Spirituality in Speech
Each and every human being is involved in an incessant interaction of speech from the moment he wakes up. Some even talk in their sleep. There are two outcomes of speech interactions: sweet and bitter. Sweet interactions are easily swallowed but the bitter ones are not. The Gnanis are able to show us ways to accept both the bitter and sweet with equanimity. Gnani Purush Dadashri has given us countless solutions addressing situations that arise from speech interactions in this day and age.
Dadashri has been asked hundreds of thousands of questions, on all kinds of topics; from the subtle to the profound, from the straight to the ridiculous. He has answered them on the spur of the moment with complete satisfaction for the questioner. One can see and experience in his speech the unison of love, compassion and the ultimate truth.
Dadashri used to say to all who came to him, with love that, ‘Ask, ask and get all your puzzles solved. Ask anything and get your work done. If you do not understand, ask again and again without hesitation. If you do not understand it is not your mistake. It is the inadequacy of the person giving the answers.’
It would constitute deceit if, someone were to dismiss any question, claiming that the answer was too subtle for anyone to understand. People all too often dismiss questions to which they have no answers, by placing the blame on the seeker’s inability to understand.
If a person has heard or read any of Dadashri’s speech in detail, then he or she would, without fail, have a true representation of the Gnani who has absolute unity of the mind, speech and conduct; indeed the presence of an enlightened One. These people will also, without fail, learn to recognize that, which is not authentic.
In this publication, the reader will find solutions to problems that are created through the interaction of speech and will find ways to improve their speech if it is offensive and hurtful. The reader will also be enlightened about the ensuing consequences of merely having a single negative thought about someone. It will give deep insights into the many ways in which one can be free from conflicts that arise in and the outside the home, in all worldly relationships.
Dadashri gives us great insight into the fundamental and subtle principles that govern speech. He gives us great examples and practical solutions of how our interaction with our family and our peers through our speech can be made pure so that it hurts no one. The reader will feel Dadashri is talking about his own life with some of the illustrations Dadashri gives. His solutions reach the heart directly and lead to liberation.
It is extremely difficult to recognize a Gnani Purush. Expertise and skills are required in order to recognize a real diamond; in the same vein, a spiritual eye is necessary to recognize an enlightened One, Gnani Purush Dadashri. Dadashri’s speech which was uttered for only the salvation of the other person and nothing else will continue to give light on the path of liberation for generations to come. Such is the power behind the speech of a Gnani, that in a matter of just one hour, he bestows the experience of the Self upon the seeker.
Jai Sat Chit Anand
Dr. Niruben Amin
NOTE ABOUT THIS TRANSLATION
Gnani Purush, Ambalal M. Patel, also commonly known as Dadashri or Dada, said it would not be possible to translate his satsang about the Science of Self-Realization and the art of worldly interaction, word for word into English. Some of the depth of meaning would be lost, and therefore, stressed the importance of learning Gujarati to precisely understand all his teachings.
Dadashri did however grant his blessings to convey his teachings to the world, through translations in English and other languages.
This is a humble attempt to present to the world the essence of the teachings of Dadashri, the Gnani Purush. A lot of care has been taken to preserve the tone and message of the satsang. This is not a literal translation of his words. Many people have worked diligently for this work and we thank them all.
This is an elementary introduction to the vast treasure of his knowledge and teachings. Please note that any errors encountered in the translation are entirely those of the translators.
On a June evening in 1958 at around six o'clock, Ambalal Muljibhai Patel, a family man and a professional contractor, was sitting on a bench of the busy platform number three of Surat’s train station. Surat is a city in south Gujarat, a western state in India. What happened within the next forty-eight minutes was phenomenal. Spontaneous Self-Realization occurred within Ambalal M. Patel. During this event his ego completely vanished. From that moment onwards he became completely detached from all Ambalal’s thoughts, speech and actions; he became the Lord’s living instrument for the salvation of mankind, through the path of knowledge. He called this Lord, ‘Dada Bhagwan’. To everyone he met, he would say, “This Lord, Dada Bhagwan is fully manifested within me. He also resides within you and all living beings. The difference is that within me, He is completely expressed and in you, he has yet to manifest.”
Who are we? What is God? Who runs this world? What is karma? What is liberation? Etc. All of the world's spiritual questions were answered during this event. Thus nature offered absolute vision to the world through the medium of Shree Ambalal Muljibhai Patel.
Ambalal was born in Tarasali, a suburb of the city of Baroda and was raised in Bhadran, Gujarat. His wife’s name was Hiraba. Although he was a contractor by profession, his life at home and his interactions with everyone around him was exemplary, even prior to his Self-Realization. After becoming Self-Realized and attaining the state of a Gnani, (The Awakened One, ‘Jnani’ in Hindi), his body became a ‘public charitable trust.’
Throughout his entire life he lived by the principle that there should not be any commerce in religion, and in all commerce there must be religion. He also never took money from anyone for his own use. He used the profits from his business to take his devotees on pilgrimages to various parts of India.
His words became the foundation for the new, direct and step-less path to Self-Realization, called Akram Vignan. Through his divine, original, scientific experiment (The Gnan Vidhi), he imparted this knowledge to others within two hours. Thousands have received his grace through this process and thousands continue to do so even now. ‘Akram’ means without steps; an elevator path or a short-cut path to Self-Realization, whereas ‘Kram’ means an orderly, step-by-step, spiritual path. Akram is now recognized as a direct shortcut to the bliss of the Self
When he explained to others who ‘Dada Bhagwan’ was, he would say:
“What you see here is not ‘Dada Bhagwan.’ What you see is ‘A. M. Patel.’ I am a Gnani Purush, and He that is manifested within me, is ‘Dada Bhagwan’. He is the Lord within. He is within you and everyone else. He is not yet manifested within you, whereas within me he is fully manifested. I myself am not a Bhagwan. I too, bow down to Dada Bhagwan within me.”
Current link for attaining the knowledge of
Self-Realization (Atma Gnan)
“I am personally going to impart siddhis (special spiritual powers) to a few people. After I leave, will there not be a need for them? People of future generations will need this path, will they not?” ~ Dadashri
Dadashri used to travel from town to town and country to country, to give satsang and impart not only the knowledge of the Self, but also knowledge of harmonious worldly interaction, to all who came to see him. In his final days, during the fall of 1987, he gave his blessing to Dr. Niruben Amin and bestowed his special siddhis upon her, to continue his work.
Since Dadashri left his mortal body on January 2, 1988, Dr. Niruben has continued to carry out his work, traveling to cities and villages within India as well abroad, to the USA, Canada, UK and Africa. She is Dadashri’s representative of Akram Vignan. She has been instrumental in expanding the key role of Akram Vignan as the simple and direct path to Self-Realization for modern times. Thousands of spiritual seekers have taken advantage of this opportunity and are established in the experience of the pure Soul, while carrying out their worldly duties and obligations. They experience liberation, here and now, while living their daily life.
Powerful words in scriptures help the seeker in increasing the desire for liberation. The knowledge of the Self is the final goal of all one’s seeking. Without the knowledge of the Self there is no liberation. This knowledge of the Self (Atma Gnan) does not exist in books. It exists in the heart of a Gnani. Hence the knowledge of the Self can only be acquired by meeting a Gnani. Through the scientific approach of Akram Vignan, even today, one can attain Atma Gnan, but it can only occur by meeting a living Atma Gnani and receiving the Atma Gnan. Only a lit candle can light another candle.
Spirituality In Speech
1. Forms Of Hurtful Speech
Questioner: This tongue says one thing one time and something else another time.
Dadashri: The tongue is not at fault. The tongue constantly lives within and works with the thirty-two teeth. It does not rebel or fight back. The tongue is fine, but it is we, the organizers, who are awkward and at fault. The fault lies with us.
The tongue is very good. Although it lives between these thirty-two teeth, does it ever get crushed or bitten? It gets bitten when we are eating and our chit (the component of the mind composed of knowledge and vision that wanders outside) has gone somewhere else. The chit will only wander when we are inattentive. If the chit stays in the task at hand, the tongue will function well, but it gets bitten when the organizer is inattentive.
Questioner: Please help me control my tongue because I talk too much.
Dadashri: I too, talk all day long. As long as your speech does not hurt anyone, there is nothing wrong in talking.
(Main book P.383)
Questioner: But many conflicts arise because of the words I use.
Dadashri: It is because of words that this world has come into existence. When words come to an end, so will the world.
Words have been the cause of all the wars in the world. Words must be sweet or else they should not be spoken. You can become one with someone again even after you have fought with that person, if you use sweet words to assuage him. (P.384)
Some people tell their elders that they have no sense. How can one say such a thing? Who are they to assess commonsense in others? Such words will inevitably create conflicts. You should not say anything that would hurt others because you will be held liable for it. People who understand this will not take on such a liability, instead they will always say the right thing, whereas those who lack this understanding speak recklessly, taking on the liability. The responsibility is yours.
To tell a person, “You do not understand,” is the worst of the knowledge-deluding karmas (gnanavaran). You cannot make such a statement because it hurts the other person. Instead you can say, “I will help you understand.”
If you are sitting peacefully and someone comes and says to you, “You have no sense,” these words will shatter your peace of mind and you feel will hurt but it is not as if he has thrown a rock at you! (P.385)
In this world, words have a tremendous impact. The scars they leave behind cannot be erased for hundreds of lifetimes. People say their hearts have been wounded by words. This is nothing but the effect of words and this world perpetuates because of these effects.
Some women tell me they still bear scars in their chest from what their husbands said to them twenty or thirty years ago. What kind of a rock of speech was hurled that the wound still has not healed? Such wounds should not be inflicted.
In our culture, people of the lower caste use physical violence to hurt each other, while those of the higher castes use words to hurt one another. (P.386)
Words, which hurt others, are called inappropriate words. People take on a grave liability when they use inappropriate words even casually. Pleasant words used casually, on the other hand, are beneficial. People are not brave enough to use inappropriate words to a policeman or someone with authority for fear of being reprimanded, but they use such words freely with those at home because they are not afraid of the consequences. The policeman would indeed teach you a lesson, but who would teach you a lesson at home? Should we not learn a new lesson? (P.387)
Questioner: What should I do in my business when I get angry with the person I am dealing with because he does not understand?
Dadashri: In business it is important to speak up or say something for the sake of business. But there too, to not say anything is also an art; a lot can be accomplished in this way in your business also. But that art is not easily learnt, it is very refined. In business you have to fight and whatever you gain, you have evaluate it, and deposit in your account. But you should never fight at home because they are your own people.
The art of silence is a very difficult art to master. It is difficult for others to learn.
This is how such an art is practiced: Before even the person comes in front of you, you have to communicate with the pure Soul (shuddhatma) within that person. Doing so will calm him down and then all you have to do is remain silent. In this way you will accomplish your work. This is a very brief explanation I am giving you on this art; it is very subtle indeed. (P.388)
The vibrations of a single harsh word will linger for a long time. When you use a harsh word, you are committing violence with your intent (bhaav hinsa), which is considered violence against the soul within (atma hinsa). You should never utter harsh words, only pleasant ones. People forget this and they quarrel all day long. (P.387)
There are two types of spoken words in this world, bad words and good words. The bad words cause bad health and good words render good health. When people say, “You unworthy”, the words, ‘You,’ are innocuous but the word ‘unworthy’ is very harmful.
“You have no sense!” When you say this to your wife, these words are very hurtful to her and they are also unhealthy for you. When she responds, “You are useless,” you both will become unhealthy. One is looking for sense and the other is looking for usefulness! This happens everywhere.
Married couples should not fight with each other. They are bound to each other through their karmas, so they should try to work towards freedom from these karmas.
Once I asked a lady if she ever fought with her husband and she said that she never did. I was astonished that such households still existed in India!
“Surely there must be some conflict between you and your husband,” I persisted.
“No, but sometimes he taunts me,” she said.
Taunting one’s wife is equivalent to caning a donkey. Men do not cane their wives but they taunt them instead. I asked the lady what she would do when her husband taunted her.
“I tell him that the effects of our past karmas have brought us together and that is why we married each other, and therefore I have to suffer the consequences of my karmas and you have to suffer the consequences of your karma,” she replied.
“You are truly blessed dear lady.” I said to her. There are still such noble ladies to be found in India. Such a lady is called a sati,(a women with the highest of virtues).
What makes people come together? Why are people forced to live together even when they do not like it? Their karmas make them do it; and even when a man does not like his wife, where is he to go? He should accept the fact that everything is an effect of his own karmas and be at peace with that. He should not criticize her. How will it help him to find faults with her? Has anybody ever found happiness by finding faults in others?
When your mind shouts, ‘She said so much hurtful words, so much hurt has happened,’ then tell the mind, ‘Go to sleep, it will all heal soon.’ It will heal readily. This technique works. (P.389)
Questioner: Explain the difference between wrongful speech and wasteful speech.
Dadashri: There is a great difference between wrongful speech and wasteful speech. Wrong speech means to use the words that are totally wrong. And wasteful speech is talking unnecessarily.
Wrongful speech is use of speech other than the kind that is called for. Saying something other than expressing the knowledge that is required for a particular situation is also wrong speech.
An example of wrongful speech is telling a lie or being deceitful. Such speech is an abuse of speech in every way and is unworthy in every aspect. Lawyers tell lies even for a few rupees. That is called wrong speech. (P. 391)
Nowadays, people will even criticize you; these poor people have no idea of what they are doing and that is why they do what they do. Only the one who is unhappy will criticize and instigate others. The happy person would not criticize anyone.
“People have the right to criticize you. You do not have the right to criticize anyone.” [Aptasutra]
What is the difference between tikka and ninda? Tikka means to expose (criticize) someone’s obvious faults, and ninda is to talk about someone’s overt faults and also to talk about faults that do not exist.
“Even the slightest tikka of others is a hindrance to Absolute enlightenment(Keval Gnan). Not only is it a hindrance to Keval Gnan, but it is also a hindrance to Atma Gnan (Knowledge of the Soul) and Samkit (Self-Realization)” [Aptasutra] It creates obstructions at all levels of Self-realization. To see any fault of the other is an obstruction to Self-realization.
Questioner: What does ninda come under?
Dadashri: Ninda falls under viradhana, but it can be erased with pratikraman (apology coupled with remorse of any wrong-doing). It is like avarnavad; that is why I tell people not to criticize anyone but even then people continue to criticize others behind their backs. (P. 392)
You incur a tremendous loss when you talk negatively about anyone. If you cannot say good things about anyone, it is fine, but you should never talk negatively about anyone. What is the gain in it? There is tremendous loss in it. The greatest loss in the world is incurred in ninda.
In fact you should never do ninda of anyone, nor any type of casual talk about anyone. The consequences of doing this are very grave. Especially in such a spiritual gathering of Self-Realized beings, you can never say anything negative about anyone. Even the slightest negative imagination brings a big veil over your Gnan, the Self. So imagine how dense a covering you would create if you were to criticize any mahatmas, who are Self-realized beings! You should blend into the satsang like sugar in milk. I know everything about everyone here and yet I would not utter even a single word about anyone. To utter even a single negative word creates a dense cover over one’s Gnan. (P.393)
Questioner: What is the exact meaning of the word avarnavad?
Dadashri: Avarnavad means to distort and portray just the opposite picture in the negative direction. It is to portray just the wrong and negative impression about a person. It is not avarnavad when you say that which is wrong, wrong and that which right, right. To say utter lies about someone is avarnavad.
Avaranad means to totally destroy with words the good reputation, name and fame of an honest man. This avaranvad is worse than ninda. This is the equivalent of ninda multiplied amny times over. The general people do mind ninda. Heavy ninda is avarnavad.
Questioner: Please expalian the meaning of the following sentence in of your nine kalams.
‘Dearest Dada Bhagwan! Give me the infinite inner strength, to not cause, nor to cause anyone to, nor to instigate anyone to criticize, offend or insult any being; present or not present, living or dead.’ (8th of Dada's 9 Kalams)
Dadashri: If someone is speaking negatively about one of your dead relatives, you should not involve yourself in the conversation. The consequences of speaking ill of the dead are grave. If you happen to say something negative, you should repent and tell yourself that it should never happen again. People have a tendency to talk negatively about the dead so I am just cautioning you.
It is wrong to say negative things about Ravan (Lord Ram’s adversary in the epic Ramayana) because he still exists in the universe, and when you speak negatively about him, your criticism definitely reaches him.
Such words may arise out of you because of opinions created in the past. The power of the words of these kalam will wipe off your faults. (P.395)
You should never utter even a single unpleasant word. All conflicts arise because of unpleasant words. The entire great war of Mahabharat took place because of Draupadi’s single sarcastic remark, “The blind one of the blind.” (Referring to Duryodhana the son of the blind King Drutrashtra, who fell accidentally in the reflecting pool) There was no other significant reason for the war, this was the main reason. Draupadi made a sarcastic remark and she had to endure its consequences. Will uttering even a single untoward word not carry consequences?
Questioner: How can we get rid of the harshness in our speech?
Dadashri: You can turn your speech whichever way you want. Until now, you have used harsh speech to scare and intimidate people. (P. 396)
Even when the other person speaks harshly towards you, you should speak pleasantly to him. After all, you are the one who wants liberation.
“Dada, please take seat gloriously in my vocal cords!” Say this and your speech will improve. Even doing Dada’s niddidhyasan (visual contemplation) on your vocal cords, will also improve your speech. (P. 397)
Questioner: What is tunteeli speech?
Dadashri: If you get into an argument with your wife during the night and the next morning when she serves you tea, she bangs the cup of tea on the table, realize that she is still sulking and that she has not forgotten about the incident from the previous night. That is called taanto; taanto is the link that causes one to behave or speak harshly because of certain incidents. (P.398)
If someone says: “Why are you senseless people still sitting around? Get up and eat!” such a harsh tone is called doosvara (bitter tone in words). What kinds of a response will that person get from the people he is addressing? They will probably tell him they have no appetite left and that they have just been fed.
Many people will serve only kichhadee, simple rice and lentils combination for a meal, but very pleasantly they say, “Please come and dine.” When spoken this way, even kichhadee served on its own will taste delicious. That is called soosvara (pleasant tone in words).
A man once asked me, “When will my speech become pleasant like yours?” I told him, “When the all the negative words that you use, stop forthcoming, then your speech will become pleasant.” This is because each spoken word has its own inherent quality and phases.
Always speak in a positive manner because there is Soul within the person you are talking to. When something positive has happened, it is wrong to say anything negative in it. All these problems arise because one states the negative in that which is positive. And whenever you say, “No harm done,” the instant you say this, tremendous changes take place from within. So always speak positively.
Nothing negative has happened to me for so many years. I have never experienced even the slightest negativity in any circumstance. If your mind becomes positive, you become divine, which is why I tell people to get rid of their negativity through maintaining equanimity. Then only the positive will remain. In your worldly affairs, stay positive. In nischaya, the real there is neither the positive nor the negative. (P.399)
2. Insults and obstruction through speech
Questioner: In many homes, the family members arguments but their hearts and minds are clean.
Dadashri: Speech that creates conflict will have an impact on the person’s heart. If one can remain superficial about it, then no harm is done. It’s like this, the mind and the heart of the one who speaks may be clean but the listener may feel as though a stone has been thrown at him, and so a conflict will arise. Conflict will arise wherever bad words are used. (P.401)
These words are like money. Give them as you give money, by counting each one. Do people give money without counting it first? Speech is such that when a person uses it wisely and appropriately, it encompasses the highest forms of penance (mahavrat).
We should live our life in such a way as not to scorn (tarchhod) anyone. Do you recognize what tarchhod is and how it hurts people?
Questioner: It hurts internally in a subtle way.
Dadashri: The problem is not the subtle hurt that you sustained; the problem is the harm that is done to the one scorning. This is because the one who scorns will not experienced one-ness with you, due to the rift that arises.
Questioner: I find myself instantly doing pratikraman when I feel the effect of the scorn.
Dadashri: Yes, you must do pratikraman if you experience the spurn. You should speak with that person in a pleasant manner in order to turn things around.
When I see within, that which is of the previous lives, then I am amazed at the tremendous damaging effect of scorn. That is why I go about so carefully that not even a common laborer feels scorned. People who are scorned will avenge themselves; even if it means they return as a snake in their next life to bite you. Any form of scorn will always avenge itself.
Questioner: How can we escape the consequences of the effects of scorn committed?
Dadashri: There is no solution other than to keep doing pratikraman. Continue to do the pratikraman until the mind of the person you have scorned changes about you. When you meet that person again, you can speak politely to him and apologize by saying, “I was very wrong and it was very careless and stupid of me, I have no sense.” When you reprimand yourself in this way, he will feel good and then his scars will heal.
Questioner: Should I bow down, touch his feet and ask for forgiveness?
Dadashri: No. If you touch his feet it is a fault. Not that way. Turn him around with your speech. The hurt was through the speech, so heal with the speech. By bowing down and touching the feet, the other person who has turned in the wrong direction in his mind will get the wrong message. (P.402)
I meet so many different kinds of people, but I always maintain oneness with everyone. If the oneness breaks, then his energy will be lost. As long as oneness exists in me, it will energize to him. Therefore I have to be careful. Do I not have to keep a close watch at the experiments going on, in the laboratory in which I am? (P. 404)
Questioner: How are obstructions (antaraya) created?
Dadashri: If this man were to serve me some snacks and you tell him, ‘Leave it alone, it will be wasted unnecessarily,’ then an obstruction has just been created. If your friend is making a charitable donation to someone and you say, ‘Why are you giving the money to him? He is an embezzler.’ This is an obstruction against charity. Whether your friend then makes the donation or not, you created an obstructive karma, which will result in you not being able to find someone to help you in your time of need.
If you tell the person working under you, ‘You have no sense,’ then you have caused an obstruction over your own sense!
Your entire human birth is wasted in the entanglement of such obstructions. You have no right to call anyone senseless. When you tell someone that he has no sense, he is likely to tell you the same thing in return, and he will create an obstruction for himself too. Now tell me, how can people in this world bring an end to such obstructions? When you tell others that they are worthless, you are creating an obstruction to your own worth, but if you do pratikraman right away, the obstruction will be erased before it materializes. (P.404)
Questioner: What if the obstruction is created in the mind and not through speech?
Dadashri: Obstructions created through the mind have greater consequences and their effects will be realized in the life to come. The consequences of obstruction created through speech will be experienced in this lifetime.
Questioner: What causes knowledge-obstructing karma (gnan-antaraya) and perception-obstructing karma (darshan-antaraya)?
Dadashri: If you tell someone that he does not understand anything and that you are the only one who understands, you have created knowledge-obstructing karma and perception-obstructing karma. Or if someone was about to receive Self-realization and you interfere in the process, then you have caused an obstruction for your self for Self-realization. You also create an obstruction when someone invites you to meet a Gnani Purush and you tell that person that you have seen many such Gnanis and use derogatory words. Human beings speak without thinking, but even when they do so in ignorance, they create an obstruction. If on the other hand you have a sincere inner wish to go and meet the Gnani Purush but are not able to do so, then your wish will break that obstruction. The person who creates obstructive karma does so in ignorance; he has no awareness about what he is doing.
Living beings have created so many obstructions. Here is a Gnani Purush who is giving you liberation in your hands. He gives you a state free of worries and yet there are so many obstructions that one is not able to attain.
Some people question the validity of Akram Vignan. They ask, “How can Akram Vignan be possible? How is it possible to attain moksha in just one hour?” The moment they question this, they create an obstacle for themselves. There is no telling what can happen in this world, so do not try to analyze this world with your intellect. Akram Vignan is a fact. It has happened. Especially for the Scientific approach to the Self, there exist many obstructing karmas. This Akram Vignan is the last of the last station for liberation in this era. (P.405)
Questioner: This worldly life itself is such that it is full of obstructions.
Dadashri: You are the Supreme Self but you do not experience the benefits of that state, because of the presence of innumerable obstructions. The moment you say, “I am Chandubhai,” you create an obstruction. You offend the Lord within. Even when you say this unknowingly, you create an obstruction. What happens if you stick your hand in a fire unknowingly?
Questioner: When two people are talking and we interrupt, have we created an interference or is it merely a discharge of our karmas?
Dadashri: Interference created leads to disruption.
Questioner: What do you mean, how?
Dadashri: If one of them asks you why you interrupted them and you tell him that you will not do it again, then it is not interference. If instead you say, ‘If I do not say anything, then everything is going to be wrong, its going to collapse.’ This is called interference. This too is a discharge (dissipation of karma). However, new interference is created even as the old one is discharging.
Interference-disruption complex in itself is an obstruction. You are the supreme Soul. How can there be any obstructions for the supreme Soul? All the same people continue to interfere by asking, “Why did you do that?” or by saying, “He did this,” or “Do it this way.” (P.407)
When you tell someone he is wrong, it is the same as throwing dust over your own soul.
You should say words that you like to hear yourself. Project on to the world as you would prefer. Everything around you is your own projection. God does not interfere in anything. Whatever words you throw at others will eventually come back at you. Use pure speech so that the same pure speech is returned to you.
I never tell anyone that, ‘You are wrong.’ Even if that person is a thief, he is correct according to his viewpoint. I would however, explain to him the consequences of his actions. (P.408)
3. Worldly Vibrations Caused By Words
When you pluck a string on a sitar instrument, how many different sounds does it produce?
Questioner: A lot.
Dadashri: Even when you pluck just one string? In the same way, so many other words arise within out of having spoken just one word. That is what God calls ‘adhyavasan;’ it means that words arise even when you do not want to speak them. As soon as you have the desire to utter just one word, other words will formulate and be spoken automatically. A tremendous energy will arise within for the excessive words, even against your wish. So many such ripples of vibrations arise that they will not allow anyone to achieve liberation, which is why I have put forth this Akram Vignan. How wonderful this science of the step-less path to liberation is. This science is such that any intelligent person can bring an end to this worldly puzzle.
A person who hears you call him ‘worthless’ is bound to be hurt, but the resulting consequences and its different phases will bring you a lot of unhappiness. When you say something positive about another person, you will feel peace within you and your spoken words will give peace to the other person also. Therefore, you must maintain awareness about this. (P.409)
When you say, “He is worthless,” the weight of the word ‘worth’ is one pound and the weight of the word ‘worthless’ is forty pounds. So when you use the word ‘worth,’ the vibrations it creates is considerably less and it will have a lesser impact but when you use the word ‘worthless,’ it will create forty times the destruction. Such are the consequences of spoken words.
Questioner: So the repayment is forty times greater.
Dadashri: There is no escaping!
Questioner: Then how can we stop the vibrations? What is the solution?
Dadashri: “This speech is wrong.” When you begin to feel this way, the changes will take place one day at a time. (P.410)
When you call someone a liar, as soon as you utter the word ‘liar’, a tremendous degree of scientific changes take place within you, producing so many phases, which will cause you to dislike that person for two whole hours! It is best not to say anything, but if you happen to, then you must do pratikraman. (P. 411)
When we talk about the besmearing properties (lepaimaan bhaavo) of the mind, speech and body, what exactly are they? These properties are inanimate (judha bhavo); they are mere inclinations and intentions of the prakruti (characteristic traits of the relative-self). ‘Besmearing’ means that it will smear you even if you do not want to become smeared by them. That is why I say, I am always untouched and untainted by all the besmearing intentions of the mind, speech and body. These besmearing intentions have tainted the entire world, and yet these intentions are nothing but an echo. They are inanimate, so you should not heed them.
Nevertheless they will not disappear easily; they will harass and torment you. How will you deal with them? What will you have to do to stop this force within which arises in a rush, even when you have no desire to? You will have to start saying things like, “He (your opponent) or the event which is difficult, is very beneficial for me.” You will have to say positive things about your opponent. When you start speaking this way, the negative feelings will cease. The negative feelings will loose their impact. (P.412)
The moment you say, ‘Looks like the business is going to run a loss,’ all the besmearing forces within (bhaavs) will immediately start to outpour, ‘This is going to happen’ or ‘That is going to happen.’ ‘Wait a minute guys, all I did was just mention something about the business, why are you all barking unnecessarily?’ Therefore, we should say, ‘No, we are going to have profit.’ And thereupon, these barkers will stop.
There are so many electronic recording devices and transmitters out there today that people and especially people in high-ranking positions fear. They fear they may be secretly recorded. Now this tape recorder merely records the spoken words, but the human mind-body complex can also record, an account of new karma, for effect in next life. Yet people have no fear about that! Even when a person is sleeping and you call him worthless, your remarks will be recorded within that person and you will have to face the consequences. So you cannot say a word about a person even when he is sleeping, because everything will be recorded; such is this machinery. If you want to say something, make sure it is positive. Your good intentions (bhaavs) will result in happiness for you. But never say anything negative about anyone, even when alone, because the consequences will be very bitter. Everything gets recorded, so make sure that good things are recorded.
Only the language of love with others is worthy of recording in this tape recorder, the mind body complex. You will get positive benefits of that later. (P. 413)
The person who looks for justice in this world goes around accusing and condemning lots of people. You should never look for justice. Justice and injustice is merely a thermometer that measures how much fever (ego) has gone up, or gone down. This world is never going to become just, nor will it ever become unjust. The same kind of devious business practices will continue to take place.
This world has been exactly the same ever all along. During the times of Satyug (The Golden Era of Truth, some five thousand years ago) the atmosphere was not as bad as we see it today, but even then they had kidnappers who took Sita, Lord Ram’s consort. So why would the world be any different today? These kinds of things will continue to take place. Such is the nature of the entire machinery from the very beginning. People do not have this awareness; therefore it is best not to utter anything irresponsible. Do not behave irresponsibly. Be positive about everything. If you want to do something good for others, do so but otherwise do not do anything negative and do not think negatively. Do not listen to any negative talks either. This world is vast and your liberation is within you, but despite this you have not been able to find it. And you have been wandering for countless lives. (P.414)
You think that no one can hear you when you scold your wife at home! Husbands and wives quarrel with each other and speak recklessly with each other in the presence of their children. They think that children do not understand anything. But what about the tape recording that is taking place within them? Everything will come out in the open when they grow up. (P.415)
There is no objection in your routine speech for the conduct of your worldly interaction. However in doing this, when you speak recklessly or say anything negative about any living being, it gets recorded. How easy is it to start the inner recording within the people on this earth? It takes no time. The slightest instigation initiated by anyone, commences a continuous hostile force tape recording within the other person. There is so much weakness in you that you will start speaking without even being provoked.
Questioner: We should never speak negatively about anyone, but also we must never have any negative inner intent (bhaav) for anyone. Right?
Dadashri: Yes that is true, negative intentions towards anyone should not arise within you. Whatever is in your deep inner intent (bhaav), cannot be prevented from coming out in your speech, and therefore when speech ceases, so will the creation of these intents. Speech is the echo of inner intent. Hostile intentions (negative bhaav) arise inevitably, despite the lack of the desire of the owner to have them, do they not? You cannot prevent them from taking place. For me, such intentions (bhaav) have ceased to incur, and you too will have to come to this level.
We must rid ourselves of this weakness of hostile reactions (bhaav). And if they do, then we have the weapon of pratikraman. Pratikraman erases all such mistakes. If water has entered the factory, it is possible to clean it up before it becomes ice and destroys your machines. In the same vein, you have the ability to clean up your potentially destructive karmas before they gel and solidify for results in the next life. (P.415)
Questioner: Is this recording that takes place, based on one’s intentions while he speaks, and his awareness at the time?
Dadashri: No. The taping (the recording), is not happening at the time of speech. It has already taken place previously. What happens today is that it plays back, according to the way it was taped, recorded.
Questioner: And now, what happens if we have the awareness as we speak ?
Dadashri: If you scold someone and you feel in your mind, ‘I was right to scold him,’ then a ‘code word’ will be recorded again reflecting these inner intentions. And if you feel, ‘I was wrong to scold him,” then a new ‘code word’ is created. Your intent of, ‘I was right in scolding him’, will create the similar code (as the one giving effect right now), only the newer one created will be much stronger. And the inner bhaav, ‘I did a terrible thing. I should not have spoken in this manner. Why do these things happen?’, then the code becomes smaller. (P.417)
Questioner: What are the codes of speech of a Tirthankara’s like?
Dadashri: His code is based on a determination my speech should not hurt any living being in the slightest degree. Apart from the absolute non-violence in speech, they have made the determination that no living being’s sense of its level of existence (what you believe you are) should be offended at all. A Tirthankara’s speech never hurts any living being. Not even a tree! But only the Tirthankaras have made such codes, in their past life. (P.418)
Questioner: What is the solution for a person who does not want to record anything?
Dadashri: He should not create any vibrations. He should just observe everything. However, that is not possible! The relative self is mechanical and it is under the control of some other entity. That is why I am showing you another way. If the speech does get recorded, then you should immediately erase it, and that would be fine. Pratikraman is the tool to erase. It can bring about a change in just one lifetime and then the speech will cease altogether. (P.418)
The phrase, ‘Jai Sat Chit Anand’ is very powerful and it has a tremendous effect, even when uttered without understanding its meaning. However, if spoken with the understanding, then the benefits are much greater. These words create vibrations and set things in motion. It is all scientific. (P.418)
Questioner: What happens when a person says, ‘I do not want to work?’
Dadashri: He will be overcome with lethargy, but if he says, ‘I want to work,’ then all lethargy will disappear. (P.421)
I was about twenty-five years old. This is my story prior to my Self-Realization. Whenever I felt unwell, and if anyone inquired, ‘How is your health?’, I would reply, ‘It is very good.’ Generally even when people have good health, if someone asks about their health, they will say, ‘It is fair’. What foolishness! When they say it is fair, they will not go far.
That is why I have eliminated the words ‘fair’ and ‘okay’ altogether because such words are damaging. The moment you say, ‘It is great’, the soul within becomes great also. (P.422)
When I retire to my room, people think that Dada must be taking a leisurely nap. There is no truth in that. Instead I sit in the cross-legged position (padmasan) for one hour. Even at the age of seventy-seven, my legs are very flexible and that is also why my eyesight is very strong and powerful. Everything is preserved well!
I have never criticized or insulted this prakruti, the mind body complex. People insult it by criticizing it. The prakruti is a living entity and if you insult it, it will be affected. (P.424)
4. Equanimity In The Face Of Hurtful Speech
Questioner: If someone says something insulting, how should we resolve it? How should we maintain equanimity?
Dadashri: What does our Gnan say? First of all, no one in the world has any power to disrupt you. It is not possible for anyone to interfere in anyone else’s life. So how is it that, you are faced such interferences? The who interferes in your life is a nimit (instrumental in settling your account) for you. The main account is yours. If anyone hurts you or helps you, the account is yours only Whether people help you or harm you, it is because of your own account; they are simply the nimit. Once the account of karma is over, nobody can interfere with you. (P.426)
Therefore it is pointless to quarrel with the nimit. By accusing your nimit, you are creating a new account. So there is nothing that you have to do here. This is a science, and all you have to do is understand it.
Questioner: If someone scolds me and I am not at fault, is he still a nimit?
Dadashri: No one in this world, has a right to tell you anything, unless you are at fault. If he says anything, it is the return of a mistake that you made in your past life. Yes, indeed it is your mistake of your past life. That mistake is being avenged through the medium of this person. He is a nimit, and the mistake is yours. And that is why he is scolding.
In reality, he is liberating you from your mistake and therefore you should maintain a positive bhaav towards him. All you have to do is ask the Lord within him, to give him right intellect. This is because he becomes the nimit to utter the hurtful words.
Whatever comes your way is a result of your own doing. Settle all your past accounts and do not create any new loans.
Questioner: What do you mean by the term new loans?
Dadashri: If someone insults you and you feel within your mind, ‘Why is doing this to me?’ then you have created a new loan, bound a new karma. You are creating a new account as the previous one is being settled. Instead of crediting the insult and settling the past account, you are creating a new one. You had given one insult in your past life but when the nimit comes to return it, you turn around and loan five more. As it is you are not able to endure this one insult but yet you create a new and bigger account with five more and then you become puzzled! This is how all confusions arise. Now how can the human intellect comprehend this?
If you cannot afford to continue such transactions, then do not give back anything new back in return, but if you can afford to do so, then give five more again! (P.428)
Questioner: We credit the insult once, twice, a hundred times; should we continue to credit them every time?
Dadashri: Yes. If you return the insult, you create a debit; you will start a new account. Instead let a hundred thousand insults come your way, just credit them. Someday the end will come. You will see, just do what I tell you!
Questioner: The coming of insults has not stopped even after so many years.
Dadashri: Instead of thinking about anything else, do as I tell you, and it will all come to an end. I too have been doing the same thing, crediting everything. For the past twenty-eight years, I have not created a new account. All the accounts have been cleared.
If you were to ask your neighbor, ‘Early in the morning hurl five verbal abuses to me.’ He would say, ‘ I am not free to do that.’ Insults only come your way if you have a pending account. Nobody will insult you if there is no account, and if there is a pending account, no one will leave you alone. (P.429)
From now on the only effort (purushaarth) you have to make is to ‘drink the poison with a smile’. If some day a difference opinion arises with your son and he gives you a glass of poison (bitter words) , will you not have to drink it? Are you going to throw it back in his face? You will have to accept it, will you not?
Questioner: Yes, I will have to.
Dadashri: People of the world cry as they drink the poison. We on the other hand should smile as we drink it. That is all there is to it. (P.430)
What the other person said, the harsh words, we are their knower-seer (gnata-drashta). What we (worldly self) said, of that too, we(the pure Self) are the knower-seer.
What does it mean when a person insults you? It means that he is completing your worldly interactions (vyavahar) with him. Whatever he is doing, whether he is cursing or doing (non-verbal) is all the unfolding of your karma. In such situations, close the worldly interaction with ideal worldly interaction. Accept this as correct. Here, do not seek any justice. If you seek justice of any kind, you will be puzzled.
Questioner: What if I have never insulted or hurt him at any time?
Dadashri: If you had not given the insult in the past life, it would never come to you. If there is a debit in your account then only someone will send the credit. Any internal effect that arises will not happen if there was not a pending account. These effects are the fruits of the seeds that you planted in your previous life. The account of effects is the worldly interaction (vyavahar).
What is the definition of worldly interaction? It is to divide nine by nine and not divide nine by twelve. Dividing nine by nine means to settle the account and not have any carryover.
What is the role of justice? Divide nine by twelve. Dividing nine by twelve means, to look for justice in the effects, which are the consequences of your past life bhaavs. This is where people complicate things even more. Justice will incite you to retaliate with another insult, if insulted. If you retaliate once, the other person will retaliate twice and if you retaliate twice, he will retaliate ten times more. Not only does the problem perpetuate, it becomes more intense. (P.431)
The wordly interaction that unfolds is according to how it was bound or created. You may ask me why I do not scold you and I would tell you that it is not in your worldly interaction (vyavahar) for me to do so. I have admonished you to the extent your vyavahar calls for, and not anything beyond. The Gnani Purush never uses harsh language and if ever he uses harsh words, he does not like it. Nevertheless, the moment such words are spoken the Gnani immediately understands that such is the interaction the other person has brought forth from his past life. It is the only the unfolding interaction of the person I am addressing, that determines the speech that comes out. The speech of the liberated and enlightened beings is dependent upon the person they are addressing; that person becomes the instrument (nimit) in what they say. (P.432)
Someone may question why Dada is using stern language with a person. What can Dada do when the person himself has brought that type of interaction with him? Many worthless people have come to Dada and yet Dada has not raised his voice with them. From this, you can conclude how wonderful an interaction they have brought with them! Those who have brought with them harsh interactions will hear harsh language from the Gnani.
But when you find that wrong and hurtful speech has been spoken, then it is also dependant upon the vyavahar with the other person. However, because your goal is moksha you should wash all such faults wth pratikraman.
Questioner: What about the ‘arrow’ (the harsh words) that has already been released?
Dadashri: That is dependant upon vyavahar.
Questioner: If that cycle continues, will it not increase internal vengeance?
Dadashri: No. That is why we do pratikraman. Pratikraman is not only for moksha, it is also the direct telephone to the Lord within the other person, to stop vengeance. If you fail to do pratikraman, then you failed to prevent vengeance. Do pratikraman the moment you see your mistake, that way vengeance will not be created. Even if the other person wants to bind vengeance with you, he will not be able to do so because you have already communicated directly to the Soul within him. You have no solutions for the worldly interactions which are an effect. If you want moksha, then do pratikraman. People who have not realized the Self, and want to keep on perpetuating their worldly life after life, may accept that the other person is the one at fault, when insults happen. However if it is liberation that you seek, then you must do pratikraman, otherwise you will end up binding vengeance. (P.432)
If you are walking along the street and someone shouts, ‘You thief, rogue! You scoundrel!’ at you and if at that time you absolutely unaffected, then know that you have attained that much divinity and purity of the Lord. Whatever situation you overcome with such a victory, you become divine to that extent. When you win against the entire world, you become the Lord. After this you will not have any difference in opinion with anyone. You will become one with the world. (P.433)
Whenever a conflict has happened, you should know, “What kind of words did I speak that resulted in this conflict?’ This is the resolution, and the solution of the puzzle. Otherwise, as long as you search, ‘the fault is of the other person’, then the puzzle will never be solved. If on the other hand you blame the other person, the puzzle will never be solved. It is only when you believe and accept that the mistake is yours, that you can put an end to it all. There is no other way. All other solutions will only bring increased confusion. What is more, it is your hidden ego working in trying to look for a solution. Why are you trying to look for a worldly solution? If someone finds fault with you, you should accept it and tell him, ‘ I have been wrong for a very long time.’ (P.435)
Questioner: You mention in one of the Aptavanis that if someone were to say, “Dada is a thief,” you would consider that he has done a great favor to you.
Dadashri: Indeed I would be very grateful to him because generally no one would say such a thing. And if someone was to say it, it is my own echo from the past.
This universe is in the form of an echo; whatever befalls you, is the result of your own doing. I am giving you a hundred percent guarantee of this in writing. That is why I would be indebted to that person. When I am doing this, should you not do the same too? If you do this, your mind will be at peace. But if you do not feel gratitude towards the other person, then your ego will arise and abhorrence would result. The other person will not be harmed but you will lose everything. (P.435)
5. Speech Is A Record
Speech is the cause of all problems, and it is because of speech one is not able to get rid of his illusion. People will claim, ‘He insulted me,” and so vengeance never leaves!
Questioner: Despite all conflicts and verbal abuse people experience, they forget everything because of their illusion (moha). I remember everything that was said to me even if it was ten years ago, and in such instances I sever my ties with that person.
Dadashri: But I do not sever ties. I know that such events are not noteworthy. To me it is like a radio that is playing, and sometimes I find it amusing.
That is why I have openly said to the world that this is the ‘original taped record’ that is playing (speaking). Everyone is a ‘radio’, and if someone was to prove this otherwise, then this entire Gnan is wrong. (P.437)
Compassion is to feel love towards a person's foolishness. The world on the other hand becomes vengeful towards it.
Questioner: When someone is talking hurtfully, then at that time his foolishness is not apparent. I feel that he is at fault.
Dadashri: It is not under the poor fellow’s control. It is the taped record that continues to play. I am able to recognize this immediately. If a person were aware of what grave responsibility he carries, then he would not say anything. And the tape would not play. (P.439)
If someone was to call me stupid or a fool, it would not affect me in the least. If they tell me that I have no sense, my response would be, “It is good that you know that now, I knew this from the very beginning. Now tell me something else.” If you respond in this way, you can resolve matters quickly.
How can anyone measure this intellect? What kind of scales would you use to measure it? Where will you find the lawyer? Instead it is better for you to say to the person, ‘My brother, yes, you are right. I have no sense. You only discovered it today but I knew this from the beginning. Come, say something else.’ Then you will be able to bring an end to it.
It is not worth dwelling upon people’s words, after all, they are only previously recorded words that are being replayed. (P.439)
Let me tell you what the outcome has been when people try to look for causes. This whole world has come about because people look for the cause. Do not look for the cause behind anything. Everything is vyavasthit (scientific circumstantial evidences that come together to produce an event). No one can say anything to you outside the laws of vyavasthit. You are at fault for harboring an unnecessary grudge against that person. The whole world is flawless. I see the flawlessness, which is why I am telling you about it. Why is the world flawless? Is the pure Soul not flawless?
So who appears to be at fault? It’s the body complex (pudgal). But this body complex, throughout its existence, is an effect of past karma. What can you do when it is the unfolding of effects of past karma that dictate the kind of speech that comes out? Just look at the science Dada has given you; it gives no cause for any conflicts.
Speech is inanimate; it is a record. When this taped record plays, is the tape not previously recorded? In the same manner, the tape of this speech has already been recorded. When the circumstances are right, it will begin to play just as a record begins to play the moment the pin on the stylus touches the record. (P.440)
Does it not happen many times that although you have made a firm decision not to say anything to your mother-in-law or your husband, you end up saying something anyway? What made you speak, when even though you did not wish to? Did your husband want to be yelled at? Then who or what makes you speak? It is a record that is playing and once a recording has already taken place, no one, absolutely no one can change or alter it. (P.440)
Oftentimes you may decide to stand up to someone and speak up, and yet when you approach that person and find others around him, you refrain from saying anything and turn away. Something holds you back from uttering even a single word. Does that not happen? Now if speech was in your control, it would come out exactly as you wish, but does that ever happen? (P.441)
This science is so beautiful that it does not bind you in any way and brings about a quick resolution. If you keep this science in your awareness and remember what Dada tells you about people’s speech being prerecorded, then no matter what anyone says to you, even if your superiors are reprimanding you, it will not affect you. This should become firmly engraved within you.
You should realize that when a person talks too much, it is simply a record that is playing. If you keep this in mind, then you will not fall. Otherwise what happens if you become emotional?
‘Speech is a record’, is key to solve your problems in our Gnan and this is a fact. It is indeed, a record. So would there be any problem if you were to view speech in this light, starting now? People nowadays do not go around hitting others with sticks, instead they use their speech. Here all the bombs are made of speech. Would they have any problems if they were to conquer their speech? Speech is a record. That is why I have exposed its true nature to the world. The reason for my telling you that speech is a record is to make it worthless in your mind. To me, no matter what a person says, or how he says it, is of no value. I know that he has no capacity to say anything. He is simply a spinning top. And this here is the record talking. He is the top only and worth pitying.
Questioner: ‘This is a top’, this much does not remain in awareness at the critical moment.
Dadashri: No, first decide that, ‘Speech is a record,’ and then tell yourself, ‘this speech is vyavasthit. This is a file, settle it with equanimity.’ If this knowledge is simultaneously present, then nothing will affect you. Whatever he speaks, is vyavasthit, is it not? It is just a record that is playing, is it not? He is not the one speaking today, is he? Therefore nobody is responsible. The Lord, through his vision has seen that every living being is faultless and flawless, and it is with this vision that he attained moksha. The worldly people see faults in others and that is why they clash with everyone and wander around in this world. This is the only difference between the two visions! (P.441)
Questioner: Yes, but what effort (purusharth) do we have to make to perpetuate this vision?
Dadashri: No effort has to be made. The more you feel that whatever Dada is saying is the ultimate truth and the more it delights you the greater will be the fitting and perpetuation of this vision internally.
So decide once and for all that it is exactly the way Dada says it is; that speech is only a recorded tape. From now on inculcate it into your experience, so that when someone reprimands you, you will be able to laugh from within; do something like this. Because in reality speech is a taped record and you have that realization now, because you say things even when you do not want to. So ‘fit’ this in your conviction, that it is a taped record.
Questioner: Let us assume that when the opposite person’s record is playing and at that time I say that the record is playing. But then internally the reaction, ‘What this person is saying, is not proper, why is saying such things?’happens.
Dadashri: Why would that happen? If you are convinced that it is a record that is playing, then it should not affect you at all.
Questioner: But even if I believe that it is a record and are absolutely convinced of it, why is there such a reaction despite this?
Dadashri: You have decided that it is a recording and you are convinced about it, but knowledge (Gnan) of this must also be present at the time. The reason this knowledge does not come is because your ego jumps in and takes over. Therefore, later you need to make ‘it’ (ego) understand , ‘ Brother, this is a record playing! Why are you shouting around?’ If we say thus, then it will cool down inside. (P.442)
I am relating to you an incident that occurred when I was about twenty-five years old. A relative of ours had come to visit. At the time, I did not have this Gnan and did not know that speech is a record. This man said some very words to me. I could not afford to quarrel with any relatives. I told him, ‘Have a seat please, mistakes have happened.’ I served him tea and snacks and calmed him down. When he was leaving, I said, ‘Please take back the bag (harsh words) back with you. I have not ‘tasted’ its contents. You had given it without properly weighing and measuring. I do not accept anything that has not been measured. Only the goods correctly measured are of use to me. So please take your bag back with you.’ When he heard this, he became pacified. (P.443)
Words have the capacity to soothe or aggravate. Therefore, they are effective. All effective things are inanimate. The Self only is beyond effects. That which is temporary is effective. After receiving this Gnan, no matter how harsh or soothing, a speech may be, it has no effect. Despite this, why does it have an effect? The prior situations still remain in memory. Otherwise, if you know that it is an effect and that the speech of the other is a record, which is directed at ‘Chandulal’ (the relative self), and not You, the Self, then there will be no effect whatsoever. (P.446)
Whatever he says is not in his control. Regardless of the kind of words he uses, they should not incite a reaction within you. That is religion. Words may be of any kind. The spoken words do not have a bet that, ‘We are going to clash,’ when they are released. (P.447)
To utter words which create disruption for others is the greatest transgression of all. A good human being will ignore and suppress any speech that is hurtful to anyone. (P.447)
There is no harm in speaking. Speech is merely codeword. The codeword expresses and the words are being spoken. In these words there should not be the protection that, ‘I am right.’ There is no problem when you speak, but you should not protect your speech and insist that you are right. To protect what you say is the greatest violence (himsa). Any flow of words to cement the view, ‘I am right,’ is violence.
‘I am right,’ is verily the protection of the ego. If there is protection, there is nothing. Canon balls of hurtful speech may explode and yet they would not hurt anyone if there is no protection of the ego. Protection of the ego, causes a lot of hurt. (P.448)
Questioner: How does speech materialize and how does it come to an end at the level of the inner scientific functioning?
Dadashri: They are all scientific circumstantial evidences. The speech you will utter will be precisely the amount that is meant to be vented towards others and if there is no account pending, then everything will remain quiet at your end.
Once, in Dadar, there was a man who had proclaimed,’ I am going to see to it that Dada’s reputation is destroyed.’ Then when he came in my presence, I told him, ‘Please say something.’ I told him again, ‘Please say something.’ Then pointing to his throat, he replied, ‘It comes up to here, but does not come out.’ Aha, speak up!?! Here comes the ‘speaker’!! Is he the speaker or scientific circumstantial evidences? The words would not come out. My account is clear. So what power could he possibly have? (P.449)
6. All Speech Is Non-Self And Beyond Your Control
Questioner: You say, ‘All circumstances; the overt and the subtle, and circumstances of speech, are the non-Self and are under the control of another entity.’ Please explain this.
Dadashri: Overt circumstances means everything that you encounter and experience through the five senses; the air that you breath as you walk along; meeting someone you know; coming across a snake etc., are all overt circumstances. Even when someone yells abuse at you, that too is a overt circumstance; these are all event that you encounter on the outside.
Subtle circumstances are thoughts that arise in the mind, good or bad and keep coming.
Circumstances of speech are the events that arise when either you or someone else speaks or listens. (P.451)
When you understand and keep in your awareness that, ‘All events, external or internal, including speech are the non-Self, and are under the control of some other power’, then no matter what anyone says, you will not be affected by it. This sentence is not a figment of the imagination. It is exact. I am not asking you to respect what I say. This is exactly the way it is. It is due to your lack of understanding that you experience suffering.
Questioner: When someone says something hurtful, I can accept it and remain undisturbed because of your Gnan. The main question remains that I also speak words that are hurtful. If in that, I take the support of this sentence, am I not misusing your Gnan?
Dadashri: You cannot take refuge under that sentence! At that time you should be doing pratikraman. If you say anything that hurts others, then you must do pratikraman. If others say something that hurts you, then you must apply the knowledge that speech is under the control of some other entity and not the one who speaks. This will ensure that you do not feel hurt by what others say.
When you do pratikraman after having hurt someone with your speech, it will release you from the pain of your words. So in this way you will resolve everything.
Questioner: We often say things we do not want to and then we end up regretting it.
Dadashri: You are the ‘knower-seer’ of the speech that comes forth. If someone is hurt by that speech, then ‘we’ have to make the ‘speaker’ perform the pratikraman.
When someone curses ‘us’ (The Gnani Purush and the enlightened Lord within), I know that he is saying it to ‘Ambalal Patel.’ He is cursing the body complex (pudgal). He is not able to know the Soul (Atma) or recognize it. Therefore, we do not accept the words, and they do not affect us. I remain detached (vitarag). There is no attachment or abhorrence towards him.
What happens in the experiments of the Gnani Purush? In them, ‘we’ ‘see’ all that is happening. That is why I call this speech, a record! As this record plays, I observe what is being said. Whereas the ordinary people of the world, become involved with their speech. When there is absolute detachment and separation, it is called ‘Keval Gnan’ (absolute knowledge).
What the people of the world see, is also what the Gnani sees, but what the people see will not be of any value because their ‘basement’ is ego. ‘I am Chandulal,’ is his basement and ‘our’ (enlightened mahatmas of Dadashri) basement is, ‘I am pure Soul.’ Therefore whatever we ‘see’ goes towards absolute knowledge. The percentage with which we ‘see’ determines the extent of absolute knowledge. The percentage by which we see ourselves separate, see speech as separate, see what this ‘Chandulal’ is doing; to this extent absolute knowledge has arisen.
When someone swears at me, is always in my Gnan. ‘What is this record playing?’ that is in my Gnan. If the record said something wrong, that is also in my Gnan. Complete awareness is my state. Absolute awareness is Keval Gnan. In the worldly life, people’s awareness is worldly in nature; they are driven by their ego. Whereas, this is the awareness after Self-realization. This awareness of partial Keval Gnan will bring forth your salvation.
Do not leave the internal machinery unattended. Keep an eye on it at all times, pay special attention to where most of the wear and tear occurs. Know when and with whom, harsh speech is spoken. Speech that has come forth is not the problem, but you must ‘see’, ‘Wow! Chandulal uttered harsh words!’
Questioner: But is it not better not say anything as far as possible?
Dadashri: Speaking or not speaking is not in our hands anymore.
It is a different matter to observe everything external to you, but when you continuously observe, everything that is happening within you, during that time you are in the realm of Keval Gnan. This is partial Keval Gnan, not complete, absolute. Observe bad thoughts that arise and also observe the good ones. You must not have abhorrence towards bad thoughts or attachment towards good ones. You need not be concerned whether something is good or bad, because it is not under your control. (P.456)
7. The Lying Speech
Questioner: Is flattery considered truth? If one agrees to something as right, when he knows it is not, is that truth?
Dadashri: That is not called truth. Nothing is worthy of flattery. Flattery is a device people employ to conceal their own mistakes.
Questioner: Is there any advantage in talking pleasantly with anyone?
Dadashri: Yes, it makes him happy.
Questioner: But people feel hurt when they discover later on that they were lied to. Some people may talk sweetly while others, even though their speech is harsh, are sincere and truthful.
Dadashri: What is naked truth speech? If a boy was to tell his mother, ‘Hey you, wife of my father!’ he is stating the truth, is he not? Yet such a statement would offend her. She would be very hurt with this statement. This is what we call the naked truth. (P.460)
What is truth? How should it be? Truth should be pleasant to the other who hears it. If it is pleasant only, then it is not enough. It has to be beneficial to the other. That also is not enough. It should be said briefly. Therefore, there are four components. It should be the truth, it should be pleasant, it should be beneficial and it should be brief. All of these components must be present. If I said something beneficial and pleasant to you, but it was too lengthy, you would say, ‘Now uncle, please stop, let me have lunch.’ This is not a radio that can continue talking. The multiplication of these four is the truth, otherwise not. Otherwise speaking the naked truth alone makes untruth.
What should a person’s speech be like? It should combine all four of these components otherwise it becomes false. This principle is applicable to all speech used for worldly interactions. However, only the Gnani’s speech encompasses all four components. His speech is always for the benefit of others, never for his. The Gnani has no attachment with his relative self at all. (P.461)
Truth is where no living being is hurt through the medium of the mind, the speech or the actions. That is the highest truth. This is the highest of all principles. This however, is not the real truth (the Self), but it is the ultimate of all worldly interaction truths.
Questioner: Why does man tell lies?
Dadashri: No one has ever lied to me. On the contrary thousands of women have disclosed to me their lifelong secrets. One such woman even wrote to me telling me about her life from the age of twelve till her present age of fifty. She divulged everything in her letter to me. Never before in the history of the world has such an event occurred. Thousands of women have made confessions to me and I have helped them wash away their sins. (P.463)
Questioner: Why do human beings lie without having a reason? What is the cause behind that?
Dadashri: They do it because of their anger, pride, deceit and greed. It is because they want to gain something. They may want respect, money or something else, they may even have a hidden fear, and so they lie. People have a subtle fear deep within of, “What will they say if they know?” Then gradually they get into a habit of lying, to the point where they will tell lies even in the absence of fear.
Questioner: Today, in our society, many people lie and steal and despite their dishonesty, they live very comfortably, whereas those who are honest and forthright seem to have many problems in their lives. So, what should one do? Should a person tell a lie for a little peace, or tell the truth and suffer?
Dadashri: It’s like this; all of these people are experiencing the consequences of their own deeds from their past lives. Those who lied in their past lives are suffering today. The other who said the truth, is also enjoyng the fruits of his actions. To tell lies in this life is to face the consequences in the next life. If you tell the truth, it will have its own fruits. In their current lives, people are merely experiencing the fruits of their past actions. Everything that happens is pure justice, nothing but justice.
A man got the result of his examination, and passed. And you failed. The one who passed is now whiling and wasting away his time, but he was quite correct when he gave his examination. So all this that comes, is a result and fruit of past life actions. To accept and enjoy the fruits as they are, bitter or sweet is purusharth, spiritual effort. (P.464)
Questioner: Why is it that even when some people tell a lie, it is accepted as the truth while others even when telling the truth, are counted as liars? What is this puzzle?
Dadashri: It is because of karma, merit or demerit. Everything that happens is dependent upon your good and bad deeds from your past life. When the effect of demerit is in operation, people will think you are lying even when you are telling the truth. When effects of your merit karma are in operation, people will believe you even when you are telling a lie.
Questioner: Then, does that not harm him?
Dadashri: Indeed harm is there but he will experience it in his next life. In the current life you are experiencing the effects of your actions from your previous life. By lying in this life, you are sowing seeds for your next life. This is precisely how this world functions and no one, absolutely no one, can exert his or her influence over the way this works. (P.460)
Questioner: Is it acceptable to deliberately do something wrong and then say that you will do pratikraman for it?
Dadashri: No, you should never do anything wrong deliberately. However, if something should go wrong, then you must do pratikraman.
Questioner: Is it considered demerit karma to lie for the sake of others?
Dadashri: In any event, lying is wrong. When you lie for someone else’s benefit, you bind both merit (punya) karma as well as demerit (paap) karma.
When you lie, you will lose people’s trust and when you lose the trust of others, you lose your value as a person. (P.465)
Questioner: What happens when a lie is discovered?
Dadashri: Then you should admit that you have been caught. I would admit it and tell them, “Yes, I got caught.” What is wrong in admitting that? If you do this, then you and the other person can laugh about it. The other person will then realize that it was a trivial matter and there was no harm in it.
Questioner: What would happen if you were to discover our lies?
Dadashri: Nothing. I catch people telling lies many times but I also understand that this is how it is. What else can I expect? (P.466)
One has been lying for endless lives. Has one ever told the truth? If I were to ask this man where he has been, he would tell me he went out for a walk, but actually he went to the movies. People casually tell lies all the time, but they must also ask for forgiveness (pratikraman). (P.468)
Questioner: Is it wrong to lie when we are working towards a higher spiritual goal (parmaarth-ultimate goal)?
Dadashri: The idea behind parmaarth means anything done for the Soul and anything that is done for the soul does not incur a faut, but anything done for the body does. Your bad deeds will give effect as your faults and your good deeds as your virtues, however anything that is done for the benefit of the soul will not result in a fault. It will result as a fault if you were to be instrumental in hurting someone.
There is nothing wrong in doing something for the soul, even if you have to lie in the process. However, there is a problem if you are doing something for the body, even if you are telling the truth. Whenever you do something for your worldly comforts, even if you are telling the truth, there is a problem(karma continues), but if you have to lie to do anything for the soul, it is beneficial.
Questioner: Who will be held liable if I lie in order to help others? Is it okay to do this?
Dadashri: The one who lies will bear the fault.
Questioner: What if someone pressures you into lying? What if you are pressured into telling a lie for the good of someone?
Dadashri: Then you should tell the person pressuring you that you will mimic the words taught by him, exactly just as a parrot would since you are being pressured. Do not volunteer to say anything of your own. (P.468)
Before I attained this Gnan, I was once called to testify in a courtroom as a witness. An attorney told me to speak the way he instructed me to, but I refused to do so. He became upset with me, saying that if I did not want to follow his instructions, then why did I chose him to represent me and through my non-cooperation, he would end up losing the case and his reputation would be ruined. I asked him whether he had any other solutions and he told me that I had to speak only as much as he told me to. I told him that I would think about it. Later that night the answer came to me from within: that I should become like a parrot; my inner intent should be, ‘I am only saying this as taught by the attorney.’
As far as possible do not tell a lie for the sake and benefits of others. Do not steal for the benefit others. Do not commit violence for the benefit of others. All these are liabilities. (P.469)
Dadashri: Do you have even the slightest desire to tell a lie?
Dadashri: Even then, is it not a fact that you occasionally will lie? As soon as you realize that you have lied, you must immediately ask for forgiveness from ‘Dada’ by saying, “Dada I do not want to tell a lie and yet I did. Please forgive me. I will not lie again.” If it happens again do not worry, just continue to ask for forgiveness. In doing so, your mistakes will not be ‘recorded,’ they will not go on record if you ask for forgiveness. (P.461)
Questioner: Everyday I tell myself that what I did was wrong and that I should not have spoken this way. Despite this Dada, why does it happen even against my wishes?
Dadashri: It is because of the excessive intellect that you have brought with you. I never caution anyone against doing anything but when I do, he will listen.
Questioner: I will bind karma if lie, will I not?
Dadashri: Yes definitely! More than the actual lie, the intent to lie is what binds the karma. To tell a lie is really the fruit of your past karma, but it is the intent and the resolution to lie that binds the karmas. Do you understand this? Will this statement be of any help to you?
Questioner: So we should stop lying.
Dadashri: No, but you should let go of the intent to lie. If you happen to lie, you must repent and tell yourself, ‘What did you do? Telling such lies is wrong.’ The actual lying cannot be stopped, but your opinion about lying can be. Resolve that, ‘From now onwards, I will not tell a lie. To tell a lie is a great sin. It causes great suffering. To tell a lie is verily bondage.’ With such an opinion, the sins of your lying will cease and all that will remain will be the reactions of your intentions that were not stopped in your past life. The account will still be there and as a result you will be forced to tell a lie. For telling a lie you will have to repent. But even if you repent after you lie, you will still have to suffer the fruits of the fruit of your karma, i.e. the effect of the effect of karma: you will disgrace yourself in the eyes of others. People will be astonished and say, ‘Wow Chandulal, such a well-educated man like you would stoop so low as to lie.’ So even if you repent, you will have to suffer the fruits of disgrace again. But if the causes were to be stopped from now on, then you will not suffer the fruits or the fruits of the fruit.
So what I am saying is that when you tell a lie, are you opposing that lie from within and telling yourself, ‘This is wrong. Lying is wrong?’ Then it can be said that it has been determined that you do not like lying. If you do not have an opinion that it is acceptable to lie, then your responsibility will come to an end. (P.472)
Questioner: But what does one do when he is habituated to tell lies?
Dadashri: He will then have to develop a habit of doing pratikraman simultaneously. When he does the pratikraman, the responsibility becomes mine.
So change your opinion! Telling a lie is the same as ending your life. You have to be of the opinion that lying is synonymous to destroying your life. You have to decide this. But in the same token, do not get hung up on the truth either. (P.473)
Questioner: From birth I have difficulty with my speech.
Dadashri: It is because in your previous life, you had abused your speech. When a person swears excessively, he will lose his tongue. Then what can he do? Do people leave anything unsaid? If your karmas are lesser, then your tongue will rejuvenate. After a few years you will not have any such problems.
It is because you misused your speech, that you lost your tongue! You will lose your tongue by however much you abuse it. (P.469)
Questioner: I am very stern by nature. My speech is so harsh that it hurts people although it is not my intention to hurt anyone.
Dadashri: You should not say anything that would hurt anyone. It is very wrong to use speech that hurts others.
Questioner: What is the speech harsh and hurtful speech?
Dadashri: That sort of speech is used only to impress and intimidate others.
Questioner: I spoke harshly to create an impression. The other person suffers and tolerates it. On what basis does he tolerate it?
Dadashri: The person does so for selfish reasons. Only the one who has selfish motives will tolerate it. Secondly, he will tolerate it to avoid conflict. Thirdly, he will tolerate it to preserve his reputation, to stop a scene being created. ‘The dog is barking but I am not going to bark back!’ People will employ any means and put up with it by whatever means they can. (P.470)
8. Pratikraman Erases Hurt
There is no such thing as truth or non-truth in the eyes of God. Truth and non-truth are arrangements of the society. Truth differs from faith to faith. The truth of the Hindus becomes the un-truth of the Muslims and the truth of the Muslims becomes the un-truth of the Muslims. This is all man made. For God there is no right or wrong. God only says that you should do pratikraman if you hurt anyone; no one should be hurt by you. You are ‘Chandulal’ in the world and that is true, but in God’s domain, ‘Chandulal’ does not exist; that which is true in the relative sense is untrue in the real.
Your worldly life can continue unhindered and you can remain unaffected by it. All that is required of you is that you follow my Agnas. I do not have any objections even when ‘Chandulal’ tells lies, but because lying does harm to others, ‘Chandulal’ must be made to do pratikraman. Lying is a trait that belongs to the prakruti (the non-Self), so therefore it cannot be restrained. I do not object to lies, but I do have an objection when a person does not do pratikraman for having told a lie.
Say for example, when you tell a lie, awareness arises from within, that this is wrong. That meditation (arisen awareness) is considered dharma dhyana(positive meditation that takes one higher spiritually). People are in search of such a meditation. When you tell a lie you must ask for forgiveness from Dada within and you must also ask for the strength never to lie again.
Questioner: Even if the speech comes out mechanically, it still hurts the other person, does it not?
Dadashri: Yes, but since it was not your wish to hurt the other person, you should do pratikraman. Whatever account that was pending, has been paid off today.
Questioner: And what if I say something that may offend him even more?
Dadashri: Yes, everything will hurt him. If something wrong is done, he is bound to feel hurt. Nevertheless, the account will have to be settled, will it not? There is no way out of it.
Questioner: I am not able to suppress it, so it comes out in my speech.
Dadashri: Yes that will happen. You have to do pratikraman for whatever comes out. Just repent for it and then resolve never to repeat it.
Then whenever you are sitting idle, just keep on doing pratikraman for that. Doing this will weaken everything. Only your difficult ‘files’ have to be weakened and resolved in this manner and you only have two to four such files, not many. (P.475)
Questioner: What should I do when conflicts occur even when I have no desire to clash and I say harsh words?
Dadashri: This happens in the final stages. When your path is coming to an end, you will do wrong even if it is against your wish. If you repent at that time, everything will be erased. This is the only solution for any wrongdoing. You may end up doing something wrong even if that was not your intent or if you have an uncompleted task, you may feel an inclination to do wrong and you may end up doing so also. Either situation can occur. (P.477)
Questioner: Why should I do pratikraman, when my intentions are good?
Dadashri: Pratikraman must be done because the other person is hurt. People will say, ‘See how this woman is scolding her husband.’ So you will have to do pratikraman for this, even if your intent is pure and you have no desire to hurt your husband. You also have to do pratikraman for any hurt that is obvious. Your intentions may be as good as gold, but of what use are they? If you make a mistake, you have to do pratikraman regardless of what or how your intentions may be. I too have to do pratikraman even though my intention is pure. If a mistake is made, pratikraman has to be done. All these Mahatmas ( Self-realized in Akram Vignan), now wish for the salvation of the world and although their intentions are good, pratikraman is still needed, where they make mistakes. When you stain your clothes, do you not wash them right away?
Whenever this ‘record’ plays, and if there is an error in it, I immediately do pratikraman. It will not do otherwise. Although the speech is prerecorded and even though I am not the owner of the speech, I am still held liable for any mistakes in it and therefore I must do pratikraman. After all, people would say, ‘Dada, the tape is yours is it not?” Would they not say this? After all, it is not anyone else’s is it? So that is why I have to wash those words. Wrong words must not be uttered. (P.478)
Pratikraman is the ultimate science. If I happen to use stern words with you which affect you a little, I still have to know that I can never use harsh speech. It is because of this Gnan that I am able to know my mistake.Therefore I have to do pratikraman in your name..
Questioner: What happens when we speak, if we feel we are correct by our viewpoint and yet the other person feels that we are wrong according to his viewpoint?
Dadashri: All such talk is incorrect. Correct speech is only that which is accepted by the other person, fits him. You should speak in such a way that the other person will accept your speech. (P.478)
Questioner: Is it atikraman (transgression through the mind, body or speech towards any living being), when you say something to someone and although it is not your intention, the other person feels that you have said something wrong?
Dadashri: You must do pratikraman if you hurt the other person. Does it take a lot of work to do pratikraman? You can never be happy if you hurt others. (P.479)
Questioner: Sometimes we have to caution someone when he is doing something unacceptable in the worldly sense. Is it right to do so?
Dadashri: In the worldly interactions you may have to caution someone, but because the ego is involved in it, you must do pratikraman.
Questioner: If we do not caution them, will they not take advantage of us?
Dadashri: You have to warn them, but you should also know how to do it. When people don’t know how to speak in such situations, because they speak with their ego and that is why they must do pratikraman. Whenever you caution someone, he is bound to feel hurt, but if you keep doing pratikraman, in a short time, perhaps even within a year, your speech will be more pleasant and acceptable to the other person. (P.479)
Questioner: Many times we have to warn or prevent someone from doing something, for his or her own benefit. What if this hurts them?
Dadashri: You have a right to tell them but you should know how to do so. Instead people tend to attack and criticize the other person the moment they see him and that is atikraman. If you hurt the other person, you must say, ‘Oh Chandubhai! Why he did you do the atikraman? Now do pratikraman. I will not say such words again. And for these words I am very repentant.’ That is all the pratikraman to do. (P.480)
Questioner: Should we not say anything even if he is lying or doing something wrong?
Dadashri: Yes you can caution him. Tell him that, ‘If this does not happen, it would be better. It would be good if this happens,’ You can say it this way. He feels hurt because you speak as though you are his superior and that offends him. If the words are going to be hurtful, then they should be spoken with humility and respect.
Questioner: Can respect and humility be maintained even while speaking harsh words?
Dadashri: Yes they can be maintained; that is the very science. You are playing a ‘role’, and that role must be played out thoroughly and convincingly, just as the actor, Laxmichand, while playing the role of King Bhratruhari, sheds tears when he begs alms from Queen Pingda. In reality Laxmichand is not crying, but he knows that if he does not play his part well, he will lose his wages. This is how you should express your sentiments. After Gnan all this is a drama. (P.480)
Questioner: Should pratikraman be done in the mind, through reading or verbally?
Dadashri: No, in your mind only. You can do it however you want to, through the mind or verbally. Acknowledge your mistakes that hurt the other person, and ask for his forgiveness. It is fine even if you say it in your mind. If the atikraman was done in the mind, all you have to do is pratikraman.
Questioner: When you find yourself in a bad situation and someone speaks and behaves very badly towards you, you react with a lot of anger and say angry words to him but from within you feel that whatever is happening is wrong. Which carries higher responsibility, the spoken words or the reaction in the mind?
Dadashri: The verbal attacks will give results right away because the other person will retaliate immediately, but the mental attacks will perpetuate. The results will come later because essentially what you have done is planted a seed, which is the new cause (i.e. a new karma). In order to prevent the new cause from becoming established, if you made a mistake through the mind, then you should do pratikraman through the mind also. Atikraman of the mind is a cause and atikraman of the spoken words is an effect. Both call for pratikramans.
9. Marital And Family Disharmony
As a human being, if one does not interfere in the present flow of life, it would run very smoothly. But one interferes constantly in the current flowing life. From dawn the interference starts.
They quarrel about the most trivial things. The wife will complain, “You don’t even rock the baby. The baby has been crying for so long’.” The husband will retaliate, “Did I have to rock the baby when he was in your womb? Now that he is out, you have to tend to it.” Now tell me, what is this woman likely to do if she is not submissive? (P.483)
Questioner: When you say that one should not interfere, does that mean that one has to leave everything haphazard as it is in the home, even when there are many people in the household?
Dadashri: You should neither leave things be as they are, nor should you interfere.
Questioner: How would that be possible?
Dadashri: How can you interfere? Interference occurs because of the ego. It is the ego’s madness!
Questioner: If work needs to be done in the house, can we tell him to do it?
Dadashri: Yes, but there are ways of saying it.
Questioner: You mean we should not become emotional when we say it?
Dadashri: At other times, do you not speak so sweetly to him that even before you are finished he understands?
Questioner: What should I do about the strong and abrasive speech?
Dadashri: Harsh language in itself is interference! If your speech is harsh then you have to use additional words like, “I request you…,” or “I am asking you to please do this much.” All you have to do is use such words before your proceed.
Questioner: When we say, for example, ‘Hey, take this plate from here,’ or when we say it more gently, ‘Take this plate from here,’ …the force behind the way we say it…
Dadashri: Only when you say it with authority are you interfering.
Questioner: So we must speak gently.
Dadashri: It would be fine to speak in a gentle tone, but some people will still create interference even if they use a gentle tone. Instead you should say, “I am requesting you to please do this much for me!” Include a few extra words.
Questioner: What should we do when we have a major clash at home?
Dadashri: A wise person would not get into an argument even if he was offered a hundred thousand dollars, and here people clash without getting anything. In order to discharge his karmas, Lord Mahavir had to leave home and go into the wilderness where uncivilized and abusive people lived to look for penance, whereas people today are very fortunate to find such penance in their own homes! Such situations are very beneficial towards your spiritual progress, provided you use them towards your benefit.
At home you should give advice only if you are asked for it. God has called it egoism to give advice without being asked. If the husband asks, ‘Where shall I place this cup?’ The wife replies, ‘Put it there.’ Then you should place it there. But instead he will counter, ‘You don’t have any sense of placements. What a place to put this cup!’ So then she will respond, ‘I have no sense, that is why I told you. Now use your sense!’ When will such interference stop? These are all clashes of situations only. (P.485)
Questioner: But not everyone’s intellect is the same, Dada! People do not think alike. Even if we do something good, they do not understand. What should we do?
Dadashri: It is not like that. Everyone can understand thoughts but everyone believes that their thinking is right and others are wrong. People do not have any awareness at all. No one knows how to enquire. Even as human beings they have no sense. They think that just because they have a college degree, they know everything. But if they had any sense, they would not clash with anyone and they would know how to adjust everywhere. Do you like it if a door keeps slamming in the wind?
Dadashri: So how would you like it when people quarrel? You do not like it even when dogs fight.
All these quarrels are the results of past karmas. Nevertheless, you must refrain from saying anything wrong. Keep the matter inside you and restrain yourself in your speech, whether you are at home or outside. Many women will claim they would rather their husbands slapped them, than say hurtful things to them. Just imagine that kind of speech, although it does not physically touch them, it wounds them deeply. (P.486)
Men can be so awkward. He remains silent if he is hurt accidentally outside his home and yet in the home he deliberately exerts his authority as a husband. He then pays for his aggression in his old age when his wife does not heed him. Instead why not simply stay within your limits? People should not quarrel in their homes. If they want to they can quarrel outside. The women should do the same too.
Questioner: Can it still be considered a clash-free home if a person does not say anything, but harbors clash in his mind?
Dadashri: That is a much greater clash. There will always be discord when the mind is unsettled and when a person says, “I feel uneasy in the mind,” that is the sign of clash. Conflict varies in its intensity. The more intense ones will even lead a person to heart failure. Some people speak in such a way that it shocks the other person and stops his heart. (P.486)
Questioner: When someone deliberately throws away something important, how should we adjust to that situation?
Dadashri: It may be an object that is being thrown away but you should also become an ‘observer’ even when he ‘throws’ out your son. What else are you going to do? Are you going to attack your husband in return? If you do, you will end up paying medical bills for two instead of just one. And when he gets the opportunity; he will get even with you.
Questioner: Does that mean that we should not say anything at all?
Dadashri: You can speak, but only if you know how to say it without offending him. Otherwise what is the use of speaking when no one listens? What is the use of barking like a dog? Speak, but do so in a non-offending manner.
Questioner: And what would be the non-offending way to speak?
Dadashri: If you ask gently, “ Oh ho ho, why did you throw the boy? What was the reason?” He would say, “Do you think I did that on purpose? I lost my grip and so he fell!”
Questioner: But is he not lying when he says that?
Dadashri: Do not look at it that way. Whether he is lying or telling the truth, is up to him. It does not depend on you. He simply does what he feels. Whether he wants to lie or do away with you is under his control. If he poisons your drinking water at night, you would die, would you not? So do not look at what is not under your control. It will only be of use if you know how to talk to him properly. The proper way would be to ask him, ‘my dear, what did you benefit from this?’ then he will admit his mistake on his own. You do not know how to say anything in a non-offending manner. If you offend his ego, he will retaliate with twice the force.
Questioner: What should we do when we do not know how to say things? Should we remain silent?
Dadashri: Keep silent and watch what transpires. What do you do when you see children being mistreated in a movie? Everyone has a right to speak up but only as long as what they say does not cause more conflict. Only foolish people will say things that make matters worse. (P.489)
Questioner: Is it possible to dissipate a conflict by not speaking with the other person?
Dadashri: No it is not possible. You should speak with the other person if you encounter him or her. You should ask how doing is. If the other person reacts with hostility, you should quietly try to resolve the situation with equanimity. You will have to resolve the situation, sooner or later. Just because you do not speak with the other person, does not mean that the problem has been resolved. It is because the problem has not been resolved that people end up not speaking with each other. Not speaking with the other person means there is a burden; the burden of the unresolved conflict. You should approach the other person and say, ‘Tell me if I have done something wrong. I make a lot of mistakes. You are a very intelligent person, you are learned and you do not make many mistakes but I am not as learned and so I make a lot of mistakes.’ If you say this to other person, he will be appeased.
Questioner: What if he does not calm down even after I say this?
Dadashri: What can you do if he does not calm down? Once you tell them this, then you are free, what other solution is there? One day or another he will calm down. You cannot soften the other person by telling him off. He may appear to have calmed down but from within he makes a mental note of it and will throw it back in your face when you least expect it. So understand that his world lives on vengeance. The fact is that people will continue to harbor vengeance; they will retain the atoms of revenge within so you must try to resolve the situation completely.
Questioner: What should I do if I try to break the silence by asking for forgiveness from the other person but instead, he reacts even more negatively?
Dadashri: Then you should not say anything to him. If he has the misconception of, ‘The one who gives in is immature,’ then you should stay away from him. Then, whatever happens is correct. But resolve everything with those who are straightforward and easy to deal with. Can you not tell who in your household is easy to get along with and who is difficult?
Questioner: If the other person is not straightforward, should we sever the relationship with him?
Dadashri: Do not sever it. Worldly interactions are not such that they break through you breaking them. You should just remain silent and then one day he or she will get angry and bring about a resolution. If you remain quiet, then one day she will get angry and ask you, ‘You do not say anything anymore. You have not said anything for so many days,’ when she gets angry, you will resolve things. What else can you do? There are so many different kinds of iron; I can understand them all. Certain iron will become malleable when heated, and others need to be left in the kiln and will straighten up with just a few strokes of a hammer. There are so many different kinds of irons; the soul within is the pure soul; it is paramatma (the Supreme Soul) and iron is the iron. These are all elements.
One day ask your wife with a lot of respect if she would cook you something nice to eat and see what happens.
Questioner: It will make her day! She will be very happy!
Dadashri: She will be very pleased, but you do not communicate with her even ordinarily. It is as if you have to pay for every word you say to her! Do you have to go out and buy the words?
Questioner: No, but my authority as a husband will diminish!
Dadashri: Goodness gracious! Your authority as a husband will diminish! You have taken on this powerful position and you are not even ‘certified’! It would be a different matter if you had the qualifications!
When a husband and wife fight with their neighbor, they fight side by side and are united and the unity between the two is visible, but in their own home they quarrel and fight with each other. Their unity breaks down and they criticize each other and become verbally abusive towards each other.
Would you fight with a member of your family even if he were to raise his fist at you? No, you would not. People should live as one united family. Even if your wife gets angry with you and scolds you, after a while you should tell her that no matter how angry she gets with you, you do not like being away from her. You should use this ‘mantra’ to appease her, but you never speak to her this way. Do you have a problem in saying this? You may have love for her from within, but you should also declare it to her from time to time. (P.491)
Even at the age of seventy-three, Hiraba (Dada’s wife) would ask me to come home early. In return I would tell her that I too, did not like being away from her. I played my role to the fullest and how happy it made her feel! She would declare her feelings to me and I too, would speak accordingly. Whatever you say should be beneficial to others. What good is it if you say things that are not beneficial to others?
The laws of karma are such that if you scold your servant, your child or your wife for an hour, in your next life they will return as your husband or your mother-in-law and do the same to you. Surely we need justice? You will have to suffer the same thing. If you hurt anyone, you will have suffering throughout your life. Even if you hurt someone for just an hour, you will have to experience a lifetime worth of suffering. You will then complain about your wife ill-treating you. Even your wife will ask herself why she mistreats you. She too suffers, but what can one do? When I ask men whether they chose their wives or the wives chose them, they tell me that they chose their wives. If that is the case, how can they blame their wives? What can their wives do if things turn out contrary to the expectations of their husbands? Where can she go? (P.492)
You should not say even a word to anyone in this world. To do so is a major disease. Each and every one of us have brought our own accounts from the past. What is the point in interfering?. I have given you the knowledge of vyavasthit for this very reason. (P.493)
You only have to do one thing in this world. No one should say anything to anyone. Peacefully eat whatever comes your way and go about your business. Don’t say anything. You do not tell anything to your son or husband, do you? (P.495)
It is better to limit your speech. There is no merit in saying anything to anyone. On the contrary when you say something, it makes matters worse. If you tell your son, ‘Take the train on time,’ he will be late and if you do not tell him anything, he will be on time. Things have a tendency to work out even without you. You are exercising your ego unnecessarily. Your child will begin to improve from the day you stop nagging him. He does not value your words. It is because of your unpleasant words that he becomes agitated; your own words bounce back to you because they are simply not accepted. You only need to take care of your responsibility towards them, which is to feed and clothe them. There is no worth in saying anything else. Are you able to conclude that there is no merit in saying anything?
Questioner: Children do not understand their own responsibility.
Dadashri: The responsibility is in the hands of vyavasthit. The children do understand their responsibility. You do not know how to talk to them; hence interference is created through your speech. Your speech is only effective if the children accept what you say. When the parents speak is recklessly, the children will behave recklessly.
Questioner: The children snap back and speak rudely with us.
Dadashri: Yes, but how are you going to stop them? Things will only get better if all of you stop attacking speech with each other.
Once the discord starts in the mind, its link will continue and you will form an opinion about that person. At such a time you should remain silent and try to gain his confidence. Nobody is going to improve through your constant griping. Only the Gnani’s speech can improve things. Parents need to be extremely cautious where children are concerned. Is it really necessary for the parents to say anything? No it is not. This is precisely the reason why God has said that mortals should live like the dead. Things that are spoilt can be improved, but only the Gnani is capable of that. You should not try to improve things on your own. All you have to do is follow my Agnas. Only those who have improved themselves can improve others. (P.497)
Questioner: How can you tell if a person has improved?
Dadashri: You can tell that you have improved when the person you are scolding feels love in your scolding. The child will feel that his father loves him deeply even though he is being scolded. So scold them, but do it in a loving manner, only then will they improve. Here nowadays, if a professor were to scold a student, the student would be ready to beat him.
You should always continue your efforts to improve the other, but avoid those efforts which elicit a negative reaction. If they are hurt by what you say, then you cannot regard it as an effort on your part. Your attempts should be internal and done in a subtle manner. If you do not know how to make overt efforts, you should do it in a subtle manner. If you do not want to scold them too much, just be brief and tell him, ‘This does not suit us as a family unit.’ Just say only this much. You have to say something but you should know how to say it.
If you try to improve others when you have not improved, you will only end up spoiling them further. It is the easiest of all to improve yourself. It is meaningless to improve others when you have not. (P.499)
Rebuke and scolding leads a person to avoid telling the truth and leads him to deceit. Deceit (kapat) arises in the world as a result of the fear of reprimand and rebuke. Reprimanding others is the highest ego; it is a mad ego. Censuring is only useful when it is not coupled with prejudice or opinions.
At certain times, do you not speak pleasantly? You do that when you speak with your boss or your superiors. But you use harsh language with people who work under you and you criticize and scold them all day long. Your entire speech becomes ruined by doing this. There is ego behind it.
There is nothing worth saying in this world. Whatever we say, is ego. The entire world is with an internal regulator. (P.500)
10. Nurture Your Plants Thus…
A bank manager once came to me and told me, ‘I remain absolutely calm at home. I do not say a word to my wife or my children.’ I told him, ‘You are the ultimate fool. You are not worth anything in this world.’ He thought that Dada would be very happy with him and reward him. The fool! Can there be a reward for this? When your child does something wrong, you have to say to him, ‘Why did you do that. Do not do it again.’ You have to say it in a make-believe way, as if you meant it (show emotions without being emotional) otherwise he will think that whatever he is doing is fine because by not saying anything, his father has accepted it. Children fall apart because you do not say anything to them. You have to tell them everything but it has to be in a dramatic manner. You have to sit him down at night and talk to him, explain things to him. Children need to be shaken up a little, now and then. Although they have some good qualities, you have to shake them a little. Is there anything wrong in doing so?
Many fathers tell their son, ‘You never listen to me.’ I tell them, ‘They do not like your speech. If they do, they will listen.’ The foolish man! You do not know how to be a father. What do you expect? Just look at what has become of the people in this current time cycle of Kaliyug! How wonderful the parents were in Satyug! (P.502)
In 1952 a man started telling me, ‘This government is bad. It must be dissolved.’ He kept on telling me this same matter from 1952 till 1962. Then I told him, ‘You tell me this everyday. Has any changed occurred over there, in the government? Has your speech brought any results?’ He replied, No, none at all.’ Then I told him, ‘Then why are you singing the same song, everyday? A radio is better than you.’
We should stop saying anything if it brings no results. We are the ones who are foolish, we do not know how to say things, and therefore we should stop. Such speech does not bring any results and it only worsens our mind and our soul. Why would anyone do such a thing? (P.511)
Questioner: What should a father do if his son does not listen to him?
Dadashri: Accept it as, ‘It is my fault’ and close the matter. When the fault is yours, then only he would not listen. You have not known how to be a father. How is it possible that the son will not listen if you are a good father? The fact is that you do not know how to be a father.
Questioner: Once you become a father, is the toddler going to leave you alone?
Dadashri: Do you think they will leave you alone? These little ‘puppies’ live their entire lives watching their parents. They observe their father constantly ‘barking’ and their mother ‘biting’. The father cannot refrain from ‘barking’, so ultimately he is the one everyone blames and the ‘puppies’ will side with their mother.
I once told a man that if he did not treat his wife well, his children would take revenge on him when they were older. Children take note of everything when they are young and when they grow up they seek revenge. In some cases, the son has physically assaults his father for abusing his mother; as a small child he vowed to take revenge. Such vows are so strong that even if he stands to lose everything, he will not rest till he takes his revenge. This point is worth understanding.
Let all that is mine be gone for the sake of the accomplishment of this task(goal) is the definition of the term ‘niyanu’.
Questioner: So everything is the father’s fault?
Dadashri: Yes, the father’s entirely! The fault is entirely of the father. It is when the father is not qualified to be a father, that his wife defies him! This only happens when the father is incompetent! So eventually things are settled with physical force. For how long can one succumb to the pressures of society? (P.504)
Children are mirrors. From them we can see the extent of our mistakes. (P.505)
Questioner: What if we take a vow not to speak?
Dadashri: The vow to remain silent is not under your control. However it is good to remain silent. (P.506)
Questioner: If someone was doing something wrong, it is our duty to caution him. How can we resolve the matter if we end up hurting him when we caution him?
Dadashri: There is no problem in cautioning him, but you should know how to do it. You should know how to tell him.
Questioner: How can we do that?
Dadashri: When you tell your child, You are stupid. You are a donkey.’ If we speak thus, what will happen? Does he not have an ego? If your own boss tells you, ‘You are stupid. You are a donkey.’ What will happen? One must never caution in this way. You should know how to caution people. (P.508)
Questioner: How can we caution him?
Dadashri: Sit down with him. Then gently begin, ‘We are from the land of Hindustan. Ours has been the culture of Aryans, who never hurt others in their life. We are not barbaric people.’ If we use this tone and style of communications with love, he will listen. But yours has been the abusive approach. How can it work? (P.508)
Questioner: Children here are very argumentative and when we talk to them, they tell us, ‘Why are you lecturing us?’
Dadashri: Yes, they argue a lot. Yet, if you teach them with love, then the arguments will decrease. These arguments are the results of your own mistakes. They argue with you because they simply cannot forget all the times you had intimidated them. It simply cannot get wiped off from their minds. That is why they argue. Not a single child argues with me because I talk to them with true love.
My voice does not have a tone of authority or the trace of ego. If you talk to a child there should not be a hint of authority in it. (P.510)
Dadashri: So will you do a few experiments according to my instructions?
Questioner: What should we do?
Dadashri: Just speak to him with love and affection.
Questioner: He knows that I love him.
Dadashri: That kind of a love is worthless because the moment you say anything to him, you use your authority as a tax collector, ‘Do that, you have no sense, this and that etc.’ Do you not speak like that?
Only love improves the world. There is no other solution for it. If it were possible to change things through fear, repression and intimidation then there would and end to democracy in government and we would have totalitarian regimes that would incarcerate human beings and even hang them.
Questioner: What if he still does not improve?
Dadashri: You still have to continue to observe what happens even if he is headed in the wrong direction. You should pray to God to bestow his compassion upon him.
You carry a baby for the nine months, and when it is born you have to help it walk and then take it out to places in the world. You should only do this when they are young, after that you should let go. Do the cows not do the same to their young also? You need to guide and correct your child until the age of five, after that you cannot correct him. And after the age of twenty, his wife will be there to improve him. You do not have to do that.
Questioner: What should we do when we have to scold him and he is hurt?
Dadashri: Then you must ask for forgiveness from within. If you say something hurtful to this lady you should ask for her forgiveness. If you cannot do it in person then you should do it internally. (P.513)
Questioner: How can you interact with children, by becoming like them?
Dadashri: Do you act like a child in order to interact with your child? Children are afraid of their elders, so your behavior towards them should be such that they do not fear you. You should point out your child’s mistakes by explaining things to him rather than intimidating him. You do not gain anything by intimidating children. Because they are younger than you, they will be easily frightened, but this will not get rid of their faults. Instead, their faults will increase internally. Only through explanation will you be able to rid them of their faults.
Questioner: Yes indeed, this is what happens from my experience, and I am sharing it. And in my case this happens again and again.
Dadashri: Yes, that is why I am giving you this example. Suppose your son is twelve years old and you discuss everything with him. He will understand some of the points you tell him and he will not understand the rest. He does not understand your viewpoint so you will have to calmly tell him, ‘This is my intention. This is how I look at it. This is what I am trying to convey to you. Whether you understand it or not, please tell me about it later. And if there is anything about your viewpoint that I do not understand, then I will try my best to understand it.’ Talk to him in this way. (P.516)
That is why I tell people that after the age of sixteen they should treat their child like a friend. If you speak to him as a friend, your tone will come out right, but on a daily basis you behave as a father to him, there will be no progress and conflicts will continue. What would happen when you behave as a father when he is forty? (P.518)
Questioner: If the son has been defiant and says something unpleasant, you make a mental note of it and because of this you form an opinion about him which in turn influences the way you interact with him. Does this not complicate things further?
Dadashri: It is useless to make a note of anything in this world; in fact it is very destructive. You do not take note when someone praises you, but when someone insults you or swears at you, you make a note of that. Why get into this destructive hassle? Let the other person take mental notes if he wants to. You should not do that.
If your daughter-in-law is visiting with a friend and thinks you are in another room and cannot hear her and she says to her friend, ‘My father-in-law is mentally slow and lacks intelligence,’ and you happen to overhear her comment. Once you hear this, it will plague you. How should you handle this? You should realize that if you were away in another room, you would not have heard this conversation and therefore it would not have bothered you. It was the mistake of coming too close that now plagues you. You should now destroy that mistake by accepting that you were in the wrong place rather than blaming her as the culprit for your plague.
If when your son grows up and challenges your authority, you should know him as your thermometer. A thermometer is needed to see the degree to which you have attained religion in the home. Where else can you find a thermometer that measures this?
If your son hits you and you do not experience any kashaya (anger, greed, deceit and pride), realize that you are on your way to liberation. Understand that he is the thermometer to measure your kashaya. Where else would you find such a thermometer? (P.520)
This world is a theatr and you have to perform your role in the drama. In the drama would it work if you make your child and wife of the play, your real child and wife? As in the play it is acceptable for you to say, ‘This is my eldest son, live to be a hundred years old’ but you say this in a make-believe superficial fashion without any attachment. It is because you have believed them to be really yours, that you have to now do the pratikramans. Pratikraman would not have been necessary if you had not believed them to be yours. Attachment and abhorrence start from the moment you believe the relative to be real. Pratikraman liberates you. Your liberation will only come through aalochana, pratikraman and pratyakhyan (confession of wrongdoing, apology and repentance) as taught by Dada. (P.522)
I lost my temper with a man one day and I started telling him off in the middle of the street. A gentleman around me cautioned me and told me it was not appropriate for me to get into an argument in the middle of the bazaar. So I calmed down and thought about what I was doing. I explained to him that I was getting angry at the man because he was saying all kinds of things. He told me that it was not right for me to scold that man even if he was talking negatively. He went on further to explain and told me, ‘What is the point in kicking the toilet door just because the toilet smells bad? It is the nature of the toilet to smell bad. Who will be the loser in such a situation?’ At that time I did not have Gnan and what I was told has been very useful to me because I realized my mistake. I have not repeated this mistake. How can a toilet ever smell good? (P.524)
11. Grave Dangers Of Poking Fun
Questioner: When does one attain efficacy and power of speech (vachanbada)?
Dadashri: The power of speech arises when one does not use a single word to make fun of others, does not use it for his own selfish gain, does not misuse his speech, and does not use it to increase his pride.
Questioner: I can understand the reason for not using speech for personal gain and validation of pride, but why is it wrong when it is used to poke fun of others?
Dadashri: It is very wrong to make fun of others. It is better to praise others instead. If you call a man a donkey, realize that you are insulting the Lord within him. After all the Lord resides within him. (P.525)
I used to have a habit of making fun of people. Although it was lighthearted and innocuous, would it still not affect them mentally? People with higher intellect misuse it by making fun of those with lesser intellect. I stopped doing this the moment I came to realize how serious it was. Making fun of people is very wrong and carries grave consequences. You should never make fun of anyone. (P.528)
Despite this, there is nothing wrong in making the kind of fun that does not offend anyone and delights everyone. This would be regarded as harmless and innocent fun. I still joke around in this manner because the habit is still there, however it is always innocuous.
When I make fun of someone, it is harmless and innocuous and it is done to remove his weaknesses and make him stronger. Although there is some fun and enjoyment involved, he also makes progress at the same time. This kind of joking does not hurt anyone and even the other person realizes that I am simply laughing with him and not at him.
Even then when I joke about someone, I still have to do pratikraman. I cannot afford to be lax about that. (P.526)
In the past, I have made all kinds of fun about all sorts and classes of people, people of good reputations such as doctors and lawyers. It was all wrong ego. This is how I misused my intellect. To make fun of people is a mark of the intellect.
Questioner: I still feel like making fun of people.
Dadashri: There is danger in it. People have the power to make fun of others with their intellect but there is great liability incurred in doing so. In my pre Gnan life, I had repeatedly incurred this liability.
Questioner: What are the liabilities of making fun of others?
Dadashri: The liability you incur from making fun of someone is infinitely greater than if you were to slap him. By making fun of him, you have taken advantage of the one who is not able to defend himself because of his lesser intellect. If on the other hand you were to slap him, he knows, and he will retaliate. In this case he cannot do so; therefore the Lord within him will challenge you on his behalf. In taking advantage of his lesser intellect, you have made the Lord within him your adversary and so the consequences will be dire! (P.528)
12. Create ‘causes’ through pleasant speech!
Questioner: Will our speech become very pleasant in this life, if we do pratikraman?
Dadashri: After that, it will be beyond your imagination. The speech that emanates from me is the epitome of grace and only pratikraman is the reason behind it. You must have purity in your worldly dealings; only then will your speech become pure, pleasant and acceptable to everyone. (P.530)
Questioner: What kind of awareness should we keep while speaking?
Dadashri: The awareness should be to ‘see’, who, to what extent, and how the spoken words affect the foundation of the existence of the listener.
Questioner: What should we focus on internally, what care should we exercise, when we converse with others?
Dadashri: First, you must ask for permission to speak, from the Lord within the person you are going to address and ask the Lord to give you the absolute strength to speak in a manner that will be acceptable to him. Then you have to ask Dada, the Lord within you, for the same permission. Only then will your speech come out correct. But if you speak recklessly, how can you expect your speech to be correct?
Questioner: How can we keep asking for permission repeatedly?
Dadashri: You do not need to do this repeatedly! You only need to do that when you have to deal with your difficult files. (P.531)
When interacting with your sticky (difficult) files, first you must acknowledge the pure Self within the person and then recite the following Vidhi (that worth doing):
1.Dear Dadabhagwan give me the energy to speak in a manner that will heal and bring closure to the mind of _________(name of the file)
2.Say to your relative self, “Chandulal, say it in a manner that will bring closure to the mind of _________(name of the file).”
3.Ask Goddess Padmavati, “Dear Padmavati Devi, please remove all obstacles that stand in the way of bringing closure to the mind of __________(name of the file)" (P. 532)
Questioner: Sometimes when we see the view-point of the other person as wrong, then, our speech becomes harsh.
Dadashri: It is because you see things incorrectly that your speech comes out wrong. These prejudices and opinions, ‘ It is bad, It is wrong,’ get in the way and your speech comes out harsh.
The one who wants liberation, should not insist, ‘This is what needs to be done, and this is how it has to be done.’ Work towards a conclusion whichever way you can, without any insistence, and move ahead.
A man used to sell bangles for a living. He transported his goods in a large basket on the back of a donkey. As he approached the local market, he would shout, ‘Shoo Gadhedi (Gujarati word for a female donkey), move it!’ One man stopped him and told him not to say, ‘Gadhedi’ when he addressed the donkey because it would offend the women in the market who may think he was talking to them instead of the donkey. The vendor acknowledged this and admitted that such an incident had indeed occurred previously for which he had to do a lot of explaining. He asked the man how he could change this habit of his and the man suggested that instead of calling her, ‘Gadhedi’, he should address her in polite terms like, ‘Mother,’ or ‘Sister’. By addressing the donkey politely, even the donkey would appreciate it. Although these animals cannot speak they can sense your attitude and good intentions.
So this is how it can be changed! If you experiment, your speech will change. Once you understand what is beneficial and what is harmful, changes are possible. (P.533)
If we deiced that, ‘I want to speak the words that will not hurt any living being, no religion encounters any difficulty, and no religion’s foundation is offended.’ Such intentions will produce syaadvaad speech.
Questioner: If in the present life, one keeps reciting mechanically that he wants his speech to be sweet and pleasant to all living beings (syaadvaad), will it happen?
Dadashri: Only if he says it after understanding the definition of syaadvaad. How can you benefit from it when you do not understand what it means?
Only those who speak with focused awareness (upayoga) will have good speech and no one except the Gnani speaks with focused awareness. It is possible for those who have acquired Gnan to speak with such awareness. If they make the effort (purushaarth), they can have this awareness during their speech, because their true purushaarth only begins after they become a Purush (the Self); otherwise true purushaarth is not possible. (P.535)
Questioner: How can the understanding acquired in this life help improve our speech? Please explain with an example.
Dadashri: If someone were to insult you right now, it would affect you internally. You may retaliate mentally, ‘You are worthless,’ but the real You is not involved in this reaction. Once you have become the Self, you are separate from all the non-Self eternally. That is why You are separate from the above interaction. The other speaks as if it is ill or dying.
Questioner: Would this understanding help those who have not had the separation of the Self from the non-Self, the ego?
Dadashri: Yes, but he will say things as they are and later repent for what he said. (P .538)
If you want to improve your speech you must stop using hurtful speech towards others. You can also improve your speech if you do not see faults in others and if you avoid conflicts. (P. 540)
Questioner: If I want to improve my speech now, how can I do so?
Dadashri: You cannot improve your speech yourself because that speech has already been ‘recorded’.
Questioner: Yes. That is exactly why. It has become vyavasthit.
Dadashri: It has become vyavasthit but now here through the grace and compassion of the Gnani Purush, it can be changed. However, it is difficult to receive this grace.
Everything can be improved through the Gnani’s Agnas, because it is a security fence, which will prevent you from entering into another life.
Questioner: What do you mean by ‘into another life’?
Dadashri: It means that it will not let you fall back into worldly life.
Speech without ownership cannot be found in the world. Such speech can break all obstacles, but one should know how to satisfy and keep the Gnani happy. Such a speech can break through everything. If in just one hour, the Gnani can destroy your countless past lives karmas, then what can he not do? There is no doer ship. It is not possible to have speech without ownership. Nevertheless one must never question its existence. In fact, this happening of the ownerless speech is not an exception. It is a fact now. But if you want to rationalize its existence, then everything is vyavasthit, but you will not reap its full benefits. (If you say it was vyavasthit and because of your merit karma you acquired Self-Realization so be it, but if you say it happened because of the Gnani’s Agnas rather than vyavasthit, that makes Dada your whole and your sole. It is the Gnani’s grace that prevents us from perpetuating the worldly life, therefore the protection is because of the Gnani rather than vyavasthit. If you take the approach that it is Dada and his Agnas that has made the changes, then you will reap full benefits.)
Questioner: Please let the memory of this carry forward in our next life.
Dadashri: Yes. If you decide that you do not like your speech and you want your speech to be just like Dada’s, it will happen. It will depend on whatever you decide.
When making a ‘tender’ (bid) for your next life, make a firm decision as to how you want your speech and your conduct to be, and this tender will carry forward your decision. (P.456)
Questioner: Some people’s speech is so pleasant that others are captivated by it. What is that?
Dadashri: It happens when a person has internal purity and a lot of punyas (good deeds) and he accepts no money for himself. He devotes his life for the well being of others. Such people are considered to be pure.
Humans should have speech that is attractive, speech that wins over people’s minds. Their conduct and their humility should also be as attractive. But today, when people speak, others have to cover their ears! (P. 551)
As speech becomes sweet, it continues to become sweeter, and in the final life, its sweetness becomes incomparable. On the other hand, there are some who, when they speak, sound like a grunting bull! There is this kind of speech and there is also the speech of the Tirthankaras! (P. 552)
The person whose mind, speech and conduct do not harm or hurt anyone in the slightest is considered sheelvan (highest of morals; purity) and one cannot have speech that liberates, without becoming a sheelvan. (P. 553)
Moksha is when you continuously listen to your own speech. It is pointless to try and stop speech. Liberation cannot be attained merely through cessation of speech. When a person attempts to do so, he invites and awakens some other shakti (power or energy). All one’s energies should be allowed to work on their own. These energies all belong to the relative self , and one should not interfere with them. That is why I say that this speech is a recorded tape that is playing, and I am observing it. This is moksha! To observe this taped record is moksha!!
Therefore we should purify in every deed in the process of its dissipation. We should observe the process without attachment or abhorrence. We should let everything dissipate with equanimity. It is not difficult for a person to understand this, but there will be no end to this, if he does not. (P. 554)
This is science. In science one cannot make alterations or change anything. It is based on real principles and it is free from all contradictions. It is applicable to both the worldly and spiritual life. The only thing that it does not apply to is ordinary people at large, because there is a tremendous difference between their language and the language of the Gnani. The Gnani’s language is good and without any impediment. Only when the Gnani explains everything methodically, does the puzzle of life become solved.
When this Science of Akram Vignan is revealed to the world, it would benefit people tremendously, because never before has such a science come forth. Nobody has previously ever placed any kind of Gnan in the depths of the worldly life. Nobody has really dealt with the worldly life interactions before. They have only talked about spirituality. Spirituality has never entered into the worldly life. The two have been kept separate. Here, Akram Vignan has placed spirituality into the very core of worldly life. A completely new scripture has arisen and it is also scientific. It can never be contradicted anywhere. But now, how can this Akram Vignan be revealed to this world? The world would be blessed if it were revealed!
Questioner: That time will come too, right Dada?
Dadashri: Yes it will! (P. 555)
Aptasutras Of Dadashri
· Natural speech is devoid of all traces of ego.
· All these words are not being spoken by me. It is the original tape record playing. I am not the owner of this speech even for a second. That is why all puzzles can be solved
· Ownership of speech is the highest of all egos. All are aware of the ownership of the body but the worldly soul expresses itself mainly through the medium of speech.
· No one can copy the immovable Self. Speech is in constant motion. In it there is no element of the immovable constant Self.
· If a man is misusing his speech, do not spoil your speech in return.
· It is difficult to find someone to give you bitter speech. All these diseases of worldly interactions are the result of sweet speech. Bitter speech will remove the disease. Sweet speech will increase it. Our life should reach the level where no one will speak bitterly to us. Even so if bitter speech comes, listen to it, it is always beneficial.
· There is nothing wrong with speaking. But the protection, ‘I am right,’ should not be there.
· Where there is partiality in speech, violence exists. Where there is impartial speech non-violence exists.
· Without the Vitarag and The Speech of the Vitarag there is no liberation.
· When will absolutely impartial speech arise? When the ego is gone completely, the world appears flawless, no being is seen to be at fault, and there is no hurt inflicted on the foundation of any religion.
· Worldly pleasant speech leads to spiritual decline and impartial speech of love leads to spiritual progress.
· Self knowledge exists where absolute impartial speech flows. Where there is partial speech there is no Self knowledge.
May 29, 2005