? Do you know that you are right?
Questioner: Our soul tells us that we are right.
Dadashri: In this situation, you are the judge, the lawyer and the culprit. Then naturally you are going to be right, you will not allow yourself to be wrong. The other person will think that he is right. Do you understand?
THESE ARE ALL WEAKNESSES
Questioner: Is it not good to feel aversion towards injustice? Are we not justified in feeling angry when we see blatant injustice?
Dadashri: Anger and hatred are weaknesses. The whole world has these weaknesses. Do you get angry if someone scolds you?
Questioner: Yes I do.
Dadashri: So is that a weakness or a strength?
Questioner: In certain situations it is necessary to become angry.
Dadashri: No, no. Anger is a weakness. To say that anger is necessary in certain situations is a worldly notion. People make such statements because they are not able to get rid of their anger.
A PERSON IS STRONG WHEN HE REMAINS UNAFFECTED
Questioner: Would it not be considered cowardly to remain silent when someone insults you?
Dadashri: Not at all! To bear an insult is a sign of great strength. If someone were to swear at me right now, I would not have a single negative thought towards him. That is strength. All the quibbling and quarrelling, is weakness. To bear an insult calmly is a great strength. When you overcome an insult just once in this manner, if you cross just one step in this way, then you will get the strength to cross a hundred such steps. Do you understand? If the opponent is strong then the other party will become weak, this is a natural tendency in everyone. But when a weak person harasses you and you do not do anything in response, it is considered a great strength.
In fact the weak should be protected and the strong people should be confronted. In this current time cycle, there is no such person who does this. Nowadays people keep badgering the weak and run away from the strong. There are very few people that protect the weak and stand up against the strong. This whole world keeps hurting the weak. At home the husband dominates the wife. If you beat a cow that is tied up, where will it go? And what if you were to untie that cow and then beat her? She would either run away or fight back.
A man who, despite being strong, does not harm his opponents, not even his enemy, is considered a powerful person. Is it not cowardliness when you get angry with someone who gets angry with you? I am saying that these inner enemies of man: anger, pride, attachment and greed are weaknesses. Why does a person who is strong need to get angry? People, however, try to control others with their anger. Those who do not use anger as a weapon have something very special. That something is sheel (extraordinary moral character). Sheel in a person subdues even animals. Lions, tigers and enemies will all surrender to such a person.
THE ANGRY MAN IS A WEAKLING
Questioner: But Dada, what should we do when someone gets angry with us?
Dadashri: They will get angry. Is it under their control? Their inner machinery is not under their control. This machinery keeps working any way it can. If it were under their control they would not let the machine overheat. To become even the slightest bit angry is like becoming a beast. One becomes transformed from a human being into a beast. People would not let such a thing happen, but what can they do when it is not under their control?
The world is such that there is no reason, at any given time, for any anger to take place. Even when children do not listen, there is no reason to become angry. There you have to handle the situation by remaining calm. To become angry is a terrible weakness. Anger is the worst weakness of all. You should be sympathetic towards the person who becomes angry and understand that he does not have any control in the matter. You should feel compassion for the person who has no control over himself.
What does it mean to become angry? It is like setting fire to oneself and then setting others on fire. Once this match is struck, he burns in the flames and then destroys the other person also. So if getting angry were under one's control, one would not get angry. Who likes to burn? If someone tells me that anger is necessary in this world, I would tell him there is never a reason for anger. Anger is a weakness and that is why it happens spontaneously. God has called it a weakness. God has said that a real man (Self-realized) is the one who has no weakness of ego, anger, greed or attachment at all. These men that you see around you, are weaklings, because they have no control over their anger and they do not know how to deal with it. Anger, ego, attachment and greed are all blatant weaknesses. Can you not feel your body tremble when you get angry?
Questioner: Even the body is saying that anger is not good.
Dadashri: Yes even the body tells us that it is wrong, when it trembles. So one should regard anger as a great weakness.
PERSONALITY WITHOUT WEAKNESS OF ANGER
Questioner: If we see a man beating a child, should we not voice our anger at him?
Dadashri: He will not stop the beating even if you get angry with him. Why would you get angry with him? He may beat you too. You should talk to him calmly and explain to him that it is a weakness to react in anger.
Questioner: Should we let him continue to beat the child then?
Dadashri: No, but you should ask him why he is beating the child. Try to make him understand. If you get angry with him, then you become weak. First and foremost you should not have the weakness within you. Those that do not have any weaknesses, have impressive personalities. When such people utter even a single word, everyone will listen to them readily.
Questioner: Perhaps they may not.
Dadashri: If they do not, then it is because of your own weakness and lack of personality. There should not be any weakness. One should have good conduct. One must have a personality. Even thugs will run away at the sight of such a person. No one will run away from an angry person. On the contrary they may even beat him up. The whole world strikes at the weak.
When can one acquire such a personality? He will acquire such a personality when he understands the spiritual science of the Self. In this world the relative knowledge gets forgotten, whereas the science of the Self remains with you.
FROST IS STRONGER THAN HEAT
Dadashri: When there is frost or an ice storm, it gets so cold that it burns the grass, the trees, and all the crops. Why do you think everything burns when it gets cold?
Questioner: Everything burns because of extreme cold.
Dadashri: Yes so if you live calmly and remain cool, you will become more effective.
DIGNITY WHERE ANGER CEASES
Questioner: But Dada, is it not a weakness to be too calm?
Dadashri: One has to remain within limits. That is called normality. "Below normal is the fever, above normal is the fever, and ninety-eight is the normal". Therefore only normality is required.
People are more afraid of those who do not get angry as opposed to those who do. Why is it? It is because one develops tremendous inner strength when his anger ceases. This is the law of nature. Otherwise there would be no one to protect such people. People use anger as a form of protection. In ignorance (ignorance of one’s real Self), one's protection is through anger.
IRRITABLE PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS
BE THE LEAST FAVOURITE
Questioner: Constructive anger or annoyance is good, is it not?
Dadashri: What do people call that? Even children will say, "He is always cranky!" It is foolish to become irritated. Irritation is considered a weakness. If we ask the children what their father is like, they would say that he is a very cranky person. Does this not discredit the father’s reputation?
If you ask a child whom he likes best in the family, he would say that he likes his mother the best because she does not get angry. The father undoubtedly comes last on his list because the father always gets angry. I would remind the child that his father is the one who provides everything for him and would ask whether he still favored his mother. The child would nod his head. Now tell me, we work hard, we feed them, we bring home the money and give it to them, and even then we come last.
ANGER IS BLINDNESS
Questioner: What is the main reason behind a man’s anger?
Dadashri: He gets angry because he loses sight. One bumps into a wall when one does not see it. In the same way, he cannot see from within, which is why anger occurs. When he cannot see what lies ahead of him, anger overcomes him.
ANGER OCCURS WHERE THERE IS LACK OF INSIGHT
When does anger take place? It is when his vision (darshan) and his knowledge (gnan) become obstructed, that his anger arises. The same happens when a person is overcome with pride.
Questioner: Please illustrate this point with an example.
Dadashri: Do people not ask you why you get angry? You would tell them that it was because you could not think clearly. Yes it is when people cannot think clearly that they become angry. Would they get angry if they were able to think? What is your reward for getting? Your only reward is that its sparks firsts sets you on fire and then you burn others.
THE FIRE OF ONE’S ANGER BURNS ONESELF AND THEN OTHERS
Anger is like setting one’s own home on fire. It is like setting fire to one’s home, which is full of hay. First his own house will burn and then the neighbor’s.
What happens when a single match is thrown onto a haystack?
Questioner: It will burn.
Dadashri: It is the same with anger. Whatever merits one earns over a period of two years, one will destroy in an instant by getting angry. Anger is a living fire. The person himself will not realize that he has destroyed everything, because the damage is not visible on the outside, but everything from within is destroyed. Part of whatever he has accumulated for the next life is expended. What would happen if more were exhausted? In his human form he enjoys eating bread, but in his next life, as an animal, he will have to eat grass.
No man in this world can conquer anger. Anger has two parts. One is discord and the other is restlessness. Discord is apparent to others and restlessness remains within, unseen by others. It is the discord that one is able to overcome. But in fact, as one suppresses one part of anger, the other will increase. When a person claims to have conquered anger, his pride increases. In reality, anger cannot be completely conquered. Perhaps one can say that he has conquered the visible anger, the discord.
SULKING (TAANTO) IS ANGER
When a person sulks in anger, it is really anger itself. For example, if a husband and wife quarrel intensely in the night, so much anger is generated that they both lay awake and restless the entire night. In the morning the wife serves him tea by banging the teacup. The husband will then realize that she is still sulking. This is called anger. Sulking can last for any period of time. For some it may even be life-long. The father will not want to see the son’s face and the son will not want to see the father’s face. Sulking is apparent from the disgruntled look on one's face.
Sulking is such that if someone was to insult me fifteen years ago, and I encounter him again today, the moment I lay eyes on him, I will remember everything from the past. That is taanton (the link of anger). Ordinarily people's sulking never goes away. Even renowned ascetics and monks sulk. If you were to provoke them and challenge their authority, they would not speak to you for weeks. This is taanto.
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN KRODH (ANGER) AND GUSSO (ANNOYANCE)
Questioner: Dada what is the difference between annoyance and anger?
Dadashri: Anger is associated with ego. When annoyance and ego get together, they result in anger. When a father gets annoyed with his children, it is not called anger, because it is not associated with the ego. Anger binds paap (bad karma), but the annoyance of a father will bind punyas (positive karma), because he is thinking about the welfare of his children. Anger is accompanied by the ego. When you get annoyed, do you feel bad from within?
There are two kinds of krodh, maan, maaya and lobh (anger, pride, attachment and greed).
One kind you can divert – nivarya. If you get angry with someone then from within you divert that anger and calm it down. If one were able to reach this stage, his worldly interactions would become very pleasant.
The other kind of anger is one that cannot be diverted - anivarya. One tries very hard but from within the explosion still occurs. Such anger is anivarya. This anger injures the person himself as well as others.
God has allowed a certain level of anger for the sadhus (sages, monks) so that they may uphold the austerity of their conduct, as long as it does not hurt anyone. My anger can hurt only me and not anyone else. That much anger has been permitted.
RECOGNIZE THE KNOWER
Questioner: We all know that anger is bad, but still…
Dadashri: It is like this: The one, who is angry, is not aware of the anger. The one, who is greedy, is not aware of his greed and the one who is arrogant is not aware of his pride. The ‘knower’ is completely separate from all these weaknesses. All these people feel that although they are aware of their weakness, why do the weaknesses still occur?
Now, who is the one that says ‘I know’? They do not know the answer to this. They do not know who the ‘knower’ is. This is what one needs to discover. If one can find the ‘knower’, then all the weaknesses will go. It is only called true knowledge, when it destroys all weaknesses.
KNOW THE CORRECT SOLUTION JUST ONCE
Questioner: I still become angry even though I know that it is wrong to do so. What is the solution for this?
Dadashri: Who is it that knows? If you had the real knowledge just once, there would be no anger. But because you still become angry, it means that you do not know. There is ego in your saying that you know.
Questioner: After getting angry I realize that I should not get angry.
Dadashri: No, but after you know who the knower is, there would be no anger. Let us say, there are two identical bottles standing side by side and you are told that one has medicine in it and the other has poison in it. Now if you mistake one for the other, then you can conclude that you did not know. If you do not mistake the one for the other, then one can say that you do know. This would apply to anger as well. The reason you become angry is because you do not know. You are merely going around with an ego when you say that you know. You are likely to bump into things in the dark, but when there is light and you can see clearly, you will not have any accidents. When we confuse the darkness with light, it is our own mistake. So come and sit in the Satsang with me and acquire the real knowledge. Then only will anger, pride, attachment and greed go away.
Questioner: But everyone gets angry.
Dadashri: Ask this gentleman. He is saying no.
Questioner: There will be no anger after coming to satsang.
Dadashri: What kind of medicine do you think he took? It is a medicine that removes the root cause of anger.
ONLY THROUGH RIGHT UNDERSTANDING
Questioner: I get angry with people that are close to me. The other person may be right according to his viewpoint, but from my viewpoint I become very angry. What is the reason for my anger?
Dadashri: If you are walking along and a stone from a building falls on your head and hurts you, will you get angry?
Questioner: No, because it happens on its own.
Dadashri: Yes, but why do you not get angry in that situation? It is because you do not see anybody there. Who will you get angry with?
Questioner: No one has thrown the stone on purpose.
Dadashri: And if you were to go out now and a little boy throws a stone at you, you will get angry with him. Why? Because you believe that the boy threw the stone at you. But if a stone were to accidentally fall and hit you, you will look to see whether someone threw it at you, but you will not get angry when you realize that it was an accident.
You become angry because in your mind you believe that a person is responsible. In fact, no one is able to hurt another person knowingly and so whether a boy throws a stone at you or whether a falling stone accidentally hurts you, it is essentially the same thing. It is illusion that makes you perceive that someone is responsible for hurting you. In this world no one has the independent power even over one’s own bowel movement!
You do have control over anger. When you realize that no one has thrown the stone that accidentally hits you, you do not get angry. And when you say, "Anger overcomes me"; it really does not. If it did, then why do you not react in the same way in the other situation? Why don't you get angry when a policeman tells you off? And yet you get angry with your wife, with the children, with the neighbors and with those working under you. Why don't you get angry with your boss? Anger does not just happen to people. People get angry because they want to have their own way.
Questioner: How can one control it?
Dadashri: The control is there. Recognize that the person who throws the stone at you is merely an instrument in the unfolding effects of your own past karma. You do not get angry when you are accidentally hurt by the falling stone, in the same manner, you should exercise the same control in other situations, because everything is just like the falling stone.
If a car is coming head on to you from the opposite side, do you get angry or do you move out of the way? Do you crash with the car? No. That’s because you know what the consequences would be if you did not move out of the way. What you do not realize is that the consequences of your anger are much more destructive (internal destruction) than even meeting the vehicle head on! But alas you cannot see this destruction whereas you can see the other. That is the only difference.
RESULTS CHANGE WHEN CAUSES CHANGE
Someone asked me why man has not succeeded in his endeavors over countless life times to be rid of his anger. I told him that perhaps he did not have the right solution. He told me that the solutions were given in the scriptures and that he too was employing the same method but to no avail. I told him that the solution has to be correct and exact. He proceeded to tell me that he has tried many such correct solutions. I told him that it is foolish to look for a solution to stop anger, because anger is an effect. It is a result. It would like trying to prevent the result from taking place once you have already given an exam. The result cannot be changed. It is the cause which one needs to change.
People try to control anger, but it is futile. On the contrary they ruin their mind in trying to do so. Besides, anger is not something that one can get rid of. A person said to me that he had been successful in controlling his anger to some degree. I asked him how he could claim to be successful when anger was still present within him? He asked me if I had any other solutions, and I replied that I did. I told him that he should begin by keeping a note of situations that made him angry and also the situations where he did not react with anger. Just once he needed to make a note of people that did not make him angry. With some people, even if they were to do wrong over and over again, they do not make one angry, and with others, no matter what good they do, one still gets angry with them. Surely there must be a reason behind this?
Questioner: Is it because of a biased opinion (granthi- a knot of opinions) towards that person?
Dadashri: Yes, a complex of opinions has been formed. What should you do in order to disentangle yourself from that complex? Remember that the examination has already been given. You will get angry with that person as many times as you were meant to. But what must you do from now on? You should not allow yourself to become prejudiced towards the person with whom you get angry. You should change your opinion of him. It is because of the account of your prarabdh (fate, past karma, destiny) that this person is behaving with you in the manner that he does. Whatever that person does, is because of the result of your own past karma. If you keep this in mind, it will help you change your opinion about him. If you change your opinion about him, you will no longer get angry with him. The effect from the past will remain for some time. That effect will come, give its results and then it will stop altogether.
This is a very subtle point, which people fail to discover. There is a solution for everything. The world can never be without solution. People try to destroy only the results. The solution to destroying anger, pride, attachment and greed is to destroy their causes but leave the results alone. If however, one does not have the awareness of this to begin with, then how will he find the solution?
Questioner: Please explain again how to destroy the causes.
Dadashri: If I keep getting angry with this gentleman, I should realize that it is the result of my having seen faults in him previously. From now on, whatever wrong he does, as long as I do not take it personally, the anger towards him will subside. A little of that anger may still persist because of past causes, but eventually it will come to an end.
Questioner: Does anger come from looking at faults in others?
Dadashri: Yes, because you see their faults. But keep in mind that it too is a negative effect. So once you stop seeing people’s faults, the anger too will stop. Once you stop seeing faults in others, everything will be resolved.
EGO IN THE ROOTS OF ANGER
Some people ask me how they can get rid of their anger. They tell me that they keep trying to suppress it. I ask them whether or not they have an understanding of anger, before they attempt to do so. Surely one has to first understand what anger is? Anger and peace coexist, side by side. If one does not understand what anger is, one may suppress peace instead, consequently destroying it. Therefore it is not something that one can suppress. One has to understand that anger is ego. Analyze the ego that causes the anger.
If this child breaks something valuable and you get angry, what kind of ego is that? It is the kind of ego that assesses loss and profit. It is the ego of profit and loss. You have to think about how you will destroy this kind of ego. Otherwise by harboring the ego unnecessarily, the anger will continue. It is really the ego that lies at the core of anger and greed.
WITH WHAT UNDERSTANDING IS ONE TO PACIFY ANGER?
Anger itself is the ego. One should investigate in what ways this is so. Investigate why you get angry. You would get angry if this lady were to break your tea set. What does a broken tea set have to do with you? The answer to that is that you incur a loss in your household. You get angry because of the loss, but does that mean that you have to get angry with her? If you were to think deeply about the ego and the anger, the very process of thinking will melt away your ego. Could one have prevented the cups from breaking? Was it avoidable or unavoidable? Are not certain circumstances unavoidable? Ordinarily the head of the household will scold his servant for breaking things, but would he be able to do so if it were unavoidable? They don’t say anything when their son-in-law breaks something; they remain silent because they consider him to be someone superior. And yet they yell at the servants whom they consider inferior. This is egoism. Do people not become silent in the presence of their superiors? If Dada were to break something, not even a single thought would cross anyone’s mind, but what if the servant were to break something?
This world has not seen true justice. People react this way because they do not understand, and even if they were to understand through their intellect (buddhi), it would be adequate! If one’s intellect is developed and given to understanding, then there would be no arguments. Would the scolding help restore the damage? It merely gives one a little satisfaction that is all! Moreover there will be a lot of bickering and mental unrest.
In such situation the damage is triple fold: he incurs a loss from the broken cups; there is discord and finally he creates vengeance with the servant. The servant will become bitter and think that he is being badly treated because he is poor. He will harbor hostility and will bind revenge karma with him for the next life. God has said that one should not bind vengeance with anyone. Where possible, bind love but not hostility. If you bind love, then that love itself will destroy the hostility. Love overcomes hatred. Vengeance will breed vengeance and will keep on increasing forever. Vengeance is the reason for one’s endless wanderings life after life. Why do human beings wander endlessly life after life? Have they not met Tirthankars in their past lives? They have but the Lord’s words fell on deaf ears!
What obstacles hinder them? These obstacles must be destroyed. People encounter obstacles because of their limited vision. The Gnani Purush gives you the infinite vision, which will enable you to see things exactly the way they are.
WHEN ONE GETS ANGRY WITH CHILDREN…
Questioner: What should I do when I become angry with my child?
Dadashri: Anger occurs because of lack of understanding. If you ask your child how he feels when you get angry, he will tell you that it hurts him. He feels hurt and so do you. Then is there a need to get angry with the child? If it were of any benefit to him, then you could continue getting angry, but what is the point when it only does more damage?
Questioner: If we didn't get angry then they wouldn't listen to us, and they wouldn't eat.
Dadashri: So you would intimidate them just so that they would listen to you?
JUST LOOK AT THE SUBTLETY OF THE ENLIGHTENED ONES
People will think a father worthless because he gets very angry with his son. But what justice prevails over this situation according to nature’s laws? According to nature's law, the father is binding punya despite his anger. This is because he is subjecting himself to turmoil for the good of his child. He binds punya because he takes on the strife for the happiness of his child. Generally all forms of anger will bind paap, except in cases where one becomes angry and sacrifices one's own happiness for the happiness of one's child or one's disciple. Here one will bind punya. People will look upon the parent or the guru with disgust and disapproval but nature’s justice is different; because there is no intention to hurt (hinsak bhaav) in anger towards children, even when that anger lingers and causes inner conflict in the parent every time the parent sets eyes on the child. This is not the case elsewhere when one becomes angry.
One can attain liberation even though one gets angry as long as one’s anger is not associated with the intention to hurt or when one does not continue to remain angry. However, one will bind punya even though one continues to remain angry as long as there is no inner intention to hurt the other person. Just look at the subtle details of the Lords’ discovery!
DESPITE ANGER ONE BINDS PUNYA
God tells us that any anger done for the sake of others and for the benefit of a greater good, will bind punya.
Now in the Kramic path (the traditional step by step path to Self-Realization), disciples constantly live in fear of being reprimanded by their guru. The guru is agitated from the moment he wakes up. Such is the plight of the disciple until he reaches the tenth goonthana. As the guru’s eyes become red with rage, the poor disciples starts to panic, ‘any moment now he is going to say something, any moment now…’. Just imagine how much they have to endure. When will they achieve liberation this way? It is not easy to attain liberation. Only on rare occasion does one attain Akram Vignan, which makes liberation so easy. Nevertheless, despite his anger, the guru binds punya because he is doing so for the welfare of his disciples.
ANGER IS A SIGNAL OF A KIND
People would say that the father who gets angry with his children is the offender and therefore will bind paap, but God does not say this. God says that he becomes the offender if as a father; he fails to get angry with his child. One may ask then whether it is good to get angry. No, but it was necessary at the time because if the father did not do so, his son would have strayed in the wrong direction.
Anger is nothing but a red signal. If the father had not appeared angry and intimidating, he would have lost his son to a path of vice. That is why God has pardoned anger towards children.
People have no idea that anger is a red flag. People need to understand this and they also need to understand when and for how long they should use this flag.
FROM NEGATIVE TO POSITIVE MEDITATION
If you become angry with your son, your inner intention (bhaav) should be, ‘this should not happen’. This means that you have changed your negative meditation into positive meditation. Although you were angry, the end result becomes positive from within because you changed your inner intent.
Questioner: Does that happen because of one changes one’s intent to: ‘it should not be this way’?
Dadashri: Because there is no intent to hurt behind that anger. It is impossible to have anger without the intent to hurt. Amongst all different situations where anger occurs, one binds punya when it is directed towards one's children, wife and friends, when the intent to hurt is absent. The reason is clearly visible when one looks at his aim behind his anger.
Anger too has been defined clearly. If you get angry with your son over money because he was not paying attention to your business, that anger is different from the anger, which is aimed towards instilling moral values in him if he steals or for other misdeeds. For the latter, God has said that the father will bind punya.
THE WAY MUSLIMS DEAL WITH ANGER
Questioner: We take out our anger on the wife when we cannot get angry with the secretary or the nurses at the hospital. She gets the worst part of it.
Dadashri: I tell people in satsang that when their superiors reprimand them, some men go home and vent their anger on their wives instead. I ask them why they do this to their poor wives. Why they do not fight with the person that scolds them instead of fighting with their wives?
A Muslim friend of mine invited me to his home one day. He only had two rooms in his house. I asked him how he managed to live in such a confined space. I asked him if his wife ever bothered him. He said that sometimes his wife would get angry but he would not. He said if they both were to get angry at each other, how would they be able to sleep in the same room. And what is more, he would not get even a nice cup of tea in the morning! He told me that he was happy to be with his wife, so how could he get angry with her. And when she got angry with him, he would pacify her by sweet-talking to her. He would get into a fight outside the home, but never in the home.
The Hindu men, on the other hand, would come home after a beating outside and then take it out on their wives! They get angry all day long. Even the cows and the buffaloes are better; at least they do not get angry. Life should be peaceful! It should not be weak. Anger takes place all too often.
Did you come here by car? What would happen if the car got angry on the way here?
Questioner: Then it would be impossible to come here.
Dadashri: When you get angry with your wife, how do you think she copes?
Dadashri: (To the wife) You don’t get angry do you?
Dadashri: What’s the use of you both getting angry?
Questioner: Should there not be some anger between a man and wife?
Dadashri: No. There is no such rule. There should be harmony between husband and wife. They are not husband and wife if they hurt each other. There is never any heartache where there is true friendship. And this is considered the greatest friendship of all. Others have brainwashed you into thinking that anger is a rule between husband and wife because it happens to them. There should not be any hurt between a husband and wife. It may happen in other relationships.
PUNISHMENT FOR OBSTINACY
Questioner: We get angry when we have conflicting opinions with our friends or family and when things do not go our way. Why do we become angry? And what should we do about it?
Dadashri: Why do you even think about having your own way? What would happen if everyone did as they pleased? Instead you should think about what would happen if everyone around you were stubborn and unyielding. You should never try to make things go your way. If you do not have any expectations to begin with, you will not go wrong. Anyone with expectations can be stubborn if he wants to; this is how you should look at it.
Questioner: No matter how hard we try to remain silent, the men still get angry, what should we do?
Dadashri: If you want to start a quarrel, then you should get angry also. And if you don’t, then just remain silent.
What use is anger to you? The person himself does not get angry. Anger is the effect of a "mechanical adjustment", which is why he later regrets it and wishes it never happened.
Questioner: What should I do to calm him?
Dadashri: When a machine gets overheated, you must leave it alone for a while and in a short time it will cool down on it’s own. But if you keep meddling with it, you will get burnt.
Questioner: My husband and I get into terrible arguments and we also say hurtful things to each other. What should I do?
Dadashri: Is he the one who gets angry or is it you?
Questioner: Sometimes I do.
Dadashri: Then you should scold yourself from within. Ask yourself why you are getting angry when you know that you will have to suffer the consequences. Do pratikraman (asking for forgiveness), and all your faults will come to an end. Otherwise you will have to endure the same pain that you are inflicting. Pratikraman calms things down.
THIS IS CRUDE BEHAVIOR
Questioner: When we get angry we start using abusive language. How can we improve ourselves?
Dadashri: It happens because one does not have any control. In order to gain some control one should first understand how one feels when someone gets angry with him or her. How does one tolerate such behavior when it is directed towards him or her? Treat others the way you would like to be treated.
If someone hurls abusive language towards you and it does not bother or depress you, it is a different matter. If however, it bothers you, then you should stop your interaction altogether. One must never use abusive language. Swearing is an offensive and crude behavior, unbecoming of any human being.
PRATIKRAMAN: THE REAL PATH TO LIBERATION
Before people were taught to have compassion, practice fairness and forgiveness, but nowadays how can they have these qualities when they keep getting angry?
I would tell people that whenever they get angry, they should repent from within. They should know the weakness within them which prompts their anger. They should accept their mistakes and feel remorse. If they have a guru, they should seek help from him. They should make a firm resolve to never let their weakness overcome them again. They should not defend their anger and they should do pratikraman for it. They should make a note of when, where and with whom they became angry during the day and they should do pratikraman for it.
What should one do in pratikraman? If one’s anger hurts another person, he must recall the Soul within that person and ask to be forgiven. He should ask forgiveness for his actions and vow never to do it again. Aalochana is confession of your mistakes. When you confess your mistakes to me, you are doing aalochana.
ASK FOR FORGIVENESS INTERNALLY
Questioner: Dada, sometimes when we do pratikraman and repent for our mistakes for getting angry with someone, we feel anguish within. Yet, we do not have the courage to ask for forgiveness face to face, from that person.
Dadashri: You need not ask for forgiveness in that way, otherwise the other person might misuse it. He may think that he has put you in your place. Just ask for forgiveness internally, by recalling the Soul within the person. There are only a handful of people who would forgive you before you even ask for their forgiveness. Such nobility is rare these days.
SINCERE PRATIKRAMAN YIELDS IMMEDIATE RESULTS
Questioner: Sometimes I become so angry that I will say something and then keep quiet, but I am in turmoil from within and it lingers. Does this call for more than one pratikraman?
Dadashri: If you do pratikraman two or three times wholeheartedly and with resolve never to repeat the mistake, then everything is cleared. Pray to the Soul within that person and confess that you became very angry and hurt him and that you are now asking for forgiveness for your actions.
FAULTS ULTIMATELY COME TO AN END
Questioner: The excitement stirred up through atikraman (aggression involving anger, pride, attachment or greed) is calmed with pratikraman.
Dadashri: Yes it does indeed calm down. With ‘sticky files’ (Dadashri’s term for those with whom you have great attachment or abhorrence because of your past life karma), you have to do more than five thousand pratikramans or so, before everything is cleared. Although you may not vent your anger when you become frustrated, if you do not do pratikraman, the ‘stain’ will not be erased. With pratikraman, everything is cleared up. If you do atikraman then you must do pratikraman.
Questioner: What if you get angry with someone and you immediately ask for forgiveness on the spot?
Dadashri: After acquiring Gnan, when you get angry, there is no problem, as long as you ask for forgiveness, because doing pratikraman will set you free. And if you cannot directly ask for forgiveness from that person, you should do it internally and this too will set you free.
Questioner: You mean in front of everyone?
Dadashri: It is fine if you cannot directly ask for forgiveness but do it from within. These faults of yours are lifeless and are a ‘discharge’ (Dadashri’s term for the dissipation of effects of previous causes. The term discharge applies only for those who have been graced with his separation from cause and effects of karma, in the Gnan Vidhi). A ‘discharge’ fault means that it is non-living, which means that the consequences will be minimal.
THE SENSE OF DOERSHIP SUSTAINS ANGER
You are not the one making things happen. It is the kashayas, the weaknesses of anger, pride, attachment and greed within you that rule everything. Only the rule of these kashayas prevails. When you acquire the knowledge of your real Self, these kashayas leave. When one gets angry, one feels remorse but of what use is it if one does not know how to do pratikraman? One is freed when one knows how to do pratikraman.
How long can these kashayas last? The kashayas will remain as long as one believes; ‘I am Chandulal’. This belief gives support to the sense that the kashayas are his; ‘I am angry, I am unhappy etc.’
It is when one attains the awareness of, ‘I am pure Self’ that the sense of ‘I am Chandulal’ is broken and the kashayas are destroyed. Without this awareness, all efforts to remove kashayas, in fact perpetuate them. When anger is controlled through ego, the ego increases. When greed is overcome with the ego, the ego increases.
WHERE THE ANGER IS CONTROLLED, PRIDE INCREASES.
An acetic once told me that he had completely eliminated his anger through his spiritual efforts. In fact the anger was not destroyed but suppressed. I told him that instead, he had created a monster by the name of pride (maan). This monster thrives because he is the offspring of ignorance of the Self (maaya). The sons of ignorance cannot be killed. One can get rid of them if one has a solution. This solution is Self-realization.
ANGER AND DECEIT ARE FALSE PROTECTORS
Anger and deceit (maya) give protection to pride and greed. The protector of greed is deceit and the protector of pride is anger. Sometimes deceit also plays a role in protecting pride. Sometimes anger also plays a role in protecting greed.
And through anger they perpetuate greed. A greedy person rarely gets angry, and when he does, we should understand that he is probably experiencing some difficulty related to his greed. Moreover, greedy people do not care what others say or think about them as long as they make money. They do not even care if they are insulted. They are like this because deceit protects them. Deceit is their ignorance and is a part of their nature. Thus deceit and anger are protectors of internal weaknesses.
One gets angry when one’s pride is wounded. Anger is easily detected and therefore easy to remove as compared to deceit, which deceives even the owner. Anger is the first of the kashayas to go. Anger is like ammunition. And wherever there is ammunition, there is an army ready to fight. Once the ammunition is depleted, why would the army still fight? Everyone would simply run away. No one would stick around.
THE NATURE OF ANGER
Anger is volatile atoms. If a barrel containing gunpowder ignites, it would start an explosion. When all the gunpowder is finished, the barrel would become inactive again. That is how it is with anger. The volatile atoms of anger will ignite according to the law of vyavasthit (Scientific circumstantial evidence), and will explode in every direction. It is not considered anger (krodh) if the link of anger (taanto) does not remain. It is called anger only when there is a link associated with it. It is called anger when there is a feeling of burning from within. When this happens, the burning continues and affects others too. This burning if manifested outwardly is called kadhapo, and if one experiences internal burning and restlessness, it is called ajampo. There is sulking in both.
TO ENDURE OR RETAIN A GRUDGE IS ANGER
If people do not use angry words, then it does not hurt anyone. It is not just the anger that is expressed outwardly that constitutes anger, but even the smoldering one feels within, is also considered anger. Tolerance is really twice the anger. Tolerance means to suppress continually. One will realize this when the spring of coiled suppressed anger rebounds one day. Why should one have to endure? One merely has to bring about a solution through Gnan (the Absolute Knowledge).
ANGER IS VIOLENCE
The intellect makes one emotional and Gnan keeps one calm. What would happen if a train that is running smoothly becomes emotional?
Questioner: There would be an accident.
Dadashri: If the train does not stay on the tracks, there will be an accident. Similarly, when a man becomes emotional, so many living organisms within him are killed. The moment anger arises, millions of lives are destroyed within him, but even then people claim that they practice non-violence (ahinsa or ahimsa). People need to be aware that they are committing great violence when they become emotional and get angry.
THE WAY TO CONQUER ANGER
The external activities of the world: the thoughts, speech and acts of human beings do not change. However if one changes one’s inner intention (bhaav), then it is enough.
People say they want to stop their anger. It cannot be stopped right away. First one must understand anger and the causes behind it. How is anger born and who are its parents? One has to investigate all this before one is able to understand anger.
LIBERATION AT THE HANDS OF THE LIBERATED
Do you want to be rid of your weaknesses? Tell me what you want to get rid of. Make a list. Are you bound by anger, pride, attachment and greed?
Dadashri: How can a person who is bound, free himself? How can someone whose arms and legs are tied up tightly, become free?
Questioner: He has to get help from someone.
Dadashri: Should he seek the help of someone who is bound himself?
Questioner: He should get help from someone who is free to help.
Dadashri: Yes, you have to ask help from a person who is free.
THE FOOD OF ANGER, PRIDE, ATTACHMENT AND GREED
There are many people who have some awareness and insight into their anger. They say that they do not like the anger that develops within them. Many on the other hand, believe that unless they get angry, they will not accomplish anything.
Anger, attachment, pride and greed always harm the owner. People do not understand this. If you were to starve these weaknesses within you, for three years, they would run away. What is the nourishment for these weaknesses? How can you starve them if you do not know what they thrive on? It is your lack of understanding that provides sustenance for them. How do they survive and carry on life after life? Stop feeding them. People do not think along these lines and instead forcefully try to subdue them. These four weaknesses will not go away easily.
An acharya (spiritual head) scolds his disciple with anger. If a person asks the acharya why he is scolding his disciple, and he replies that the disciple needed to be told off. By making such a statement, he has fed his anger. His support for his anger is the food on which his anger thrives.
If anger, pride, attachment and greed are not fed for three years, they will leave. This is because each has its specific diet, which people provide everyday and so they grow healthy and strong.
When a man smacks his child in anger, his wife will rebuke him for doing so. If he tells her that the child deserved it, then he would be feeding his anger. In making such statements, people support their weaknesses.
I have never given protection to anger, pride, attachment and greed. If I happen to get angry and someone asks me why, I would tell them that it is wrong to get angry and that it occurred because of my weakness. In this way, I do not protect it. But other people do.
If a sadhu (an ascetic) happens to be using snuff and we ask him why a man of his status should have such an addiction, he will strengthen his addiction when he says that there is no harm in using snuff.
Of the four weaknesses: anger, pride, attachment and greed, a person may favor one over the other and will therefore strengthen it by siding with it.
OVERT KARMA: SUBTLE KARMA
I will explain to you what overt (sthool) karma is. Do you ever become angry even though you do not want to?
Dadashri: You will experience the consequences of your anger right away. People will say that you are ill tempered. Someone may even slap you. Which means that you will suffer the consequences through being disgraced in some way or another. So anger is a sthool karma. When you get angry and if you have the internal bhaav that anger is necessary, then this bhaav will be your account of anger for your next life. If however, your bhaav today is that you should not get angry and you make a decision that you do not want any part of anger, then you will not bind anger for your next life, even though it occurs. You will be punished for your anger, which occurs as sthool karma in this life, but even then it will not bind you in the next life. This is because in the subtle (sookshma) karma your resolve (nischaya) is not to get angry.
On the other hand, if a person does not get angry with anyone, but has the belief that one should use anger to sort people out, then in his next life he will be a very angry man. Therefore, the external anger represents tangible (sthool) karma and the internal bhaav is the subtle (sookshma) karma. Sthool karma do not bind new karma. They are merely an effect. That is why I have presented this science to you in a different light. Until now, people have been led to believe that karma are bound through sthool karma, and that is why they live in fear.
KASHAYAS FLEE WITH THE SCIENCE OF SEPARATION
Questioner: Does one need to have any qualifying prerequisites to conquer these four kashayas?
Dadashri: When these four kashays of anger, pride, attachment and greed leave, one becomes a God.
God said that when one gets angry with one’s blood relatives, their minds become estranged. This estranged state will prevail for years or throughout their lives. Such anger is wrong. Ultimately it is a useless anger. This type of anger binds one for infinite lives. Greed, pride and attachment will do the same also. They are very difficult. It is only after they leave that one attains bliss.
One will be rid of these kashayas, if one listens to the Enlightened One. The Enlightened One is the Gnani Purush, who has the knowledge of the Soul and can give you this knowledge.
The only other way out from these kashayas is to acquire the Science of Separation. Then all these kashayas will leave. This is the wonder of this time cycle. This is called Akram Vignan.
JAI SAT CHIT ANAND
The Awareness Of The Eternal Is Bliss
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